Better Day... Pfft
DOS: 11/6/10
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Florida Panhandle, USA
Posts: 736
Better Day... Pfft
So, yeah, all that stuff yesterday about hoping just for a good day? Forget it. The trip to the gig was so negative,down, and depressing, that I SERIOUSLY played badly all night in some kind of fog. Yet another time when I would have been like, "where's the wine?"... and all the way back as well (an hour and a half each way).
And he wasn't so excited about my 3 weeks sober... I mean, he was like, "cool, good job" but that was it. He's just in this funky place (think bi-polar downswing) and although I KNOW I shouldn't let it affect me, it's like having a raging bull in the room with me and someone saying, "well, don't let it get to you".
I am taking ativan for anxiety in exactly the doses prescribed for me, and maybe it is helping in that I haven't jumped off a bridge or anything but good God, I am at the end of my rope. If his goal is to test how far he can push me and I still really will not drink, well, he's doing a great job (but failing).
Other than hubby, I am good. I have a sort of sponsor that I check in with daily, although I have trouble getting to meetings. Most are too early (I wake up around 1 because I usually work late) or too close to the gig time for the late afternoon ones. It sucks because I'd go every day if there was just a mid-afternoon meeting somewhere.
So today, I am not daring to hope for a "better day"... but to maintain my own serenity and in the words of Jimmy Buffett, "breathe in, breathe out, and move on".
Sober, peaceful day to you all,
s
And he wasn't so excited about my 3 weeks sober... I mean, he was like, "cool, good job" but that was it. He's just in this funky place (think bi-polar downswing) and although I KNOW I shouldn't let it affect me, it's like having a raging bull in the room with me and someone saying, "well, don't let it get to you".
I am taking ativan for anxiety in exactly the doses prescribed for me, and maybe it is helping in that I haven't jumped off a bridge or anything but good God, I am at the end of my rope. If his goal is to test how far he can push me and I still really will not drink, well, he's doing a great job (but failing).
Other than hubby, I am good. I have a sort of sponsor that I check in with daily, although I have trouble getting to meetings. Most are too early (I wake up around 1 because I usually work late) or too close to the gig time for the late afternoon ones. It sucks because I'd go every day if there was just a mid-afternoon meeting somewhere.
So today, I am not daring to hope for a "better day"... but to maintain my own serenity and in the words of Jimmy Buffett, "breathe in, breathe out, and move on".
Sober, peaceful day to you all,
s
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Hi sunrise!
Sober to you to you as well
Maybe you could start getting up at 1130 and hit some noon meetings?
You will feel a lot better if you focus and participate in your recovery as much as possible.
Hope you have a great day!
Oh and BTW, I have been sober 13 months and it is not that big of a deal to my husband either. After all, not drinking is normal to him so I get me kudos from other recovering alcoholics who can understand
Sober to you to you as well
Maybe you could start getting up at 1130 and hit some noon meetings?
You will feel a lot better if you focus and participate in your recovery as much as possible.
Hope you have a great day!
Oh and BTW, I have been sober 13 months and it is not that big of a deal to my husband either. After all, not drinking is normal to him so I get me kudos from other recovering alcoholics who can understand
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Medina, Ohio
Posts: 372
Hi,
It sucks when we don't get the support we need from loved ones with regards to our sobriety. We are responsible for our own sobriety and must always be on watch to ensure these trials don't become excuses to drink down the road. I went through a divorce while getting sober and I feel your pain... but you can do this. Please be aware that our minds can go to great lengths to get us to drink. It is good that you have a Sponsor and talk to him daily, try to get to as many meetings as you can. Morning and evening prayer are extremely helpful to me as well. I wish you luck and continued success.
It sucks when we don't get the support we need from loved ones with regards to our sobriety. We are responsible for our own sobriety and must always be on watch to ensure these trials don't become excuses to drink down the road. I went through a divorce while getting sober and I feel your pain... but you can do this. Please be aware that our minds can go to great lengths to get us to drink. It is good that you have a Sponsor and talk to him daily, try to get to as many meetings as you can. Morning and evening prayer are extremely helpful to me as well. I wish you luck and continued success.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
No one is more pleased or more proud of my sobriety than I am - and I don't expect anyone else to even notice.
In fact - I believe others would just as soon want me to drink, maybe they thought I was more fun?
Who did you quit drinking for?
Maybe... think about how we each have 24 hours in a day, and we each get to determine how we spend our time. I forego some things to attend meetings. When I first started with meetings I'd say, "I can't go... I have to __________ ." Now the meetings have some priority in my life because the meetings give me life.
If nothing changes... don't expect much to change.
I hope you are feeling better soon.
In fact - I believe others would just as soon want me to drink, maybe they thought I was more fun?
Who did you quit drinking for?
Maybe... think about how we each have 24 hours in a day, and we each get to determine how we spend our time. I forego some things to attend meetings. When I first started with meetings I'd say, "I can't go... I have to __________ ." Now the meetings have some priority in my life because the meetings give me life.
If nothing changes... don't expect much to change.
I hope you are feeling better soon.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
What's important is that you're getting sober one day at a time. Your husbands problems are his own. You need to concentrate on is you and how you feel about yourself. And try harder to make some meetings. My standard was if the situation wasn't so bad that it would keep me from the liquor store, then it isn't so bad that I can't squeeze in a meeting.
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