Hi redshift,
There's been lots of good things written here so far. I'm a former gigging musician.
My drinking and drug use seemed to go hand in hand with the lifestyle I thought I wanted. I slowly became a "chronic" pot smoker because I felt it helped me be creative and write music. I was very comfortable as an alcoholic playing in bars as the booze made me feel more confident etc...
Eventually, I couldn't write any more decent music. I began to have difficulty playing live as well. Gigs became a struggle for me to stay sober enough to play and drive home afterward. I was always the one who kept going and going at the post gig party.....often my post gigs parties were one man parties.
I've never played a gig sober. I can't imagine getting up on stage without drinking.....it's a fear thing for me.
My music career ended before I began recovery. I got worse with my problem once my music career ended. Eventually I sobered up, and became focused on my family & job.
I think it's important to note that I found a new creative outlet. I think creative people need to express themselves in some way... I found a new voice in woodworking. Instead of expressing myself in a nightclub, I now do it in my garage. It seems to go better with my sobriety.
This works for me. I know a couple of guys from AA who are sober and play in a band. They are amazing muscians. I am not envious because I have my own creative outlet, and I've outgrown the desire to gig.
I think if I were still gigging, and I wanted to start recovery, I would try to keep an open mind to do whatever I needed to do to recover. If it meant taking a break, I'd take a break. If it means bringing a sober friend to the gig, I'd do it.
I wish you all the best in your own journey.
chip