I finally got a job!!!
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Middle of Nowhere, USA
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I finally got a job!!!
Hi!
I know this isn't directly alcohol related but I just wanted to write quick about my morning. I wrote this morning feeling pretty down. A whole self-pity/jealousy why won't my alcoholism just go away kind of thing. Well, I went to the noon meeting today and I mean, I didn't leave feeling compleatly better but I did feel a difference. It gave me a...even if I want to I know I can't give up feeling. So, I came home in a better mood than I left at least. Well, I just got home about 10 minutes ago and got a phone call that I got a job! Finally! I've been unemployed for 3 weeks and 3 days and finally something came though. It's a hotel clerk job working 2 3rd shifts and 3 2nd shifts. I start tomarrow at 2:45. Which also solves the problem of Jennie following me around too because I'm going to be working!
All I need to do is make sure that I still drag myself out of bed in time to hit the morning meetings and I'm all set. I should be staying up as late as I can though, well....we'll see how things go. Maybe I'll go tonight and not tomarrow and then get up Wed. but not Thursday then I've got Friday off. Maybe I can swing something like that. We'll see. I've never worked 3rd shift so....yeah. I'm also expecting a call back from Barnes n' Noble. It's kind of frusterating because I really want to work both jobs but I know I can't. Now I'm re-thinking my school schedule and everything. Sigh....what a pain! I'm so happy to have a job though. I was getting pretty down because of it. I mean, 3 weeks without a job is the longest I've gone. Ok. I'll take a little vote. The hotel job, like I said is 3 2nd shifts and 2 3rd shifts, full time $7.00hr. Barnes n' Noble is part time probrably mostly 2nd shift at the mall. (they are opening a new store). However, she said I could pretty quickly work into full time there. And it starts out at 6.50hr. I suppose the hotel is better for pay and hours but it's harder on me too and at Barnes n' Noble I put down that I was interested in management. I guess I'll just have to see how things go. Let me know what you guys think though ok? I know it's not directly drinking related but it does persuade my drinking....let me know!
I know this isn't directly alcohol related but I just wanted to write quick about my morning. I wrote this morning feeling pretty down. A whole self-pity/jealousy why won't my alcoholism just go away kind of thing. Well, I went to the noon meeting today and I mean, I didn't leave feeling compleatly better but I did feel a difference. It gave me a...even if I want to I know I can't give up feeling. So, I came home in a better mood than I left at least. Well, I just got home about 10 minutes ago and got a phone call that I got a job! Finally! I've been unemployed for 3 weeks and 3 days and finally something came though. It's a hotel clerk job working 2 3rd shifts and 3 2nd shifts. I start tomarrow at 2:45. Which also solves the problem of Jennie following me around too because I'm going to be working!
All I need to do is make sure that I still drag myself out of bed in time to hit the morning meetings and I'm all set. I should be staying up as late as I can though, well....we'll see how things go. Maybe I'll go tonight and not tomarrow and then get up Wed. but not Thursday then I've got Friday off. Maybe I can swing something like that. We'll see. I've never worked 3rd shift so....yeah. I'm also expecting a call back from Barnes n' Noble. It's kind of frusterating because I really want to work both jobs but I know I can't. Now I'm re-thinking my school schedule and everything. Sigh....what a pain! I'm so happy to have a job though. I was getting pretty down because of it. I mean, 3 weeks without a job is the longest I've gone. Ok. I'll take a little vote. The hotel job, like I said is 3 2nd shifts and 2 3rd shifts, full time $7.00hr. Barnes n' Noble is part time probrably mostly 2nd shift at the mall. (they are opening a new store). However, she said I could pretty quickly work into full time there. And it starts out at 6.50hr. I suppose the hotel is better for pay and hours but it's harder on me too and at Barnes n' Noble I put down that I was interested in management. I guess I'll just have to see how things go. Let me know what you guys think though ok? I know it's not directly drinking related but it does persuade my drinking....let me know!
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Join Date: Mar 2003
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revision:
I should revise that last sentance there. What job I'm working at or whatever is going on in my life doesn't directly persuade my drinking, but it does persuade my stinking thinking about my drinking. You know how that goes...when you're down, you're certainly more apt to think about what you used to do when you got down.....so, I felt I needed to revise that. The key is no matter what happens in my life, to not let it persuade my drinking but...sometimes it's hard ya know? It really is....I'm really happy I got a job though. Although now I've got the new person scared, nervous feeling. Aprehension I guess would most accuratly describe it. I mean, a week from now and I'm going to be working and have control of an ENTIRE hotel! I've worked alone at Meijer in a dept, alone at a gas station at night and that only made me a little nervous and being alone at the video store near a high crime area,...but a hotel?? hehe...I guess people just have more faith in me than I have in myself at this point. Which is good I guess, I need to be pushed sometimes.
You know how that goes...when you're down, you're certainly more apt to think about what you used to do when you got down.....so, I felt I needed to revise that. The key is no matter what happens in my life, to not let it persuade my drinking but...sometimes it's hard ya know? It really is....I'm really happy I got a job though. Although now I've got the new person scared, nervous feeling. Aprehension I guess would most accuratly describe it. I mean, a week from now and I'm going to be working and have control of an ENTIRE hotel! I've worked alone at Meijer in a dept, alone at a gas station at night and that only made me a little nervous and being alone at the video store near a high crime area,...but a hotel?? hehe...I guess people just have more faith in me than I have in myself at this point. Which is good I guess, I need to be pushed sometimes.
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Join Date: Mar 2003
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Day 23...
Hi!
For everyone who actually reads about my pathetic little exsistance in this world... I worked my first day at the hotel last night. It was good but oh, so boring. I got in on the gossip of who to talk to and who not to. I'm not really looking forward to tonight though because I work with this girl who was a mutual friend of my best friend when I was younger and this girl who is the neice of the guy who owns the hotel is and apparently is very in your face. So, I've been told that I can't trust the mutual friend and the other girl is 18 and thinks she owns the place. Great eh? So, we'll see how this works out...I guess it's a paycheck for now though. I interviewed this morning for a position at the hospital here that I really hope I get. It's in the lab working with blood and all those fun bodily fluids. It's kind of an on call position kind of thing but ya know, it pays almost $10hr so I really can't complain. I was dead tired this morning getting up for it though so I hope it went alright. She said she wouldn't be calling back until next week/week n' a half so....I really hope I get it though. I'd do that and Barne's n' Noble. I haven't heard from them either though. But they said they wouldn't be calling till the end of the week so...anytime. Sigh, I like the hotel job but I know I'd like the hospital better. So, I hope things work out. I have to work again tonight. I feel my sobriety being tested here because I'm working 3 nights in a row. I can't get to meetings. I could get up and go to the morning one's but I work 3rd shift Sat and Sun so, I really need to get into the habit of staying up later. Sigh...so, I'm kinda screwed actually. I'm ok but it certainly wouldn't hurt me to make a meeting. Problem is..by the time I get home from the hotel in my snazzy conservative outfit all I want to do is put on PJ's and crawl on the couch and watch anime until I fall asleep..which honestly is exactly what I did last night. I miss my meetings though. It's my second day without one this week. That's only 2 meetings in the past 5 days. Sigh....this isn't how I want things to go. I'm not sure if the hotel is the greatest job for my sobriety because it pretty much voids out any meetings like at least 4 days a week. Which isn't good. I hope I can make it through Friday.
For everyone who actually reads about my pathetic little exsistance in this world...
I worked my first day at the hotel last night. It was good but oh, so boring. I got in on the gossip of who to talk to and who not to. I'm not really looking forward to tonight though because I work with this girl who was a mutual friend of my best friend when I was younger and this girl who is the neice of the guy who owns the hotel is and apparently is very in your face. So, I've been told that I can't trust the mutual friend and the other girl is 18 and thinks she owns the place. Great eh? So, we'll see how this works out...I guess it's a paycheck for now though. I interviewed this morning for a position at the hospital here that I really hope I get. It's in the lab working with blood and all those fun bodily fluids. It's kind of an on call position kind of thing but ya know, it pays almost $10hr so I really can't complain. I was dead tired this morning getting up for it though so I hope it went alright. She said she wouldn't be calling back until next week/week n' a half so....I really hope I get it though. I'd do that and Barne's n' Noble. I haven't heard from them either though. But they said they wouldn't be calling till the end of the week so...anytime. Sigh, I like the hotel job but I know I'd like the hospital better. So, I hope things work out. I have to work again tonight. I feel my sobriety being tested here because I'm working 3 nights in a row. I can't get to meetings. I could get up and go to the morning one's but I work 3rd shift Sat and Sun so, I really need to get into the habit of staying up later. Sigh...so, I'm kinda screwed actually. I'm ok but it certainly wouldn't hurt me to make a meeting. Problem is..by the time I get home from the hotel in my snazzy conservative outfit all I want to do is put on PJ's and crawl on the couch and watch anime until I fall asleep..which honestly is exactly what I did last night. I miss my meetings though. It's my second day without one this week. That's only 2 meetings in the past 5 days. Sigh....this isn't how I want things to go. I'm not sure if the hotel is the greatest job for my sobriety because it pretty much voids out any meetings like at least 4 days a week. Which isn't good. I hope I can make it through Friday.
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A partway solution
Well, I found a maybe solution that might work at least while I'm working. I took my lunch tonight at 8pm and went into the meeting room where I was alone. There I said the serenity prayer and read the big book (my little version I have in my purse) while I was eating. I ended my meeting at 8:30 with the lords prayer and went back to work. I felt soo much better just knowing that at least everyone else was having a meeting at the same time. It gave me some sort of peace to at least not have to totally miss out on having "quiet time" away from the world. I know I still need my meetings though. I really wish I could hit one. If I can I'm going to drag myself out of bed tomarrow and go. It sucks knowing that Jennie is going to all the night meetings too and I'm stuck at work. I'm sure people are asking about me by now. Aww well, at least I haven't drank. I interviewed for this position this morning. Oh, I think I wrote about that. It's at the hospital. I thought a lot about that tonight, I really do hope I get it. I mean, the hotel is ok but my feet are literally aching!! And wearing pantyhose everyday really sux! Anyways, I'll get over it...hehe. I just kinda want the hospital job more. So, we'll see. Anyways, I'm going to go see my b/f now!
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Join Date: Mar 2003
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Day 24
There are only noon meetings on Mondays and Fridays...which is ok if I drag myself out of bed at least Wed. ya know? It's kinda hard though, I got used to going to a meeting every single day and all of a sudden, they're gone and I don't have much to write on here except that I need to go to a meeting ya know? So, I woke up this morning at like 8 and I couldn't get back to sleep, I should've just gotten up and gone but I forced myself back to sleep because if I'm waking up an hour after I'll be getting off work 2 days from now, I'm in trouble! But, I slept till 11 and called it good...but my throught is all swollen, I noticed that last night and I feel kinda icky this morning. I hope I'm not coming down with something. That's just what I need when I'm about to put my body through hell this weekend. Sigh....we'll see. Anyways....so, yeah, I will be getting up to make the meeting tomarrow for sure. I love the noon meetings...I just wish there were more of them. This weekend I can make meetings too working 3rd so....maybe it'll work out fine...if I don't get sick at least!
Anyways....so, yeah, I will be getting up to make the meeting tomarrow for sure. I love the noon meetings...I just wish there were more of them. This weekend I can make meetings too working 3rd so....maybe it'll work out fine...if I don't get sick at least!
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