Do any of you know someone who quit for a while and then could manage drinking again?
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Tejas
Posts: 192
Originally Posted by ian_g 
Hmm...I take I said back sober theoretically speaking could mean moderation.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Philly and NYC
Posts: 220
Originally Posted by southwalian
Dee - without going into details, my drinking is a symptom of other problems - the reason I know I can control it is because when I am in control of my other issues I have never had a drink problem in the sense that some others here have.
I'm here because I find it helps.
Does that make sense?
I'm here because I find it helps.
Does that make sense?
Lack 'a' power
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 88
My sister demanded her 4 year token for sobriety at an AA meeting. She still smokes pot and personally it ain't my buisness but in my opinion she is not sober. My sponser always says what ever your consience lets you live with.
I'm very careful with that one.
People who drink and come to meetings does not bother me. My concern is always the newcomer who is really struggling and gets mixed messages. Next thing you know meetings wiil have a wet bar set up for people who can drink in moderation. :wtf2
I'm very careful with that one.
People who drink and come to meetings does not bother me. My concern is always the newcomer who is really struggling and gets mixed messages. Next thing you know meetings wiil have a wet bar set up for people who can drink in moderation. :wtf2
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 43
Ian
I'm not bipolar - possibly borderline - and have a history of problems with rejection - rejection leads to self medicating - over the past 5 years or so has meant a lot of alcohol - now I am in a relationship - the need to drink seems to have gone but more to do with being brought to my senses. I don't feel the need to drink. Period.
Was I/am I and alcoholic? By some definitions yes. By yours? Probably not.
My need to recover may be down to getting out of the habit - I really don't know - but for me moderate drinking makes total sense.
And surely all of us who have abused alcohol in the past can tolerate each others individualism and indeed help each other in our strive for a healthier lifestyle.
I'm not bipolar - possibly borderline - and have a history of problems with rejection - rejection leads to self medicating - over the past 5 years or so has meant a lot of alcohol - now I am in a relationship - the need to drink seems to have gone but more to do with being brought to my senses. I don't feel the need to drink. Period.
Was I/am I and alcoholic? By some definitions yes. By yours? Probably not.
My need to recover may be down to getting out of the habit - I really don't know - but for me moderate drinking makes total sense.
And surely all of us who have abused alcohol in the past can tolerate each others individualism and indeed help each other in our strive for a healthier lifestyle.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
Originally Posted by southwalian
Dee - without going into details, my drinking is a symptom of other problems - the reason I know I can control it is because when I am in control of my other issues I have never had a drink problem in the sense that some others here have.
I'm here because I find it helps.
Does that make sense?
I'm here because I find it helps.
Does that make sense?
I started drinking to deal with a mess of other issues - some physical some emotional - but for me, eventually, my drinking came to dwarf them all.
I got to the point where every drink was no longer *helping*, it was exacerbating everything else. Genetics or learned behaviour I'm not sure - both I think - but I became an alcoholic.
Once I removed the drink, I could finally get to work on the underlying stuff.
Like Bugs said, I think time away from a drink makes the truth much more obvious...certainly clearer in my case.
I should have sought appropriate professional help. Instead I self medicated.
I don't believe I can return to normal drinking, but I admit I have no desire to try either.
My experimenting days are over. Living sober works great for me.
I hope you find your way - and lasting control for your other issues - soon, Sw
D
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 1,924
Originally Posted by sfgirl
Rufus—
When I first was reading your response, I thought why does it seem like he feels such a threat? If he is happy in his own abstinence why can't controlled drinkers or people who attempt at controlled drinking exist along side you? It sort of reminded me of religious zealots who were not happy in only their own conversion but needed to control the masses.
However, when I kept reading, I think that I get it partly. Part of the threat, not to you currently, but to the wet alcoholic drinker or some alcoholic drinkers, is that controlled drinking supports the addict voice. It gives them a validation outside of themselves that they can still drink, they don't have to give it up. And so to introduce that idea is to validate everything that you think steers people in the wrong direction. However, this is the thing. How many of us here could never drink with control? Well, I could not. Ok, so I am not interested in moderation now. Over that hurdle. However, I don't fear its introduction. In fact I think in the harm reduction model it actually is used to get people to the abstinence stage. I think I understand the perceived threat but at the same time I still think that in a way requiring absolute abstinence of someone is forcing your way, especially in the beginning. I think if there were more models of quitting more people would be more apt to try. Perhaps if controlled drinking gained some speed, people would attempt it more often, and if built into the system a sort of "if you fail you must abstain" clause existed, it might even get more people to your and well actually my side of the fence. It just has never existed in this way so how can we make any sort of judgments about it?
When I first was reading your response, I thought why does it seem like he feels such a threat? If he is happy in his own abstinence why can't controlled drinkers or people who attempt at controlled drinking exist along side you? It sort of reminded me of religious zealots who were not happy in only their own conversion but needed to control the masses.
However, when I kept reading, I think that I get it partly. Part of the threat, not to you currently, but to the wet alcoholic drinker or some alcoholic drinkers, is that controlled drinking supports the addict voice. It gives them a validation outside of themselves that they can still drink, they don't have to give it up. And so to introduce that idea is to validate everything that you think steers people in the wrong direction. However, this is the thing. How many of us here could never drink with control? Well, I could not. Ok, so I am not interested in moderation now. Over that hurdle. However, I don't fear its introduction. In fact I think in the harm reduction model it actually is used to get people to the abstinence stage. I think I understand the perceived threat but at the same time I still think that in a way requiring absolute abstinence of someone is forcing your way, especially in the beginning. I think if there were more models of quitting more people would be more apt to try. Perhaps if controlled drinking gained some speed, people would attempt it more often, and if built into the system a sort of "if you fail you must abstain" clause existed, it might even get more people to your and well actually my side of the fence. It just has never existed in this way so how can we make any sort of judgments about it?
Well put sfgirl. I do not know when I lost control, though I do know that the slide toward loss of control was consistent with my increased intake; much like the Jellinick curve, up I went and down I came.
I am a advocate of drink until you are full. I get seriously scathing retorts that paint me as a heartless slug for this take; it is how I finally got sober.
For another take, please read the analysis of one of the older RAND reports on controlled drinking. Best to you!!
southwalian,
I have no problem with your stance nor with your drinking.
"My drinking is a symptom of other problems - the reason I know I can control it is because "when" I am in control of my other issues I have never had a drink problem in the sense that some others here have."
Drink or not, best to you!
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Lincoln
Posts: 201
Southwalian I hope you continue to post on this forum I can relate what you are saying. By Ian_gs definition and the big books definition of an alcoholic I'm probably not one. Which is fair enough, I'm not arguing with it
What's an alcoholic or not seems to be subjective.
But I certainly have drinking problem that's for sure. According to:
my doctor I'm an alcoholic
the big book I'm not an alcoholic
the community alcohol team I'm alcohol dependent
the hospital I'm a chronic alcoholic
LOL!
Agree that AA and other abstinence based groups should be for people whose goal is abstinence.
But their should be help whose goal is controlled drinking.
People can advise, gave their personal experience but ultimately for successful treatment its up to the person with the drink problem to decide.
Ps Ian what's that white blob on your shoulder is it your higher power! LOL!
Hope everybody finds serenity how ever you do it
What's an alcoholic or not seems to be subjective.
But I certainly have drinking problem that's for sure. According to:
my doctor I'm an alcoholic
the big book I'm not an alcoholic
the community alcohol team I'm alcohol dependent
the hospital I'm a chronic alcoholic
LOL!
Agree that AA and other abstinence based groups should be for people whose goal is abstinence.
But their should be help whose goal is controlled drinking.
People can advise, gave their personal experience but ultimately for successful treatment its up to the person with the drink problem to decide.
Ps Ian what's that white blob on your shoulder is it your higher power! LOL!
Hope everybody finds serenity how ever you do it
Lack 'a' power
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 88
All I know is 14 years ago the police found me behind a dumpster with a bottle in one hand and a needle in the other. I spent a year in a rehab and haven't found it necessary to drink or use since. AA saved my life. And my spiritual growth did not stop in AA, it started there.
So Doorknob ? Your saying that nobody has caught that error after 4 editions?
So Doorknob ? Your saying that nobody has caught that error after 4 editions?
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Originally Posted by chris1959
So Doorknob ? Your saying that nobody has caught that error after 4 editions?
The Survival of a Fitting Quotation
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