rise in self esteem
jimbo
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: london berks England
Posts: 426
rise in self esteem
i think the most wonderful thing about my being sober is the rise in self worth self esteem or whatever it is
being bald and not overly pleasing on the eye i seldom look in the mirror lol
today for the first time i looked in the mirror and there was the face of a long lost friend a nice guy ,a kind guy some one before the pain and grief of family deaths and other horrors i cant mention here got into drinking his pain away
a face that was free from the yellow eyes ,bloated features and red veins everywhere,yes the face was mine i had not seen it i a long while
i could of wept i'm not kidding you
my feeling of self worth has soared ,i dont let people treat like dog crap any more ,why did i let them?? i think i thought i was little more than that to be honest,always letting everyone down,always lying about my drinking ,putting every one else last so i could drink myself into a coma and relieve the pain of my thoughts
it really is good to be the person that i wanted to be the person that i knew was inside me some where
i can look my children in the eye and i feel good about myself ,i feel good about myself and proud of myself and it feels great
so if any of you guys out there are wondering if giving up drinking is good for you please believe my friends it is the best thing i have done in years and without coming across as a more soberer than thou guy life has gone from a living hell to well fantastic and its great to play the lead role in my life again and have the starring role sorry jack daniels you are fired and you will never work in this town again
being bald and not overly pleasing on the eye i seldom look in the mirror lol
today for the first time i looked in the mirror and there was the face of a long lost friend a nice guy ,a kind guy some one before the pain and grief of family deaths and other horrors i cant mention here got into drinking his pain away
a face that was free from the yellow eyes ,bloated features and red veins everywhere,yes the face was mine i had not seen it i a long while
i could of wept i'm not kidding you
my feeling of self worth has soared ,i dont let people treat like dog crap any more ,why did i let them?? i think i thought i was little more than that to be honest,always letting everyone down,always lying about my drinking ,putting every one else last so i could drink myself into a coma and relieve the pain of my thoughts
it really is good to be the person that i wanted to be the person that i knew was inside me some where
i can look my children in the eye and i feel good about myself ,i feel good about myself and proud of myself and it feels great
so if any of you guys out there are wondering if giving up drinking is good for you please believe my friends it is the best thing i have done in years and without coming across as a more soberer than thou guy life has gone from a living hell to well fantastic and its great to play the lead role in my life again and have the starring role sorry jack daniels you are fired and you will never work in this town again
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Hey, I'm bald, except for my pony tail and proudly so. I look in the mirror and a sober man is looking back at me. I think we're both in amazed gratefullness. Life i8s good and I am too. I toot my horn instead of getting tooted. I'm wonder-filled and "Wonder is not a disease."—Allan Watts
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1
amazing
that is just amazing, I had the same experience, twice.
The first time was after many years of abuse to myself and my family. I had no idea just how far down my self esteem had gone. It took a long time to slowly build it back up.
Then I had been sober for 5 years, honestly never ever thought I would ever take a drink again. It was at Christmas time and many many times a co-worker had brought in home made chocolates for all the staff to try. They were great, but this time they were filled with alcohol. I had no idea and he had no idea I was an alcoholic. I didn't realize it till I felt the warmth of the alcohol passing down my throat to my stomach. I then instantly knew and the remorse was instant too.
My positive thoughts went to exstreemly negative. I told myself, I blew it, you idiot, there goes five years of sobriety, how could you let this happen. Then the shame and then, ****, I will just won't tell anyone. The hiding and guilt snowballed.
I really thought if that ever happened I would tell someone right away and get to a meeting. I didn't. The hiding caused even more shame, I couldn't look at myself. I didn't want to go to a meeting, I didn't want to talk to anyone and the next day, I talked myself into having a drink. That went ok, I didn't get swallowed up right away. I didn't loose control right away, so I had another. Then as each day went by, I had more and each day I would tell myself, well just for today, tomorrow I will stop, tomorrow I will tell someone.
Each day got worse and worse. Soon it was effecting work and relationships. people started to suspect but were scared to ask. Then my son found a bottle in my room. This was four months after that first drink.
My self esteem was in the gutter by this time, I couldn't look in the mirror. All I saw was an ugly, sad looking woman when I did.
I got back to meetings and forced myself to go because I really didn't want to be there and i didn't want to share with anyone what had happened. But I also knew from listening to so many people that had come before me, that i needed to go no matter what.
it took about 6 - 7 weeks of going every day and sharing when I could to begin to feel a part of again. I thank God that I got to meetings and listened.
I have three months again and I can look in the mirror and smile at ME.
Thanks for your sharing, I learn from each and every person that does. I am grateful today and this was a huge lesson in one day at a time. All I have is today. I proved that to myself. You just never know so live and enjoy today.
Deb
The first time was after many years of abuse to myself and my family. I had no idea just how far down my self esteem had gone. It took a long time to slowly build it back up.
Then I had been sober for 5 years, honestly never ever thought I would ever take a drink again. It was at Christmas time and many many times a co-worker had brought in home made chocolates for all the staff to try. They were great, but this time they were filled with alcohol. I had no idea and he had no idea I was an alcoholic. I didn't realize it till I felt the warmth of the alcohol passing down my throat to my stomach. I then instantly knew and the remorse was instant too.
My positive thoughts went to exstreemly negative. I told myself, I blew it, you idiot, there goes five years of sobriety, how could you let this happen. Then the shame and then, ****, I will just won't tell anyone. The hiding and guilt snowballed.
I really thought if that ever happened I would tell someone right away and get to a meeting. I didn't. The hiding caused even more shame, I couldn't look at myself. I didn't want to go to a meeting, I didn't want to talk to anyone and the next day, I talked myself into having a drink. That went ok, I didn't get swallowed up right away. I didn't loose control right away, so I had another. Then as each day went by, I had more and each day I would tell myself, well just for today, tomorrow I will stop, tomorrow I will tell someone.
Each day got worse and worse. Soon it was effecting work and relationships. people started to suspect but were scared to ask. Then my son found a bottle in my room. This was four months after that first drink.
My self esteem was in the gutter by this time, I couldn't look in the mirror. All I saw was an ugly, sad looking woman when I did.
I got back to meetings and forced myself to go because I really didn't want to be there and i didn't want to share with anyone what had happened. But I also knew from listening to so many people that had come before me, that i needed to go no matter what.
it took about 6 - 7 weeks of going every day and sharing when I could to begin to feel a part of again. I thank God that I got to meetings and listened.
I have three months again and I can look in the mirror and smile at ME.
Thanks for your sharing, I learn from each and every person that does. I am grateful today and this was a huge lesson in one day at a time. All I have is today. I proved that to myself. You just never know so live and enjoy today.
Deb
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