Big list about my memory/brain/ocd... your opinions please.
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,202
Big list about my memory/brain/ocd... your opinions please.
I know you may be getting impatient with me but I want to fix my life, I'm over analytical but this is not my fault you see. Remember I am also autistic so it's like banging your head against a brick wall when you're talking to me. Regarding what I could be suffering from, alcoholism, brain damage, depression, anxiety *I don't know if it's anxiety*, ocd... my horrific medication withdrawal from January and the horrible 2 weeks of March which I am pleased to say I am back on 75mg of Lamictal which will be increased this Monday. Either way I'm going to list a few things that I've been experiencing lately and I'm not asking for medical help I'm just curious on what you think I might be suffering from... and I'll fix some loose ends if I mess up like say something that I didn't explain correctly.
1. My memory, my memory hasn't always been the greatest but it's been pretty weak lately. Now here's where I tie a loose end, could this be a symptom of boozing for the past couple years and even though I went off it for 24 days in December, and 27 days in February, I could still be suffering from it? Example after I write this whole thing I will maybe only remember like 5% of it or less.
2. My insane OCD as of late, it's been worse than ever... every time I see a dog hair in my house I begin to get uncomfortable, then my mind begins to wander... this is where I begin to wonder about myself, my life, how I cannot do things, how I am afraid of the phone *social phobia I assume*... before booze I was afraid of the phone but I had more ambition for things. I over analyze things ... I feel I don't understand certain grammar terms at times and have to sometimes hear it again... the OCD has been making me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. Even a FUNNY SHOW like Ren and Stimpy makes me scared that I'm losing my intelligence because I don't understand every word of it or sometimes a certain word of it.
3. Loss of passions/interests in the past few years. This alllll began from November 2005 as I've mentioned in my prior posts. Ever since my first alcohol withdrawal in November, *which I had been binging just getting used to the booze as a teenager type* that is where I developed my panic disorder, my anxiety, palpitations, chest pains, part of my OCD even though I had OCD before but it didn't make me feel as uncomfortable as it does now. I drowned my anxiety with booze and ever since then... from 2005, 2006 and most of 2007 I binged to get away from life, *smoked 4 cigs a night* watched movies to have more enjoyment with them, and to be more cheerful, so you see I became addicted to booze. I could be able to drink like 3 liters of boxed wine a night, but that was when I was a bad drunk not willing to stop, now I am. A prime example of my passion loss is my website, I have not put any sweat/work into it ever since I begun drinking and it's been 2 years and a half!
4. Overwhelment of little things, this is one of my hardest things... this is also involved with the OCD... whenever someone talks to me about things I don't know, I get overwhelmed quickly, I get scared/sad and I panic immediately.
Well I'll leave it at that so far, as you see... over analytical about the situation but this is my life and I have to make the right choices. I just wanted to see your opinions about if you think there is something wrong with me that maybe alcoholism isn't doing to me.
1. My memory, my memory hasn't always been the greatest but it's been pretty weak lately. Now here's where I tie a loose end, could this be a symptom of boozing for the past couple years and even though I went off it for 24 days in December, and 27 days in February, I could still be suffering from it? Example after I write this whole thing I will maybe only remember like 5% of it or less.
2. My insane OCD as of late, it's been worse than ever... every time I see a dog hair in my house I begin to get uncomfortable, then my mind begins to wander... this is where I begin to wonder about myself, my life, how I cannot do things, how I am afraid of the phone *social phobia I assume*... before booze I was afraid of the phone but I had more ambition for things. I over analyze things ... I feel I don't understand certain grammar terms at times and have to sometimes hear it again... the OCD has been making me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. Even a FUNNY SHOW like Ren and Stimpy makes me scared that I'm losing my intelligence because I don't understand every word of it or sometimes a certain word of it.
3. Loss of passions/interests in the past few years. This alllll began from November 2005 as I've mentioned in my prior posts. Ever since my first alcohol withdrawal in November, *which I had been binging just getting used to the booze as a teenager type* that is where I developed my panic disorder, my anxiety, palpitations, chest pains, part of my OCD even though I had OCD before but it didn't make me feel as uncomfortable as it does now. I drowned my anxiety with booze and ever since then... from 2005, 2006 and most of 2007 I binged to get away from life, *smoked 4 cigs a night* watched movies to have more enjoyment with them, and to be more cheerful, so you see I became addicted to booze. I could be able to drink like 3 liters of boxed wine a night, but that was when I was a bad drunk not willing to stop, now I am. A prime example of my passion loss is my website, I have not put any sweat/work into it ever since I begun drinking and it's been 2 years and a half!
4. Overwhelment of little things, this is one of my hardest things... this is also involved with the OCD... whenever someone talks to me about things I don't know, I get overwhelmed quickly, I get scared/sad and I panic immediately.
Well I'll leave it at that so far, as you see... over analytical about the situation but this is my life and I have to make the right choices. I just wanted to see your opinions about if you think there is something wrong with me that maybe alcoholism isn't doing to me.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Paulos
We can think ourself into many things. If something doesn't feel right I have two choices... think about it for days and in my mind make it worse then it could be or ask a Dr and find out what is what. Seems when I ask the Dr, I find that things are no where near what I thought they could be.
When it is said...keep it simple... that is hard for us who tend to think things out way past what is needed but with pratice and being proven over and over again that thinking so much doesn't help the situation...we do learn to keep it simple.
Rather then think on things...try looking for things to stay busy.
It took us time to get where we are, it will take a little bit of time for us to learn and grow. Keep it simple (even in our thoughts) will help the time pass faster and with a lot less worry.
We can think ourself into many things. If something doesn't feel right I have two choices... think about it for days and in my mind make it worse then it could be or ask a Dr and find out what is what. Seems when I ask the Dr, I find that things are no where near what I thought they could be.
When it is said...keep it simple... that is hard for us who tend to think things out way past what is needed but with pratice and being proven over and over again that thinking so much doesn't help the situation...we do learn to keep it simple.
Rather then think on things...try looking for things to stay busy.
It took us time to get where we are, it will take a little bit of time for us to learn and grow. Keep it simple (even in our thoughts) will help the time pass faster and with a lot less worry.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Sounds like it could be untreated alcoholism to me.
I exhibited most, if not all, of those symptoms when I was still drinking, and for some period of time into early recovery.
I also would self diagnose. Which, of course, lead to self medicating. My medicine of choice was booze.
Here's the good news.
1. My memory has returned.
2. I no longer wonder if I locked the door, or shut off the stove, etc when leaving the house.
3. I can check my mail without having an anxiety attack.
4. My passion for playing keyboards and piano has returned with a vengance. I'm also a hell of a lot better of a player than I used to be.
5. I rarely feel overwhelomed anymore.Everything is exactly as it should be right now.
6. When my head hits the pillow at night, I fall right asleep.
7. I am comfortable in my own skin.
This is all because I worked those 12 little steps. My sponsor told me when I came in "Don't try and figure this thing out....". I didn't, and it works.
BTW, I'm a little analytical myself. Heck, my job title is Analyst.
I exhibited most, if not all, of those symptoms when I was still drinking, and for some period of time into early recovery.
I also would self diagnose. Which, of course, lead to self medicating. My medicine of choice was booze.
Here's the good news.
1. My memory has returned.
2. I no longer wonder if I locked the door, or shut off the stove, etc when leaving the house.
3. I can check my mail without having an anxiety attack.
4. My passion for playing keyboards and piano has returned with a vengance. I'm also a hell of a lot better of a player than I used to be.
5. I rarely feel overwhelomed anymore.Everything is exactly as it should be right now.
6. When my head hits the pillow at night, I fall right asleep.
7. I am comfortable in my own skin.
This is all because I worked those 12 little steps. My sponsor told me when I came in "Don't try and figure this thing out....". I didn't, and it works.
BTW, I'm a little analytical myself. Heck, my job title is Analyst.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 113
way guilty of analyzing myself also.
my psychiatrist got me on the right meds, but still kept drinking
hope you have real good talk with yours if you can. its just been my route to here, but i had to realize the mental illness is no longer a valid excuse for me if it ever was.
now i'm going after alcohol
wish you the best too.
my psychiatrist got me on the right meds, but still kept drinking
hope you have real good talk with yours if you can. its just been my route to here, but i had to realize the mental illness is no longer a valid excuse for me if it ever was.
now i'm going after alcohol
wish you the best too.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Paulos until one stops drinking entirely and starts working on learning who they really are and changing them selfs there is no way a doctor or anyone else can tell what is wrong.
Untreated alcoholism prevents all other problems one has from being even diagnosed.
Until one stops drinking and works on their alcoholism no other probelms can be addressed.
BTW it does take more to treat alcoholism then simply not drinking, one must stop drinking and work on changing who they are in order to treat thier alcoholism.
Untreated alcoholism prevents all other problems one has from being even diagnosed.
Until one stops drinking and works on their alcoholism no other probelms can be addressed.
BTW it does take more to treat alcoholism then simply not drinking, one must stop drinking and work on changing who they are in order to treat thier alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
I am over analytical as well. I was way too smart for AA when I first got sober. Analyzed everything. Then one day my sponsor (who is working on his PhD, and also very over analytical) told me to quit worrying about why it works, and just do it.
My advice:
1. Don't drink
2. Go to meetings
3. Don't drink between meetings
4. Get a sponsor
5. Get to work on the steps.
You can then start to recover. KEEP IT SIMPLE.
My advice:
1. Don't drink
2. Go to meetings
3. Don't drink between meetings
4. Get a sponsor
5. Get to work on the steps.
You can then start to recover. KEEP IT SIMPLE.
Retired Pro Drunk
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
Originally Posted by Tazman53 
Paulos until one stops drinking entirely and starts working on learning who they really are and changing them selfs there is no way a doctor or anyone else can tell what is wrong.
I was having medical problems last summer and I was told (rather bluntly) by my doctor that there was nothing anyone could do for me until I eliminated alcohol from the equasion.
30 days sober - and the fog just begins to clear away. It can take 18-24 months for the brain to fully recover assuming there is no permanent damage.
Alcohol can mess with every system in the body. And everyone is different. You could go to a doctor with any range of symptoms and if chronic alcohol abuse is in the mix there's no telling the cause.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,202
18-24 months... to feel any better even? Jeez,well thanks justanoth, msh58, I was just trying to gather info if anyone felt the exact same way I did with my symptoms/problems during alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
Paulos - most symptoms for me subsided in the first 60 days.
Now I cannot speak for anyone else - but I think they are saying that the longer you go, the better it gets.
MOST cleared up for me and I felt pretty good after 28 days. Then I was better at 29, even better at 33 - and I felt completely normal by 60 days.
Now I cannot speak for anyone else - but I think they are saying that the longer you go, the better it gets.
MOST cleared up for me and I felt pretty good after 28 days. Then I was better at 29, even better at 33 - and I felt completely normal by 60 days.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: nyc
Posts: 6
Paulos, I don't know your medical history and can only assume that you are seeing a Psychiatrist since your taking Lamictal. It's difficult to get sober even without mental illness (Dual Diagnosis), but it would be a huge mistake to rely entirely on AA while trying to get sober. Talk to your doctor about how your feeling your anxiety memory loss, ocd symptoms and YOUR SOBRIETY, don't leave that out. Let him judge what is a symptom of your illness and if you need treatment. You may need a change in medication to get through this difficult time. Take your medications on time and don't change (go off) them with out talking with you doctor. Find an understanding sponsor. There are even AA meetings for people with dual diagnosis. With stable sobriety you will find that your medication needs will change and hopefully lessen.
And last but not least get to know your medications side effects and interactions. Though your fuzzy memory can be a part of early recovery the medication you mention Lamictal is known to cause memory problems . Once again talk to your doctor. You need to treat the nutter and the alcoholic to recover. You will get better. Find some meeting that you are comfortable talking about your problems. It gets better it really does.
Write me if you need to talk
And last but not least get to know your medications side effects and interactions. Though your fuzzy memory can be a part of early recovery the medication you mention Lamictal is known to cause memory problems . Once again talk to your doctor. You need to treat the nutter and the alcoholic to recover. You will get better. Find some meeting that you are comfortable talking about your problems. It gets better it really does.
Write me if you need to talk
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 179
The psych that I am seeing currently told me that an active alcoholic is usually misdiagnosed, and typically falls into the categories of many mental disorders. He said he likes to wait 6 months of sobriety until he gives a solid diagnosis of the actual problem. Alcohol can make people exhibit many symptoms of many different disorders. Myself, I saw a psych when I was active and was diagnosed with GAD, Bi-polar II, and PTSD. I was also borderline psychotic in his opinion. Most of these problems went away when I decided to put the drink down and start working on myself.
I joined AA just to stop drinking, but I am very attracted to the other changes that I see in people. Simply being patient, having tolerance, and loving other people. Not yelling at people in the grocery store or bank when I didn't get my way, not being a constant road-rager, not pushing people around so I can have it my way. I didn't know AA was about not only stopping drinking, but making yourself a better, more loving person. For me, it's not all about me but other people who deserve to be treated with respect.
I went to dinner with a few guys from AA when I joined and I was watching this old woman trying to open the door. It was a heavy door and she was having problems with it. I looked at her just said to myself "she's f%$#*d". An old-timer ran over and helped her with the door and helped her to her car. It blew my mind, helping her never crossed my mind but that was my first glimpse of being a nice, sober person. I don't think about other people too much, but I am trying to change that about myself.
I joined AA just to stop drinking, but I am very attracted to the other changes that I see in people. Simply being patient, having tolerance, and loving other people. Not yelling at people in the grocery store or bank when I didn't get my way, not being a constant road-rager, not pushing people around so I can have it my way. I didn't know AA was about not only stopping drinking, but making yourself a better, more loving person. For me, it's not all about me but other people who deserve to be treated with respect.
I went to dinner with a few guys from AA when I joined and I was watching this old woman trying to open the door. It was a heavy door and she was having problems with it. I looked at her just said to myself "she's f%$#*d". An old-timer ran over and helped her with the door and helped her to her car. It blew my mind, helping her never crossed my mind but that was my first glimpse of being a nice, sober person. I don't think about other people too much, but I am trying to change that about myself.
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