feelings of being let down by those around you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Japan
Posts: 71
feelings of being let down by those around you
Hi Everyone,
I would like to know if my expectations of others were too high and unreasonable when I sought our their help and support. I have filed a grievance against a former employer and had asked several ex-colleagues(FRIENDS; including my brothers) to help me with my case by acting as a witness. The request did not actually require then to 'take the stand in person,' but rather be available to provide their perspectives in a writen state,ent about the job. Out of the four friends I contaced, only two replied with reasons as to why they did not want to, while the others did not respsond at all...As for my brother, he did not give me any reason. Shoud I feel let down? Angry?
PatK
I would like to know if my expectations of others were too high and unreasonable when I sought our their help and support. I have filed a grievance against a former employer and had asked several ex-colleagues(FRIENDS; including my brothers) to help me with my case by acting as a witness. The request did not actually require then to 'take the stand in person,' but rather be available to provide their perspectives in a writen state,ent about the job. Out of the four friends I contaced, only two replied with reasons as to why they did not want to, while the others did not respsond at all...As for my brother, he did not give me any reason. Shoud I feel let down? Angry?
PatK
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Well... What's your part in this? Maybe there is something happening here that you are unable or unwilling to see? Employers, Brothers, Friends. Maybe there is a message in there somewhere.
or, maybe not, maybe they are all out to abandon you.
Mark
or, maybe not, maybe they are all out to abandon you.
Mark
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Maybe the just don't want to 'stir the pot' so to speak.. or maybe they don't agree with your position on whatever it is you're upset about..
Either way, it sounds like you're spending a LOT of time and energy on this, and maybe it would be better spent improving other areas in your life.. just a thought.
Either way, it sounds like you're spending a LOT of time and energy on this, and maybe it would be better spent improving other areas in your life.. just a thought.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Definitely expectations OTT. Imo.
People aren't going to risk their own comfort for anyone else.
The people who *do* that
are mostly found in fiction
or on 'wow can you believe this?"
reality television shows.
It's so important in early recovery to understand self-sufficiency.
As alcoholics, we look to outside influences
to fill inner deficiencies.
The only thing we can expect from other people
is to learn something from them.
Learn from this.
We don't have to become bitter
or aloof...
we've just learned there's some things
we cannot expect from others.
People aren't going to risk their own comfort for anyone else.
The people who *do* that
are mostly found in fiction
or on 'wow can you believe this?"
reality television shows.
It's so important in early recovery to understand self-sufficiency.
As alcoholics, we look to outside influences
to fill inner deficiencies.
The only thing we can expect from other people
is to learn something from them.
Learn from this.
We don't have to become bitter
or aloof...
we've just learned there's some things
we cannot expect from others.
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