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Do any of you know someone who quit for a while and then could manage drinking again?



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Do any of you know someone who quit for a while and then could manage drinking again?

Old 03-01-2009, 09:37 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Not me, and not anyone I know of..
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Old 03-01-2009, 10:27 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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not i either
to me it seems like you would make an excuse for the one drink you take, then you continue to make excuses for every following drink, which ends up being more and more....
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Old 03-01-2009, 10:49 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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It sounds like this is something that a lot of alchoholics have tried and failed. I have recently acknowledged that I have a drinking problem. I have not hit any huge lows, but recently felt the physical effects of alcohol. The binge drinking has started to cause me problems. I have now twice suffered from dehydration and liver pain. These new feelings really scare me and have caused me to reevaluate my drinking. I am currently reading as much as I can and will not drink for at least a month. At the end of a month I may try to drink moderately, but if it does not work, then I will quit for good. I have not decided and will not decide until I hit my 30 day mark and see how I feel. The reality is that if I truly have a drinking problem, then I probably will not be able to do it. I have decided that I can not and will not binge drink anymore. Besides all of the other reasons, I just can't handle the physical problems and withdrawals that come along with it. I am new to this and have never tried quitting before and never wanted to. Now I either have to quit completely or learn to drink responsibly. Again, I don't have any misconceptions and will continue to learn and not drink and see how things go.
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Old 03-01-2009, 11:02 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Pinkcuda View Post
I never paid any attention to any one elses drinking.
Hmm, your posts are quite the contrary.

OP,
Yes it is possible because you asked simply, "if someone that quite for awhile could manage drinking again." You didn't define the context of the drinker...so my dear sir, it is very possible. Drinking alcohol is a luxury and if you can't afford that luxury you shouldn't drink it.
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Old 03-01-2009, 11:03 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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robc...
Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum

hope all goes smoothly for you
and your sober time is beneficial..
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Old 03-01-2009, 11:09 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Good question..... I haven't been successful at moderation yet. I'm at my third go around of quitting, and am on Day 50. I still have those conversations with myself *hmmm, could I go back and be more responsible*. When this topic enters my brain, I choose to put it on the shelf, and let it remain unanswered for now. There are too many things that I enjoy about being sober. For example, I passed out @ 9:30 last night, and for once it wasn't due to alcohol. I went snow shoeing for 2 hours and that combined wit the fresh mountain air kicked my butt. It felt great to wake up the next day refreshed.
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Old 03-01-2009, 11:24 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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I know of a few. Like Steve said, a few do end up here by mistake. One woman I know was in AA for fifteen years or so, ended up drinking and drinks moderately now.

I know of another woman who was in AA for quite a while being miserable. She finally got a sponsor and found out by reading the book that she isn't alcoholic, but that she really loves alcoholics. She went to Al-Anon, got a sponsor, took the steps, and is a solid Al-Anon who sponsors a lot of women.

There is the test of trying some controlled drinking. If you think about it, most average temperate drinkers would not be bothered by this proposition.

Then there is the test of leaving booze alone for a year. Try that, no AA, no sponsor, no support group, no nothing. See how that goes.

Some people are more bothered by this proposition than by the idea of trying some controlled drinking. I believe there are some that are more bothered by the possibility that they might not be alcoholic than by the chance that they might be. Especially those who have been around the fellowship for a while.

You've heard that AA will ruin your drinking, I'm sure. Well I ruined AA for a guy. I dion't say this lightly or in a cruel way. In fact, it is rather sad and pathetic. This man was eight years in AA when he asked me to sponsor him. When we were looking at The Doctor's Opinion and talking about how the phenomenon of craving sets the alcoholic apart as a distinct entity, he mentioned that every Sunday he took wine with communion. I asked him did he need another drink after church. He said no, he didn't. I brought up trying some controlled drinking. He didn't want to try that. But if you think about it, he was already doing that. I told him that he might not be alcoholic and that he should find out. This really upset him. I can see why. What do you do when for eight years, AA has been your whole social life?

I see him around once in a while. He is a miserable, lonely person that doesn't know where he belongs. Pretty sad when you want to fit in in AA.
Jim
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Old 03-02-2009, 12:01 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Jim-

That is seriously one of the most fascinating posts I have read on this site. I think that thought had sort of crossed my mind of someone sort of rigidly clinging to the identity of an alcoholic no matter what, I mean it happens with everything right, but I had never heard of it happening. Whoa.

OP—

Sober For Good by Anne Fletcher highlights a couple of "sober" people who drink in a controlled way. Sort of an oxymoron, her terminology not mine, but don't let that dissuade you from the book which is actually quite good. Like Jim's post she talks about people who have been sober for years and drink at church to people who have been sober for years and go back to drinking a certain number of drinks per day.


And the original founder of Moderation Management ended up stepping down and then killing two people in a drunk driving accident which I think is taken as the ultimate advertisement against moderate drinking. I am not necessarily saying so, just providing the anecdote.

Last edited by CarolD; 03-02-2009 at 09:29 AM. Reason: Improper Link Removed
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Old 03-02-2009, 12:34 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by jimhere View Post
When we were looking at The Doctor's Opinion and talking about how the phenomenon of craving sets the alcoholic apart as a distinct entity, he mentioned that every Sunday he took wine with communion. I asked him did he need another drink after church. He said no, he didn't. I brought up trying some controlled drinking. He didn't want to try that. But if you think about it, he was already doing that. I told him that he might not be alcoholic and that he should find out. This really upset him. I can see why. What do you do when for eight years, AA has been your whole social life?

I see him around once in a while. He is a miserable, lonely person that doesn't know where he belongs. Pretty sad when you want to fit in in AA.
Just curious, how much wine is given with communion? I've heard at least a couple of posters here who have stated that they still participate in that ritual.
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Old 03-02-2009, 12:35 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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sfgirl, I read that post a little while ago. I think it is one of those things where we probably know the answer, but need to try it to be sure. I am just going to take it day by day and see where things go.
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Old 03-02-2009, 12:40 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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As for communion I think it is a sip. I remember reading somewhere here that some churches now offer non-alcoholic alternatives.
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Old 03-02-2009, 12:48 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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I have tried this with both alcohol and nicotine - it's a NO NO! Drugs (of whatever sort) establish pathways in the brain. These will be re-activated as soon as you engage in the same drug - with the same results! Simple as that.

DB
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Old 03-02-2009, 12:50 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by sfgirl View Post
As for communion I think it is a sip.
That's what I thought. I don't believe the ability to take a sip of wine in such a situation without experiencing cravings rules out one being an alcoholic. Holy crap, Jim, you really suggested that this guy try some controlled drinking? There's a huge difference between a couple of drinks and a sip of wine. I think it is really sad that this guy doesn't feel as though he belongs in AA anymore on account of that...
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Old 03-02-2009, 01:07 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Pretty sad when you want to fit in in AA.
I think that is one of the problems, people want to fit in in AA meetings, so they contract alcoholism, it is pretty easy to do after you sit in some meetings. Anyone can learn to talk our talk.
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Old 03-02-2009, 01:15 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by doorknob View Post
That's what I thought. I don't believe the ability to take a sip of wine in such a situation without experiencing cravings rules out one being an alcoholic.
I could see that— it could be argued here. Probably with no resolution.

However, what I think is more interesting is the idea of how closely people hang on to the identity of alcoholic. I sort of feel like I am battling that whole issue a bit right now. I feel like recovery and the alcoholic identity is consuming my life and sometimes I wonder is it worth it? Or better am I really this sick? But then I am like, yep, I am, I have so much work to do. I am an alcoholic to a tee. Ugh. I have a friend who quit drinking awhile ago and was so quick to say she was an alcoholic. I know I shouldn't compare other people's recoveries but sometimes it is hard not to. She got a boyfriend a few months in. She didn't go to AA, LifeRing, anything. She just had a therapist. And it all seemed so easy for her. Like alcohol gone and instant happiness. Lately I have been thinking a lot about her recovery just because it is so different than my own. First of all, I am so tunnel vision myself, I cannot ever imagine having a boyfriend now or anytime soon. I battled hard to even come to the realization that I am an alcoholic. And it is hard. Am I happy? Hardly. I am learning to bear my life, to live soberly, which is so important, and needed. I grew up on alcohol; now I need to grow up sober. So back to my friend— I was thinking maybe she just switched addictions her boyfriend for alcohol but just now I was like maybe she is not an alcoholic. She quit drinking after one really bad night. Me, I needed about 100+. I kind of feel like self-destruction is part of the alcoholics deal. Okay, I am so rambling right now, I don't even know what I am talking about. Sooo off topic. It is 1am here. Point is I wonder how many people embrace the identity of alcoholic too quickly without actually being one or too rigidly. Or just a general philosophical question what does it mean to embrace the identity of alcoholic?

(You know when you don't feel tired and realize that you actually must be super tired because you aren't making any sense.....sorry folks)
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Old 03-02-2009, 01:23 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Rereading my last post, I sound like a bitter, judging bitch. I think I kind of feel like that this weekend. I want recovery to be easy. Like, I want happiness now. I want to feel whole and not at the bottom of the mountain. And it just isn't that simple.
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Old 03-02-2009, 01:42 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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there's this doctor that says he can, check out "What do you all think of this, i hope ok to post a link! " thread started by waterface. Personally I don't believe it. Never heard anyone else brag that they could
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Old 03-02-2009, 02:06 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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I thought wine at communion was actually grape juice that only the priests got real wine...don't kids get communion too?And what do mormons do?
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:28 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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I just returned from a trip into moderate drinking. I was so sure I could do it as alcohol wasn't my drug of choice. I posted here, I was warned, but I did what the addict in me wanted to do. All I can say is LISTEN to these people! I am lucky to have made it back before I destroyed my life...Again.
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Old 03-02-2009, 03:58 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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God forbid we should go off on a Catholic tangent....but the Catholic communion is but a sip DK - it'd be kinda rude to hog the chalice. It's a communal thing after all.

It's made even more complicated tho by the fact that Catholics believe in transubstantiation - the belief is the wine is no longer wine once it is blessed.

Whatever your take on that, fine.

I no longer go to Mass - and I stopped taking Communion years ago before that - but I still respect a person's right to genuinely and sincerely hold that belief.

D
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