lionking

I was almost 48 hours and then life hit me. I was taking ativan, all was ok. Then my 22 yr old basically said wft, i come home from college and i have to watch you stop drinking...so he spent the weekend with his dad.
then my exhusband (father of my 10 year old) brings her home and tells me that if he hears of one instance of my drinking he is taking my daughter from me. Lets not forget that he is a long time pot smoker, takes oxycotin (but has is prescribed and sells more than he takes and drinks alot himself).
my poor son left for college upset with me and God forgive me, i could not wait for him to go...i am still detoxing and just could not do this now, tomorrow maybe but not now and told him. he got mad.
so what do i do? what any self respectaning alcoholic would do...i bought wine. 2nd glass. I know i shouldnt but i do feel so sorry for myself. help me anyone! dont i deserve / need a few day repreive from the threats/guilts, etc. i do that to myself enough that i dont need any help, really i dont - not just now anyway, later on i say bring it but right now im struggling and just lost my struggle, damn it

sailorjohn

welcome!!!

Well there are a lot of self-respecting alcoholics here, and since we truly respect ourselves today, we would choose not to do what you chose to. BTW, I am perfectly capable of feeling sorry for myself without drinking. Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.

lionking

i guess i wish i could just talk to someone....im on my 3 rd glass now. hopefully my last. i just feel so darn angry that they want to put this and pull this on my now...give me at leat 3 days, maybe 48 hours.....dont bombard me cause i am like a baby, i need to be all to myslef........

Dime

Welcome lionking,

Those first few days are tough indeed but when we get through them it gets a lot easier. I hope you are not taking ativan with alcohol, save them for detox. Did you get any phone numbers from the AA meeting? That phone might weigh a hundred pounds but it is worth picking up and making the call. Those people understand, really do care and will help. Please get some help.

CarolD

Many of us had false starts on our way to solid sobriety.
Monday is a good day to begin again...hope you will...

CAPTAINZING2000

I tended to woller around more in my misery when, drinking then when, I was drinking. The difference of many years not drinking, I believe in myself today. I know your pain of going through a divorce.

Do not use Ativan if you are allergic to lorazepam or to other benzodiazepines, such as alprazolam (Xanax), chlordiazepoxide (Librium), clorazepate (Tranxene), diazepam (Valium), or oxazepam (Serax). This medication can cause birth defects in an unborn baby. Do not use Ativan if you are pregnant.

Before taking Ativan, tell your doctor if you have any breathing problems, glaucoma, kidney or liver disease, or a history of depression, suicidal thoughts, or addiction to drugs or alcohol.


Anytime, I took drugs and alcohol together, the end results were very bad.

Does your Dr. know you abuse alcohol? Drinking was an escape for many of us, trouble is, it created more depression then what, we already were facing.

If, I cut myself with a knife, my reaction wouldn't be to get a bigger knife and cut myself more.

Have you ever entertained the idea of going to AA ?

Zencat

Welcome to the process of getting clean Lionking. You have started it here tonight as well as elsewhere...yes? Please continue.

Dean62

Thank you for taking the time to open up and share with us.

You helped me for one and I'm sure others too.

Lynxster

All my life I have thought of alcohol as a tool I could use to deal with stress and anxiety. Only problem, when I reflect back on those times, I can't think of a single time when drinking solved any of my problems. Always just made me more stressed in the end. For me, I have had to develop a new way of thinking, a mindset that alcohol is no longer one of my options for dealing with stress.

When sober, I CAN (and you CAN too) control whether you chose to take that first drink. I quit kidding myself that I can drink one or two and stop, but as long as I don't take that first one, I'm okay. Stress and anxiety are still problems for me, I am not yet good at dealing with it yet either. For now I just come here to SR and read a lot of posts and I try to work at least a little everyday on the things that are causing me stress.

I hope you stop soon and for good, you already know its not going to help you or solve any of your problems. Good luck today and keep posting.

Kallista

If you quit using, you would get a reprieve from "the threats/guilt."

lionking

Thanks, all. I was such a jerk. I didnt wait before I decided to give in.....next time I will give it a better shot. Thats all for now.

nelco

Hope you get the help you need to stay stopped next time. We all need support. keep posting while you try. Maybe you read just what you need to hear.

lionking

i did not get any numbers, except from my bf's ex girl friend and today he is my my ex bf...lol, complicate but not really. i will go to a meeting this week. i almost made it to bedtime today, so close....dont give up peeps cause im almost there...

lionking

and just to let everyone know, i never take drugs and drink also, alcohol is is my DofC....not mixing for me.....

nelco

keep on posting and next time you go to a meeting get talking to some strong members. Get some numbers, ask for help. get literature etc...Its worth it.