What the..?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,589
Steph,
I'm glad you're feeling better!
It's good to be able to laugh at ourselves. Sometimes what we are going through is just so much to deal with, a good laugh really helps. :bounce
I'm glad you're feeling better!
It's good to be able to laugh at ourselves. Sometimes what we are going through is just so much to deal with, a good laugh really helps. :bounce
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Sorry - this is going to be long and boring and has very little to do with drinking but I am in a terrible state. I think I am going to lose my job. I am so scared. I am a solo mother and I am already finding it hard to make ends meet. I want to keep my house and not have to move my children out of school or send them to their Dad.
I just had the worst day in my working life. I am running a NZ company owned by and Australian company. That company is in turn owned by a large offshore company that I have been working with directly for 20 years as a representative only. When the Australian company decided to set up here, they asked me to run it for them.
I am supposed to make sales but the Australians say I have to do that by only working with Australia. They say I should never go out to the rest of the organisation. The rest of the organisation contacts me directly and according to the Australians, I should tell my offshore senior contacts to go away.
In fact Australia wants me to make sales for their company - not the NZ one. This is not official of course because that wouldn't make sense. Every time I am going to make a sale they claim it as Australian. They don't write that down. They ring me and bully me.
I work very long hours. I try to do the best for the NZ company and the company overall. The Australian attitude is hard to deal with and if they had their way, I would be working for all 3000 of them.
There are two ways of looking at this I suppose. They pay me good money and maybe I should just do whatever they tell me to and they can keep control. The way I see it, if I do that I will fail to grow the business and make money and sales for the NZ company and I will be assessed as failing to meet my sales objectives. But they own the company and if they want me to just work to make them look good at the expense of the NZ operation, maybe I should just toe the line. I am not doing it that way. I am fighting to make this business viable. If it was just a branch office, I would not have taken the job. Publically, they claim this is an NZ portal into the worldwide organisation. In reality, it seems many of them want it to be just a branch office.
Yesterday the customer came to me and asked me to help them. They were very frustrated by a lack of action from Australia. I wrote to the most senior person in Australia and someone in the UK. Today the Australian guy who was trying to get the matter sorted for the last few weeks rang me on speaker phone and humiliated me in front of his staff. I fought back and told him not to interrupt me. He will go to my boss who already has the knife sharpened and is coming over next week to discuss my performance and who had already rung me to warn me not to go outside Australia.
I know this is complicated and boring and I know I should be asking for help from my sponsor but it is too late at night to ring her and I really am scared.
I just had the worst day in my working life. I am running a NZ company owned by and Australian company. That company is in turn owned by a large offshore company that I have been working with directly for 20 years as a representative only. When the Australian company decided to set up here, they asked me to run it for them.
I am supposed to make sales but the Australians say I have to do that by only working with Australia. They say I should never go out to the rest of the organisation. The rest of the organisation contacts me directly and according to the Australians, I should tell my offshore senior contacts to go away.
In fact Australia wants me to make sales for their company - not the NZ one. This is not official of course because that wouldn't make sense. Every time I am going to make a sale they claim it as Australian. They don't write that down. They ring me and bully me.
I work very long hours. I try to do the best for the NZ company and the company overall. The Australian attitude is hard to deal with and if they had their way, I would be working for all 3000 of them.
There are two ways of looking at this I suppose. They pay me good money and maybe I should just do whatever they tell me to and they can keep control. The way I see it, if I do that I will fail to grow the business and make money and sales for the NZ company and I will be assessed as failing to meet my sales objectives. But they own the company and if they want me to just work to make them look good at the expense of the NZ operation, maybe I should just toe the line. I am not doing it that way. I am fighting to make this business viable. If it was just a branch office, I would not have taken the job. Publically, they claim this is an NZ portal into the worldwide organisation. In reality, it seems many of them want it to be just a branch office.
Yesterday the customer came to me and asked me to help them. They were very frustrated by a lack of action from Australia. I wrote to the most senior person in Australia and someone in the UK. Today the Australian guy who was trying to get the matter sorted for the last few weeks rang me on speaker phone and humiliated me in front of his staff. I fought back and told him not to interrupt me. He will go to my boss who already has the knife sharpened and is coming over next week to discuss my performance and who had already rung me to warn me not to go outside Australia.
I know this is complicated and boring and I know I should be asking for help from my sponsor but it is too late at night to ring her and I really am scared.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Steph ring up your sponsor or someone else in the program and tell them about this and then ask them if you may be "projecting".
I catch myself projecting some times which is not a good thing for me to do, as an alcoholic I tend to always put the worst possible spin on the future and then dwell on it which just leads to me imagining even worse things then I started off imagining. When I start dwelling on the future mole hills start to turn into mountains!!!!
I calm myself down first by recalling past times where I had been projecting the absolute worse possible outcome to something and nothing ever came of it, the vast majority of the time I had worried myself sick over nothing!!!
Hon deal with today, you have no control over tomorrow, just do what you can do today and move on. Turn tomorrow over to your HP, do what is right today and your HP will take care of tomorrow.
I catch myself projecting some times which is not a good thing for me to do, as an alcoholic I tend to always put the worst possible spin on the future and then dwell on it which just leads to me imagining even worse things then I started off imagining. When I start dwelling on the future mole hills start to turn into mountains!!!!
I calm myself down first by recalling past times where I had been projecting the absolute worse possible outcome to something and nothing ever came of it, the vast majority of the time I had worried myself sick over nothing!!!
Hon deal with today, you have no control over tomorrow, just do what you can do today and move on. Turn tomorrow over to your HP, do what is right today and your HP will take care of tomorrow.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
My experiences with jobs....
I did change jobs twice since I got sober.
Both had nothing to do with the jobs I had when drinking
Or with each other.
I suggest you get your resume up to date.
Make a list of people you can network with if necessary.
Perhaps it's time to consider a less stressful employment.
Life is to be enjoyed ...not endured.
Whatever the outcome ...you and your children will prosper
in God's plan. Do the footwork and try to relax.
I did change jobs twice since I got sober.
Both had nothing to do with the jobs I had when drinking
Or with each other.
I suggest you get your resume up to date.
Make a list of people you can network with if necessary.
Perhaps it's time to consider a less stressful employment.
Life is to be enjoyed ...not endured.
Whatever the outcome ...you and your children will prosper
in God's plan. Do the footwork and try to relax.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Originally Posted by CarolD 
Life is to be enjoyed ...not endured.
Whatever the outcome ...you and your children will prosper
in God's plan. Do the footwork and try to relax.
Whatever the outcome ...you and your children will prosper
in God's plan. Do the footwork and try to relax.
I have prayed this morning for enough faith.
I worry that I am doing things my way not God's way when it comes to work and that my fear of economic insecurity can't be lifted from me while I still have all this self will.
I find it so hard to see God's will at work. When I live in serenity and peace in my job, the men see it as weak and walk all over me and treat me badly.
This is confusing. I feel like the programme can't come with me into the corporate arena. I feel like I have to be this person I don't want to be. I will prepare my CV and look for another job. I had enjoyed this job until recently but sometimes I look back and wonder whether I enjoyed the thrill of drama and insecurity and now that doesn't sit right with me any more. Carol - are you at peace in the job you have?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,590
ok, let me state first off I have a major problem with the elimination of self will thing...fear of economic insecurity is a bloody good thing to have - especially when you're a single parent. And how do you know you're not doing God's will ?
I'd think really carefully before you made any lifestyle changes, Steph. Many many people seem to be able to corporate high flyers and AAers too.
You do not need to weak and docile to find peace and serenity - serenity comes from knowing and accepting yourself, doing what you know is right and not being afraid to put noses out of joint if required IMO...nothing to do with wimpishness or subservience.
D
I'd think really carefully before you made any lifestyle changes, Steph. Many many people seem to be able to corporate high flyers and AAers too.
You do not need to weak and docile to find peace and serenity - serenity comes from knowing and accepting yourself, doing what you know is right and not being afraid to put noses out of joint if required IMO...nothing to do with wimpishness or subservience.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Pilgrim
There's a lot to your post that I don't quite understand. But I've been in similar situations. It seems that ethics are intertwined somehow.
Addiction so intertwined with shame, guilt, honesty to one's self, etc. that, for me anyway, I cannot shoulder it in my career. No matter what the financial reward of walking that tightrope.
It would seem you are in a "lose/lose" ethical dilemma not of your making. If that isn't a trigger, I don't know what is. If it were me (I certainly am not qualified to advise any one else) I'd want to try to find a way to "win." Not by defeating anyone else, but winning by beating that demon that is dishonesty to ones self.
If a major part of your life is untrue to your program or your spirit, I would think it a major complication in your program. In my case, I "demoted" myself from a supervisory position (70) employees to "worker bee" status. Cost me $25k (US)/yr, but I no longer have to sell my ethical soul.
Sounds like you have a ton of marketable skills. And children. Advice?: Do what you need to do to sleep well at night. Alcohol fed off this sleep weakened man.
warrens
There's a lot to your post that I don't quite understand. But I've been in similar situations. It seems that ethics are intertwined somehow.
Addiction so intertwined with shame, guilt, honesty to one's self, etc. that, for me anyway, I cannot shoulder it in my career. No matter what the financial reward of walking that tightrope.
It would seem you are in a "lose/lose" ethical dilemma not of your making. If that isn't a trigger, I don't know what is. If it were me (I certainly am not qualified to advise any one else) I'd want to try to find a way to "win." Not by defeating anyone else, but winning by beating that demon that is dishonesty to ones self.
If a major part of your life is untrue to your program or your spirit, I would think it a major complication in your program. In my case, I "demoted" myself from a supervisory position (70) employees to "worker bee" status. Cost me $25k (US)/yr, but I no longer have to sell my ethical soul.
Sounds like you have a ton of marketable skills. And children. Advice?: Do what you need to do to sleep well at night. Alcohol fed off this sleep weakened man.
warrens
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Steph ...
I gave up working several years ago
as my lack of vision made it impossible.
Sooo...now I dodder around on my Social Security
Do y'all still use the term "on the dole"?
Yes...I found peace in both of my career changes.
In one...I was doing something that benefited many.
Raising funds for non proffits mostly enviromental.
The other...I was doing hands on assistance
Working as a CNA with elder patients.
Both required learning new skills with
certifications which increased my confidence.
I wanted a job in recovery where I could
be honest...help others and pay my bills.
exactly what God sent me.
That's why I am so certain your situation
will work out to your benefit.
Blessings to the 3 of you
Carol - are you at peace in the job you have?
as my lack of vision made it impossible.
Sooo...now I dodder around on my Social Security
Do y'all still use the term "on the dole"?
Yes...I found peace in both of my career changes.
In one...I was doing something that benefited many.
Raising funds for non proffits mostly enviromental.
The other...I was doing hands on assistance
Working as a CNA with elder patients.
Both required learning new skills with
certifications which increased my confidence.
I wanted a job in recovery where I could
be honest...help others and pay my bills.
exactly what God sent me.That's why I am so certain your situation
will work out to your benefit.
Blessings to the 3 of you
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