Suomi Poika

The title should probably be "not sure where to continue." I haven't been here for a long time. I was doing quite well until a few months ago.

Many somethings have happened. The last two years included a very long hard road involving unrelated multiple family deaths, other very unexpected serious issues, and simultaneous job downsizings that caught both my wife and me by complete surprise. We found new jobs, but our income is now less than one-half what it was two years ago. My job commute is now 4-1/2 to 5 hours a day.

My wife and I are both 64 years old, so finding new jobs is not easy. I'm quite concerned about my job lasting into the new year due to the current economic crisis the nation faces.

I had hoped to see my doctor last Friday, but she is facing some serious health and family issues too. I have a tentative appointment for two weeks from now. I love her assistants, but they are of very little help with these kinds of issues.

I had enough vacation time to take this week off from work, so I'm kind of hiding out. I'm keeping myself very busy from sunup to sundown.

But . . ., alcohol is everywhere -- the gas station, the convenience store, the grocery story . . .

No offense to those who regularly post here, but I'm not into AA.

Any suggestions how I start to get my self back on track?

Ananda

I find that checking in at SR and reading about other people who are in sobriety helps me to keep perspective and gives me new ideas about how to deal with life sober. Even if the details are different than mine, there are usually enough things that are similar enough to be helpful to me.

It helps alot just to know that i am doing my part to find new solutions to my life problems today.

glad you are checking in and hope you stick around!

CarolD

Welcome back....

Ten years ago..I took early Social Security benefits
at 62...supplementing that by working a low paying job.

5 years ago...my vision made working impossible
I started to live on only SS.
It's been possible...but not without drastic cut backs.

I recently cracked up my AA groups by saying
"Hell...I'm now too poor to be a drinker"

I am not up to date on what SS is doing...but if I
were you I'd be exploring Social Security benefits.

I also found excellent health care before 65 by using
a County Health Department in Fl. They were on
a sliding scale for low income citizens.

This week I will apply for a heating credit
for natural gas for the winter. Last year I
got $250....that helped immensley.
Again...it's for low income people.

Blessings to both you and your wife...

Tazman53

Suomi I am in AA, but there are a lot of sober folks out there doing sober things, I discovered in sobriety that in reality most people do things sober, most social functions involve very little if any alcohol.

All the bingo halls in my area are booze free, the majority of events in my area brag about being alcohol free. When I was drinking I thought everything in life revolved around booze...... what I found out was that I did nothing unless it involved drinking as a result that was all I knew.

Most clubs do not involve drinking.

Getting sober allowed me to live life, being drunk stopped me from living life, I have discovered that people who hike, bicycle, go to plays and act in plays, do community service, and go to activities at comminity centers do not drink while doing those things.

Carol has offered some good suggestions for your economic and health situations, I really have no more to offer in that arena then she does. Have you all thought about joining some type of church? Maybe just going to some church functions, I do not go to church, but the last time I did there was not a drop of liquor to be seen unless they were doing communion.

Rusty Zipper

SP, for me, what i do know is...

getting out in the world, meeting new people, opening up, has opened a new world of possibillities...

emotional, financial, health wise, and spiritual...

good wishes on your journey...

oh, and i aint no spring chicken also...

zip

Suomi Poika

Thanks all. Yes, Ananda, visiting here certainly does help. I went through a period like this several years ago, and SR helped a lot then.


Rusty -- I do keep my self extremely busy on the days I'm not commuting. That keeps me busy enough. And, I've been into community service pretty much my entire life, so I've always got places to go, and people to see who are not drinking.

Tazman -- I don't get into trouble with alcohol because of places where they serve it. I get into trouble on my commute home in the evening. After the first hour I usually stop for a soda and a snack. Around the second hour I stop for gas -- and I'm not sure there is anyplace that sells gas that doesn't also sell beer and wine. And, here in WV, some even sell booze.

The first time I quit a number of years ago, I pretty much disconnected myself from anyone who drank, other than those who maybe have an occasional glass of wine with dinner, or a cold brew after mowing the lawn.

Carol -- as for retiring, we can't do that just yet. Several years ago we bought the farm where we plan to retire. It was shortly after we moved here that we both lost our local jobs. But, that's just life. We have way too many things to still get accomplished, that cost money, before we can really cut our expenses. If the econonmy doesn't completely go down the tank, we can see that a few years off, as everything will be paid for, and we can be pretty self sufficient. I do keep my eyes open for reasonable job opportunities that could cut my commute at least in half.

Thanks again,
Toivo

RufusACanal

Hello and welcome to SR. I would like to know you if don't mind why AA is not an option; AA works for many and I guess I wonder at why it would not work for you. May I ask what you and your Wife do for employment, I might be able to help. PM is more comfortable.

R

Suomi Poika

Rufus,

Thanks for your reply, concerns, and offer to assist.

I do actually mind going into why AA is not an option. I've been around SR for a few years, and I've unfortunately seen way too much baiting by well-meaning AA proponents in this particular forum. I would hope that was not your intent.

The results are nearly always disastrous for the whole community. Open discussion would would be great regarding efficacy rates, alternate methods, etc., but it unfortunately nearly always degenerates into hateful posts that take away from the otherwise extremely valuable information and friendship needed here.

When I first came to SR a long time ago -- under a name and password I've long since forgotten, this particular forum, and the one right below it were relatively new. This one was pretty much reserved for those who had general questions, and who chose one of the many other avenues to sobriety. In my case, I chose the medical community and counseling, which is where I'm headed back to.

The forum below was for those who wished to work within a 12-step program, like AA. Most of the time we peacefully coexisted.

You may also want to read some of the extremely insightful posts by my old friend Don S http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/members/don-s.html who was an inspiration to most. He took a lot of heat for posting serious scientific and research information about recovery. We need far more like him.

As I recall, it was during a rather turbid period that long time member Peter posted the wonderful sticky that is still posted above: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rit-unity.html

I know I'm not a regular anymore, but I'd sure like to see a lot more really good and civil discussions about the many alternates to AA.

I have nothing against AA. It just isn't for everyone. It has helped many, but so have other methods.

Stay sober,
Toivo