beingjenagain

Today at my AA meeting it dawned on me that i just don't have all these issues everyone talks about. Can't I just be an alcohol because of my crappy gene pool? I am 100 days sober and have been thinking and writing and thinking some more but i just can't find some horrible event or miserable things!! I have happy, healthy, 25+ year sober supportive parents, a good job, a great daughter and a good husband who doesnt really bother me anymore than any one elses!

I just have a straight up addictive personality. As I make my inventory my only regrets are the times I ignored my daughter. i drank during the day out of boredom and i guess my genes just sent me over the edge....

any insight or thoughts or similar folks???

Dean62

I wondered the same thing for a long time. I never had stuff like other people so why did I love to get drunk all the time? Thinking I had no good issues for being the way I was kept me from sharing with others and getting the help I need to stay sober. I didn't ask for help because I didn't have anything I needed people to help me with.
:wtf2

I'm 45 now and thanks to years of heavy drinking I now have issues.

No you don't have to have issues to be an alcoholic. :ghug3

Stormy1119

You don't have to have issues to be an alcoholic.

Though I will say I'm a little jealous of your issue free life... I'm 24 and have at least 1/2 a notebook FULL of issues!

Tryin2Recover

Hi being...I felt and at times still do think like that also. I didnt have some horribly traumatic experience. I had a relatively great childhood. I wasnt sexually, physically or emotionally abused. I have two wonderful loving and married parents. I have a good extended family who are kind and caring. Im young, 24 and successfully graduated from college with my bachelors in biology.

And when I got to my 4th step, I hesitated. I couldnt find anything at first to write down. But once I gave it deeper thought, I started pulling up quite a few things I had resentments about, both with myself and with others. Further investigation revealed a good deal of character defects I was once ignorant to, along with many feelings and emotional insecurities and fears I used to cover up with my addiction.

You may not be the same as me, but there was some reason you drank, even if that reason was you have a highly addictive personality, which also could possibly be rooted in some unexposed character defect. Just keep searching, and keep coming back, and more will be revealed. Good luck!

Cathy31

I thought so too Jen, and it may well be true for you and that's ok...I guess it took me step 4 & then especially step 6&7 to realise the extent of my selfishness, self centredness, controlling nature and hurt I had caused. That was enough of 'issues' for me to want to get better.

Keep going!! Remember : identify don't compare - as long as you have the allergy to alcohol & the mental obsession you're in the right place.

cathy31
x

sugErspun

Alcoholism is what happens on the inside - not the outside. AA is a common solution for a common problem - alcoholism.

Can you control your drinking? That, is the common problem.

As far as the inventory - There are three parts (three inventories): Resentment/Fear/Sex Conduct

Check out the 4th step thread in the 12-step forum. There's a lot of good info there.

Tazman53

beingjenagain I had absolutely nothing except genes to attribute my alcoholism to. I had no childhood traumas of any sort, my parents were fantastic, they remain married until they died, there was only one tragic event and that was the death of a cousin in a car accident and it hurt, but it had nothing to do with my drinking.

My father was an alcoholic who quit drinking the day after I was born, his father was an alcoholic, my mothers father was as well, my brother is an alcoholic and my son is.

Issues????? The only issues I had/have are all mine, no one or event to put blame on.

You know I thought the same thing and slowly began to realize that when I heard someones story and they had no real issues leading to their drinking.... well it just did not stick in my head, when I heard folks share of physical abuse, verbal and sexual abuse, rape, & other tragedies, that stood out.

Kind of like the old saying.... The sticky wheel gets the oil. Do you remember good things you hear on the news for very long? I don't, but I sure do remember the bad things.

Listen a bit harder and I bet you will see that you are not unique, there are others like you and I who did not have any "issues" that may have led to thier alcoholism. Mine I can assure you was genetic and not due to issues...... except those in my head! LOL

beingjenagain

Thank you all so much for your input. I am getting over my uniqiness quite quickly! My Mom says that i need to be sure to interview my daughters potential mates carefully and make sure there is no alcoholism in their family! Ha Ha! Can we breed this horrible trait out of people. Wouldn't that be nice.

CarolD

As you know by now...
AA is working for you...why do you concern
yourself with others who have different experiences?

Are you doing your 4th Step?

dancinggirl

Sex inventory?! What's that? Probably for another thread, but that's the first I heard of that! Is there also a section for toilet habits and nose picking?!

beingjenagain

Yes I am writning it down and learning how to really meditate and be by myself (not alone) but by myself!

Tazman53

No nose picking and the Sex inventory has nothing to do with positions, preferences, or acts, it deals with.... well let me quote a part of it and you will get a better grasp of what it is all about:

Not that bad at all really.

Sugah

I remember in a group during rehab, the topic was "stinkin' thinkin"." Everyone in the group was giving examples of their own "stinkin' thinkin', and when it came to me, I said, "No, I don't think I've ever had any of that."

Questions to ask yourself:

Has my drinking ever affected my ability to carry out my responsibilities? Has my drinking ever affected my relationships with others? Has taking a drink ever been the most important item on my agenda?

The Big Book talks about how many of us are pretty decent people when we're sober. It's under the grip of the obsession for and compulsion to drink more alcohol that we exhibit those "issues." If I've ever drank more than I intended, done things (like driving, caring for my children, dealt with stress, embarrassed others, spent too much money, hurt someone's feelings, relaxed my morals, etc) while drinking that I wouldn't have done sober, I have some issues. Many of us find that those issues appear when we're sober, as well, though it might not be so for you. If you have a desire to be sober, I'm sure you're going to find negatives in your drinking, or why would you want to change?

My "no stinkin' thinkin' here" has become a mindset I used to have. Through rigorous honesty with myself and others, I've uncovered many things that have since been removed from me. Glad I stuck around. I hope you do, too, and find this a freeing journey.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Tommyh

Jen,you asked for thoughts or insights

I see you putting the blame for your drinking on genes and others....
as long as you do,you will not see the truth about yourself or your alcoholism....you still haven`t gotten enough honesty to really see your faults if you play the blame game,quit blaming and see where your part really is

you took the drinks and done whatever you did..accept the responsibility for it all and then you`ll be able to see it more clearly,and please stay from being a innocent little victim


take care and good luck
Tommy