Wisconsin_Al

My sponsor said .. “The good news is you know you’re an alcoholic and doing something about it .. The bad news is your problems go way beyond alcohol”

Well truer words never spoke. I was in a situation this weekend where, in the past, I would allow obsessive thinking to send me into another drunk. There I would create catastrophes in my mind of how bad the situation would become. I would allow it to ruin my weekend (and my wife’s) and cause at least two big drunks to occur.

So what did I do instead?

1 – Prayer
2 – Meetings
3 – Talk to people
4 – Prayed for the courage to change that which I can
5 – Knowing that there was nothing I could do until Monday I focussed on fun stuff with my wife.

So today I addressed the two issues that upset me.

First was a house issue that needed attention. I got to the local Cenex at 6:30am and got what I needed, spoke about how to fix it and by noon it was fixed. So why was I upset?

Second was my concern that I had somehow fallen out of favor with my manager. So I discussed with him my concerns and explained why I thought this way. He assured me no such thing was happening but said he understood why I thought this based on the facts I had. So turns out to be a non-issue. So why was I upset?

I avoided a trap, the poor pitiful me trap. And because of this I did not get drunk.

Now I did worry but at least I did not drink. Maybe one day I will not worry

Doug

Wisc. Al,

Thank you for sharing that, that is a clear demonstration of itworking!

I had to practice that many times before it became the way I handle stuff now, and still, on occasion, a big issue that feels like a real whopper comes along, and the old reaction will come first.

It still impresses me though, how easy it can be when I try. And how the results usually turn out better and less painful than I thought or expected.

Thanks again.

Don W

Hi Wisc. Al, Welcome to the boards. Boy oh boy do you hit the nail on the head. I would decide what others were thinking about me and have whole arguements in my head. Sometimes I would think so poorly of myself I was sure others had the same thoughts. I feel that obsessive thinling is one of the biggest dangers to my recovery. And if I don't do as you did, or in some way stop them I will end up either drinking or so misserable that I might
as well drink. Have you ever rehersed a hole argument in your head? Otr went back to one that happened years ago and got so angry that it was like it happened yesterday? That happened this week end. I was tring to get to sleep and thought of an argument my ex wife and I had about 15 years ago. Well, by the time I got done with I should have said this and that I wanted to call and fight with her. This is why like you said it is important to get help for the other than alcohol problems. All I can say is that being off alcohol I am finding my mind some strange territory.
Keep posting and hang in there. Don W

Wisconsin_Al

Don

Me? Rehearse arguments in my head? Oh Pleeeease I consider myself the King of “Holding Arguments With No One There”.

You would think if no one was there I would win the arguments, but somehow I always lost.

I would re-argue a situation from work and make it worse than it was. I would create situations that never happened. I would create people that never existed (i.e. convinced someone would be hired to replace me and argue with them). I argued fantasizes, like if I started a business and if I had a partner then we would fight over such and such.

These arguments would go for hours. I was always the type that when alone in a bar would sit alone. You would see the occasional muttering, as the arguments in my head would spill out. I got some strange looks for those.

I would walk around the house arms flailing and loud talking as I acted the arguments out.

And then when I would finally fall asleep from drink I would wake in the middle of the night with the same argument still going on. Some of my worse drunks were during these arguments.

And so it went. But now they have subsided to such a point that I can face them and deal with them. Often they never start. And all this happened while I did my 90 in 90. Somehow while I was focussed on not drinking God removed this insanity. Step 2 in all its glory.

thanks