kindablue

Well i was doing pretty good,till something rather troubling intruded on my sobriety.I've been in a relationship for about a year,she hated my drinking and tried to hang in there.i guess she couldn't wait for me anymore and more or less told me.though we still remained close and were still intimate.i thought things were on the upswing till i found out she was sleeping with my best friend.this totally rocked my world and i've been on a bender ever since.My emotions are all over the map:anger,jealousy,sorrow,feelings of worthlessness, but mostly rage .And trying to deal with that when your hungover is even worse,like i am as i post this.i can't get it out of my head,i'm trying to come to terms with it,but it ain't easy.i'm a mess right now over this and i know drinking only makes it worse.

CarolD

Time to focus on you...

HP and Meetings work for me.

Music

Hey Kinda,
I was told early on that when it came to drinking again, not only were there not any good reasons, there were definately no excuses. Nothing was acceptable. My definition of an excuse is: trying to find a reason where there is none. The responsibility for your drinking again sits squarely on your shoulders...noone else's. Likewise, the responsibility for you not drinking again sits in the same place. So, the way I see it, you need to move the "excuses" aside and make room for responsibility. This means, leave the two of them to themselves and start doing for yourself what you need to do. Personally, I'd start by reading "Freedom from Bondage" in the Big Book and do what it says about letting go of resentments. Then, I'd suggest you make a decision to not sit in your sh** any longer and get to a meeting, get a sponsor and start taking responsibility for your life from here on out. Oh, and by the way, a little prayer or two thrown into the mix wouldn't hurt either.

BikerBill8

Hey Kindablue, I know what you are going thru it happened to me the only difference is that i didn't drink over it I called my sponcer and went to more meetings than I use to. I shared about it In meetings and in time I got better. Hey who needs people like that anyway? Just don't drink and get to a meeting.
Be Cool BikerBill8

phoenix

It was a great freedom for me to finally realize that people,places,and things can't make me drink.No situation,however painful,can make me pick up a drink.I might have used those things to justify drinking,but the truth is that I drank because I am an alcoholic and that's what we do.I don't have to live like that anymore.Neither do you.You can have this freedom right now.

I've had plenty of difficult times since I got sober.I have been through divorce,lost jobs,and cared for my kid's dad for two years while lung cancer slowly killed him.It hurt like hell.But drinking would only have made it worse.Being sober allowed me to deal with these things with dignity,and a sense of peace.It can work that way for you too,if you are willing to follow a few suggestions.

First things first....get to a meeting

phoenix

DietCoke

Can I have an "AMEN!" sistah!?!?!?! I have been experiencing a similar situation this weekend, and my emotions have been all over the board. It is the perfect reason to get loaded. Had I not been sober for two weeks, I would have spent yesterday hung over as hell, and would have gone out tonight and gotten smashed and spent tomorrow hung over. However, I look into that bottle of Bud Ice Light (my how the words just roll off my tongue!!!) and I see the misery I experienced for the past six months. I put it back in the fridge (btw, beer is in my fridge because it's my roommate's--yeah I know, copout, but it's his). I ask myself,"Is it worth it?" Invariably, the answer is no.

I have found that getting back to the things that I enjoy--listening to Diana Krall, Sade, and other relaxing music--helps me cope tremendously. Also, I write in my journal a lot. Frequenting this board helps as well, because, in the couple weeks I have been here, I have found that there is always someone who is experiencing/has experienced the same things. I have even found a friend on this board with whom I chat frequently. I must admit, I am still kind of in the middle about the AA meetings, but so far, they seem to help with the desire to drink, not the depression that foments my desire to drink.

There must be something in your heart that has always been a pleasure and truly beautiful. For me, it has ALWAYS been music. When I hear Diana Krall or Sade or Natalie Maines, my blood pressure and anxiety go down almost immediately. If you can find that "happy" place, revel in it, wallow in it, let it engross you. Ultimately, it is much better than having the alcohol.

I do not want to hijack this thread, but I would like to know what you other members' "happy places" are. Is it music? movies? drawing? reading? In order not to divert attention from kindablue, I'll start another thread.

Good luck!

Peter

In the past rejection was the perfect excuse for me to go on a terrific bender and start wallowing around in my misery.

Somehow crying in my beer and feeling sorry for myself gave me a sick sort of satisfaction.

Holding on to my loss and disappointments only left me stuck in a lonely place.Today I am learning how to deal with the negative events in my life.......and move on....

Of course there has been a bad accident.But there is no sense in me standing there by the side of the road gawking at it.I have to keep the line moving.

"Dealing with it" involves me taking a good honest look at my part in the matter....talking about it with my sponsor and friends....and letting it go....

Not an easy task sometimes.But one I know I must exercise if I am to ensure my growth and survival.

justaround71

Do you really want to give her the power to get you to start drinking again? Because that is all that you are doing, giving her power over you. You said that you were feeling good until you gave her the power to let you drink again. Addiction loves to feed on these situatons. Get up, wipe the dirt off, and go to a meeting. And then another one.

kindablue

Ok today is a new day,wallowing in my misery drunk is not going to help a damn thing.i need to work through this sober,becasue
while drinking it makes it so much more miserable.i did use the situation as an excuse to drink i guess,i just couldn't get the situation out of my head,it was torturing me.So i drank,and it only made me feel worse.today i will not drink

phoenix

So now you know for sure that drinking doesn't fix anything

I had to learn it the hard way too.Lots of us are like that.But it's a new day,and from this point forward you have a fresh start.Take care and keep posting.

phoenix

marilyn s

We alcoholics will always find a reason to drink. Good times, bad times, feeling sorry for ourselves when lovers leave us because we're so hard to get along with. Eventually you won't even need a reason to drink. It will be so much a part of your routine, that's what you'll end up living for. People who are alive, and active, and passionate about something, are the ones who are attractive to others. Then you find the one you were so desperate for is not so such a siren anymore.