tiburon88

I have just called 10 people in the AA "program". Do you know how many picked up the phone? Only 1 and they had only about 5 minutes to spare. I love when AA folks say to, "call me anytime." It's a big lie. I feel that I will get more support from the church I attend on occassion. This has been my experience for a long time with the "program." I get more support from people in the local bars I attend also. I'm just sharing my experience for others that are fed up with the "AA program."

tiburon

LosingmyMisery

I'm sorry that you are frustrated and people weren't available for you, Tib. I think your emotions are certainly running high right now. You may see things in a different light after you settle down. Remember, even people in AA have lives and may not be right by the phone every second. I bet they do mean it when they say call anytime taking in account that others will understand if they are unavailable to come to the phone. I may be mistaken, but the people of AA aren't the entire program of AA. That is my thoughts on the matter. I think AA is certainly better than the support you would get at any bar, no matter what you may think right now. Deep breaths and forward you go....

Is there anything else on your mind that you would like to get out? Something else bothering you?

AW2486

Don't use 10 poor examples that call themselves AA members in your area to bash AA as a whole.

tiburon88

No AW I will bash the program from now on. It's my experience and may be a strength for some. This is the Alcoholism forum and I have posted on here for a while. Wait isn't a 10% call back rate the same as the AA recovery rate? I reached out last night and the program let me down.

tiburon

Anna

Tiburon,

You get lots of support here. We do understand how hard this is.

Don't let your frustrations affect your sobriety.

AW2486

Then your area has **** poor AA.. That would never happen in the groups I attend. And that too is AA .. So don't bash AA as a whole.. Bash AA in your area all you want.

LosingmyMisery

This happened last night and today?

Not knowing the entire circumstances, I don't think it is fair to say that all ten members are poor examples for not answering the phone. However, this is coming from someone who doesn't have a cell phone. If I'm not home, I don't get the call.

Paulie

People let you down, not the program. The program are the steps and the traditions. Have you worked them?

tiburon88

I worked all 12 steps with a sponser and still continue to use. It's like the program is perfect right guys? I am currently seeking a rehab facilty that does NOT use the 12 steps.


tib

LosingmyMisery

I don't think any program is perfect, Tib. I'm glad you are seeking out other options. The focus is to stay sober. If AA isn't working for you, try another program. Keep trying until you find something that works. Don't give up on yourself.

bob_sapp

Dude, get over your hate trip on AA. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling, and hope you can get sober whether or not you want AA...

As for people not picking up... They are human, they aren't infallible. Don't you remember in the preamble "B)no HUMAN POWER could've relieved our alcoholism"... Some meetings have poor fellowship, some sober people are flaky as hell and you can never rely on them. I have dealt with the same crap but not everyone is like that.

I'm in AA and I'm listening to you right now. If you want to talk about something, PM me and I'll chat.

Texasblind

Tib,

Although I am a fan of AA, I can tell you that there are facilities out there that don't use 12 step. I went to one.

I'm sorry you were let down.

Paulie

Do what works for you. But bashing what didnt work for you? how does that benefit anyone? The 12 steps work for me, but I dont bash others that are clean and happy without working the steps.

Do what works, and by happy without resentment.

Rob B

Problem with AA is that it is filled with folks you are describing. They either are not real alcoholics or have forgotten how painful trying to get sober is.

I am happy to talk with you if you want to hear what I have to say, sounds like you've had an experience with middle of the road soft AA, the program works incredibly well. I will give you my # if you want it, I do pick up the phone.

You say you have worked all 12 steps, maybe your sponsor led you through and passed on what he had to offer, which more than likely wasn't the clear cut directions in the big book. If you did indeed work all the steps thoroughly you could honestly say the following.
I understand lack of power
I got on my knees and said the 3rd step prayer to a God of my understanding.
I did a thorough 4th step inventory.
I shared all my inventory with another person
I made a list of ALL people I have harmed
I made ammends to ALL people I harmed.
I prayed and meditated daily
I worked with others

That's what the program is, if you did all this as outlined by the book you would be sober. If you are so turned off that a 12 step program is not an option, I wish you well in seeking a program that will meet your needs, I am glad you are still on this site and posting.

laurie6781

You know when I got sober AA was the only game in town.

The first suggestion my sponsor gave me, she opened up my Big Book and pointed to the blank front cover. She said "I want you to get phone number of women. I want you to fill the cover of this book with those phone numbers, and write small."

I thought she was crazy, however, being scared (after all I had died literally) I did as I was told.

Then she told me "when you can't get a hold of me, start at the top and work down."

Huh??? Why wouldn't the first or second one be okay?

She explained that folks in AA did have lives, might be at some sport function with a child, at work, at a meeting, at a business function etc.

Well.............................................. .......the first time I was in a 'real tither' or rather a 'hissy fit' and wanted to really hurt someone, anyone bad, I called her, got the machine. Opened my BB and started calling, I think I had to go through about 22 or 23 numbers to find someone that could talk to me................................................ .the funny thing was..................by the time I got a lady on the phone that was available, I couldn't remember WHY I had gotten so upset, rofl

When I told Bev this, she just smiled and said that's part of why I wanted you to get LOTS and LOTS of numbers.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I, too have used this with my sponsees for many years now and it works, don't know why, but it works.

Tib I know you are hurting, and I know from what others have told me that a head full of AA and a belly full of booze is a very UNCOMFORTABLE place to be.

I am sorry, I don't have any magical answers for you.................................Any method you try will require Full and Complete COMMITMENT and maybe, just maybe you haven't reached the point of wanting to stay sober MORE than wanting to drink, I don't know. I know your drinking makes you very uncomfortable, and hopefully will get you to where you need to be to make a commitment to some method..............................for your own sanity, peace and serenity soon.

May you find what you are searching for.

Love and hugs,

lizw

Try ringing SLAA people! Not only do they not have the time, they are all too worried about their own boundaries etc... Don't give a flying f**k if you're bawling your eyes out etc...

But that doesn't mean, I use that as an excuse, to relapse in that area of my life.

Some people do live 'the show' of the 12 steps, others don't and actually live the program, and sometimes it's tough finding out which is which and who is who.

And I'm sorry there's a ton of slackers in AA in your area.
:ghug

Boleo

Democracy is the worst form of government except for every other form of government
(Winston Churchill)

AA is the worst form of recovery except for every other form of recovery
(boleo)

doorknob

What forms might those be?

CarolD

Just another of your reasons ...many which you
regularly post here. ...
Look at your past threads for them.

I'm so glad you finally are chooseing to go to rehab.
That's progress for you.

Ananda

I'm glad you are going to a rehab! I found that very helpful for me.

When I first came to AA no one had cell phones, only a very very very few had answering machines...so pretty much I had a lists of about 10-20 numbers (men and women...we weren't picky) and when I needed to talk I just started calling till someone answered the phone and thats who I talked to.

The first time that I really got in a jam and wanted to drink this time...I really blew it ... although I white knuckled my way through the nite and do not regret that I did that.....I had got it in my head from all the directive sponsorship stuff in meetings that it was MY SPONSOR that I had to call and if not her there were only a few people I could call...and since they all had cell phones someone would be there...spent a miserable nite.

After that I started making sure that I have long lists of numbers and talked to my sponsor about the fact taht I was going to call ANYONE if I ever felt that way again.

I too hate it when I feel like I am alone and in pain.