redshift

...I need your help. How do I keep playing music publicly while maintaining sobriety? So much of music is associated with booze and good times. Big Question: do I need to give up my craft? Playing to coffee houses ain't the same. I know it's based on how uncomfortable I am with my own situation, but for those independent musicians/artists/poets/etc... was this the end of the line for that dream, at the expense of addiction?

Honestly, I can't stand to bear the thought of having to abandon the giggng lifestyle. But I also can't continue living this way. When you find your saving graces (i.e., music) are only a little more important than those that damn you, what do you do?

If hell had a bar i'd be playing it right now...

Thanks for any responses!

flutter

I don't have any experience in that world, but I did want to say this.. music and gigging will be there when you are more secure in recovery, but how long will your health and sanity be around (if either are not effected already)? I bet if you put a lot of that creative energy into your sobriety, you would eventually find new and maybe even better ways of expressing yourself musically that wouldn't interfere with your healthier life.

sunrise1

Hey there,

I am a pro musician... meaning it's my full time thing. I know another guy who is simply amazing... 25 years of sobriety under his belt. It is a SERIOUS challenge... do you play with another musician or someone you can trust? I find when I tell someone else that I shouldn't be drinking it's a lot easier to stick to that.

Rusty Zipper

rs, if your new to recovery, sugestion, bag the gig'n for some time...

work a revovery program that works for you, and grow with it...

for me, i did, and still do play out...

just what worked, was not playing out for almost two years...

now, i can go to my thing, love the music, pack up and leave...

it all comes down to choices...

whats more important...

recovery, and staying stoped, or our self-seeking desires?

and please dont say i have to make a living...

any lenghts!

goos wishes rs

rz

serenityqueen

Music isn't Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll like it was years ago. Stop and think about how many musicians and other artists are proudly announcing that they are in Recovery. After I read your thread, I googled "clean and sober musicians" and found lots of hits. Check it out! Have you ever listened to the CD by SixxAM, "The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack?" Every song on there has to do with Recovery. The lyrics are inspiring and the music is some of the best that's been out in years.

Over the past few years I have ran into several local, professional musicians (not garage bands) and it's quite clear who's clean and sober and who isn't. The ones who still live the Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll lifestyle look like they're 80 years old, haven't played a real gig in ages and most can't even keep a band together due to someone dying, getting busted or in and out of treatment.

I don't have any advice or suggestions that are specific to only musicians, but by far, I think your best chances of getting and remaining clean & sober and living your life being able to express yourself is by going to AA and working the Steps. I know many get tired of hearing that but there's a reason that so many of us suggest it. It works if you work it!


God Bless,
Judy

FightingIrish

A friend of min e is a professional musician and did gigs during his first year. He found a couple other members of A.A. who were also musicians to play a few gigs, then they started to record an album. A group of us from the rooms would go to bars (some quite sordid) to hear them play.

redshift

Thank you...

I think for me, the challenge is that music IS my saving grace. It's what I know and what I love. It's where I find hope. I'm not above letting it go if I must, but that is one heck of a pill to swallow. It's not my full time job right now, but it's where I find enjoyment in life.

In the end I suppose this is a case of sour grapes, and pretty minor compared to things others have been through, but for me it's very hard to find hope in recovery if I must abandon what I know and love to get there. But so be it if so...

Thanks for all your replies, they mean a lot to me!

RS

Mark75

I'm not a professional musician, but music is a HUGE part of my life, I play guitar, banjo, harmonica, some fiddle... Listen constantly. Genres that I like (esp alt.country) seem to sing a lot about alcohol.... probably because they drink a lot of it!

In the genre I like there are some recovering high profile musicians... Jimmie Dale Gilmore (awesome!!), Steve Earl, Ryan (not Brian) Adams... They are an inspiration. And of course on the blues side... Stevie Ray Vaughn (tragic plane crash), Ronnie Earl. And, of course, Greg Allman... Did I read about Clapton?

Get some good role models!!

Mark

Dime

I am not a professional but have played publicly and know exactly what you are referring to. My thing has been improvisation and I had done it almost exclusively after several drinks. When I drank I could start cold without having to loosen or warm up. But the honest thing about it is that I was only good for a certain period of time before I cratered. Eventually alcoholism completely took away my ability to play along with most of what life has to offer.

I have been playing sober now for quite a while now and it is different. I do require a warm up "brain phase in mode". But when I warm up sober my mind is functioning and I have been to put different ideas together that I never could while I was drinking. When I get "on" I can stay there for much longer now and not have to stop due to cratering. I can actually remember what I had played or learned and do it the next day now.

Many outstanding musicians got much better after getting sober. Remember the wonderful musicians that have died in the pursuit of getting that ultimate buzz to get there. It just ain't worth fooling with and you really can be better sober.

Mark75

Sorry... Can't resist... Ted Nugent is stone cold sober, wonderfully wacky!!

Gypsy Feet

"Metallica frontman James Hetfield made a couple of brief statements after exiting rehab for alcohol and substance abuse in December, but now, with more than two and a half sober months under his studded belt, he's posted a more lengthy and passionate message on the band's Web site.

"Recovery is the most difficult and challenging thing I've ever attempted (along with parenting)," he wrote in the site's members-only section. "[It's] also the most grounding and gratifying gift I've ever received (along with parenting)."

He again thanked his fans and friends for the flood of support they've shown since he entered rehab in July. Echoing comments he made in December (see "James Hetfield Exits Rehab, Rejoins Metallica"), he also emphasized how being in treatment has given him new insight into the way many fans have been personally affected by his lyrics.

"My music and lyrics have always been a therapy for me," he said. "Without this God-given gift, I don't know where I'd be. Now I truly feel the impact and connection [they have] made with others. Struggle to struggle. Pain to pain. Human to human, not idol to fan, fan to idol. Clarity has put me in a humble and serene place to receive this connection in return and feel it helping heal me."

ww.mtv.com/news/articles/1452494/20020221/metallica.jhtml

I had to give up a few things (and people) I loved when I first stopped drinking. Gradually I started finding that some of these could be a bigger, more important part of my life sober. Take it slow, do what feels right, concentrate on today and what will keep you sane in the moment.

Rusty Zipper

rs i'm feel'n ya rs!

heres a little something for ya!

some time ago, i was at a local meeting, and this guy comes up to me and says...

"Hey, aint you the drummer i hear people talking about?"

i say, well, i aint the only drummer around...

he says, no, the one that has that No Booze Blues Band...

yep, now were connected!

only, that band aint no more...

the time thing, the other muscians are family people, and their kids are growing up, and needing them to be around...

well, i got a thought he says!

i go to this little ministry on sundays morns, and they could use a drummer...

Hmmm! scratching chin, do tell more...

the minister is the guitar player, and the singer, they do about a 45 min set before the service...

i said, hook me up...

the first time i went there, i played, and it was a train wreck!

no rhythm much happening, the min had two left feet, and the bass player is a drummer turned bassist!, go fig'a!

well, its been almost a year since that first day...

i play on a yamaha lectric kit, hey, it aint so bad...

with some work, some progress, and being guided by the Spirit

now, the min has got some rhythm, and the bands sound'n hot!

this little group of God Rockers, now Rocks...

with a li'l of my funky roots...

we have a indian lady, the mins wife, and a few others that sing backup, and they sing like angels!

a young lady of 9 ish shows up, and is always up sway'n to the music...

what a great way to start a sunday morning...

i'm grateful to that guy from the rooms for connecting with me...

he's in prison right now, making some restitution, and happy to do it, he's carrying the message there... we stay in touch,

and i will see him again someday, and bring him to the Rock'n with the Spirit Sessions...

grateful to have picked up the sticks again in my recovery!

love, and many blessings

and a little ps on this writing...

the prison dudes out now, and we cant wait to have him come to see his little work in progress!

rz

justanothrdrunk

I gave up my craft. Though not solely because I couldn't stay sober. It was more the other way around, and other factors.

My playing suffered as a result of my use and I wound up taking a sort of hiatus as a result. Once I sobered up, I didn't go back.

Part of the deal is that now I have a wife and child, full-time job with a health plan, etc. I found that the two lifestyles didn't fit together.

I'm not saying that sobriety can't happen in that environment. And I never really gave sobriety a try in that way. Though making a comeback isn't an option for me right now. And part of the reason (only part, not all) is because of that lifestyle and how I don't think I'm comfortable enough in my recovery right now to put it at risk.

Just my experience...

redshift

Appreciate all the comments, and thanks Cubile75 for the comment about finding role models - great idea, and there is no shortage of stories of addiction and recovery in the music industry, that's for sure! (And yes, the Nuge rules )

On a bit of a tangent, I saw this TED talk by author Elizabeth Green a while back but am re-watching it today. For me, it's enlightening, useful, and ultimately extremely uplifting:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86x-u-tz0MA

I don't claim to be an artist, but the themes she brings up are pretty universal to anyone who has dabbled in any sort of creativity (i.e., everybody).

There is such an emotional investment in any creative effort, it's hard not to get wrapped up in it to the point where you experience at least a little pain.

I started this thread with a specific problem of mine in mind, but now I'm interested in opening it up to discussion about the creative arts, addictions, hope, and their relationships, because I think this is a Hard Problem for a lot of people, including myself.

What does everyone think? Per the video, ole to all in their creative endeavors

Sugah

I'm a writer in and out of academia, and it's no surprise that the preferred beverage at readings and gatherings is anything with alcohol in it. I once had a professor dig around in his fridge and finally come out with a root beer (belonging to his son) for me to drink. I learned in situations like that to bring my own non-alcoholic beverages.

The other thing I found, however, is that I'm usually not the only non-drinker. People are a lot more health conscious than they used to be, and we don't all have to be F. Scott Fitzgerald or Hunter S. Thompson to practice our craft.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

NEOMARXIST

Hey man, I'm feeling ya bro!!! I have been/am in the EXACT same postion/dilemma.
feel free to read my first post I left on this site a few weeks ago when I joined in the 'Newcomers to Recovery' section entitled "Feeling positive about my futur!but know this feeling will go"
I played a gig that very night and it was the one of the only gig's I have stayed sober at. It is hard to explain to non-musicians but it is almost a way of life and the buzz you get when you finish performin a good gig is incredible powerfull and drinking/partyin afterwards just seems SO right!!! My partying vs desire to be sober, has caused me a great deal of dilemmas about my music and playing in bands/gigging as drinking/drugs/partying is entagled within the whole environment. Cause of great dilemma to me,. All of my Idols are mostly dead through it as well, It just seems to be a real personality trait of a certain percentage of creative types/musos.

Jfanagle

Read Eric Clapton's book, CLAPTON. While I am not a musician by any sense of the word, I was amazed as I read this man's book and saw what getting and staying sober did for an already amazing life. If you read this you will find that AA has kept him sober and happy for many years.

Best of luck to you and don't drown your talent to the detriment of those of us who aren't as lucky.

Jon

redshift

Thanks again to all. I have picked up the Clapton audiobook and cannot wait to start listening first thing tomorrow

justanothrdrunk, since you have given it up, do you miss it? If so, how do you tackle those feelings?

And another topic: managing the highs and lows that come when you play a song, read a poem/story, have artwork on display, or perform a play. For me, I feel on cloud nine when I play a song out or know that I've written something truly special (to me, anyhow ). But I know that with great highs come great lows...

Have you other creative folks found the same to be true, and if so, are the great highs you get your endeavors really worth it?

Thanks,
RS

FightingIrish

I am a classical musician; I have not experienced any lows from performing.

chip

Hi redshift,

There's been lots of good things written here so far. I'm a former gigging musician.

My drinking and drug use seemed to go hand in hand with the lifestyle I thought I wanted. I slowly became a "chronic" pot smoker because I felt it helped me be creative and write music. I was very comfortable as an alcoholic playing in bars as the booze made me feel more confident etc...

Eventually, I couldn't write any more decent music. I began to have difficulty playing live as well. Gigs became a struggle for me to stay sober enough to play and drive home afterward. I was always the one who kept going and going at the post gig party.....often my post gigs parties were one man parties.

I've never played a gig sober. I can't imagine getting up on stage without drinking.....it's a fear thing for me.

My music career ended before I began recovery. I got worse with my problem once my music career ended. Eventually I sobered up, and became focused on my family & job.

I think it's important to note that I found a new creative outlet. I think creative people need to express themselves in some way... I found a new voice in woodworking. Instead of expressing myself in a nightclub, I now do it in my garage. It seems to go better with my sobriety.

This works for me. I know a couple of guys from AA who are sober and play in a band. They are amazing muscians. I am not envious because I have my own creative outlet, and I've outgrown the desire to gig.

I think if I were still gigging, and I wanted to start recovery, I would try to keep an open mind to do whatever I needed to do to recover. If it meant taking a break, I'd take a break. If it means bringing a sober friend to the gig, I'd do it.

I wish you all the best in your own journey.


chip