baggervance

I am agin getting into the same place with AA, finding myself frustrated with the people there the ones that talk forever and say the same stuff over and over agin. I did over 400 meetings my first year I guess a 150 were on gratitude mostly because the chair was unprepared. This time I made my self a promise no more gratitude meetings if the chair cops out. Ive walked out of four now in 30 days and havent been everytime. I know this problem is me and the only time Ive been sober or clean is when I went and did the work but I feel that old me creeping in, getting smart. I get so bored hearing the same stuff jeez. Our group has started reading everything under the sun like 30 mins of reading if everyone can read well sometimes its 35-40 they even announced something happening in Ohio next april , by the way were in Tennessee. When the blow hards get through talkin their 15 mins a peice it is 9;15 and time to go. anyway just venting
:wtf2

joedris

I don't suppose there are any other meeting you can go to?

Mark75

Was that Akron, OH?

littlebluedog

That's what I was thinking. I know what you mean be hearing the same stories over and over, but maybe it's like re-living it for them every time they say it? I dunno. That's my 2 cents. Hope you find one you like!:ghug3

baggervance

I live in a small town we have AA and Na in my town same people. There are meetings in the towns around me I attend but so do these same people I go to a meeting once a week 60 miles away but that is not fesible four five times aweek. There is a meeting around thirty miles but its on Sunday and we go to church with the kids then. No not akron it was a camp out a freind of his was having they even announce yard sales some time just ridiculas stuff. When I first started AA here it was different they didnt read alot there was no monopolizing the meetings and we were done at 9 O'clock. The meeting I attend once a week sometimes has 40 people we always get thru, alot more than three people share also. Its like the chair person and these same people every meeting I know principles before personallities and Im trying hard but dont know how much longer I can take it.

Sugah

Join a home group, bagger, and bring it up at a group conscience meeting. We rotate chairs every month and our chair is expected to come prepared with a topic from the book. Although we do love our gratitude meetings, and I don't think they're a cop-out. I've always been told that a grateful heart will not -- cannot -- drink, and I believe it.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

barb dwyer

Hi, Bagger-

For me, the trick is getting the 'new' me to have the reins so the 'old' me can't take over any more.
That's done by working the steps with a sponsor.
And applying the principles in all our affairs.
I didn't see mention of a sponsor, so ...

Wonder what would happen if you went in to the meeting and read what you posted here?

Maybe these people don't know how ineffective they really are.

''Old Timers' HATE to be told they're in a rut, but ...
well hell - many DO get in ruts.
And they're not being honest if they continually deny it.

We *all* need change, no matter how badly we dread it.

Just wondering what would happen.

One thing we do here in MT,
because it's such a big state...
often people will 'buddy up' and go to meetings in other towns.
it keeps the sharing lively in the home group.

Just a thought.

baggervance

Barb,
Your right about the new me I agree with what you said. I do have a sponser and talk daily my sponser knows me well and thinks I need to stop going to these meetings. They are close to home and if Im not doing anything I feel I should go. I dont want to drink today its just He11 I dont know what it is. The gratitude deal is the chair ask for a topic and before I could speak he said well I dont have anything so lets just do a Gratitude meeting which they had had one 5 days ago with the same people there.

barb dwyer

that's when I'd bust right in and just say ... here's another idea for a topic.

I mean, the worst they could do is shoot ya or something, right?
Cut ya into pieces, mail ya to the Hoffas...

But then, I *am * out here in the 'frontier'...
and not exactly KNOWN for my adherence to rules.

I know that's UNUSUAL for an alcoholic...
but ..
there it is.

You could toy with the idea of starting your own group...
officially unofficial or something.
Sometimes just word getting out
is enough to spur some change.

CarolD

Hmm...
What do you do when you are the chair?
What topics does your sponsor chair on?

Katie09

I went to a meeting once and the chair said this. Please limit your sharing to 3 to 5 minutes - and those are real minutes, not AA minutes. I thought it was kinda cute.

On a serious note, I do think if anyone is going to chair they should really control the meeting and limit the amount of time someone may speak, out of consideration to all.

And topics I would love to see discussed include, but are not limited to: how to deal with loneliness, anger, sadness, etc. These are the emotions that drive many to drink.

littlefish

I have noticed that like everything else in life, there is a lot goin' on in AA. There are people who want to hold on to old ideas and newcomers who want to shake things up.

Yes, I certainly can relate to the same-old, same-old thing. There is one lady who comes to my home group on Monday's and she is actually Al-anon. She is not an alcoholic. She repeats exactly the same share very single time, to the point where I am sure everyone in the room can already guess what she is going to say next. Does she annoy me? Yes. Do I do anything about it? No.

Am I going to be the one to point out that she doesn't belong in an AA meeting? no, I haven't done it yet. So, the ball is in my court.

Maybe the ball is in your court, too.

It boils down to if you really want to see a change, then, make it. There is a guy here in Stockholm who came from the states a couple of years ago, and he has just done some incredible things with AA in this area. He has set up bi-lingual groups, has started youth groups and special occasion events. He is on fire!

He is a mover and shaker and has made some much needed changes. (He is involved with the other group I am connected to, which is international).
I think that one day, if I am involved enough, I might try to make some changes in my home group. But, no one else is going to be around to push me, I will have to be a self-starter.

tommyk

Join a home group, and have a group conscience is a good idea.

Start your own meeting?

baggervance

when I chair or my sponser chairs we have a topic ready something my sponser insist on. If I am gonna take the chair then I better be prepared or sonser will jump me the topic will be on not taking action or something along those lines. You miss the point. "out of 400 meetings my first year 150 were on gratitude" liberal estimate. When 1/3 of the meetings you attend are on the same topic with the same people what do you think you hear? The same thing. My sponser dose not agree with me walking out of meetings. If I stayed I would be rude its in my nature. I could start a new meeting but this is a town of 2000 so I dont think that would work. I want to make this work but this is how I burnt out last time so Im looking for answers.

gravity

Quite honestly, this is something I would meditate on.

There was a time when I was not happy attending AA meetings (found them very negative, fear based sobriety) but I did not have much sober time or know many people so my influence was very limited. I was leaving meetings feeling worse than when I walked in.

What I ended up doing was coming to meetings early prepared with topics. I would suggest the topic & offer to read the appropriate passage from the Big Book. I would offer to chair the meeting. I would make my shares very specific; the problem, the solution (12 steps) - a message of hope.

Maybe I can't change what others do but I can change what I do (The Serenity Prayer applies).

So did the meetings change? I don't know but my perception of them sure did!

Also, it could be about balance. Maybe you are attending too many meetings?

I wonder if you are drawing too close a connection between meetings & sobriety. Meetings are great but they won't keep me sober or get me drunk. It's all in the steps, the daily reprieve.

Gypsy Feet

I have nothing to offer as I have never been to a meeting, but MAN IS THAT DOG CUTE!

baggervance

I took a new guy to a speaker meeting it was good dont know if working with someone or the fact that it was a speaker meeting but I was enjoying the meeting. I think I may do some traveling around next week and hit another out of town meeting an jus stay away from the meetings here for awhile.

CarolD

My point was.....by the 2 of you chairing...you can depend
on those meetings to not have gratitude as a topic.

My home group ...also small town AA....has smoking and
non smoking meetings. As I smoke...I perfer the go
to the smoking ones. I usually do 3 a week....

Good to know you are moving forward....

baggervance

I can understand this point your first one I took as a typical AA smartass response. Suggesting that my sponsor nor I are prepared. If I took it wrong I apologize.

yeahgr8

I am having to travel (i don't mind at all) a 2 hour round trip to get to the kind of meetings that i feel are good for me. i won't say exactly where i am, but i went to one in my local area, they only have them on tues and thurs, there were 9 people, one advocated the use of pot whilst getting sober, one was discussing the benefits of using prescription meds instead of drinking and was it ok to take more than necessary and a guy turned up half pissed, shared and ****** off...quality, loved it...am going back this tues for more although i will probably not be looking for a sponsor at these meetings:-)

oh yeah the best bit of the meeting was that one of the ladies came, i presume she was the organiser of sorts, out asked if i was a newcomer and i said yes, then asked if i had been to an aa meeting before i said yes and she replied oh good i can't stand going through all that newcomer stuff in the meeting hehe