Why do I have this Craving When...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 49
Why do I have this Craving When...
Ok, I dont get this. Over the past 2 weeks I have been trying my best to be good. In December, I broke my every day addiction and went 2 weeks sober. Then I was back at it 2-4 times a week. Over the past two weeks I caved and drank once a week (no, not in the car).
Now, I am working on 7 days sober again, but I am having SERIOUS problems. I am on call for work once every third week, and I happen to be on call this week. Since I got the work phone Monday, ALL I have wanted to do is binge. As soon as that phone hit my hand, it means I need to be sober, and for some reason that triggers me to want to drink badly. WHY!?
I normally would have stopped off after work at the liqour store when I had this sort of urgency. I gave it my all yesterday and today, and drove past the liqour stores and got onto the highway headed home to my new place out in the country, where there isnt a liquor store for miles. I feel safe from alcohol here, but holy flippin cow, I cant tell you how much I am craving that buzz right now.
Now, I am working on 7 days sober again, but I am having SERIOUS problems. I am on call for work once every third week, and I happen to be on call this week. Since I got the work phone Monday, ALL I have wanted to do is binge. As soon as that phone hit my hand, it means I need to be sober, and for some reason that triggers me to want to drink badly. WHY!?
I normally would have stopped off after work at the liqour store when I had this sort of urgency. I gave it my all yesterday and today, and drove past the liqour stores and got onto the highway headed home to my new place out in the country, where there isnt a liquor store for miles. I feel safe from alcohol here, but holy flippin cow, I cant tell you how much I am craving that buzz right now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
So, you've spent the last 4-5 months trying unsuccessfully to not drink? If, when you sincerely make an effort to not drink, you still end up drinking?
Sounds familiar. I made these weekly pledges/solemn oaths for a few years. They actually turned into daily pledges, but you get the idea. Fact was for me, I'm an alcoholic. And whenever I pieced together a few days or even several weeks of sober time, I always went back to it.
How bizarre! What made me do that? I mean, the physical addiction was gone. I knew full well the consequences of me starting to drink (little control over how much I drank, divorce, crashed cars, jails). Why would I pick up a drink again?
That's when the discussion in AA's Big Book about the mental obsession of that first drink started to make sense to me. That's when I saw the truth in the jaywalker example contained in that book.
Might be worth taking a look at.
Sounds familiar. I made these weekly pledges/solemn oaths for a few years. They actually turned into daily pledges, but you get the idea. Fact was for me, I'm an alcoholic. And whenever I pieced together a few days or even several weeks of sober time, I always went back to it.
How bizarre! What made me do that? I mean, the physical addiction was gone. I knew full well the consequences of me starting to drink (little control over how much I drank, divorce, crashed cars, jails). Why would I pick up a drink again?
That's when the discussion in AA's Big Book about the mental obsession of that first drink started to make sense to me. That's when I saw the truth in the jaywalker example contained in that book.
Might be worth taking a look at.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Colorado Springs CO
Posts: 889
Might help to pick up a copy of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" and read from the beginning through page 43. See if you can identify with anything in there. Pay special attention to the first 2 paragraphs on page 30.
To thine own self be true
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 756
Originally Posted by SexyCeloryStick 
Ok, I dont get this. Over the past 2 weeks I have been trying my best to be good. In December, I broke my every day addiction and went 2 weeks sober. Then I was back at it 2-4 times a week. Over the past two weeks I caved and drank once a week (no, not in the car).
Now, I am working on 7 days sober again, but I am having SERIOUS problems. I am on call for work once every third week, and I happen to be on call this week. Since I got the work phone Monday, ALL I have wanted to do is binge. As soon as that phone hit my hand, it means I need to be sober, and for some reason that triggers me to want to drink badly. WHY!?
I normally would have stopped off after work at the liqour store when I had this sort of urgency. I gave it my all yesterday and today, and drove past the liqour stores and got onto the highway headed home to my new place out in the country, where there isnt a liquor store for miles. I feel safe from alcohol here, but holy flippin cow, I cant tell you how much I am craving that buzz right now.
Now, I am working on 7 days sober again, but I am having SERIOUS problems. I am on call for work once every third week, and I happen to be on call this week. Since I got the work phone Monday, ALL I have wanted to do is binge. As soon as that phone hit my hand, it means I need to be sober, and for some reason that triggers me to want to drink badly. WHY!?
I normally would have stopped off after work at the liqour store when I had this sort of urgency. I gave it my all yesterday and today, and drove past the liqour stores and got onto the highway headed home to my new place out in the country, where there isnt a liquor store for miles. I feel safe from alcohol here, but holy flippin cow, I cant tell you how much I am craving that buzz right now.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
