jemsgirl

Hi gang! I've been struggling with sobriety all summer - the best I did staying sober was in June when I went 30 days without alcohol. I think I have finally come to the realization that I can't do this on my own.
Here's the thing.....I am a child protection worker in a small community (60,000 people) and to openly admit to anyone (on a personal or professional level) that I am an addict would mean I would be sabotaging my career. This is the reason why attending AA groups in my community is not an option for me. I would be attending meetings with people who absolutely and completely despise me because of the involvement I have had with them through my job. It is for these reasons that attending AA meetings in my community would be very unsafe.
Are there any people here who are judges, counsellors, police officers, child protection workers, etc. etc. who have had similair experiences?
I think what I need is a safe person or people, in my community, who also need to keep their addiction issues hidden from people in their communities...I just have NO IDEA how to find them. I have called the local AA hotline and they don't know of anyone who could help. Any ideas or suggestions? I think I'm also going to post this message at the AA site.....I'm SO open to any and all suggestions.

Thanks everyone!

bubblze30

Hi my name is terri I am an addict and had my daughter taking away from me for two years. I am not a judge or worker or that but I do not despise her for taking my baby she helped me come to terms with my disese. What I want to say is they dont have to know you are an addict or alcholic just if any one asks say you are getting knowledge for your work or just observing. Goto open speaker meetings where it is alright to observe. that is what my worker did to get a feel of the alcholic or addict she was not one but had basiclly text book knowledge, so she attended them to learn. So maybe you can do it that way. Also if all else fails there are doctors lawyers and people just like you out there with this disese and they goto meetings without insidence, if you are seeking help you should get shunned. One more thing can you travel outside you area to a meeting maybe. All I know is if you want this recovery you cant do it on your on and I have and still know people that say the only way is with meetings and practicing the steps....Good luck and I wish you the best...



P.s I did get my daughter back and still have her today. Luck for me she got to stay with family. And because of meeting and the steps I got her back...

PianoGirl

Hi JemsGirl,

Have you thought about private counseling? Most local hospitals have counselers that work with their addiction units. I take private counseling with a woman who is trained to deal with addictions/panic disorder (and she's good for me, because she's a recovering alcoholic as well - 13 years, so she knows where I'm coming from). I'm not against AA, but it wasn't my "cup of tea", so I decided on private counseling to get to the bottom of some of my issues. I know it's not free like AA is, but if it is possible for you to do it, I have to say it's been of great help to me. They also have group sessions with just one or two people (not a big group), if you're looking for a smaller group to talk with. I prefer the one on one though. Anyway, I can understand the problem you're having, and I hope that you are able to find something to help you through this, whatever that may be. Best wishes to you.

PG

jemsgirl

Terri and Pianogirl, thank you so much for your quick reply. I have been struggling so much and I very much apprciate what both of you had to say.
I'm so glad your little one came home to you, Terri and also very glad she was able to stay with family. There is so much guilt and shame associated with this disease and I am so grateful this forum exists so I can learn from people who have had so much success with learning to stop using. I am tired of feeling guilty about the hypocrisy connected to my job and my addiction, (going to work and removing children from families with addiction issues and then coming home, knowing that I have an addiction issue). I also like your idea of travelling to another community to attend AA - I will look into that.
Pianogirl - it hadn't even occurred to me to seek private counselling, but this is where I am going to begin. I think it would be a safe place for me to start before finding the courage to attend an open meeting. I am so thankful that I have this place to come to!

Don W

Hi Gemsgirl, Welcome to the boards. I have known people in your position. If open meetings won't work many churches provide help. You could also contact your local AA Central Service, maybe they would have some ideas. I am sure there are also people on these boards with the same problem that can help. For now, I suggest you keep posting. You have already shown the desire and ability to stop.
You just have to work on staying stopped. Great job on the 30 days. Just use what worked then and add to it. Don w