What do you do to encourage yourself?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: A van...down by the river!
Posts: 108
What do you do to encourage yourself?
Hey there,
I got to thinking (again!)....what are some of the ways you guys have found to help yourself out of a slump when you get down? Since I am such a big music lover, I've found that music helps me a lot when I get in a bad mood. To be definite, there's 2 certain songs that really cheer me up. One by James Taylor that I can listen to that always puts me in a better frame of mind. It's called "You've got a friend", and the other is called, "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now", by The Smiths (you Moz fans will know this one!). There's something about the words and the tune that always put a smile on my face! What helps you? A certain song, a person, a food, a movie??? I've got the ball rolling, now it's your turn!!!! It'll be cool to see what helps everyone get through their tough moments of the day/week now(besides our old standbye, alcohol).
PG
I got to thinking (again!)....what are some of the ways you guys have found to help yourself out of a slump when you get down? Since I am such a big music lover, I've found that music helps me a lot when I get in a bad mood. To be definite, there's 2 certain songs that really cheer me up. One by James Taylor that I can listen to that always puts me in a better frame of mind. It's called "You've got a friend", and the other is called, "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now", by The Smiths (you Moz fans will know this one!). There's something about the words and the tune that always put a smile on my face! What helps you? A certain song, a person, a food, a movie??? I've got the ball rolling, now it's your turn!!!! It'll be cool to see what helps everyone get through their tough moments of the day/week now(besides our old standbye, alcohol).
PG
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Gosh! So many
things....
When I feel blue.....I do some or all of these....
Put on jazzy music..sing and dance around the room
Pray....Take a bubble bath...Go for a walk
Cook Chili.....Read the Big Book or Bible
Spray on perfume, slather on make up, wear red
Eat Ice Cream....Call a friend....Go to an AA meeting
Thanks for asking PG
When I feel blue.....I do some or all of these....
Put on jazzy music..sing and dance around the room
Pray....Take a bubble bath...Go for a walk
Cook Chili.....Read the Big Book or Bible
Spray on perfume, slather on make up, wear red
Eat Ice Cream....Call a friend....Go to an AA meeting
Thanks for asking PG
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Basement
Posts: 724
I know this may sound wierd, but I sit in it, and have faith that this too shall pass.
When I was using, and really all my life, I was under some kind of delusion that I had to be happy all of the time. You know, one big party...or else something was very wrong. In the end of my using, the drugs and alcohol consisted of little recipes based on what mood I wanted to be in at the time. Life on lifes terms was a hard lesson but one that I try to embrace now.
In recovery, I learned that it's OK not to feel so good, it's OK to feel sad. Evidence has shown me that it always gets better and sometimes there's even a lesson to be learned in there somewhere.
Further along in my recovery I was able to take inventory and determine why I felt bad. Sometimes making amends made me feel better and sometimes just the fact that I experienced some personal growth was enough.
It's also a great excuse to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's
When I was using, and really all my life, I was under some kind of delusion that I had to be happy all of the time. You know, one big party...or else something was very wrong. In the end of my using, the drugs and alcohol consisted of little recipes based on what mood I wanted to be in at the time. Life on lifes terms was a hard lesson but one that I try to embrace now.
In recovery, I learned that it's OK not to feel so good, it's OK to feel sad. Evidence has shown me that it always gets better and sometimes there's even a lesson to be learned in there somewhere.
Further along in my recovery I was able to take inventory and determine why I felt bad. Sometimes making amends made me feel better and sometimes just the fact that I experienced some personal growth was enough.
It's also a great excuse to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's
JUST FOR TODAY
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Lowell, MA
Posts: 104
Just doing something good for myself helps me to get out of the funk. But for me right now, the best way for me is to call my sponsor, or another alcoholic and or get to a meeting. Sometimes I even come to this site or a couple others and check out what is going on. Sometimes for me, helping another alcoholic, or another alcoholic helping me, picks me up a lot.
Harry
Harry
Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: California
Posts: 233
Do a gratitude list. I'm grateful to be sober today. I'm grateful that the rent is paid, that I have a job, that I'm not angry anymore, and that I'm realitively healthy. Start thinking of the things that you have rather than the things hyou dont have. The list is endless.
I like cake
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 34
Cool thread...
First off, if I'm down, I sit (or stand) and try to identify exactly WHAT it is that I'm down about. It's usually not immediately obvious and I'm only now learning to identify my feelings.... before, they were all just labelled UNCOMFORTABLE and that was when (all the time, practically) I would self-anaesthetise and bury my head in the sand, avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid. Now, I can tell the difference between bored, frustrated, afraid, lonely, sad, depressed and empty (and some others) and act appropriately. Or more appropriately than before. Progress not perfection...
Sometimes I can't do anything but sit with the feeling and remember 'this too shall pass'. Other times there's some action I can take to alleviate my internal pressure - for example, if I'm worried about not having a job, I can DO something like make some phone calls, write some letters. I also examine my conscience to see if there's anything I've put off doing that might be hanging over my head that I can do and have the pressure lifted. Usually there's SOMETHING because I'm not the most organised person in the world. If I'm bored, well, I shouldn't be because there's TONNES of stuff on my mental 'to do' list and it's just a matter of me making a conscious effort to remember them. If I am afraid, I look at what and why and pray for guidance over the right thing to do. I call friends and share my worries. I take an interest in other people - that takes my mind off myself for a while and nine times out of ten I end up laughing and - pow - my mood is lifted.
The hardest one is depression and the lethargy that goes along with it. I know now to keep busy, busy, busy and plan stuff for those times, stuff I can't get out of doing easily, like seeing a friend. My friends are great and help me plan things that I need to do and we agree a time by which I'll do them. Usually we never mention it again because I did it - having people monitoring me (in a small sense) helps me keep my mind on what needs to be done as it has a tendancy to wander and it usually wanders back to bad thinking and memories that are doing me no good. It helps me keep everything in the day anyway.
If I examine my life and my mind and there's really nothing else that I can do, I put some upbeat music on - Belle & Sebastian or McAlmont & Bulter or Mull Historical Society - and settle down to do some writing. That always helps. The first 5 minutes I write a load of old baloney, then the meat of what's troubling me, if anything, is coming out. I often have some useful insight when writing. I do all of this, keep on doing it and do it again.
Then
I go to a meeting :shades:
By the end of the day, I've come out of my mood and have quite a few nice things to put on my gratitude list.
I just reread all that and I'm thinking - wow! Before March 26th, I just blotted out everything bad or good. All these opportunities to grow and learn and develop.... and I was so afraid of life that I dared not engage in it. Now... I have TOOLS! I have healthy ways of coping! I didn't appreciate how much till now. More things to be grateful for. My cup just runneth over...
I always count my blessings before I go to bed, after I pray and say thank you to my higher power. I CAN'T feel blue when I do that, for my life is so beautiful since I got sober.
20 weeks tomorrow! Huzzah for me!
Nic
x
First off, if I'm down, I sit (or stand) and try to identify exactly WHAT it is that I'm down about. It's usually not immediately obvious and I'm only now learning to identify my feelings.... before, they were all just labelled UNCOMFORTABLE and that was when (all the time, practically) I would self-anaesthetise and bury my head in the sand, avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid. Now, I can tell the difference between bored, frustrated, afraid, lonely, sad, depressed and empty (and some others) and act appropriately. Or more appropriately than before. Progress not perfection...
Sometimes I can't do anything but sit with the feeling and remember 'this too shall pass'. Other times there's some action I can take to alleviate my internal pressure - for example, if I'm worried about not having a job, I can DO something like make some phone calls, write some letters. I also examine my conscience to see if there's anything I've put off doing that might be hanging over my head that I can do and have the pressure lifted. Usually there's SOMETHING because I'm not the most organised person in the world. If I'm bored, well, I shouldn't be because there's TONNES of stuff on my mental 'to do' list and it's just a matter of me making a conscious effort to remember them. If I am afraid, I look at what and why and pray for guidance over the right thing to do. I call friends and share my worries. I take an interest in other people - that takes my mind off myself for a while and nine times out of ten I end up laughing and - pow - my mood is lifted.
The hardest one is depression and the lethargy that goes along with it. I know now to keep busy, busy, busy and plan stuff for those times, stuff I can't get out of doing easily, like seeing a friend. My friends are great and help me plan things that I need to do and we agree a time by which I'll do them. Usually we never mention it again because I did it - having people monitoring me (in a small sense) helps me keep my mind on what needs to be done as it has a tendancy to wander and it usually wanders back to bad thinking and memories that are doing me no good. It helps me keep everything in the day anyway.
If I examine my life and my mind and there's really nothing else that I can do, I put some upbeat music on - Belle & Sebastian or McAlmont & Bulter or Mull Historical Society - and settle down to do some writing. That always helps. The first 5 minutes I write a load of old baloney, then the meat of what's troubling me, if anything, is coming out. I often have some useful insight when writing. I do all of this, keep on doing it and do it again.
Then
I go to a meeting :shades:
By the end of the day, I've come out of my mood and have quite a few nice things to put on my gratitude list.
I just reread all that and I'm thinking - wow! Before March 26th, I just blotted out everything bad or good. All these opportunities to grow and learn and develop.... and I was so afraid of life that I dared not engage in it. Now... I have TOOLS! I have healthy ways of coping! I didn't appreciate how much till now. More things to be grateful for. My cup just runneth over...
I always count my blessings before I go to bed, after I pray and say thank you to my higher power. I CAN'T feel blue when I do that, for my life is so beautiful since I got sober.
20 weeks tomorrow! Huzzah for me!
Nic
x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: NJ
Posts: 12
Piano Girl:
Yes! "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now!" Great song to put things in perspective and know things aren't really that bad..."I was looking for a job and then I FOUND a job..." My old band used to cover that. I also like "Hooligan", a course.
Along the lines of James Taylor, I also like Cat Stevens. "I Think I See the Light" It's a great song.
Another thing: Bike riding! When I ride, Sometimes I pretend that I'm a kid again and I just let my baggage go. It really works.
c
Yes! "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now!" Great song to put things in perspective and know things aren't really that bad..."I was looking for a job and then I FOUND a job..." My old band used to cover that. I also like "Hooligan", a course.
Along the lines of James Taylor, I also like Cat Stevens. "I Think I See the Light" It's a great song.
Another thing: Bike riding! When I ride, Sometimes I pretend that I'm a kid again and I just let my baggage go. It really works.
c
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: A van...down by the river!
Posts: 108
Cool
Charlotte,
Good to hear from some Smith's fans. "Hooligan" is good as well. "The Sanest Days Are Mad", is a AWESOME song! Morrissey/Smiths always cheer me up for some reason (even though most of their songs are about depressing things (I guess sometimes it makes you feel good just to wallow in it too! ha ha).
Magic Rabbit, congrats on your 20 weeks! You and I are running almost neck and neck. I'm 15 weeks. I'm very happy for you. Oh, happy day!
Thanks to everyone for your encouraging responses! Keep them coming....
PG :p
Good to hear from some Smith's fans. "Hooligan" is good as well. "The Sanest Days Are Mad", is a AWESOME song! Morrissey/Smiths always cheer me up for some reason (even though most of their songs are about depressing things (I guess sometimes it makes you feel good just to wallow in it too! ha ha).
Magic Rabbit, congrats on your 20 weeks! You and I are running almost neck and neck. I'm 15 weeks. I'm very happy for you. Oh, happy day!
Thanks to everyone for your encouraging responses! Keep them coming....
PG :p
I like cake
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 34
15 weeks, Piano Girl.... you got sober the day i was released into the world after my 6 weeks in rehab.... May 7th... in some ways I count that as a sobriety date as well as March 26th because it was the first time I was truly responsible for not drinking and I was out of my safe cocoon, away from my counsellors and fellow inmates.
It was a Wednesday and I felt SO tired, like I'd been running a marathon as I made my way back to my old home... a new girl learning to cope with old triggers and old scenarios.
Music.... as well as the ones I mentioned, some other stuff triggers memories that can jerk me out of a blah mood...
ABBA make me think of being a little girl
Teenage Fanclub is me two years ago before my dive headlong into my last rampant 18 months of alcoholism
Charlatans reminds me of my dead cat - in a happy, but slightly melancholy way
Carpenters and anything from 1990 - and I'm 16 again and beginning my dive headlong into anorexia
(yes, i realise these are all not good memories really, but they do take my mind off present day woe!!!)
Judy Garland and I'm 11 and compulsively over-watching MGM 40s musicals
Spice Girls and I'm in mid 1996, beginning the best year of my life to date (OK, it also marked the beginning of my drinking problem but it was all good stuff still. I was always Sporty. I could KICK)
Bernard Butler - very happy memories of earlier this year, in between mad alcohol blackout when I was drugged up on Librium and mincing in a drama queen fashion with my lovely boy of then... to BB and David McAlmont's Falling. Marvellous
Badly Drawn Boy... more memories of the lovely boy. I felt very cared for in my haze. Have You Fed The Fish Today.... there are some appropriate lines to me, or so I felt: You've got to rewind to go forward, there's some good times around the corner... even in my pre March 26th days, I had a glimmer of hope that MAYBE this was MY time...
Alanis Morrissette Jagged Little Pill... it's vicious in places, good revenge music but also reminds me of a time of fresh, pure love. Nice warm memories.
I could go on...
ALL Belle & Sebastian but especially Storytelling.... magic.
Happy days are here again!
Nic
x
It was a Wednesday and I felt SO tired, like I'd been running a marathon as I made my way back to my old home... a new girl learning to cope with old triggers and old scenarios.
Music.... as well as the ones I mentioned, some other stuff triggers memories that can jerk me out of a blah mood...
ABBA make me think of being a little girl
Teenage Fanclub is me two years ago before my dive headlong into my last rampant 18 months of alcoholism
Charlatans reminds me of my dead cat - in a happy, but slightly melancholy way
Carpenters and anything from 1990 - and I'm 16 again and beginning my dive headlong into anorexia
(yes, i realise these are all not good memories really, but they do take my mind off present day woe!!!)
Judy Garland and I'm 11 and compulsively over-watching MGM 40s musicals
Spice Girls and I'm in mid 1996, beginning the best year of my life to date (OK, it also marked the beginning of my drinking problem but it was all good stuff still. I was always Sporty. I could KICK)
Bernard Butler - very happy memories of earlier this year, in between mad alcohol blackout when I was drugged up on Librium and mincing in a drama queen fashion with my lovely boy of then... to BB and David McAlmont's Falling. Marvellous
Badly Drawn Boy... more memories of the lovely boy. I felt very cared for in my haze. Have You Fed The Fish Today.... there are some appropriate lines to me, or so I felt: You've got to rewind to go forward, there's some good times around the corner... even in my pre March 26th days, I had a glimmer of hope that MAYBE this was MY time...
Alanis Morrissette Jagged Little Pill... it's vicious in places, good revenge music but also reminds me of a time of fresh, pure love. Nice warm memories.
I could go on...
ALL Belle & Sebastian but especially Storytelling.... magic.
Happy days are here again!
Nic
x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: A van...down by the river!
Posts: 108
Thanks Chy and Magic Rabbit! You're right Chy, praying is something I do too when I get down. It works wonders. 
Magic, almost any song from the 80's can cheer me up! It reminds me of when I was a kid. My favorite is the British pop groups like Duran Duran and Depeche Mode. The Cure is AWESOME (Another mood lifter. "In Between Days", and "Just Like Heaven"). Anything by the Cure will cheer me up. Alanis Morrisette is really good too. If you like her songs you should try Fiona Apple - she's got some good soul searching songs. This one song called "Shadowboxer" is outstanding! Also, Tori Amos and Sarah McLachlan. As you can tell I'm a HUGGGEE music fan. I could go on and on and on about what music cheers me up! Playing music is helpful too. I can always play a few tunes on my piano and feel uplifted. It's a way to let your emotions come out in other expressions.
And it's ok for music to bring back certain emotions. It's like one of the old Smith's songs that goes, "Don't forget the songs that made you cry, and the songs that saved your life. Yes, you're older now, and you're a clever swine. But, they were the only ones that ever stood by you".
Take care!
PG
:band
Magic, almost any song from the 80's can cheer me up! It reminds me of when I was a kid. My favorite is the British pop groups like Duran Duran and Depeche Mode. The Cure is AWESOME (Another mood lifter. "In Between Days", and "Just Like Heaven"). Anything by the Cure will cheer me up. Alanis Morrisette is really good too. If you like her songs you should try Fiona Apple - she's got some good soul searching songs. This one song called "Shadowboxer" is outstanding! Also, Tori Amos and Sarah McLachlan. As you can tell I'm a HUGGGEE music fan. I could go on and on and on about what music cheers me up! Playing music is helpful too. I can always play a few tunes on my piano and feel uplifted. It's a way to let your emotions come out in other expressions.
And it's ok for music to bring back certain emotions. It's like one of the old Smith's songs that goes, "Don't forget the songs that made you cry, and the songs that saved your life. Yes, you're older now, and you're a clever swine. But, they were the only ones that ever stood by you".
Take care!
PG
:band
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Too much
of anything isn't good. If I'm in a funk it's usually because I'm bored with the same routine stuff so I change something. I've found I can even get too involved in doing AA things. I try to remember AA, work, love and play. I strive for a balance.
It may sound selfish but I've learned that if I get so involved with things outside me and forget to be good to me, I get a resentment. So, I'm good to me and it seems the other things fall into place just fine.
It may sound selfish but I've learned that if I get so involved with things outside me and forget to be good to me, I get a resentment. So, I'm good to me and it seems the other things fall into place just fine.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Basement
Posts: 724
Great post Music. Balance is so key!!!! I guess that can refer to HALT. My sponsor always told me to make sure I don't ever get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. That has really helped me especially because I tend to do everything in extremes. Moderation has been my new years resolution for as long as I can remember and I vowed to keep it as my resolution until I get it right.
With 3 small kids I can tend to forget about down time. I rarely get it but I make sure to make the time just for me. I don't think that sounds selfish. I think it's healthy.
With 3 small kids I can tend to forget about down time. I rarely get it but I make sure to make the time just for me. I don't think that sounds selfish. I think it's healthy.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Hi Steph,
You wrote:
"With 3 small kids I can tend to forget about down time. I rarely get it but I make sure to make the time just for me. I don't think that sounds selfish. I think it's healthy."
Especially with kids it seems like we get so wrapped up in doing this and that, we forget to take that special time and then sometimes explode over the smallest thing and hurt one of them. I agree that taking that time is healthy, not only for you but for the kids also.
You wrote:
"With 3 small kids I can tend to forget about down time. I rarely get it but I make sure to make the time just for me. I don't think that sounds selfish. I think it's healthy."
Especially with kids it seems like we get so wrapped up in doing this and that, we forget to take that special time and then sometimes explode over the smallest thing and hurt one of them. I agree that taking that time is healthy, not only for you but for the kids also.
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