freya

For me, the key to discerning what my "next right thing" to do in any situation like this is acknowledging and accepting the fact that I cannot control other people nor am I responsible for what they think or say or feel or do. My responsibility is just to to speak my truth as simply, as directly, and as unhurtfully as possible..and then to let go of what other people choose to do with that.

freya

P.S. However, I do have to say that I totally loved logo's response...although my guess is that one has to have major attitude to pull that one off well!

Sugah

I tell the truth: I'm allergic. I break out in handcuffs.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Sugah

I read some of my work for a series last fall, and the hosts, a lively pair, kept things jumping with trivia contests between the readers. I won a free beer for answering some literary question. It was a decent beer -- but it took me three tables to finally give it away. Turns out a lot of writers these days are health-conscious and don't drink.... imagine that...

Peace & Love,
Sugah

traderjane

This is a really timely issue for me. From what I can see, there are two groups of people in my life (1) people who know me as the drinking/partying Laura, and (2) people who have never seen that side of me.

The second group is very easy for me to deal with. My whole set of co-workers falls into this category because I have never drank with them. I have a conference in Florida coming up this week and we will have two receptions (which means alcohol) and I have to be at both of them. This is my chance to start off on the right track with them as a "non-drinker." It will be easy. I'll just say things like, "Sticking with the cranberry juice tonight" or whatever. None of their business why I'm not drinking and I doubt they will question it. One interesting thing about drinking cranberry on the rocks is that many people assume that it's a cocktail! Easy way out! Last time I drank cranberry even the waiter thought I already had a cocktail from the bar.

Now the first group of people is more problematic for me. There are some I would feel comfortable telling that I don't drink anymore (for any number of reasons: feeling better, bad sleep while drinking, being healthier, etc.) Some I would even go so far as to say I couldn't control my drinking. But there is one person in particular I'm really worried about telling because I drank with her last week (my little relapse). She is moving and I want her to move quickly so I don't have to explain anything to her (she is very pushy and won't want to accept that I stopped drinking, probably because it means she might have to face that she has a problem, too.) I have to get through 2-3 more celebrations for her without drinking and somehow explaining my not drinking. It's going to be interesting.

So obviously this is a big question that affects many of us here - thanks for raising it.

SomethingBetter

I can relate to this, "to us alcoholics the bar-b-q was all about the beer... we could take or leave the actual bar-b-q..."

Sounds so true!

I actualy have this issue to work out as well, for now I am just trying not to drink today, I''ll deal with those questions when they come.

Last time I was asked to come over to have a beer I said I wasnt drinking anymore, but that rolled out a bunch of other questions, for now I am just going to say no to the situations in general, when the times comes I like Dee's answer "No thanks, I dont drink".

Good thread, thanks!

Ninsuna

I also don't want to lie about it, but don't want to spill my guts either. I simply say I don't drink, and if people are still pressuring me to drink after that then I am with the wrong people. I have a sis in law who simply doesn't drink, never has and is married to my hard drinking brother, maybe I'll ask her what she says.

dsc

The people I don't want to tell, I simply won't tell.

I was at a little get-together with my brother & his in-laws a few months ago. Brother lives 1000 miles away and I only see him once every 1-2 years. Lots of booze. When it came to do some toasts, I made the motion forward and respectfully toasted but didn't drink. That amused one little 16-18 yr old princess who gave me the ol' mocking look. But it's not like it matters anyhow. People like that can go to hell with what they think..

I've had lots of 'friends' in the past who on occasion (while I was still drinking) say little backhanded, snarky things to imply I drank too much.

Then on previous quits when I reveal I quit or am taking a break and they deliver more 'snark'. I hate this competitive 'one-up's-manship' but that's how it seems to be between us guys.

So farc that..


Truth of the matter is I have borderline high blood pressure.

I am a little overweight largely due to the past beer drinking, poor nutritional choices and inactivity.

Quitting drinking is helping. I've also quit drinking coffee the last month too. I'll clean up the diet when I return home from holidays & clear Xmas/New Year's also. I came across some info that if one goes vegetarian, your blood pressure will drop (partly because your weight will normalize). I'm not saying I plan to 'go veg' the rest of my life, but it won't kill me for a few months.

Anyhow, I just mention about the high BP because if any of the few people who care about why I'm not drinking actually say anything (mostly family, and only a few friends), I'll just mention that I'm making a few positive changes to my life and I'm feeling a lot better about my health & life in general.

Really -- who can say anything bad about that?