Tazman53

Softerlouder I just reread your post, first let me say that the only requirement to be a member of AA is a desire to stop drinking, sure sounds like you meet that requirement!

AA and the steps of AA benefit an awful lot of people who are not by the medical or AA definetion alcoholics, I would not be surprised if more then half of the members of AA do not and never have met the medical or AA definetion alcoholics, yet thier lifes have changed and they are happier today the they were before they worked the steps.

I beleive at last count there were over 100 different groups using the 12 steps developed by AA as a means of recovery from numerous issues in life.

The 12 steps of AA are a means of learning who we are and to better our selfs as well as a way of better living life on lifes terms.

The 12 steps of AA are a tremendous help to most situational depression, but are in no way meant to deal with "Clinical" depression, they will help, but with "Clinical" depression one needs to see a therapist and a phsychiatrist along with taking anti-depressant meds.

You have a desire to not drink so you qualify to be a member, there is nothing that says you have to identify your self as an alcoholic, you obviously at this point in time simply know that drinking causes problems in your life and your life is better if you do not drink.

It is possible that you are an alcoholic and your disease has not progressed to the "Full Blown" alcoholic phase, only you can tell that.

collinsmi

I would almost never stop at 1 or 2 drinks. When I came in, it seemed that alcohol was THE problem. It wasn't, my drinking was a problem, but the real problem was much deeper. If alcohol was THE problem, why didn't I just stop? What was so unsatisfactory about my living that I would always drink again, despite the inevitable horrific consequences? I was obsessed with the idea that someday, somehow, I could and would both control AND enjoy my drinking, but I could NEVER pull it off. Before I could make any progress at all, I had to concede to my innermost self that I was an alcoholic and that I could never drink safely again. I also had to stop drinking, one day at a time. This was the starting line. I know about being an alcoholic, and I know about recovering from alcoholism.

There are an awful lot of dead and dying alcoholics out there who got that way by clinging to the belief that they were different, and somehow, someday they would control and enjoy their drinking. I thought that way for a long time myself. Thank God I don't anymore.

BackToSquareOne

Yes but someone who has a few drinks a day does not have a drinking problem, in essence you would be trying to treat a problem that does not exist. Medical science has proven that those that have a few drinks a day live longer then those that do not drink. There are health benefits to a glass of wine or 2 a day and this has been proven. An alcoholic can't stop at a few drinks, I just proved this with my last binge after a year of sobriety.

Jomey

I hear what you are saying, BacktoSquareOne, but I think the essense of a "problem" is not how much you are drinking, but why you are drinking at all. I never drank more than 4 drinks in a day...yet I very much consider myself to have a problem with alcohol. Maybe I didn't wreck my liver (or other body parts) with alcohol, but I was trying to self-medicate anxiety with drinking, and even though I could go a week or a month or even nine months when I was pregnant without drinking, I was obsessing about drinking again, unable to solve the anxiety problem, because alcohol was causing part of it, and it was curing none of it. Yet, I couldn't put that together until I stopped drinking all together, and got into councelling.

My life has improved immensely since I stopped drinking- I had a lot of "yets" hanging around the fringes of my life that I didn't even realize were there - I would only drink in the evening, for example, and never enough to be more than buzzed, but I was alone here with my kids, and if something would have happened that they needed to be taken to the doctor or hospital and I would have had to drive them...that's a "yet" I don't even want to consider.

Just my two sense, but I think people can drink a "healthy, acceptable" amount of alcohol in a day, and still have a problem and may still benefit from AA and eliminating drinking from their lives. It's all in the motive - at least these two facts are my experience.

I hope softerlouder is still around.

With thanks for all the ESH I read here everyday, Jomey

justjo

Yes, I dont think Softer was asking if he was an alcoholic. He just wanted to see if anyone related to his particular drinking habit.
Its like a gambler, I know people who gamble everyday, some twice a week, some once a month. Does it matter if the urge is still there to do it and its bothering you.
Levels of anything your doing is a problem if you think its a problem. I just am so glad Softer actually saw this and is dealing with it. The potential is there for the problem to get worse if you let it.
I see that the other issues in life can affect the quantities or times you drink. My life has been a circus, and my doctor said the same thing. You are totally stressed now do something about it. Whats keeping you doing what youve always done. I think I have found the answer and Im working on it right now. Medical reasons, childhood whatever, dig deep Softer and look for the reasons. Things happen to our bodies because we are letting it happen. I see exactly how concerned you were about 1-4 drinks a day. I was really concerned too because I was pissed after that, woke feeling crappy and I dont care if someone drinks that or 4 bottles a day its the affects of it all on your own person and I think your post was valid. Its true you may not be a full blown alcoholic and sure an alcoholic would not understand where we are coming from possibly. A joke even but when you think about, at what level did they start and at what level did it get worse.
I wish you the best in your endeavours to a healthy lifestyle.
JJ

NoelleR

Many of the responders here have posted AA's Third Tradition, in that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, and that the Original Poster fit this requirement.......


The lines from the original post that sdtruck me are.....:

"...I don't plan on never drinking again, I just plan on my immediate goals of today, and at least 100 days. If I ever drink again it will be an occasional social drink not a routine ever again. But maybe AA has something that could help me, with stress, with life, with finding myself and learning to be happy being me? I don't know. I wish there were self help groups that fit my life, but I checked no luck..."

To me, this person wants to use AA to help him with his/her 'life' problems, not to quit drinking.....and from AA's Singleness of Purpose, AA is only an aide to recover from alcoholism.....niot all life's problems.......but then that's only my opinion......mebbe AA thinks differently.....? (but I don't think so)


NoelleR

Ananda

I'm not sure, but many people in my AA group say "I no longer have a drinking problem, I have a living problem".

A desire to stop drinking is pretty subjective and wide open.

Anyone is welcome to our AA groups here in town if they have the desire to not drink today.

CarolD

Some post have been removed because
of personal attacks on others and program bashing.
That means others were removed that
quoted the flamers to rebut/discuss/argue.

As the OP has stated he is leaving our site...
this thread is closed.

I'm certan we all wish Softerlouder the best.
Softerlouder is welcome to come share again.