My first post.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Welcome back Lindsay.
Honey, you need to do something drastic or you will continue to feel this crappy.
If you don't want to do any of the other things you suggested, maybe it is time to get into action.
Get to some meetings. I do the AA thing but I know that there are other methods.
I can only speak about AA so I will. This is what I did:
Log on to the AA website and start researching meetings in your area.
Write down at least one meeting a day that is convenient for you, that you could get to. Find at least one speaker meeting & one womans meeting. If you can, also look for a newcomer meeting and a young persons meeting. Okay, now commit to going to one meeting a day. If you are not comfortable at one ( keeping in mind that you are not likely to be comfortable anywhere for awhile
) then try another. I did this for my first couple months because I did not know what to do with myself if I was not working or drinking. Oh yeah, go to the meetings at least 10 minutes early and stay 10 minutes after and help clean up. I promise you will feel better. Taking action is what it is all about. For now, it is one step, one day at a time :ghug2
Honey, you need to do something drastic or you will continue to feel this crappy.
If you don't want to do any of the other things you suggested, maybe it is time to get into action.
Get to some meetings. I do the AA thing but I know that there are other methods.
I can only speak about AA so I will. This is what I did:
Log on to the AA website and start researching meetings in your area.
Write down at least one meeting a day that is convenient for you, that you could get to. Find at least one speaker meeting & one womans meeting. If you can, also look for a newcomer meeting and a young persons meeting. Okay, now commit to going to one meeting a day. If you are not comfortable at one ( keeping in mind that you are not likely to be comfortable anywhere for awhile
) then try another. I did this for my first couple months because I did not know what to do with myself if I was not working or drinking. Oh yeah, go to the meetings at least 10 minutes early and stay 10 minutes after and help clean up. I promise you will feel better. Taking action is what it is all about. For now, it is one step, one day at a time :ghug2
Being Me for the first time
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
I did have to let go of the friends I had, actually as I became sober they gave me up, which was not a bad thing............................aint that the truth
If your roommate is a true friend , she wouldnt ask you to partake in something that your trying to stop . explain to her the end results of your doing so , job ,money,family etc .Its time for you to take care of your self even at the cost of leaving your home but if your in jail due to another DUI what good will it do her ? or you ? peace with you
If your roommate is a true friend , she wouldnt ask you to partake in something that your trying to stop . explain to her the end results of your doing so , job ,money,family etc .Its time for you to take care of your self even at the cost of leaving your home but if your in jail due to another DUI what good will it do her ? or you ? peace with you
Last edited by endzoner; 09-10-2008 at 10:18 AM. Reason: read something more
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Lindsay
I just now noticed your thread.
I think you have much to be thankful for, Lindsay. I haven't but skimmed your posts (because I'm at work). But you seem to have at a very young age, an awareness and wisdom that many of us go a lot of decades without.
The only "advice" I have is don't panic. You are on the right path. Might your school's counseling center be of help? University's all over the country are confronting binge/excessive drinking. Many deaths have underscored the need. It makes me think they might be especially receptive/helpful to someone who seeks out help. Their failure to respond could result in a PR nightmare for them.
I don't know you, but am proud of you. You have taken so many steps (like confiding in you Mother) that will only serve to support you down the road. I didn't really recognize/confront my issues until I was 55. A bunch of degrees didn't make up for my lack of wisdom.
warren
I just now noticed your thread.
I think you have much to be thankful for, Lindsay. I haven't but skimmed your posts (because I'm at work). But you seem to have at a very young age, an awareness and wisdom that many of us go a lot of decades without.
The only "advice" I have is don't panic. You are on the right path. Might your school's counseling center be of help? University's all over the country are confronting binge/excessive drinking. Many deaths have underscored the need. It makes me think they might be especially receptive/helpful to someone who seeks out help. Their failure to respond could result in a PR nightmare for them.
I don't know you, but am proud of you. You have taken so many steps (like confiding in you Mother) that will only serve to support you down the road. I didn't really recognize/confront my issues until I was 55. A bunch of degrees didn't make up for my lack of wisdom.
warren
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: West Warwick, Rhode Island
Posts: 30
I wish there is something I could say that could prevent you from going further down this road. I was as bad as you at 21, knew it then, and continued. My ability to "function" is what has led to the dissolution of my once-happy marriage and the fact that I may lose rights to see my son that I love beyond words. And I am educated, a writer, with my dream job and house etc. I kept on top of my addiction for 10 years, but it only ends one way.
Please act now, that's all I can say. The only thing you will feel going to an AA meeting is relief because EVERYONE in the room will understand where you're at. And that is an enormous comfort.
You still have a lot of time to resurrect your life. Don't give up.
Please act now, that's all I can say. The only thing you will feel going to an AA meeting is relief because EVERYONE in the room will understand where you're at. And that is an enormous comfort.
You still have a lot of time to resurrect your life. Don't give up.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 235
Thank you SO much to everyone that responded. :ghug
I have been thinking for some time that I need to attend AA. I'm currently reading the big book every night before I go to bed. I find comfort in having it with me on the couch when I'm watching tv even! I have no problem with the idea of AA, my grandfather became sober through AA years ago. I've grown up being aware that I may face this problem at some point in my life. I just never took it seriously until the past year when I took a good look at what I was doing, and what has happened to me as a result of my excessive drinking. Besides my grandfather getting sober through AA on my mothers side, my Dad's mother died of cirrhosis of the liver at a fairly young age, as did his sister. I've always known my chances of being an alcoholic were high...I've just never cared. I was too busy "having fun."
TTOSBT, I'm going to take your advice and start doing some research here at work. With the weekend approaching I know that's when I'll need the support/change the most. I've been through many uncomfortable moments in my life (as we all have) so I'm sure I can handle a few more...!
warrens, I'm not currently in college...I graduated about two years ago. My place of employment (I work for the State) does offer counseling services, etc through our insurance. I may look into that as well. Thank you so much for your support.
I realize change is never easy...especially drastic change. My mom has expressed how happy she is that I'm TRYING to take control of this now...versus the way many of my family members on both sides have never have. I will check back in soon...and continue slacking at work by reading posts!
Thanks again, everyone.
I have been thinking for some time that I need to attend AA. I'm currently reading the big book every night before I go to bed. I find comfort in having it with me on the couch when I'm watching tv even! I have no problem with the idea of AA, my grandfather became sober through AA years ago. I've grown up being aware that I may face this problem at some point in my life. I just never took it seriously until the past year when I took a good look at what I was doing, and what has happened to me as a result of my excessive drinking. Besides my grandfather getting sober through AA on my mothers side, my Dad's mother died of cirrhosis of the liver at a fairly young age, as did his sister. I've always known my chances of being an alcoholic were high...I've just never cared. I was too busy "having fun."
TTOSBT, I'm going to take your advice and start doing some research here at work. With the weekend approaching I know that's when I'll need the support/change the most. I've been through many uncomfortable moments in my life (as we all have) so I'm sure I can handle a few more...!
warrens, I'm not currently in college...I graduated about two years ago. My place of employment (I work for the State) does offer counseling services, etc through our insurance. I may look into that as well. Thank you so much for your support.
I realize change is never easy...especially drastic change. My mom has expressed how happy she is that I'm TRYING to take control of this now...versus the way many of my family members on both sides have never have. I will check back in soon...and continue slacking at work by reading posts!
Thanks again, everyone.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,060
Originally Posted by Lindsay 
I have been thinking for some time that I need to attend AA. I'm currently reading the big book every night before I go to bed. I find comfort in having it with me on the couch when I'm watching tv even! I have no problem with the idea of AA, my grandfather became sober through AA years ago.
"We are not a glum lot!". Seriously!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 235
Haha Astro...I'm sure that's the case around here as well!
My roommate went out again lastnight...I almost do feel as though she's trying to be supportive as she's not buying alcohol &/or drinking around me at home. That probably explains why she's gone out almost every night this week! Oh well, I prefer time by myself anyway.
She has also given suggestions of things we can do this weekend to keep me active. I don't know...I have a feeling we will slowly grow apart, which will be hard. But when drinking & partying has always been such a core part of your friendship, isn't it kind of expected? I don't want to feel like a burden to her, like she can't go out and do her own thing because she needs to spend sober time with me. She's VERY codependent though. I don't think she could handle me moving out &/or making new friends. We definitely have an odd friendship.
Anyway, Day 5 today and feeling much more positive than I did yesterday. I currently have no desire to drink after my last binge/breakdown. The thought of returning to that state of mind simply sickens me. I believe it may have been my rock bottom. My only concern at this point is the "alcohol voice" tricking me into thinking I'm just fine and can drink again...
HOWEVER, not drinking today!
My roommate went out again lastnight...I almost do feel as though she's trying to be supportive as she's not buying alcohol &/or drinking around me at home. That probably explains why she's gone out almost every night this week! Oh well, I prefer time by myself anyway.
She has also given suggestions of things we can do this weekend to keep me active. I don't know...I have a feeling we will slowly grow apart, which will be hard. But when drinking & partying has always been such a core part of your friendship, isn't it kind of expected? I don't want to feel like a burden to her, like she can't go out and do her own thing because she needs to spend sober time with me. She's VERY codependent though. I don't think she could handle me moving out &/or making new friends. We definitely have an odd friendship.
Anyway, Day 5 today and feeling much more positive than I did yesterday. I currently have no desire to drink after my last binge/breakdown. The thought of returning to that state of mind simply sickens me. I believe it may have been my rock bottom. My only concern at this point is the "alcohol voice" tricking me into thinking I'm just fine and can drink again...
HOWEVER, not drinking today!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
5 days!!! That is awesome and as far as any physical withdrawals by day 5 they are usually gone, insomnia can be a real bear for some folks for quite a while though.
The battle now will be a mental one, this is one battle that I spent years losing over and over again for numerous reasons, the primary ones being I had no idea how to stay sober and I was trying to stay sober alone.
For me this is where AA was the key to me being able to stay sober.
1. I was no longer alone, in the meetings I learned that there were a lot of people just like me who had gone through what I was going through and stayed sober, they gave me hope and love.
2. These people also knew how to stay sober because other recovered alcoholics had shared with them how they stayed sober. They shared with me how they stayed sober, they knew what I was talking about when I spoke about obsessing for a drink or how if I had one drink I had no idea how many I would have after that one or what I may or may not do while I was drinking.
3. The steps for me were the key to becoming comfortable in my own skin and being happily sober and learning how to live life sober one day at a time on lifes terms happy for the most part.
The battle now will be a mental one, this is one battle that I spent years losing over and over again for numerous reasons, the primary ones being I had no idea how to stay sober and I was trying to stay sober alone.
For me this is where AA was the key to me being able to stay sober.
1. I was no longer alone, in the meetings I learned that there were a lot of people just like me who had gone through what I was going through and stayed sober, they gave me hope and love.
2. These people also knew how to stay sober because other recovered alcoholics had shared with them how they stayed sober. They shared with me how they stayed sober, they knew what I was talking about when I spoke about obsessing for a drink or how if I had one drink I had no idea how many I would have after that one or what I may or may not do while I was drinking.
3. The steps for me were the key to becoming comfortable in my own skin and being happily sober and learning how to live life sober one day at a time on lifes terms happy for the most part.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Prince Frederick, MD
Posts: 72
Lindsay- I am the mother of a 23 year old AS. You tell your story so eloquently and well. I am struck by the intelligence and insight with which you write.
I hope when you are well into your sobriety you will consider reaching out to others with your story.
It sounds to me like you are rounding that corner and seeing life on the other side of alcohol. Keep up the good work!
I hope you keep posting on your progess. I would like to read your take on your first AA meeting.
I hope when you are well into your sobriety you will consider reaching out to others with your story.
It sounds to me like you are rounding that corner and seeing life on the other side of alcohol. Keep up the good work!
I hope you keep posting on your progess. I would like to read your take on your first AA meeting.
Last edited by Snickers008; 09-11-2008 at 07:53 AM. Reason: spelling
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 235
Snickers, thank you! I am strongly considering attending my first meeting this weekend when I'll likely be feeling most vulnerable. From past experiences with new situations I know that getting in the car & DRIVING there is half the battle. I'll be sure and let everyone know how it goes if I do go...
This may be a stupid question, but what does 'AS' stand for?
This may be a stupid question, but what does 'AS' stand for?
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
'AS' alcoholic son.
Lindsay one very important thing to remember is that every single person at that meeting had a "First" meeting!!!!
I was convinced I was in the wrong place my first meeting, the people all looked like folks I would see at the mall, they were from every social class and every profession you can imagine, heck there are lawyers, judges, doctors, and ministers in my area along with at least one cop, then there are the business men, the trades people, the students, house wifes, construction workers, you think of the group and they are there!
These people were laughing, talking to each other with smiles on their faces, I knew I was in the wrong place, because I sure did not feel like they felt!
Then the meeting began, they asked if there were any newcomers and I simply introduced myself. Well all these people started to share short versions of thier stories..... it was hearing them share thier own stories, they had been where I was at or far lower and today they were sober, happy, and free of the bondage of alcohol and self. They gave me HOPE of which at that time I had very little if any left.
They welcomed me with open arms, just like other recovering alcoholics had welcomed them when they came to thier first meeting.
As suggested show up 10-15 minutes early to help set up the meeting, by doing that I can assure you of at least one friend right one, the person setting up the meeting, we always like some help! LOL
Lindsay one very important thing to remember is that every single person at that meeting had a "First" meeting!!!!
I was convinced I was in the wrong place my first meeting, the people all looked like folks I would see at the mall, they were from every social class and every profession you can imagine, heck there are lawyers, judges, doctors, and ministers in my area along with at least one cop, then there are the business men, the trades people, the students, house wifes, construction workers, you think of the group and they are there!
These people were laughing, talking to each other with smiles on their faces, I knew I was in the wrong place, because I sure did not feel like they felt!
Then the meeting began, they asked if there were any newcomers and I simply introduced myself. Well all these people started to share short versions of thier stories..... it was hearing them share thier own stories, they had been where I was at or far lower and today they were sober, happy, and free of the bondage of alcohol and self. They gave me HOPE of which at that time I had very little if any left.
They welcomed me with open arms, just like other recovering alcoholics had welcomed them when they came to thier first meeting.
As suggested show up 10-15 minutes early to help set up the meeting, by doing that I can assure you of at least one friend right one, the person setting up the meeting, we always like some help! LOL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 235
Thanks Taz. It's strange, but in my mind I find it hard to believe that such meetings exist in my area. It's hard for me to fathom that there are many out there just like me...CLOSE to me! Ridiculous & untrue, I know...
Day 6 it is! I'm very proud of myself. I'd be willing to bet this is the longest amount of time I've gone in years without drinking. The weekend is ahead, but I plan on staying busy. I've gotten away from the "I'm never going to drink again" mind thought to simply tell myself that "I'm not drinking today". I've read it a million times a million different places and it's finally clicked in my mind. Haha. I've always just been an all or nothing, black or white type of person so it was a difficult concept for me to grasp.
I'm strongly considering relocating back home to be closer to my family. As I gain clarity being sober and start to think about how my life is going to change, I think it may be positive to have my family around. It's not something that's going to happen tomorrow, but I'm going to start applying for state/federal jobs back in PA (I prefer to work in the public sector, as I do now.) and hope for the best. I'm not set in stone with it just yet...just considering. It would allow for easier access to sober activities...and it's always nice to have family close.
I plan on starting to workout this weekend...need as many distractions as I can get!
Day 6 it is! I'm very proud of myself. I'd be willing to bet this is the longest amount of time I've gone in years without drinking. The weekend is ahead, but I plan on staying busy. I've gotten away from the "I'm never going to drink again" mind thought to simply tell myself that "I'm not drinking today". I've read it a million times a million different places and it's finally clicked in my mind. Haha. I've always just been an all or nothing, black or white type of person so it was a difficult concept for me to grasp.
I'm strongly considering relocating back home to be closer to my family. As I gain clarity being sober and start to think about how my life is going to change, I think it may be positive to have my family around. It's not something that's going to happen tomorrow, but I'm going to start applying for state/federal jobs back in PA (I prefer to work in the public sector, as I do now.) and hope for the best. I'm not set in stone with it just yet...just considering. It would allow for easier access to sober activities...and it's always nice to have family close.
I plan on starting to workout this weekend...need as many distractions as I can get!
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Lindsay, congratulations! You sound wonderful today.
I love the fact that you are thinking of healthy life choices but not jumping into anything just yet. Good for you!
I hope that you have a wonderful weekend and we are her eif you need us!
I love the fact that you are thinking of healthy life choices but not jumping into anything just yet. Good for you!
I hope that you have a wonderful weekend and we are her eif you need us!
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Hey Lindsay!!
Well done, you are doing great...it's so wonderful as the alcoholic fog clears...life begins!! I hope you make it to AA - not just to stay sober (good on you just for today!!! ) but also to meet some awesome people and get some real tools to live happily and productively!
Well done Lindsay!
Cathy31
x
Well done, you are doing great...it's so wonderful as the alcoholic fog clears...life begins!! I hope you make it to AA - not just to stay sober (good on you just for today!!!
) but also to meet some awesome people and get some real tools to live happily and productively!Well done Lindsay!
Cathy31
x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Prince Frederick, MD
Posts: 72
Wishing you a wonderful weekend, Lindsay! Somebody else on another post was speaking about how when you take an activity away that has taken up a lot of your time (i e drinking) make sure to replace it with something else. Plus you'll have so much TIME now to do other things and feel great while you are at it!
I don't know you but I am very proud of you!
It's worth it- you don't want to be in a situation like my highly intelligent, wonderful, educated son who just got back to back dui's and is facing jail time now. He is getting out of a 28 day rehab and will be going into a sober living home when they have an opening. Of course, living without a license is going to be difficult but it can be done.
The sad thing is, he was heavily involved in AA and about 9 months ago just let it slip away. He said he learning in rehab there were 36 signs of an impending relapse and he had 35 of them! I'll have to ask him which one he DIDN'T have!
Please start a new thread with how you did over the weekend....
I don't know you but I am very proud of you!
It's worth it- you don't want to be in a situation like my highly intelligent, wonderful, educated son who just got back to back dui's and is facing jail time now. He is getting out of a 28 day rehab and will be going into a sober living home when they have an opening. Of course, living without a license is going to be difficult but it can be done.
The sad thing is, he was heavily involved in AA and about 9 months ago just let it slip away. He said he learning in rehab there were 36 signs of an impending relapse and he had 35 of them! I'll have to ask him which one he DIDN'T have!
Please start a new thread with how you did over the weekend....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 235
Well, I had a wonderful weekend. It was my first sober weekend in YEARS!
Both Saturday and Sunday morning I got up around 5:30, got coffee and the newspaper and simply enjoyed NOT being hungover. I then put on my workout clothes and got a good hour and a half run in. I live by water, and there's this bridge I like to run that has a runner/bike lane. It's beautiful scenery, especially early in the morning when the sun's just coming up. I can't even explain how great I felt working out and pushing myself in a healthy way.
Needless to say, I felt like the damn energizer bunny. I re-arranged my room, cleaned the entire house, mowed the lawn, did all the laundry, walked my dog, did a lot of reading...
I talked to my mom on Sunday and she offered to pay for half of a gym membership, as she thinks it would be good for me to get in a routine to divert my attention. I've always belonged to a gym, it has recently just gotten too expensive for my budget. However, with her paying half I think I'll be ablel to handle it! I'm so excited to join, once I get in the workout mode I become extremely devoted/addicted. It's like a drug for me, but a good one!
Today is day 9 and I can't even express how happy/content/healthy I feel. My mentality and general outlook on life has improved significantly.
Both Saturday and Sunday morning I got up around 5:30, got coffee and the newspaper and simply enjoyed NOT being hungover. I then put on my workout clothes and got a good hour and a half run in. I live by water, and there's this bridge I like to run that has a runner/bike lane. It's beautiful scenery, especially early in the morning when the sun's just coming up. I can't even explain how great I felt working out and pushing myself in a healthy way.
Needless to say, I felt like the damn energizer bunny. I re-arranged my room, cleaned the entire house, mowed the lawn, did all the laundry, walked my dog, did a lot of reading...
I talked to my mom on Sunday and she offered to pay for half of a gym membership, as she thinks it would be good for me to get in a routine to divert my attention. I've always belonged to a gym, it has recently just gotten too expensive for my budget. However, with her paying half I think I'll be ablel to handle it! I'm so excited to join, once I get in the workout mode I become extremely devoted/addicted. It's like a drug for me, but a good one!
Today is day 9 and I can't even express how happy/content/healthy I feel. My mentality and general outlook on life has improved significantly.
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