RufusACanal

Morning to all. As a grateful member of SR and one who lives life free through the miracle of AA, I would ask you to consider the waste of your good time and energy that is expended arguing the virtues of your chosen method of recovery in this Forum and realize who is truly neglected and by the continued combat concerning what works and what does not work in your chosen form of recovery.

This Forum is one the starting points for those who are seeking information concerning Alcoholism; either for themselves or a loved one. As I understand SR, this forum is not the place to defend any particular brand of recovery.

Years ago, a man told me I might want to really consider being the best example of the Big Book I could be in all of my affairs, as I may be the only example that a suffering man or woman may encounter. Have I been that example? No, though today I understand the real necessity of being a help rather than a hinderance.

Either you are here to offer the hand to the still suffering Alcoholic and or you are seeking a way to end the pain of active Alcoholism for yourself or a loved one; leave off the debate in this Forum please. Rising to the debate as the defender of your chosen recovery method does not give knowledge and help to the still suffering Alcoholic. Speaking of experience, strength and hope does help, if it is your experience, strength and hope.

This is my suggestion only; let me not forget why I am here, as a helper or to be helped.

Ron

Tazman53

Thanks Ron. I try to keep in mind that for every alcoholic there is a program of recovery, be it AA, SMART, WFS or what ever, I am here to stay sober myself and to share my experience, strength and hope I find in AA with out degrading any other program that works for others.

justanothrdrunk

So, what you're saying is that it's okay for someone to share their experience so long as that their experience reflects positively on AA/Big Book. If someone had a bad experience with AA, they should keep it to themselves?

(just playing devil's advocate here to promote discussion - I don't think that's really your point, but I can see how another might think that's what you're trying to say)

RufusACanal

Defense of any method does not help the newcomer seeking answers. You bring up an excellent example of what I preceive as the issue; "just playing devil's advocate here to promote discussion".

This Forum is for providing information about Alcoholism to the suffering Alcoholic and or to their loved ones by those who have information to help the Alcoholic and or their loved ones and not the debate concerning the brand of the Alcoholism recovery; the debate needs to be in my opinion, elsewhere. When posting here, I will ask myself if I am adding to or taking away from my ability to help the Alcoholic.

PaperDolls

It's one thing for someone to share their experience with AA, good or bad, but if a statement resembling this is added........
1) AA is horrible and it's a cult and the people are mean and no one should ever go and if you like it then your a stupid-head.
2) AA saved my life and anyone who doesn't like AA will die and needs to pull their head outta their behind and if you don't like it then you're a dumb-dumb.


Pretty silly if you ask me. Not that anyone did ..........

splendra

I want to support anyone trying to get clean regardless of which method they choose. I for one did not get clean thru AA. I know the way I did it may not work for you. I don't care how someone gets clean I just want to give support when I can.

LosingmyMisery

With all do respect, as a newcomer, I had all kinds of questions which conjured debate. I think healthy debate is normal. I came in with a sick mind and my mind told me to question everything. We are not sheep lead into slaughter. We should ask questions.

That is not to say that I do not get your point and why you started this thread. I don't enjoy constant bashing, but do understand that it will continue to happen for whatever reason. I do not encourage or condone bashing, but most likely can't stop it. It has gone on long before I entered into the scene and sadly will continue.

People have alternative motives and will do what they please. We can curb them, but they will always have the capability of getting in that first shot. I do believe that there are enough good people spreading the good word of recovery. We take the good with the bad and in the end will shine with good intentions.

Ananda

Sometimes it stops if others stop responding. I'm learning to let other's have the last word. I tend to hear the voice of reason when I am seeking and the angry or loud voices bounce right off my brain.

OK - I don't do it all that well, but I try!

Zanthos

I would ask you to consider that people are going to squabble. What others do will rarely reflect any one person's ideas of what others should be doing. Personally, I try not to play "the director" anymore.

p.s. I had to. I was going nuts!

PaperDolls

Very well said LMM.
I think you're right.
Asking questions is good and healthy and normal.
For me, asking lots of questions helps me learn and understand other points of view.

Jfanagle

Good topic. I have always felt that experience should be just that, consisting of the problem we faced, what we did to alleviate that problem and the length of time that the "remedy" the individual used has kept them sober.

When I have car problems I ask about mechanics and the result. No different here, I usually look at the profile of a particular advocate of a specific method of recovery and use the length of time sober to gauge just how much credence to apply to the "solution" that is being propagated. If the solution seems to have been one of longevity I become more interested in the method.

Debate serves very little purpose other than to inflame passion and in many cases passion clouds reason. We alcoholics are just a little prone to excess, and as such I look to results more than to claims. After all, I was the fellow who felt that my drinking wasn't a problem.

Good post and well worth remembering before I feel it necessary to carry MY good tidings like a club to beat others into my beliefs.

Thanks,

Jon

LosingmyMisery

While drinking, I was prone to arguing. It was all I knew, really. This carried on into my recovery. Coming into the program I knew nothing about it or sobriety. I was lazy and didn't want to put forth effort, but still wanted results. My first impulse was to argue, everything. The longer I pursued sobriety, things started making sense and I realized my arguments had no leg to stand on.

Today, I try to choose my words carefully. I try to look before I leap. I don't mind allowing others to choose their own beliefs. It is okay to have differing opinions. That wasn't always an easy thing due to my need to argue. I have discovered that my beliefs of yesterday are not necessarily my beliefs of today. If someone doesn't not stand by my beliefs, doesn't mean they will not some day. Right wrong or indifferent, what matters to me is sharing the solution.

The alcoholic who still suffers may not want to put forth the efforts or accept the truth. That is not to say they won't some day. I was that hopeless alcoholic and I finally got it. Since finding sobriety, my beliefs continue to evolve. There is always hope and good intentions are recognized.

miss communicat

thanks rufus for the suggestion. we all can benefit from a bit of course correcting from time to time.

as someone with long-ish term sobriety, via more than one program, including sobriety with no-program for years, all I know is that if we share our solutions, or at least, become willing to move out of the problem towards a solution in what we share, all goes well.

RufusACanal

...if it were not for you all. Thank you.

Dee74

Good post Rufus, but I particularly enjoyed PD's first post too.
Right on !

D

Ananda

Interesting....I have in my logical head decided I don't have a monopoly on "truth". But boy do I fall into thinking I do alot! I have to remember it is my idea of the truth and that I don't know somebody elses truth.

I was at a sponsorship workshop a few weeks ago and one lady kept saying "just tell them the truth" .... one of her sponsees ask - what is the truth. There was a long pause as she tried to figure out that one.

When I am sharing with people I am supose to ask myself 1. is it true; and 2. is it helpful.

Sometimes I can pause and do that today. It's taking a lot of practice though.

beingjenagain

People just love to fight and debate. It is human nature. I have never read anything on here that has truely offened me. It may or may not be MY opinion but it is just that an opinion.
Personally I am glad that a bunch of alkies can care enough about any program to defend or bash it!!

tennis71

Unless I am mistaken, a lot of debate and discussion went into the creation of the Big Book. If you ask me, the end result speaks for itself.

AW2486

I love it..

Debating about whether we should debate or not ..

Best recovering method .. anything that works !

:ghug2

Tazman53

To debate, or not to debate? That is the question!!!!