Im feeling better...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 25
Im feeling better...
hey guys its been a while since i posted here but i want some opinions on my non-cold-turkey try...
last night i went out with my roomate to a party at and apartment owned by my roomates friend. this was not the first time id be partying there, and over the past couple months i had kinda built up a reputation as the guy, the only guy, who would drink 1.5 pint of vodka and black out. but this time i had my roomate and my friends physically stop me at a certain point. i promised i would only have 5 beers, and that i would sip them, which is normally barely enough to give me a buzz (when i normally chug 4 to start)- which i have never done before.
so i had my 5, but i craved more, and i had some other kid sneak me some, i ended up being stopped for the night at around 7-9 beers, i wasnt exactly counting. i remember feeling sometimes during the night depressed that i was barely drunk at all, and i remember complaining about how much i wanted more. but i wasnt given any more.
but the key thing here is- i actually remember the whole night.
i was actually able to converse with people, have a few good laughs, being approached by the ladies (the girls can see a drinking problem from a mile away, and usually dont like that, and when they see someone on the couch near dead from drinking theyre going to stay away), play some games, DANCE (like wtf), joke around, instead of getting so drunk i couldnt stand and just crash on the couch, staring drunk at the tv, alone.
and by the time my roomate and i left the apartment around 2:30, i had pretty much sobered up completely, and i had realised how easy it was to have a good time without getting wrecked, something that seemed impossible for so long.
just goes to prove what a blessing caring friends are.
last night i went out with my roomate to a party at and apartment owned by my roomates friend. this was not the first time id be partying there, and over the past couple months i had kinda built up a reputation as the guy, the only guy, who would drink 1.5 pint of vodka and black out. but this time i had my roomate and my friends physically stop me at a certain point. i promised i would only have 5 beers, and that i would sip them, which is normally barely enough to give me a buzz (when i normally chug 4 to start)- which i have never done before.
so i had my 5, but i craved more, and i had some other kid sneak me some, i ended up being stopped for the night at around 7-9 beers, i wasnt exactly counting. i remember feeling sometimes during the night depressed that i was barely drunk at all, and i remember complaining about how much i wanted more. but i wasnt given any more.
but the key thing here is- i actually remember the whole night.
i was actually able to converse with people, have a few good laughs, being approached by the ladies (the girls can see a drinking problem from a mile away, and usually dont like that, and when they see someone on the couch near dead from drinking theyre going to stay away), play some games, DANCE (like wtf), joke around, instead of getting so drunk i couldnt stand and just crash on the couch, staring drunk at the tv, alone.
and by the time my roomate and i left the apartment around 2:30, i had pretty much sobered up completely, and i had realised how easy it was to have a good time without getting wrecked, something that seemed impossible for so long.
just goes to prove what a blessing caring friends are.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Hi odhgabfe,
You sound like I did before I quit drinking. Most people agree that only way to fix a drinking problem is to abstain. We need to remember that this is a recovery website. People here know how to drink....in everywhich way.
I'm here to stay sober, and abstain from alcohol.
Congrats on thinking about how you drink. What is next? If you wish to recover from alcoholism, abstainece is the only sure fire way to recover.
chip
You sound like I did before I quit drinking. Most people agree that only way to fix a drinking problem is to abstain. We need to remember that this is a recovery website. People here know how to drink....in everywhich way.
I'm here to stay sober, and abstain from alcohol.
Congrats on thinking about how you drink. What is next? If you wish to recover from alcoholism, abstainece is the only sure fire way to recover.
chip
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 25
well, i had a problem for about 2 years and i decided it was time to stop getting so drunk every night, at first it was fun, but it only brought incredibly negative stuff into my life. so i decided to acutally moderate how much i drank, and i didnt get sick, didnt do something stupid, nothing bad came of it, and i still managed to have a good time with my friends. im hoping this moderation can train me out of the cravings i continue to get after 7-9. if i continue to mess up my life under this new lifestyle, then yes, i will have no choice but to drop alcohol all together.
no more craving, no more obsessing druing the week, no more sickness, no more stupidity, being able to have a good time = recovery to me. and if those are the long term results of what i am doing now, perfect. if this does not get me cured, then i will abstain completely.
maybe recovery doesnt mean the same thing for everyone.
no more craving, no more obsessing druing the week, no more sickness, no more stupidity, being able to have a good time = recovery to me. and if those are the long term results of what i am doing now, perfect. if this does not get me cured, then i will abstain completely.
maybe recovery doesnt mean the same thing for everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Fort Wayne IN
Posts: 284
It was only one night. What will happen the next time? An alcoholic can only recover through abstinance, IMO. I have tried what you did last night, for me it did not work the next time. Those "friends" may not be willing to be your babysitter every time you drink. Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 25
well while i was craving, i kept telling myself that i am trying this, and i have to go through with it all together or else it was a waste of time and energy. i was actually able to impose some self control on myself, which im sure is not a bad sign. i stopped myself at 9 or whatever the count was and told myself that i was cheating myself and others by doing this, and i didnt ask anyone to sneak any more afterwards. yea i felt kinda crappy sitting there without a drink, knowing there was more waiting for me, but i knew i had to deal with it to make any real progress. nobody was babysitting me, and nobody should be. but stopping me at 5 or 9 is no different from them stopping me at 0. so through your logic they would be "babysitting" either way.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 157
I agree with deezaldog. You won't always have your friends to watch out for you. They may tire of that. And it concerns we that if they did not stop you then you would have gone full speed ahead. In my opinion, it think it sounds like you cannot moderate without the help of others??? I wish you the best of luck and hope you find your way with this. Be safe.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
I think it's great if you could actually go back to controlled drinking. I tried it many times over the years with fleeting results, it never lasted. For an alcoholic this would be the exception not the rule but more power to you if you can pull it off.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by odhgabfe 
i ended up being stopped for the night at around 7-9 beers...
i had realised how easy it was to have a good time without getting wrecked
i had realised how easy it was to have a good time without getting wrecked
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
When I controlled my drinking I couldn't enjoy it.
When I enjoyed my drinking I couldn't contol it.
This is a saying in AA that flashed through my mind while reading your post. You will have to find your own truth and whatever it is that works for you. I found the above statement to be true for me and everyone else I know with an alcohol problem but I am sure there are others who would profess to be exceptions to that rule.
Best of luck to you as you try to find your path towards freedom and happiness.
Kellye
When I enjoyed my drinking I couldn't contol it.
This is a saying in AA that flashed through my mind while reading your post. You will have to find your own truth and whatever it is that works for you. I found the above statement to be true for me and everyone else I know with an alcohol problem but I am sure there are others who would profess to be exceptions to that rule.
Best of luck to you as you try to find your path towards freedom and happiness.
Kellye
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Glad you're night turned out well but like the others said...........
I wonder how long you can go like that. I know I couldn't. I always wanted to get trashed and eventually that's what I ended up doing.
I wonder how long you can go like that. I know I couldn't. I always wanted to get trashed and eventually that's what I ended up doing.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Hi again odhgabfe,
There is nothing wrong with trying to control your drinking. It's a good idea.
You remind me of myself because I did the same thing before I quit. I even wrote the same thing about it: " if this does not get me cured, then i will abstain completely."
Does this mean that you are willing to quit if this route doesn't work out for you? If you can't maintain this moderation thing, or you find it isn't enjoyable, are you willing to quit drinking?
I hope you will keep an open mind.
You might want to set some definite guidelines for your drinking, and stick to the rules everytime. Let us know how it goes.
For me, I needed to become accountable for the amount of booze I was consuming. It was helpful for me to make some "rules", share them on this website, and report back. This exercise helped me realize that I am an alcoholic. It also opened my mind to the possibility of life without drinking.
For me, my recovery started before I quit drinking. It started when I reached out. I'm glad you are reaching out. If you need to recover, I hope you will find recovery.
Many of us go through these same stages. Most of us find out that abstaining from alcohol is the only way an alcoholic can recover. It sounds harsh when it's said, but many of us have done the same "research" that you are doing right now. Been there, done that.
I advise you to keep an open mind. Set some goals, and share them with others. Try to stick with your goals. Don't give up. If you are disappointed with your ability to stick to "rules", or how crappy it feels to "moderate"...abstianence might be for you.
BTW....It's possible to enjoy life without drinking. My life is awesome today, and I don't even think about having a drink. This is coming from a guy who couldn't comfortably go more than 2 hours without a drink.... I wouldn't have it anyother way today.
chip
There is nothing wrong with trying to control your drinking. It's a good idea.
You remind me of myself because I did the same thing before I quit. I even wrote the same thing about it: " if this does not get me cured, then i will abstain completely."
Does this mean that you are willing to quit if this route doesn't work out for you? If you can't maintain this moderation thing, or you find it isn't enjoyable, are you willing to quit drinking?
I hope you will keep an open mind.
You might want to set some definite guidelines for your drinking, and stick to the rules everytime. Let us know how it goes.
For me, I needed to become accountable for the amount of booze I was consuming. It was helpful for me to make some "rules", share them on this website, and report back. This exercise helped me realize that I am an alcoholic. It also opened my mind to the possibility of life without drinking.
For me, my recovery started before I quit drinking. It started when I reached out. I'm glad you are reaching out. If you need to recover, I hope you will find recovery.
Many of us go through these same stages. Most of us find out that abstaining from alcohol is the only way an alcoholic can recover. It sounds harsh when it's said, but many of us have done the same "research" that you are doing right now. Been there, done that.
I advise you to keep an open mind. Set some goals, and share them with others. Try to stick with your goals. Don't give up. If you are disappointed with your ability to stick to "rules", or how crappy it feels to "moderate"...abstianence might be for you.
BTW....It's possible to enjoy life without drinking. My life is awesome today, and I don't even think about having a drink. This is coming from a guy who couldn't comfortably go more than 2 hours without a drink.... I wouldn't have it anyother way today.
chip
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
As long as I kept drinking....the cravings never stopped
happening.
Absolutely..you are not being a moderate drinker.
What is moderation?
According to the U.S. Center for Disease Control
Moderate drinking is no more than
2 drinks a day for men..1 for women
They consider a drink to be
12 oz. of beer..5 oz. of wine...1 1/2 oz of liquor.
Your body and mind processes all 3 toxins equally
so drinking only wine or only liquor or only beer
or mixing them is of no importance.
They all do the same damage.
happening.
Absolutely..you are not being a moderate drinker.
What is moderation?
According to the U.S. Center for Disease Control
Moderate drinking is no more than
2 drinks a day for men..1 for women
They consider a drink to be
12 oz. of beer..5 oz. of wine...1 1/2 oz of liquor.
Your body and mind processes all 3 toxins equally
so drinking only wine or only liquor or only beer
or mixing them is of no importance.
They all do the same damage.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 25
this is how i see it- when you train a puppy to sit, you don't tell it to sit and expect it to happen instantly. you train it, and it usually takes some time. you slowly encourage it with treats and take it through the motions by having it in a sitting position as you give it a treat. and slowly but surely the dog will catch on that as soon as you say sit, it knows what to do without any outside influence.
right now im training myself on how to stop myself when i have had enough to enjoy my night, before i continue down the short road to blackout level, without someone stopping me. if i need to be encouraged on when to stop for a little while by others, so be it. but they understand i want to change, and they are willing to hold the treat in front of me and sit me down for a bit if it means i can better enjoy myself in the future.
because now that i realise i CAN stop before i get to blackout level, and enjoy the night, and not feel like a waste of alcohol, it motivates me that much more to get complete self control back.
right now im training myself on how to stop myself when i have had enough to enjoy my night, before i continue down the short road to blackout level, without someone stopping me. if i need to be encouraged on when to stop for a little while by others, so be it. but they understand i want to change, and they are willing to hold the treat in front of me and sit me down for a bit if it means i can better enjoy myself in the future.
because now that i realise i CAN stop before i get to blackout level, and enjoy the night, and not feel like a waste of alcohol, it motivates me that much more to get complete self control back.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by odhgabfe
this is how i see it- when you train a puppy to sit, you don't tell it to sit and expect it to happen instantly. you train it, and it usually takes some time. you slowly encourage it with treats...
It works in 99.999% of animal/human behavior scenarios.
Alcoholism is one of the .001% exceptions to the rule.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I do understand that you are exploring your
relationship with alcohol.
What's the magic number I can drink and not
black out...pass out...act stupid and look nerdy?.
I sure hope you figure out what a waste of your
time..education and energy your spending.
And all to impress a room full of your drinking buddies.
relationship with alcohol.
What's the magic number I can drink and not
black out...pass out...act stupid and look nerdy?.
I sure hope you figure out what a waste of your
time..education and energy your spending.
And all to impress a room full of your drinking buddies.
Gold Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: It's raining again!
Posts: 2,494
Wow 9 beers would put me under the table. 9 beers is a lot for any man or woman. If you can drink 9 beers and not get drunk then something is wrong! This is not normal drinking it's alcoholic drinking. I guess I would wonder why i would have to drink that much at all to have a good time. I would guess something was missing in me and I was trying to find it in a bottle. You have no reason to be proud of yourself. I knew my ex husband was an alcoholic when he only had 3 beers all night and was able to go through a check point and was proud that he was not drunk this time. Sounds like the same kind of pride. Besides dear your not a puppy, puppies don't drink and pass out. When a puppy is thirsty he drinks and walks away when he has his fill.
Last edited by zoomer; 11-17-2008 at 04:26 AM. Reason: spelling
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 469
I am glad you posted this. I had done this numerous times thru the years. the "controlled drinking" and I do remember how it ends in the long run, back to drinking the WHOLE BOTTLE. For me it is impossible, how many times I tried to be normal like everyone else..but I can't do it for a life time...few times maybe, but back to all or nothing. I wish you luck on the theory, I know for me it is impossible. The bad thing I have found out that every time I stop, then try to drink again/relapse, the affects got worse and worse. Bad times, scarey times to say the least, my mind is gone when I am drinking now, I just can't believe how nuts I am now, when drunk..any way... I hope it doesn 't get like that for you. Good luck and keep posting, let us know how you are doing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 25
im not trying to impress anyone. impressing people was important in high school. im trying to drink to have a good time, not get completely sh-t faced because i feel like i have to. and if i fall back down into what i was, like i said i will have no choice but to completely abstain.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
