jowinbo

i csn take away the booze, but at times i still feel dumb, stupid and ughy? i am in thearpy, just why am i not getting it? i do not know?:help

Bamboozle

Hello, jow. Sorry you're having a rough time.

Astro

Hi Jow, always good to see another desert dweller on SR, I love the Globe/Miami area.

For me, alcohol is only a symptom of my disease. The damage I did to my mental, emotional, and especially my spiritual well-being runs much deeper. In order for me to feel "well" or "recovered" I have to practice a program of recovery on a daily basis.

What works for me is AA, some people find therapy useful, we all need to discover what will work for us.

flutter

how long have you been sober? do you think another therapist would be helpful? Therapy is really just guidance, they don't 'fix' us.. it's up to you to do the work here.

CarolD

Have you considered using AA as part of your life?
Works really well for me...

jowinbo

thanks astro, i love AZ! i moved here from idaho, ater spending 45yrs there. AND TY BAM, FLUTTER AND CAROL! s orry cpas locked? i do not type well, lol?

my story starts from childhood, as i was raised by a mother whom, for some reason did not want me ? she lost her first born son, when he was 3 and i was 1 and 1/2. she sent me to my god-parents house for 2 years, where i got molested by my godfather. i only know tthis cause my dad, (disabled from a car wreck in 1970) took me home when he saw what was going on? he told me the whole story when i was 34 and he also apoligized for my mother treating me so bad? i raised 3 good kids, cause i had to do a better job then my mother, because i did not want my kids going thru life hating themeselves like i hated me.....i did not want them to hate me, when they got older, like i hated my mother? sorry sounds kinda sick, cause the bible says to honor your mother and father, and i have not did that?

i NEED help......cause i still do not feel good about myself! sorry!

nelco

Hiya. I do not have a good relationship with my mother. I dont try to hurt her in any way either, I just dont get involved. My mother also caused me pain but i learned that a drink wont make it better it only makes the situation worse. alcohol is a depressant and I felt dumb, stupid, ugly and much more when I was using it to aid my pain. you did not say but If you are an alcoholic but if you believe you may be then alcoholism does not care what you work at or who you are, it picks randomly from all walks of live.The harder one tries to control it, the more powerful the impulse becomes. Compulsion cannot be conquered in a head-on battle. I found A.A and it works for me. Have a look around here and see what fits for you......best of luck. thanks for sharing , keep posting:ghug3

PinkClouded

My mother was an alcoholic and I never felt like she was all that happy with me, too. I just tried to be very quiet so as not to draw attention or her drunken wrath. I had 3 older sisters who, by the grace of God, found time to feed me and bath me and make sure I had a coat on. They were only babies themselves. I know what you mean about not feeling you're good enough. Being rejected by your mother can probably make you feel there is something fundamentally wrong with you. Then I became the drunk mother, and I got to see that she was just sick. Blessings come in the weirdest boxes. It was a start. I have a long way to go, too. Keep sharing because it makes others feel safe to share, too, and we all need it.
Good luck xxoxoxox

jowinbo

for all the replies!!!!! very insightfull? i think i tend to play the victum here? i have raised 3 good kids, but lost it when the youngest left home? i was just lost, so i drank and dramk! gosh i need to get out of this funk of self-pity? ty all

:praying