debs4321

I agree with you Reality.

If i am reading you right, I understand my problem wasnt the drinking and using, it was a spiritual malady.

When I quit drinking/using I still had a spiritual malady. I still had a hole in my soul. Which I needed to fill with something other than mind-altering substances.



I had to address this by working the 12 steps and finding a Higher Power.

I now fill that hole with God (whom I choose to call my Higher Power).

This is just my ESH

bugsworth

LOL sarcasm doesn't hurt, it makes a point. It was far easier to condense my thoughts into one clear concise word then elaborate, after all you were well aware that you would get many contrary responses. Maybe you would care to share how it is that you came to your conclusion regarding alcoholism.

SelfSeeking

I'm posting just to say, I am not rising to the bait.

*stepping away from the keyboard*

LOL

bostonluv

Reality,

I don't understand this narrow minded type thinking. You have a theory on alcoholism. As you said, "it's my experience" Not a fact. And I think a lot of people expressed very clearly why they either support your theory or reject it. Sorry the answers you received don't sit well with you.

bostonluv

Self Seeking you are wiser person than I am.

SelfSeeking

5 kazillion times bitten, every once in a while shy, what can I say?

sailorjohn

Based on what I've read in your posts, if your opinion is based on "all you've read about alcoholism", then you need to do a little more reading on the subject. Good place to start would be Miliam's sp? Under the Influence, available through Amazon.

doorknob

That may be because most of the respondants to your query have had this solution pushed on them since the very first time they sought help. And it doesn't help. You can't fit a square peg into a round hole without damaging both.

I would suggest that your reading is selective. There are many books available that describe a contrasting theory of addiction and recovery. There are also other programs available, LifeRing and SMART being two of those. The 'Secular Connections' forum here at SR is a good place to read if you really want to understand and possibly even help those you encounter who are unwilling to change their non-spiritual view of reality.

Those issues can be addressed with cognitive and behavioral therapy like CBT and REBT, which have been shown to provide positive results.

CarolD

Well Reality....
I did notice you have been sharing in our
Friends & Family Forum....as a member of Alanon.

Are you here in Alcoholism to share your ES&H
on your personal alcoholism and recovery?

I have no idea if you are an alcoholic
or exactly what method you are using.

...I see a lot of "we know: in your orginal post
not so much ..."I do".

I too am curious.

Carol D.--alcoholic ... I do use God and AA
to enjoy my life

SelfSeeking

Erm... I can't figure out what ES&H means.

doorknob

Experience, Strength & Hope.

AnthonyV

I'm not being defensive, just asking you to be respectful of others. By your very own words you say "WE KNOW <snip> they are <snip> not sober". That is a pretty bold assumption and quite judgmental. I'm happy for you that you have found sobriety in AA, but your way is not the only way.

Tell me, how is asking you to be respectful of other people's experience being defensive?

CarolD

I removed a post as it did not follow our posting rules
Let's all remember to share our personal expeiences
with respect for SR and each other.

Thank You.

Tazman53

AA works for me, it does not work for everyone, there are many other ways that work for others.

I have no need to call any other persons way any derogatory term, what purpose does it serve?

I thought we were here to support each other in our chosen path to sobriety by sharing what worked for us, not to deride each others methods of recovery?

Perhaps I should look in the mirror, that is where I have always found the source of my problems.

I am violating something my mother taught me by responding to this thread, that is:

SelfSeeking

One of my favorite parts of SR is that I can learn from the experiences of people who believe all sorts of things about the nature of the universe. People who belong to and follow strict religious traditions, people who take some of a religion and leave the rest, people of the "spiritual but not religious" crowd, agnostics, and atheists. Every single person on SR that shares what works for them in recovery has been an education for me. I have been able to be part of SR in a way I couldn't at AA because, frankly, we have threads to separate topics a little. Obviously spirituality/religion is going to mix in, because it's not separated from everyday life, but why do people feel the need to start threads like this purely for the sake of stirring the turd? It's not about finding fellowship, it's about pointing out a "wrong" side and a "right" side and telling the "wrong" people to explain themselves. :wtf2

I am wretchedly argumentative in other aspects of my life, but isn't it exhausting to try to recover from an addiction AND pick fights about/defend deeply held personal beliefs? I mean, I know I can just ignore the thread and move on, and I am working on that (it's a lot easier in an online forum than at a meeting full of believers), but I just wanted to point out how unhelpful this thread was. I'm really tired of being told I haven't seen the light. My lack of God is not what makes me an alcoholic, I come from a long line of them and they were all Catholics or Protestants.

//end rant//

shockozulu

I'm Catholic and I work a Secular recovery. For me, my spirituality is not part of my recovery program. There is nothing wrong with this, as long as I continue to work to change my addictive and alcoholic behaviors.

I pray for help in my recovery when I feel I need it, just as I pray when I want to thank my HP for help in a stressful work situation,or praying for a friend in need.

Just because I don't work a certain program the way the original poster wants me to does not make me a person who is not recovering. As long as I work toward getting rid of my alcoholic and addictive behaviors I am recovering. When I go to sleep at night that is all that should matter.

AnthonyV

I stopped going to AA for several personal reasons, the most important one being that it wasn't working for me. Because I have rejected AA doesn't mean I'm not spiritual. Everyday I meditate and I ask for the guidance of the universe within me to help me act with compassion, patience and kindness. I ask for the wisdom to think before I speak and the intelligence to choose my words carefully whenever and where ever I interact with other people, whether it be online, at work, on the street or in the grocery store. And most importantly, I thank the spirit of life, the spirit of the universe, for life and another day to live it and for being able to look at life through sober eyes.

Just because I did not find success in AA doesn't mean I believe that no one will find success in AA. I'm thankful that AA is there for those who need it and find success there, just as I'm thankful for Smart Recovery, SOS or any other program that helps a person who's life has been controlled by alcohol to be able to live sober. And I'm thankful for Campral, Naltrexone, Anabuse, Topomax or any other drug that a doctor may prescribe that helps someone who wants to be sober, be sober. And if a problem drinker can stop drinking all on their own, I'm happy for those people as well.

It's not a competition as to who has the best sobriety or the best program. It's about finding the way out of living in active addiction. One person's way out doesn't have to be, nor should be the only way out for everyone.

doorknob

I'm so sick of this issue. It pops up on every forum here. I just noticed there are 2 biker forums. I don't even have to read any of the closed threads to find out why. There's 2 secular forums. It's pretty bad when a group that makes up a small minority has to split their forum. What's next? 2 womens forums, 2 mens forums, 2 F&F forums, and so on... It's bad enough that the alcohol forums are separated from forums for other drugs. It's like the conflict in the middle east. It's never going to end...

Dee74

I'm a bit over us and them too.

I'm for whatever works - I'm here to help people. I'd like to think we all are.

Like I said elsewhere, I want SR to be a place where any point of view can be both presented and discussed reasonably.

We're not there, but I think we're getting better than we were.

D

Tazman53

I am with you Dee, I am working very hard on not being the person who has to say something negative when I disagree with someones view, what purpose does it serve?

I work very hard to give support when asked for and to share my ES&H where I can, this helps every one in the long run.

If we could simply stick with replying to threads with support when asked and our ES&H where it may help then threads like this one would quickly just drop off of page one and be forgotten.

These threads go way out of control when some one who can not control them selfs and just simply ignore something they find offensive instead replies in kind with something just as offensive as the original post or worse.

Some folks here seem to find more joy in stirring the pot with negative or antagonistic posts then in supporting those seeking support or sharing their ES&H.

Oh well peace to all, I am just adding to the frenzy by throwing a bit more gas on the fire.

Peace and love.