i tried
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 320
i tried
ive posted several times on the mental and anxiety board, i have severe social anxiety, and since i quit drinking 13 months ago it has gotton progressively worse and worse.
last week i thought i should go to a meeting, and i hate driving anywhere by myself, but i thought i would try it, well i got there, and saw several people in front of the door, and immediately flipped a u turn and went home.
Yesterday, i tried it again, so i got there, walked in, which was sooo sooo difficult, but i got there, and it was an "as bill sees it" book meeting,...where they go around in the circle and everyone has to read a page. for one, i was 3rd in line to read, which i knew i couldnt do, but also the topic was "gratitude" and there was no way i was going to sit there and hear about how "happy" and "Thankful" they all are, when i am miserable, and pissed off that i cant drink.
so maybe i'll try again today idk
last week i thought i should go to a meeting, and i hate driving anywhere by myself, but i thought i would try it, well i got there, and saw several people in front of the door, and immediately flipped a u turn and went home.
Yesterday, i tried it again, so i got there, walked in, which was sooo sooo difficult, but i got there, and it was an "as bill sees it" book meeting,...where they go around in the circle and everyone has to read a page. for one, i was 3rd in line to read, which i knew i couldnt do, but also the topic was "gratitude" and there was no way i was going to sit there and hear about how "happy" and "Thankful" they all are, when i am miserable, and pissed off that i cant drink.
so maybe i'll try again today idk
To thine own self be true
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 756
Originally Posted by crzylilmndfreak 
ive posted several times on the mental and anxiety board, i have severe social anxiety, and since i quit drinking 13 months ago it has gotton progressively worse and worse.
last week i thought i should go to a meeting, and i hate driving anywhere by myself, but i thought i would try it, well i got there, and saw several people in front of the door, and immediately flipped a u turn and went home.
Yesterday, i tried it again, so i got there, walked in, which was sooo sooo difficult, but i got there, and it was an "as bill sees it" book meeting,...where they go around in the circle and everyone has to read a page. for one, i was 3rd in line to read, which i knew i couldnt do, but also the topic was "gratitude" and there was no way i was going to sit there and hear about how "happy" and "Thankful" they all are, when i am miserable, and pissed off that i cant drink.
so maybe i'll try again today
last week i thought i should go to a meeting, and i hate driving anywhere by myself, but i thought i would try it, well i got there, and saw several people in front of the door, and immediately flipped a u turn and went home.
Yesterday, i tried it again, so i got there, walked in, which was sooo sooo difficult, but i got there, and it was an "as bill sees it" book meeting,...where they go around in the circle and everyone has to read a page. for one, i was 3rd in line to read, which i knew i couldnt do, but also the topic was "gratitude" and there was no way i was going to sit there and hear about how "happy" and "Thankful" they all are, when i am miserable, and pissed off that i cant drink.
so maybe i'll try again today
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,243
Hi,
For starters congrats on your 13 months of sobriety!! That is a fantastic achievement. I don't know how familiar you are with meetings but in my local it is very normal to simply say "I would rather just listen today" in a meeting and everyone understands that. New people do it as well as people with many years of sobriety.
I also am selective about which meetings that I attend. Some of the meetings were more helpful at different points of my recovery and I just do not attend meetings that I am not comfortable with or do not seem to be beneficial to my recovery.
I don't know if I have helped any but I wanted to try and to congratulate you on your 13 months of sobriety.
Take Care
For starters congrats on your 13 months of sobriety!! That is a fantastic achievement. I don't know how familiar you are with meetings but in my local it is very normal to simply say "I would rather just listen today" in a meeting and everyone understands that. New people do it as well as people with many years of sobriety.
I also am selective about which meetings that I attend. Some of the meetings were more helpful at different points of my recovery and I just do not attend meetings that I am not comfortable with or do not seem to be beneficial to my recovery.
I don't know if I have helped any but I wanted to try and to congratulate you on your 13 months of sobriety.
Take Care
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,061
Originally Posted by Dime
I don't know how familiar you are with meetings but in my local it is very normal to simply say "I would rather just listen today" in a meeting and everyone understands that. New people do it as well as people with many years of sobriety.
I know what you mean, I couldn't stand how happy, thankful, grateful, yadee-yadee-yadda all those smiling AA'ers were when I was so damn miserable. But I stuck around until the miracle happened, and now I'm just as sick as them with that stupid smile on my face most of the time
The important thing is that you tried, and I hope you continue to take those strides until it sticks. Your 13 months is nothing to snivel at either, be proud of your accomplishment.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Southern Colorado
Posts: 1,167
Don't you hate graditude meetings?! I'd picked this up listening to knuckheads that sell AA tapes... well, maybe not knuckleheads, but... egotistical experts.
But I thought this was funny; "I'm grateful that God gave me a disease so chronic and deadly that my options are incarceration, losing my mind, death, and a lot of pain and suffering and wailing and knashing of teeth along the way... that the only way out is to seek... HIM."
You say that in one of those meetings and they're gonna say, "Keep coming back... yeah, like somewhere else."
To the OP, seriously though... maybe you need help outside of AA. I hope you find what you need and I wish I could help you better. Go well.
But I thought this was funny; "I'm grateful that God gave me a disease so chronic and deadly that my options are incarceration, losing my mind, death, and a lot of pain and suffering and wailing and knashing of teeth along the way... that the only way out is to seek... HIM."
You say that in one of those meetings and they're gonna say, "Keep coming back... yeah, like somewhere else."
To the OP, seriously though... maybe you need help outside of AA. I hope you find what you need and I wish I could help you better. Go well.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Of course....you made progress.....you got inside this time.
Perhaps asking your best friend to go with you would help.
I used to go shopping with a friend who had social anxiety.
Worked really well for Anne and I...
Congratulations on your 13 months.....
Perhaps asking your best friend to go with you would help.
I used to go shopping with a friend who had social anxiety.
Worked really well for Anne and I...
Congratulations on your 13 months.....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
"""when i am miserable, and pissed off that i cant drink""""
But thats exactly why i went to AA...
I felt like you but the room had happy people in it.......
Im thinking either this lot of bums are still drinking or its a cult......lol.
After a while i stopped grinding my teeth.....and people would sit next to me!!
A suggestion......wht dont you phone the local AA help line and explain the fear....would it be possible for a female member to take you to the meeting??
The next time they pass the book.....just pass it on.
or you could use the old....ive forgot my glasses routine.....
if your 13 months sober and your pissed off you cant drink.....i would strongly suggest aa twelve steps.
what you got to lose..............trucker
But thats exactly why i went to AA...
I felt like you but the room had happy people in it.......
Im thinking either this lot of bums are still drinking or its a cult......lol.
After a while i stopped grinding my teeth.....and people would sit next to me!!
A suggestion......wht dont you phone the local AA help line and explain the fear....would it be possible for a female member to take you to the meeting??
The next time they pass the book.....just pass it on.
or you could use the old....ive forgot my glasses routine.....
if your 13 months sober and your pissed off you cant drink.....i would strongly suggest aa twelve steps.
what you got to lose..............trucker
Living in sobriety
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,870
Sounds to me like you are making progress too. Sometimes its slow but you really are facing your fear by going. I think Carol made a great suggestion, ask a friend to go along with you. Check out your AA directory for diff type meetings eg step/ open/ beginners
Congrats on 13 months, thats great!!
Congrats on 13 months, thats great!!
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