reed

good job on the soberness paulos, keep it up. find an AA meeting and get a 30 day chip soon.

I agree with zoomer's suggestions and comments
&
I'm only vaguely aware your situation, but I gotta say you gotta try to get out and live. Seems like your spending alot of time in your own head. Oh, and the daylights saving time thing, who cares we'll all figure it out. Life is too short to think about stuff like that, its all relative bullsh*t. Alot of life is just flavored bullsh*t...try to let your guard down a bit...your sobriety is important, good job, take care of it.

Paulos

"Oh, and the daylights saving time thing, who cares we'll all figure it out. Life is too short to think about stuff like that, its all relative bullsh*t. Alot of life is just flavored bullsh*t...try to let your guard down a bit...your sobriety is important, good job, take care of it."

Thanks reed.

reed

Its true man, society can make stuff so compliated and everyone is throwing bullsh*t around. Sometimes you just gotta put yourself out there & tell yourself "f*ck em!" and smile on the inside. & you smile because you are happy with who the f*ck you are on the inside cause thats the way God made ya & ya were (thank God) born again today. And its a f*cking miracle ya get another chance to try again & be a better person. Ya don't let some assh*le put you off, you go out into the cruel world and ya say "its me paulos (in your head) and if you don't like it then you probably don't like who you are so ****ing deal with your problems but don't wipe em off on me". And you go out there & ya find out that there some people (like in this here forum) who have enough respect & manners & who just go with the flow of life & they are all spreading positive vibes and givin ya messages & helpin you out & your helpin them out. And its all good.

Tommyh

it`s too late if I take a drink,not before

User_Name

I found that when I was counting days I was setting expectations for myself about how I was "supposed" to feel after so many days. I thought that after a month I would feel better than I did at one week, after 60 days I "should" feel better than I did at 30 days. As it turns out, I stopped counting days and decided to try to live each day to the best of my ability. I just focus on doing my best for that day, and leaving tomorrow until tomorrow.

Counting days is nice since you can have something to be proud of, yet nothing really matters except today. Try to get out of your own head and do something. Go to an AA meeting and just sit in the back and listen, go for a long walk, get out of the house and do something different. Ride a bicycle for a while, read a book or watch a stupid movie. It really helps me to get out of my own head. I found that AA meetings are great, and if you are afraid to go you can always just sit and listen. You don't have to do or say anything if you don't want to.

RJS

Paulos, you are so swamped in self pity you could literally have me heading for the toilet right now.
It's crap. Welcome to the club. Disgusting, gut wrenching self pity. I, we, have all been there.
There is a spark of better things under it or you would not have pressed this far.
If you are like me, you may not one day laugh at these times, but they will be a part of your past. I in no way mean to make light of your circumstances. But I do ask you, Can you now accept this as just the way things are in a world of as things are and press forward to better things. They are offered. May God be with you.

zoomer

Paulos, I just got back my test score in one of my classes I take. I got a perfect score. The highest grade in the class. Last week again I got another highest test score in another class. Not too shabby for one with a learning disability,hearing impairment,bi-polar, alcoholic and parent of a disabled kid. I did't get the score because I'm super smart, I got it because I try real hard and I over come my disabilities by working on my abilities. I got a GPA of 3.75 in my paralegal studies and a 3.3 in my human services studies. I had a rotten childhood, never got help for my learning disability, so I dropped out of school in the 8th grade. We all can and do over come our disabilities even if it's small steps. Heck I work 30 hours a week busting my ass in a waitress job because it's the only job that I can get so I'd beable to be with my kids during the day and still make $15 an hour. I got help Paulos from first the rehab I went to and then govenment agencies. Today I do things on my own with the help of AA (for my drinking) and a good shrink that know what the hell to do with my medication. I take responciblity for myself by taking my meds, talking to my doctor and telling the truth and by going to AA. I'm just letting you know that even while I was growing up my family use to say I could not a thing because I was too dumb. They even thought I was too dumb and too much of a spaz to drive. I did't learn how to drive until one day a boyfriend's father said there was nothing wrong with me and that anyone could learn to drive. I was 25 years old. And from that I learned how to drive my life. I'm not much on higher power or God,but I do believe in the power of the right people to stear my life in the right direction. I can see your determined not to drink. Good for you! Now lets see how your going to change your life so that you never have to drink again and to be happy.