Paulos

How depressing to almost start all over, I'm just hoping those 27 days still mean something since they're all gone now... I'm still in my mom's room being depressed, and I really don't know what to do, not eating much either, Day 5 without my usual medications... when it's ON Day 7 that will be the last dose of Lamictal I take... darn I still feel so bad about screwing up on the 27th day I just can't get it out of my head, and I'm so worried about not being able to drive a car, following directions, my brain... even reading simple comics without always questioning if I understand and/or understood it 100%, even being at the forums gets overwhelming... in reality physically I feel good right now and I won't need detox this time around since I only drank one night in 27 days, but dam I'm still angry about losing those days... man... hard to keep your chin up especially during medication withdrawal and I'll tell you another thing... I feel so INSECURE lately about myself it makes me feel like I'm going to become more of an autistic person... if something happened to my mother right now I ... I don't know what I would do to be honest with you

reed

Just don't drink. Hang in there, everything gon' be alrigh'. Keep it positive.

Cathy31

Try not to isolate, get to a meeting to help you not isolate, pray, this too shall pass...your 27 days are not wasted - in no time you'll be there again. Let go and Let God/your conception of God.

Good luck, keep coming back, just for today !

Cathy31
x

1963comet

You started again, that is what counts is you came back. Might do you some good to get out of the house. I know when I just sit home I dwell on things. Need to get out of myself every now and then.

Texasblind

Fine, I'm gonna be the ******* here.

Work a ******* program! Any program! That's the only way you're gonna do it. Don't just hole up in a room and hope, do something!

I've been everywhere you are and it hurts...it hurts a lot! I'm no expert, there's plenty of people here who are, but you have to look outside yourself at this point.

Jesus, dude, be proactive!!

There, I just lost my SR membership, but it's worth it if you can get it together. I stopped in December, just like you. Difference is, I've made it stick through recovery. You can do it! I know you can! I love you Paulos, I love everyone here. Maybe that's silly through the internet, but it works for me. Something needs to work for you.

Paulos

Thanks guys for your caring and support, and Texas I've heard this stuff before, just especially now with my medication withdrawal it's harder than ever to do things.

sugErspun

Is there any hope for you Paulos? If it doesn't come from you, where is it going to come from?

I read all your posts...and there is one thing in common throughout them. You can't stop drinking even though you want to. Whether you have 1 day, 5 days, 24 or 27 days - you can't stop drinking. Maybe being tied to your mom will be the answer, but does she allow you to continue to drink even though you don't want to?

What can be done about it? Is it time that you be accountable to someone other than yourself?

collinsmi

Doesn't matter what you hear, I heard the same stuff for 14 years before I was willing enough to act on it. It worked fine once I tried it.

Dee74

hang in there Paulos...you didn't lose 27 days...you gained 27 days sobriety...learn from what went wrong, mate...

and I've followed your story for a while too. Check out all the options by all means, but never feel pressured to run someone else's program - do what you want to do.

The only program that works is the one that makes sense to you and that you come to willingly

congrats on day 2
D

User_Name

I would suggest finding a program that you are comfortable with and working that. I couldn't stop on my own. Finding people who understand is key. I am positive there are people out there who are just like you, and who have the same story as you who could help you stop.

Something bad had to have happened to get you here, but something good can come from it. When I say my prayers in the morning and night you are in them, just to let you know. I hope you can find peace.

LosingmyMisery

Why did you drink? Fear, anxiety, anger, or maybe because that is all you know. It is going to take work to undo the impulse to drink in order to deal with your emotions. Research all your options, pick one, then work it throughly. Things don't change over night. I couldn't will myself to stop drinking no matter how bad I wanted to quit. I had to work at it and continue to work at it. The efforts are well worth it! Keep trying!

nandm

Paulos, I have read your posts since the very first one. In fact I am one of the first people you spoke with. I am truly sorry you are struggling. I hope that you find a way to find peace and sobriety. What I have read in your posts is that you desperately want to stop but can not seem to let go of the fact that trying to do it on your own has not worked for you. You have tried that repeatedly here and each time wound up drunk again. When will you realize that none of us are supermen or women. A large percentage of us were not able to fight alcohol alone we needed help to do that. I hope you will reconsider and check into, and start a program of recovery. Regardless of what program you choose it can not be worse than what you have been doing. Here again is a link to a listing of recovery programs, I hope you will use it:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

tiburon88

Paulos, I often see you worried sick about withdrawal. I don't think you drink enough to worry about withdrawal. I relate to you about withdrawal from psych meds. I recently came off of Elavil and Serequal for 1 week when I was in jail.
It was a very stressful time.

Grace2u

Paulos,

Get thine butt to an AA meeting.

Look around you.

Find someone who may be worse off than you, and see if you can help that person.

You need to get out of your own head.

Look for opportunities to serve, to give, to love. Make the coffee. Help to set the chairs up.

Paulo, you will, you MUST, get beyond this. You simply have no choice. I know you can do it! Keep posting.