My first post.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 235
My first post.
I have no idea where to start with this all, besides saying that I've recently (within the last 6 months) come to the realization that I need to stop drinking. I found this site a couple days ago and finally built up the nerve to post.
I'm 24 years old. I began drinking when I was in high school, but I would say the heavier/binge drinking didn't occur until I was in college. I partied my way through school. Somehow I managed to graduate, and with a decent GPA. General speaking, I would say I had a wonderful childhood. I don't have any underlying problems or emotional/mental issues that caused me to drink. My parents NEVER drank, due to the fact that they both grew up in alcoholic homes. If anything, I used alcohol as a social lubricant and to let loose where I normally may have been to shy to.
Throughout college I never viewed the drinking as a problem...probably due to the fact that there's this view that it's bsaically an acceptable thing to do when you're in college. Go to parties, get intoxicated beyond belief, go to class hungover...and REPEAT.
After I graduated from college I moved to a different state with my best friend to make a life of my own. My life has been great since graduation. I have a good job that I love, a good relationship with my family and friends, and essentially a care-free approach to life.
HOWEVER, my roommate and I have always fed off each other in a way that I am now finding to be negative. We made each other believe that it was ok/acceptable to drink in excess on a saturday morning. Or come home from class and drink until we passed out. I wouldn't say that she is an alcoholic as much as she has emotional problems and drinks to relax. She can have one beer and be ok.
I, however, have a problem with how MUCH I drink. Once I have that first beer/drink there's no telling when I'll stop. I would say over the past year there have only been a handful of nights that I came home from work and didn't drink 6-8 beers between the hours of 6 and 9PM. (My roommate will drink 3-5)I'm a binge drinker, and it's gotten progressively worse. The quantity has increased dramatically. Lately, I'll go out friday intending to just have a couple drinks with friends...but end up stopping on the way home for a 6 pack, going out the next morning for a 12 pack, drinking all day saturday...and basically straight through the weekend. There's no stopping me. Monday morning I come to work feeling awful. Like I was runover by a truck. I make the decision to not drink the rest of the work week. This usually lasts until about Thursday.
I have definitely had my share of legal troubles when it comes to alcohol. My freshman year of college I got sited for underage drinking. Then again my junior year. (lost my license for a full YEAR.) Then this past Novemeber I got sited for a DUI. I don't remember ANY of the night. I drove my car off the road, must have blacked out...until a cop was called to the scene. Nonone was hurt, thank god, but it scares me to no end that I could have easily killed myself or someone else that night. As a result of the DUI, i've had to be an abundance of fines...and had to get a new car. Drinking has caused me to be in a not-so-great financial situation. I have ruined MANY relationships with guys due to my out of control drinking/behavior. I have slept with numerous guys that I never would have had i been sober. Anything bad that has happened to me in my life has been a direct result of ALCOHOL. And I'm ashamed to admit that.
I've gotten to the point where I'm READY to give it up. I'm currently on day 3. My main problem is figuring out how to avoid the social drinking scene. That has been my life for the past 6 years! People I know, places I go, and things I do, for the most part involve alcohol. I know I couldn't go to our favorite spot on friday night and NOT drink.
It would be better for me if my roommate was more supportive of my situation. Alcohol does not ruin her life to the extent it does/has mine. Perhaps some day she will get to that point, but as of right now that's not the case. She got a 6 pack lastnight and tried to get me to funnel with her, but I refused. It was surprisingly easy, but it isn't always. I am 100% a functional alcoholic. I've recently starting reading AA. I'm trying to come home after work and workout, eat a healthy dinner, and focus all of my energy on my health and well being. Despite how ready I am to recover, it's still difficult to imagine my life without alochol.
If anyone is in a similar situation or has any suggestions it would be greatly appreciated.
I'm 24 years old. I began drinking when I was in high school, but I would say the heavier/binge drinking didn't occur until I was in college. I partied my way through school. Somehow I managed to graduate, and with a decent GPA. General speaking, I would say I had a wonderful childhood. I don't have any underlying problems or emotional/mental issues that caused me to drink. My parents NEVER drank, due to the fact that they both grew up in alcoholic homes. If anything, I used alcohol as a social lubricant and to let loose where I normally may have been to shy to.
Throughout college I never viewed the drinking as a problem...probably due to the fact that there's this view that it's bsaically an acceptable thing to do when you're in college. Go to parties, get intoxicated beyond belief, go to class hungover...and REPEAT.
After I graduated from college I moved to a different state with my best friend to make a life of my own. My life has been great since graduation. I have a good job that I love, a good relationship with my family and friends, and essentially a care-free approach to life.
HOWEVER, my roommate and I have always fed off each other in a way that I am now finding to be negative. We made each other believe that it was ok/acceptable to drink in excess on a saturday morning. Or come home from class and drink until we passed out. I wouldn't say that she is an alcoholic as much as she has emotional problems and drinks to relax. She can have one beer and be ok.
I, however, have a problem with how MUCH I drink. Once I have that first beer/drink there's no telling when I'll stop. I would say over the past year there have only been a handful of nights that I came home from work and didn't drink 6-8 beers between the hours of 6 and 9PM. (My roommate will drink 3-5)I'm a binge drinker, and it's gotten progressively worse. The quantity has increased dramatically. Lately, I'll go out friday intending to just have a couple drinks with friends...but end up stopping on the way home for a 6 pack, going out the next morning for a 12 pack, drinking all day saturday...and basically straight through the weekend. There's no stopping me. Monday morning I come to work feeling awful. Like I was runover by a truck. I make the decision to not drink the rest of the work week. This usually lasts until about Thursday.
I have definitely had my share of legal troubles when it comes to alcohol. My freshman year of college I got sited for underage drinking. Then again my junior year. (lost my license for a full YEAR.) Then this past Novemeber I got sited for a DUI. I don't remember ANY of the night. I drove my car off the road, must have blacked out...until a cop was called to the scene. Nonone was hurt, thank god, but it scares me to no end that I could have easily killed myself or someone else that night. As a result of the DUI, i've had to be an abundance of fines...and had to get a new car. Drinking has caused me to be in a not-so-great financial situation. I have ruined MANY relationships with guys due to my out of control drinking/behavior. I have slept with numerous guys that I never would have had i been sober. Anything bad that has happened to me in my life has been a direct result of ALCOHOL. And I'm ashamed to admit that.
I've gotten to the point where I'm READY to give it up. I'm currently on day 3. My main problem is figuring out how to avoid the social drinking scene. That has been my life for the past 6 years! People I know, places I go, and things I do, for the most part involve alcohol. I know I couldn't go to our favorite spot on friday night and NOT drink.
It would be better for me if my roommate was more supportive of my situation. Alcohol does not ruin her life to the extent it does/has mine. Perhaps some day she will get to that point, but as of right now that's not the case. She got a 6 pack lastnight and tried to get me to funnel with her, but I refused. It was surprisingly easy, but it isn't always. I am 100% a functional alcoholic. I've recently starting reading AA. I'm trying to come home after work and workout, eat a healthy dinner, and focus all of my energy on my health and well being. Despite how ready I am to recover, it's still difficult to imagine my life without alochol.
If anyone is in a similar situation or has any suggestions it would be greatly appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Southern States
Posts: 27
Welcome Lindsay, you are in a good place to find support. When I was 24 I too was in high swing with my drinking. I had crashed 3 cars, lost my license for over 2 years, and that was in the 80's when they were not hard on DUI's. I too was a binge drinker, but when I binged it could go for 24 to 48 hours. Blackouts were regular. I like you, didn't know how to stop. I would quit on my own for even months, but eventually give in when the anxieties and lonliness got excessive. I too had only friends who drank and didn't know how to do anything without alcohol involved.
I stepped into my first meeting when I was 26, I had begun drinking at age 11. I had my first child, and the night before I had gone drinking with him in the car with me. I can't remember where I went, who I was with, or how he and I got home. That was my first step in realizing that it wasn't just ME I was harming, but I could also kill my son and others. I too was frightened by the thought of never drinking again, but was told it was one minute at a time. I kept going to meetings, working the steps, and formed a close relationship with my HP. With each meeting I heard at least one thing I needed to hear and it became a little easier to cope. I did have to let go of the friends I had, actually as I became sober they gave me up, which was not a bad thing.
Today, I am 49, and have 4 wonderful beautiful children and life is awesome. Today if I dream about drinking, which I still do, not as often, I wake up in a cold sweat fearing that I had relapsed. Instead of not being able to imagine my life without alcohol today I can't imagine my life with it. The program now is like a way of life for me, all the promises in the BB have come true, I am able to truly love myself and my children, I find happiness in just living and I am blessed to be an alcoholic, the 12 step program gives me a way of life like no other.
Keep it simple, keep reading the BB, and hopefully you are ready to step through the doors of AA and meet some wonderful people who can help you as you work through this, one minute at a time, one day at a time. We are here for you as well, but physical meetings were vital to my recovery.
I stepped into my first meeting when I was 26, I had begun drinking at age 11. I had my first child, and the night before I had gone drinking with him in the car with me. I can't remember where I went, who I was with, or how he and I got home. That was my first step in realizing that it wasn't just ME I was harming, but I could also kill my son and others. I too was frightened by the thought of never drinking again, but was told it was one minute at a time. I kept going to meetings, working the steps, and formed a close relationship with my HP. With each meeting I heard at least one thing I needed to hear and it became a little easier to cope. I did have to let go of the friends I had, actually as I became sober they gave me up, which was not a bad thing.
Today, I am 49, and have 4 wonderful beautiful children and life is awesome. Today if I dream about drinking, which I still do, not as often, I wake up in a cold sweat fearing that I had relapsed. Instead of not being able to imagine my life without alcohol today I can't imagine my life with it. The program now is like a way of life for me, all the promises in the BB have come true, I am able to truly love myself and my children, I find happiness in just living and I am blessed to be an alcoholic, the 12 step program gives me a way of life like no other.
Keep it simple, keep reading the BB, and hopefully you are ready to step through the doors of AA and meet some wonderful people who can help you as you work through this, one minute at a time, one day at a time. We are here for you as well, but physical meetings were vital to my recovery.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Welcome Lindsay.
Yes, you are right where you need to be. You have already accomplished Step 1! You have admitted that you are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable.
Try not to think of it as not drinking for the rest of your life. Just take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. After all, the alcohol is not going anywhere. You can go back to being drunk and miserable any time you want.
Personally, while you are getting sober, I would NOT be hangin out with the roommate at home from 6-9 pm. Those were my drinking hours too! For the first 2 months I either went to an AA meeting or went to the gym. Now I can be home but often I would rather be bettering myself some way.
It is important that you get something positive out of being sober. I have made a new circle of friends and I am getting in shape.
Keep talking, we are here to listen! :ghug3
(By the way, sorry to take someone else's inventory but I do think your roommate has a drinking problem. Normal drinkers do not usually "funnel" beer on Tuesday night
)
Yes, you are right where you need to be. You have already accomplished Step 1! You have admitted that you are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable.
Try not to think of it as not drinking for the rest of your life. Just take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. After all, the alcohol is not going anywhere. You can go back to being drunk and miserable any time you want.
Personally, while you are getting sober, I would NOT be hangin out with the roommate at home from 6-9 pm. Those were my drinking hours too! For the first 2 months I either went to an AA meeting or went to the gym. Now I can be home but often I would rather be bettering myself some way.
It is important that you get something positive out of being sober. I have made a new circle of friends and I am getting in shape.
Keep talking, we are here to listen! :ghug3
(By the way, sorry to take someone else's inventory but I do think your roommate has a drinking problem. Normal drinkers do not usually "funnel" beer on Tuesday night
)
Retired Pro Drunk
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
Guess what? You're me! Or at least that's how I was back then.
High school drinking, heavy college drinking (because, hey, that's what college kids do, right?) but it didn't end there.
I too had a good childhood. Parents didn't drink much at all. Once in a rare while there might have been a glass of wine, special occaisions only, but that was it.
I, like you, can understand how people with emotional problems or have had some traumatic childhood experiences turn to alcohol. But why do people like you and me do it?
Have you considered that alcoholism is a disease? It's TRUE!!! As an alcoholic, my brain is wired very differently than a "normal" person. Alcohol has a very different effect on me than on others. The only cure for this is not to pick up any alcohol.
I've also come to find that I can't handle drugs at all either. That may be a "no-brainer." People shouldn't do drugs... yadda yadda... But there are some who can use illicit drugs recreationally and stop. I can't do that either. I will abuse anything I can get my hands on.
So, here I am - 36 years old, after 3 times in rehab (one lasting 5 months) and I've just figured this all out.
You have a distinct advantage. You are figuring this all out now, and at your age, that's a bonus.
If you are indeed an alcoholic, do yourself a favor. Do everything you can to arrest this now. Don't wait until things get so bad you have alienated yourself from all your friends and family.
When alcoholics drink, there are only (let me repeat - ONLY) 3 possible outcomes - jail, institutions, or death.
The first few days are the toughest. It gets easier. If you need support, there is plenty out there. Check out AA if you would like. And we are here for you too.
High school drinking, heavy college drinking (because, hey, that's what college kids do, right?) but it didn't end there.
I too had a good childhood. Parents didn't drink much at all. Once in a rare while there might have been a glass of wine, special occaisions only, but that was it.
I, like you, can understand how people with emotional problems or have had some traumatic childhood experiences turn to alcohol. But why do people like you and me do it?
Have you considered that alcoholism is a disease? It's TRUE!!! As an alcoholic, my brain is wired very differently than a "normal" person. Alcohol has a very different effect on me than on others. The only cure for this is not to pick up any alcohol.
I've also come to find that I can't handle drugs at all either. That may be a "no-brainer." People shouldn't do drugs... yadda yadda... But there are some who can use illicit drugs recreationally and stop. I can't do that either. I will abuse anything I can get my hands on.
So, here I am - 36 years old, after 3 times in rehab (one lasting 5 months) and I've just figured this all out.
You have a distinct advantage. You are figuring this all out now, and at your age, that's a bonus.
If you are indeed an alcoholic, do yourself a favor. Do everything you can to arrest this now. Don't wait until things get so bad you have alienated yourself from all your friends and family.
When alcoholics drink, there are only (let me repeat - ONLY) 3 possible outcomes - jail, institutions, or death.
The first few days are the toughest. It gets easier. If you need support, there is plenty out there. Check out AA if you would like. And we are here for you too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: here
Posts: 70
My drinking pattern was the same as yours. I too would binge all weekend, only with my job I would often start on Thursday afternoon and drink till Saturday. Not every weekend, but often enough to realize their was a problem. I'm 26 now and I quit drinking for 6 months when I was 24. Picked it right back up one day and it has been down hill from that point on. I've got 15 days sober right now. Not alot of advice here, just to let you know you are not alone in your situation.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 235
Thanks so much for the replies & warm welcome! I definitely think my breaking point was the DUI. I spent the night in jail (awful!) and ended up coming home and drinking for two days straight. I ended up calling in sick to work those two days which made me feel even worse.
benblesed5, your story was very inspirational for me. Mostly because I'm 24 and finally getting to the point where I'm thinking about settling down and having a family & kids. It's become VERY obvious to me that the main reason I've never really had a serious significant other is due to my drinking...not to mention the places I MEET the guys I meet. It's always such a drunken mess.
I'm not sure why, but the thought of going to a physical meeting for me at this point scares me. Maybe because I'm officially admitting I have a problem to other people. I think I'll do some research on meetings in my area...and hopefully begin to build up the courage to go to one soon.
I've had long (drunken) phone conversations with my mom about my drinking recently. I've told her I really want to stop, that everything that's gone wrong in my life is a result of drinking, but that it will be hard. Mostly due to the lifestyle I'm accustomed to and my living situation. She's mentioned that the main reason they never had alcohol in the house while I was growing up was that they feared my brother, sisiter, or I would become alcoholics. (as alcoholism runs in my family on both sides). It felt good admitting that to her that I knew I had a problem. I know both of my parents worry about it with me...I would love to get to the point where it's a known FACT that I no longer drink.
TTOSBT- You are completely right in doing something BESIDES hanging with my roommate from 6-9. I've always been a fitness/health freak kind of person before the alcohol became more of a problem. I've been trying to get back into that lately by coming home and immediately going for a run. For me, the high I get from breaking a sweat and getting a good workout it SO SO SO much better than getting drunk. I just have to continute to motivate myself to do so. I'm also trying to get a second job waitressing...I decided this would be beneficial in two ways. 1) Help pay off some debt that's mostly a result of the DUI. 2) Keep myself busy! I drink out of boredom A LOT as a way of entertaining myself, so I think the second job would be great for me.
In regards to my roommate...I suppose it's very possible she has a problem as well. For some reason I've never really viewed her in that light. She doesn't think she has a problem, which I think in turn has made me think the same. The funneling issue...my gosh...we've gone through about 3 funnels from the start of college until now. I'm ashamed to say that we used to use the funnel EVERY SINGLE NIGHT like it was completely normal up until the last month or so.
Again, thanks so much for the welcome!!!
I'm obviously not getting much done at work this morning!
benblesed5, your story was very inspirational for me. Mostly because I'm 24 and finally getting to the point where I'm thinking about settling down and having a family & kids. It's become VERY obvious to me that the main reason I've never really had a serious significant other is due to my drinking...not to mention the places I MEET the guys I meet. It's always such a drunken mess.
I'm not sure why, but the thought of going to a physical meeting for me at this point scares me. Maybe because I'm officially admitting I have a problem to other people. I think I'll do some research on meetings in my area...and hopefully begin to build up the courage to go to one soon.
I've had long (drunken) phone conversations with my mom about my drinking recently. I've told her I really want to stop, that everything that's gone wrong in my life is a result of drinking, but that it will be hard. Mostly due to the lifestyle I'm accustomed to and my living situation. She's mentioned that the main reason they never had alcohol in the house while I was growing up was that they feared my brother, sisiter, or I would become alcoholics. (as alcoholism runs in my family on both sides). It felt good admitting that to her that I knew I had a problem. I know both of my parents worry about it with me...I would love to get to the point where it's a known FACT that I no longer drink.
TTOSBT- You are completely right in doing something BESIDES hanging with my roommate from 6-9. I've always been a fitness/health freak kind of person before the alcohol became more of a problem. I've been trying to get back into that lately by coming home and immediately going for a run. For me, the high I get from breaking a sweat and getting a good workout it SO SO SO much better than getting drunk. I just have to continute to motivate myself to do so. I'm also trying to get a second job waitressing...I decided this would be beneficial in two ways. 1) Help pay off some debt that's mostly a result of the DUI. 2) Keep myself busy! I drink out of boredom A LOT as a way of entertaining myself, so I think the second job would be great for me.
In regards to my roommate...I suppose it's very possible she has a problem as well. For some reason I've never really viewed her in that light. She doesn't think she has a problem, which I think in turn has made me think the same. The funneling issue...my gosh...we've gone through about 3 funnels from the start of college until now. I'm ashamed to say that we used to use the funnel EVERY SINGLE NIGHT like it was completely normal up until the last month or so.
Again, thanks so much for the welcome!!!
I'm obviously not getting much done at work this morning!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Lindsay, my story although not quite like yours, is still the same when it comes to being powerless over alcohol once I put that first drink in me and my life becoming unmanageable..... well then of course I could throw in the one DUI! LOL
Any how as many others have shared here, for me AA was the answer, not only to drinking and friends, but also in having a life far better then I ever dreamed of.
Why not just call your local AA hotline, tell them how old you are and ask the person who answers what meetings they would suggest you start going to? BTW the person who answers the phone is a recovering alcoholic so they will know exactly how you feel.
Any how as many others have shared here, for me AA was the answer, not only to drinking and friends, but also in having a life far better then I ever dreamed of.
Why not just call your local AA hotline, tell them how old you are and ask the person who answers what meetings they would suggest you start going to? BTW the person who answers the phone is a recovering alcoholic so they will know exactly how you feel.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Hehe Lindsay, three funnels!
But seriously, your roommate may or may not have a drinking problem, but that is not your concern. If she is okay with it and not miserable, carry on I say. My brother is that way. He drinks a ton and his life revolves around alcohol. He is a VP at a very large company and they drink at lunch, after work, on business trips, etc. but he does not seem to have a problem with himself. So carry on. Personally I took myself to a place where I was miserable and hated myself. So here I am.
By the way, you do not have to say you are an alcoholic at an AA meeting. You do not have to be an alcoholic to go to a meeting, just have the desire to stop drinking. i am not sure how large your area is but check out and see if they have "young people"'s meetings in your area. I know they do here and you will find folks your age in the same place as you.
Best of luck to you!!!!!!
But seriously, your roommate may or may not have a drinking problem, but that is not your concern. If she is okay with it and not miserable, carry on I say.
My brother is that way. He drinks a ton and his life revolves around alcohol. He is a VP at a very large company and they drink at lunch, after work, on business trips, etc. but he does not seem to have a problem with himself. So carry on. Personally I took myself to a place where I was miserable and hated myself. So here I am. By the way, you do not have to say you are an alcoholic at an AA meeting. You do not have to be an alcoholic to go to a meeting, just have the desire to stop drinking. i am not sure how large your area is but check out and see if they have "young people"'s meetings in your area. I know they do here and you will find folks your age in the same place as you.
Best of luck to you!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 300
Hi Lindsay and WELCOME to SR!! You could replace "roomate" with "husband" in your post and I basically have the same situation. With one very important exception. It took me almost ten more years (I'm almost 34) to realize that alcohol was a serious problem in my life and I needed to stop drinking. When I was around your age, I too had racked up a DUI and was engaging in reckless behavior. It is only a miracle that I survived. Maybe it would be beneficial to explain to your roommate why you need to quit, and ask for her support. If she cannot do that, then maybe it is time to find a new roommate, or at least limit your interaction with her.
I would urge you not to waste the ten years that I did being drunk and hungover all the time. You have precious years ahead of you that you should enjoy with clarity and good health. Please take care of yourself and let us know how you're doing.
FD
I would urge you not to waste the ten years that I did being drunk and hungover all the time. You have precious years ahead of you that you should enjoy with clarity and good health. Please take care of yourself and let us know how you're doing.
FD
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 235
fallingdown, I completely agree that I need to explain to her the importance of my sobriety. I've been trying to do that today, but it seems like she doesn't think there's a problem. Not to harp on her, but she has problems with depression and went through a period where she wasn't as into going out and drinking as I was. Then, she decided to go on zoloft. A rather high dosage. She had taken this same dosage in H.S. and it worked, so she figured she'd get back on that same amount.
Well, I think it's WAY too much. She doesn't seem to care about anything like she used to. (She used to always be stressed out, had anxiety issues.) I'm glad she's happy now, but it's almost made her a different person. It's hard to explain, but I find it almost annoying sometimes. When she was drinking lastnight and I wasn't...I was extremely annoyed with her. Don't get me wrong, she's my best friend and I love her...but sometimes I think I'd be better off living by myself.
That issue will definitely be my biggest challenge. She doesn't see any problem in the drinking habits...we've collectively denied it for so long. I still semi-question whether I have an issue at times...but it's SO obvious that I do. I'd be kidding myself if I said I could have a healthy relationship with alcohol...
Well, I think it's WAY too much. She doesn't seem to care about anything like she used to. (She used to always be stressed out, had anxiety issues.) I'm glad she's happy now, but it's almost made her a different person. It's hard to explain, but I find it almost annoying sometimes. When she was drinking lastnight and I wasn't...I was extremely annoyed with her. Don't get me wrong, she's my best friend and I love her...but sometimes I think I'd be better off living by myself.
That issue will definitely be my biggest challenge. She doesn't see any problem in the drinking habits...we've collectively denied it for so long. I still semi-question whether I have an issue at times...but it's SO obvious that I do. I'd be kidding myself if I said I could have a healthy relationship with alcohol...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 300
"I still semi-question whether I have an issue at times...but it's SO obvious that I do. I'd be kidding myself if I said I could have a healthy relationship with alcohol..."
Yes and you are catching it at a critical time. At this point you can still move forward without any long lasting effects. You don't want to get to a point with this where you feel like you can't go backwards or forwards...believe me that is a scary place to be. You really sound bright and I have no doubt that if you put your mind to it, you can beat this thing. If your roommate is your best friend, she should HELP you regardless of whether or not she thinks there is a problem. Isn't it enough that you do?
Yes and you are catching it at a critical time. At this point you can still move forward without any long lasting effects. You don't want to get to a point with this where you feel like you can't go backwards or forwards...believe me that is a scary place to be. You really sound bright and I have no doubt that if you put your mind to it, you can beat this thing. If your roommate is your best friend, she should HELP you regardless of whether or not she thinks there is a problem. Isn't it enough that you do?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 235
I agree, fallingdown. I know she cares about me...but I also think there may be a bit of a selfish aspect to the situation for her. She views me as her "drinking buddy." Without me to go out and party with, her routine's all messed up. That's just the way I think she's seeing it right now. I also don't think she's taking me seriously. We've both said we needed to "slow down" in the past. That was a joke! Who knows, she may really end up cutting back on her drinking and eventually stop...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Lindsay,
Here is a great link to educate you on AA. All sides are covered, the good and bad.
Your First AA Meeting
If you are by chance in the Gulfport/Biloxi area, we are practically neighbors! I have been to some meetings over there and they are great. There are also womens only meetings if that would be appealing to you.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
Here is a great link to educate you on AA. All sides are covered, the good and bad.
Your First AA Meeting
If you are by chance in the Gulfport/Biloxi area, we are practically neighbors! I have been to some meetings over there and they are great. There are also womens only meetings if that would be appealing to you.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
.....Welcome to our Alcoholism ForumWhen I was drinking...all my social circle drank excessively
Everything we did had alcohol involved at some point.
I was working in bars/hotelsrestaurants.. quick cash and
drinking was an acceptable off duty activity.
Change....I had to change my lifestyle in order to become
the sober woman I desperately wanted to be.
I took an office job...ditched my still drinking lover..
Told my friends my decision and quit hanging out with drinkers.
I found my solution in AA....new non drinking friends
who shared my goals and I've never regretted my changes.
Good to see a new member...
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
[QUOTE=CarolD;1853045
I found my solution in AA....new non drinking friends
who shared my goals and I've never regretted my changes.
G.[/QUOTE]
Couldn't agree more...welcome!
I found my solution in AA....new non drinking friends
who shared my goals and I've never regretted my changes.
G.[/QUOTE]
Couldn't agree more...welcome!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NC
Posts: 24
Hey Lindsay - welcome. You'll find a ton of inspirational stories here as well as words of wisdom.
You're story is so similar to mine. My group is extremely social and of course there's always alcohol. I made excuses at first not to go anywhere, but I knew I would be miserable at home. The first month is definitely hard: you're trying to figure out if this the right decision, maybe I can just have one, and then you're friends will will mention and talk about when you start drinking again....The thing to remember is not to second guess yourself, you are doing this for your health and your sanity. If your roommate doesn't understand - list the things that you've done that make you feel ashamed for your drinking - describe the guilt and address specific incidents. These are your incidents so try not to attack her behavior - this is really about you.
Fast forward (I'm just past 90 days sober - after you begin the habit of saying 'no thanks, I'm good' people will stop asking if you want soemthing to drink. I've been drinking alot of lemonade because I don't like soda for dinner, and I get sick of water.
It's not easy, it's a lifestyle change, but like you said, just keep yourself busy rather than sitting at home. It's not easy to change, and there will be ups and downs. What keeps me sober is remembering the bad things from the first drink, until the bad stuff happens - and the first drink doesn't seem so exciting any more. Then you'll have good memories to form - no headaches (I don't miss that!), you'll be able to get up and go to the gym in the morning (I love to run early Saturday mornings at the beach), not having to make excuses why you can't do somethign with your family or friends because you feel like crap, scheduling other things around drinking because you know you'll feel like crap, productivity at work, checking off on the 'to-do' list.....
I could go on and on - but the important thing for you to remember, is there is support and when you feel weak or need to b*tch or complain - this is a good resource; everyone here has so many different experiences and they offer a wealth of knowledge and advice.
Good luck!
Julie
You're story is so similar to mine. My group is extremely social and of course there's always alcohol. I made excuses at first not to go anywhere, but I knew I would be miserable at home. The first month is definitely hard: you're trying to figure out if this the right decision, maybe I can just have one, and then you're friends will will mention and talk about when you start drinking again....The thing to remember is not to second guess yourself, you are doing this for your health and your sanity. If your roommate doesn't understand - list the things that you've done that make you feel ashamed for your drinking - describe the guilt and address specific incidents. These are your incidents so try not to attack her behavior - this is really about you.
Fast forward (I'm just past 90 days sober
- after you begin the habit of saying 'no thanks, I'm good' people will stop asking if you want soemthing to drink. I've been drinking alot of lemonade because I don't like soda for dinner, and I get sick of water.It's not easy, it's a lifestyle change, but like you said, just keep yourself busy rather than sitting at home. It's not easy to change, and there will be ups and downs. What keeps me sober is remembering the bad things from the first drink, until the bad stuff happens - and the first drink doesn't seem so exciting any more. Then you'll have good memories to form - no headaches (I don't miss that!), you'll be able to get up and go to the gym in the morning (I love to run early Saturday mornings at the beach), not having to make excuses why you can't do somethign with your family or friends because you feel like crap, scheduling other things around drinking because you know you'll feel like crap, productivity at work, checking off on the 'to-do' list.....
I could go on and on - but the important thing for you to remember, is there is support and when you feel weak or need to b*tch or complain - this is a good resource; everyone here has so many different experiences and they offer a wealth of knowledge and advice.
Good luck!
Julie
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 235
*update
So, about a month later...and two failed attempts later...I'm back to update. My last relapse resulted in a 4 day drinking binge. I became VERY emotional. I called my mom while I was intoxicated and admitted how bad my drinking had become. I was completely honest. Naturally, she freaked out. She thought it would be a good idea if I came home for two or so weeks to clear my mind and get away from my environment. While drunk & desperate, this sounded great...so the next day I woke up (somewhat out of it) and began my EIGHTEEN hour drive. I drove 7 hrs & stopped in a hotel. I went and got a 6 pack. Then another. I drank until I passed out. The following morning I got back on the road & drove for about a half hour before I realized I DID NOT WANT THIS, it was not the answer. Changing my surroundings would do nothing except make me feel pathetic for having to go home to my parents, and worry about losing my job for being gone...
So I turned around and drive 7 HRS back home.
I'm currently on day 4 & determined. I know I need a game plan, I know I need to go to a meeting, but I can't bring myself to do it. Mean while, my roommate is a bad influence. I thought after this emotional breakdown she'd recognize more so the severity...but continues to ask me to go to places we always drank at with her and "just get a diet coke." She doesn't understand that I'm not yet strong enough to do that. I have no control.
I'm afraid I'll simply begin to isolate myself due to lack of anything to do with myself... Sure, I can workout and be productive...but socially, I'm lacking. Everything I know to do involves alcohol.
I know changing my living situation would be ideal, but my financial situation really can't allow that. My roommate and I bought our house together about a year and a half ago...so I'd feel guilty up and leaving that commitment. The DUI has but stress on my financial situation STILL, almost a YEAR later...I'm struggling to even pay all of my bills as it is.
I'm just having a bad day. I've been emotional, somewhat in a daze, tired, and confused...Just had to vent...
So I turned around and drive 7 HRS back home.
I'm currently on day 4 & determined. I know I need a game plan, I know I need to go to a meeting, but I can't bring myself to do it. Mean while, my roommate is a bad influence. I thought after this emotional breakdown she'd recognize more so the severity...but continues to ask me to go to places we always drank at with her and "just get a diet coke." She doesn't understand that I'm not yet strong enough to do that. I have no control.
I'm afraid I'll simply begin to isolate myself due to lack of anything to do with myself... Sure, I can workout and be productive...but socially, I'm lacking. Everything I know to do involves alcohol.
I know changing my living situation would be ideal, but my financial situation really can't allow that. My roommate and I bought our house together about a year and a half ago...so I'd feel guilty up and leaving that commitment. The DUI has but stress on my financial situation STILL, almost a YEAR later...I'm struggling to even pay all of my bills as it is.
I'm just having a bad day. I've been emotional, somewhat in a daze, tired, and confused...Just had to vent...
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,047
Originally Posted by Lindsay 
I'm currently on day 4 & determined. I know I need a game plan, I know I need to go to a meeting, but I can't bring myself to do it. Mean while, my roommate is a bad influence. I thought after this emotional breakdown she'd recognize more so the severity...but continues to ask me to go to places we always drank at with her and "just get a diet coke." She doesn't understand that I'm not yet strong enough to do that. I have no control.
I'm afraid I'll simply begin to isolate myself due to lack of anything to do with myself... Sure, I can workout and be productive...but socially, I'm lacking. Everything I know to do involves alcohol.
I'm afraid I'll simply begin to isolate myself due to lack of anything to do with myself... Sure, I can workout and be productive...but socially, I'm lacking. Everything I know to do involves alcohol.
People, places, and things. If I'm to stay sober I have to change my lifestyle, so I don't hang out with the same people, I don't go to places that might trigger my addiction, and I don't do things (like isolate) that made it comfortable for me to drink. NO is a powerful word. Please use it with your roommate and let her know that you're done drinking.
Many of us live great lives and learn how to do things without alcohol. Putting the plug in the jug is the first step, learning to deal with the obsession and compulsion will be part of your journey in recovery. Keep reading and posting here and you'll see many ways that people stay sober.
And please don't disappear again! We miss the newcomers when they don't stick around.
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