Am I welcome here even if I don't use a program?
1000 Post Club
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,202
Am I welcome here even if I don't use a program?
I know you're all trying to help me with your experience and such but I know I messed up and I'm on a new campaign, I have a new motivation how the booze is NOT the answer, I understand that now and won't do it again.
My question is am I welcome here since I usually oppose the things you all tell me to do?
My question is am I welcome here since I usually oppose the things you all tell me to do?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Of course you are welcome as far as I am concerned Paulos...!
Just know that from me, all I can give you is my experience, strength and hope from AA. That's what works for me. I know that "Ken's Program" did not work, nor did any personal development stuff, will power, or the like. AA worked, when I worked it, and that's what I stick to. I certainly would not put down any other methods, and you are surely free to try whatever you want...
Hope you find your way...
Ken
Just know that from me, all I can give you is my experience, strength and hope from AA. That's what works for me. I know that "Ken's Program" did not work, nor did any personal development stuff, will power, or the like. AA worked, when I worked it, and that's what I stick to. I certainly would not put down any other methods, and you are surely free to try whatever you want...
Hope you find your way...
Ken
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Mobile AL
Posts: 101
Paulos.....like I said.....do what's best for you...because you deserve the best! I think you have so much support right here! We have all stumbled, we have all fallen. What's important is keep trying!
"Never give up; never stop trying"
:ghug3
K
"Never give up; never stop trying"
:ghug3
K
Naturally Occuring Phenomenon
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 437
I don't see why you can't hang out here. I don't think there is a criteria here for membership to the forum because they just let me on here without any fuss. Actually, everyone was pretty chill about it.
Paulos, get a recovery program. I could not stay sober without AA and a sponsor and the 12 steps. I'm freaking far from perfect with it, especially with the steps. However, its not something that I necessarily "want" to do. When enough people tell ya to do it, ya do it. Just "because." I'm 4 months sober (and I know thats nothing) and I still can't believe it. Hey, atleast give it a try, sideline some meetings or something. Its better than nothing.
thru death to life
Reed
Paulos, get a recovery program. I could not stay sober without AA and a sponsor and the 12 steps. I'm freaking far from perfect with it, especially with the steps. However, its not something that I necessarily "want" to do. When enough people tell ya to do it, ya do it. Just "because." I'm 4 months sober (and I know thats nothing) and I still can't believe it. Hey, atleast give it a try, sideline some meetings or something. Its better than nothing.
thru death to life
Reed
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Plymouth, MN
Posts: 960
You are very welcome here! You belong here as much as anyone else. Not everyone's program works for everyone else, but there is a lot of wisdom here. Sometimes we have to look and see how "our program" worked for us and decide what the heck, why not try it another way. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.
Hang in here and you'll figure it out!
Hang in here and you'll figure it out!
Glad to be here
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 178
Originally Posted by Kit 
Yes Paulos, please feel welcome!!!! I'm not in any kind of program either. This site is my program and it is working for me.
Love, Kit
Love, Kit
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Southern New Hampshire
Posts: 746
We are all teachers and students
Paulos, of course you are welcome. It is no secret I am a hardline conservative by the book AA guy, this doesn't mean that there are other ways to recover, of course there are, some regular members here on the SR community are living testamonials to this fact.
I say often that we are all teachers and students. You are teaching me a great deal, if this campaign of yours doesn't go well, there are folks here willing to help you.
I say often that we are all teachers and students. You are teaching me a great deal, if this campaign of yours doesn't go well, there are folks here willing to help you.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Paulos you know you are welcome here, program or no program, you are trying to get sober, that is what matters!
There are those here who are not part of a program, but they have worked on changing them selfs, in reality they have thier personal program of change. I can assure you that anyone here with any real amount of time sober did not stay sober by just not drinking!
The ones with out a program have changed things about them selves and what they do in thier lifes on a day to day basis, they did far more then just not drink.
I tried my way for 10 years and wound up a full blown alcoholic who had no choice physically or mentally in the end, I had to drink every day or really bad things started to happen to me and I am not talking about not being able to sleep or being anxious or paranoid.
I took the easier softer way and went to AA, there I found people who loved me and were more then happy to share with me what they did to stay sober and be happy as well.
Paulos you may not know this, but I care about you, I want nothing more then to see you stay sober and be happy, I could care less if you use a program or not, the only thing I can do to help is share with you my experience in how I got and stay sober today, not only sober, but happy.
There are those here who are not part of a program, but they have worked on changing them selfs, in reality they have thier personal program of change. I can assure you that anyone here with any real amount of time sober did not stay sober by just not drinking!
The ones with out a program have changed things about them selves and what they do in thier lifes on a day to day basis, they did far more then just not drink.
I tried my way for 10 years and wound up a full blown alcoholic who had no choice physically or mentally in the end, I had to drink every day or really bad things started to happen to me and I am not talking about not being able to sleep or being anxious or paranoid.
I took the easier softer way and went to AA, there I found people who loved me and were more then happy to share with me what they did to stay sober and be happy as well.
Paulos you may not know this, but I care about you, I want nothing more then to see you stay sober and be happy, I could care less if you use a program or not, the only thing I can do to help is share with you my experience in how I got and stay sober today, not only sober, but happy.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 565
I'm on day 60 "something", and not drinking sucks! But, it has to be done. I don't care how you or I do it, but it has to be done.
I go to meetings, I read the books, I do whatever I have to do to stay sober. It's not just about a program, it's about staying sober; no matter what.
I go to meetings, I read the books, I do whatever I have to do to stay sober. It's not just about a program, it's about staying sober; no matter what.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 170
Of course you’re welcome and I have benefited greatly to what you have had to say. You’re on a recovery forum if you don’t want to recover and are not interested in anything that resembles some sort of solution to your problems then why are you here?
If you came to my house while I was drinking I always had some sort of recovery book out. People used to laugh but the people who cared the most said there’s a sick guy looking for a solution. This is what I see here.
I knew this one guy he would always come to the meeting half in the bag. Week after week someone from our group would have to take him out side and listen to his drunkenness. This went on for years we took care of this guy and listened to his problems but we didn’t give him the love that he needed.
We decided to leave him alone and when he was drinking started to ask him to leave. At times the police even had to be called. Then know one from the group heard from him for a good 6 months. One day I was driving down this hill in back of a bus. There he was in detox pajamas chasing the dam bus banging on the door as it drove. Later I heard he escaped from the local rehab and they wouldn’t give him back his cloths.
Months later I was asked to speak at a halfway house and there he was sober, healthy and barley recognizable. I had to look twice and even a third time to recognize him he looked that good.
I have seen dozens and dozens of people die from alcoholism and drug addiction. Looking over some past threads I’ve even seen it here on SR. I’m not interested in reading a post that has your obituary attached to it or mine for that matter. So I think I’ll keep doing the next right thing. Good Luck…
If you came to my house while I was drinking I always had some sort of recovery book out. People used to laugh but the people who cared the most said there’s a sick guy looking for a solution. This is what I see here.
I knew this one guy he would always come to the meeting half in the bag. Week after week someone from our group would have to take him out side and listen to his drunkenness. This went on for years we took care of this guy and listened to his problems but we didn’t give him the love that he needed.
We decided to leave him alone and when he was drinking started to ask him to leave. At times the police even had to be called. Then know one from the group heard from him for a good 6 months. One day I was driving down this hill in back of a bus. There he was in detox pajamas chasing the dam bus banging on the door as it drove. Later I heard he escaped from the local rehab and they wouldn’t give him back his cloths.
Months later I was asked to speak at a halfway house and there he was sober, healthy and barley recognizable. I had to look twice and even a third time to recognize him he looked that good.
I have seen dozens and dozens of people die from alcoholism and drug addiction. Looking over some past threads I’ve even seen it here on SR. I’m not interested in reading a post that has your obituary attached to it or mine for that matter. So I think I’ll keep doing the next right thing. Good Luck…
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Well heck yes you are welcome! If nothing else, your posts remind me of where I don't want to end up at
Paulos you play a ton of video games, do you play any of them where you just can not win a level with out you and another player working together to win?
For me if "Staying stopped" was a video game I can honestly say that was one game I could not win alone, I had to have others show me and help me fight the beast in order to win.
God is my benzo
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Charlotte, nc
Posts: 198
by all means paulos. don't ever let anyone make you think otherwise. and don't let anyone make you feel like your contributions don't matter. you help people by being here and you probably don't even realize it.
The reason we all emphasize some type of program is because most of us tried doing it ourselves and failed. I know that to be true for myself.
Another video game reference: why go into a battle with a pistol when you can have a BFG or a chaingun.
Whatever it takes for you, I hope you find it and keep comin back.
and just curious paulos, what is it that makes you want to do this alone?
The reason we all emphasize some type of program is because most of us tried doing it ourselves and failed. I know that to be true for myself.
Another video game reference: why go into a battle with a pistol when you can have a BFG or a chaingun.
Whatever it takes for you, I hope you find it and keep comin back.
and just curious paulos, what is it that makes you want to do this alone?
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