having a rough spot
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Cleveland Ohio
Posts: 290
having a rough spot
I had a great week at work... a good weekend. and Whamo sunday comes and for some reason I hit a bottom. I thought perhaps I wasn't having issues with riding mania followed by depression but well... that great 2 week period of intense ability to work hard and be happy... came to an end.
Next thing I know I am hating my wife... wishing for a way out... longing for a drink.
I know this isn't real but it still hurts. Thank God I have a year plus sobriety, a home group, a sponsor... and I have been asked to lead this saturday (known about it for a couple weeks)... because to get to that first drink I would have to turn my back to all of that.
Depressive cycles suck... but they last longer if I feed them with booze.
Hear I am right back where I started over a year ago... feeling the same screwed up way... but the difference is... I know what to do now. Today I seek concious contact with my higher power. I will attempt to find serenity and peace through meditation and prayer. This too shall pass.
Next thing I know I am hating my wife... wishing for a way out... longing for a drink.
I know this isn't real but it still hurts. Thank God I have a year plus sobriety, a home group, a sponsor... and I have been asked to lead this saturday (known about it for a couple weeks)... because to get to that first drink I would have to turn my back to all of that.
Depressive cycles suck... but they last longer if I feed them with booze.
Hear I am right back where I started over a year ago... feeling the same screwed up way... but the difference is... I know what to do now. Today I seek concious contact with my higher power. I will attempt to find serenity and peace through meditation and prayer. This too shall pass.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Cleveland Ohio
Posts: 290
Thanks Carol...
I think I am feeling it worse this week because I thought I was past this. It had been quite a bit of time since I have been down here.
I took my gaurd down... I got too happy... I swung too high... and the pedulum has swung the other way.
I think I am feeling it worse this week because I thought I was past this. It had been quite a bit of time since I have been down here.
I took my gaurd down... I got too happy... I swung too high... and the pedulum has swung the other way.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I read somewhere that it's only after
sadness we find happiness.
I don't intellectulize my life or recovery
I will send out prayers for your comfort.
Hopefully... other members will share their experiences
sadness we find happiness.
I don't intellectulize my life or recoveryI will send out prayers for your comfort.
Hopefully... other members will share their experiences
Silly Rabbit
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 956
life is cyclical, you know? up, down, up, down... and so on until we pass. the nice thing is that the longer we stay sober, the more we appreciate the good times and the less we obsess about the bad times.
way to go, getting spiritual instead of smashed up.
way to go, getting spiritual instead of smashed up.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Yeah - I have found it more helpful to me to accept the highs and the lows. They seem to be a part of life. If I'm not drinking and taking all my medications as directed, the downs and ups don't end up causing me to create crazy situations.
One of my favorite spiritual readings was Dark Night of the Soul. It helped me to be more accepting and deal better with those down times.
Just hang in their and share honestly with at least your sponsor.
Thanks.
One of my favorite spiritual readings was Dark Night of the Soul. It helped me to be more accepting and deal better with those down times.
Just hang in their and share honestly with at least your sponsor.
Thanks.
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: U.K.
Posts: 195
Thanks Debaucher on reminding me what i gotta do- im new to recovery - been on a total 'pink cloud' all last week then this week been v low (i think doing my step 4 is draining me a bit- though i know it'll be worth it in the end.) I hope things get better for u soon- "It works if u work it", something i always hear and thats just what u doing, so you'll be fine im sure!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 51
Wow, thanks for that! That is exactly what scares me. On day 9 now I'm still High over my decision to quit once and for all this time and all the hope that that inspires.
Your share brings me back to reality..the pain isn't gone, it's just hiding at the moment.
Thanks for the warning! Hang in there! The sun will invariably come out tomorrow.
Your share brings me back to reality..the pain isn't gone, it's just hiding at the moment.
Thanks for the warning! Hang in there! The sun will invariably come out tomorrow.
Naturally Occuring Phenomenon
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 437
Originally Posted by Debaucher 
Depressive cycles suck... but they last longer if I feed them with booze....This too shall pass.
Thanks for sharing.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Debaucher my depression dissappeared after I had been sober for about 4-5 months, a lot of it was lifted after steps 4 & 5. I experience highs and lows, but not to the degree some others do, all I can do is offer prayers that you have this pass sooner then later.
Unigirl what helped me immensely when I was doing step 4 was reading the promises after step 5!! I can attest that if one does a good step 4 & 5 they do come true!!! Do not worry about getting step 4 perfect, no one does or can, just do the best you can, step 10 can be used to handle things that come to mind later and there is nothing that says one can not do more then one step 4 & 5 if they feel the need.
Unigirl what helped me immensely when I was doing step 4 was reading the promises after step 5!! I can attest that if one does a good step 4 & 5 they do come true!!! Do not worry about getting step 4 perfect, no one does or can, just do the best you can, step 10 can be used to handle things that come to mind later and there is nothing that says one can not do more then one step 4 & 5 if they feel the need.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Cleveland Ohio
Posts: 290
update
My mood is coming back. I feel emotionally tired today but that is a step up from yesterday. I had a yoga class last night and that helped some. I needed to quite the mental chatter. I got a good night sleep. Resftfull.
and dito on what taz said...
My mood is coming back. I feel emotionally tired today but that is a step up from yesterday. I had a yoga class last night and that helped some. I needed to quite the mental chatter. I got a good night sleep. Resftfull.
and dito on what taz said...
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not.
They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
They will always materialize if we work for them.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not.
They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
They will always materialize if we work for them.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Actually Debaucher I was talking about these promises after step #5:
Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.
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