Fears about AA meetings
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 32
Fears about AA meetings
I dont know if this is normal or not, but I feel like I am not addicted enough to go to AA. Like there are people there with alot more problems than I have. To try to compare my drinking with theirs is like trying to compare a cold with cancer. How do you get past the thought of everyone thinking you are over reacting about the whole thing, that you should just quit if you want to. I feel like I sabotage myself everytime I say I want to quit, because the next thought that comes to mind is when I can get more. Therefore being that I am not truly committed and my life is not ruined, why would I waste their time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
There's no such thing as an "Alcoholic Hierarchy" We can't compare ones drinking habits with another persons and we don't have an "Alcoholic rating scale".
There's a lot of times I can't understand someone elses drinking habits because they don't compare to mine. That means nothing.
If you feel it's time to do something about it, then you will be welcome and accepted.
There's a lot of times I can't understand someone elses drinking habits because they don't compare to mine. That means nothing.
If you feel it's time to do something about it, then you will be welcome and accepted.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 1,924
Sounds "normal" to me! Welcome to a new life in recovery jadopa! If drinking alcohol caused problems in your life then you are probably at the right place. No two Alcoholics are the same, though we have many similarities; try looking for the similarities, not the differences. Keep up the good work!
R
R
Banned Troll
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 97
In truth I felt exactly the way you described. Early on I went to AA meetings and all I heard was how someone lost someone or something and that’s what finally got them in the program (POOR ME). I couldn’t relate to any of that and I looked at everyone like they were a bunch of victims that couldn’t take care of their own problems. I am an alcoholic and I am in the grips of a progressive illness, it always got worst never better. Even sober I still want to compare instead of identify. It’s suggested that I try and identify. See I can identify with wanting to quit and in my next thought wonder when I’ll get more. In the beginning I didnt need AA (so I thought) I was able to still stop or moderate, I wasnt to alcoholic yet.
I used to call my sponsor thinking I was wasting his time. He told me I was helping him more than he could ever help me. Good luck thanks for making the thread…..
I used to call my sponsor thinking I was wasting his time. He told me I was helping him more than he could ever help me. Good luck thanks for making the thread…..
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Well....
Have you been to a Newcomers AA meeting?
That's usually a good place to go and listen.
You can always walk out if you want.
I left my first meeting half way thru.
"OMG...who are these people???"
about 3 years later I returned
grateful those people were there to support me.
Do let us know how you are doing...we understand
Have you been to a Newcomers AA meeting?
That's usually a good place to go and listen.
You can always walk out if you want.
I left my first meeting half way thru.
"OMG...who are these people???"
about 3 years later I returned
grateful those people were there to support me.
Do let us know how you are doing...we understand
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Right here somewhere
Posts: 509
cant really judge if AA is not for you til you go, right?
"Contempt prior to investigation is ignorance"
ie: determing if it is or isnt right, without investigating it, is not too smart. Ya never know, you just might have something to say that will help one of THEM!
"Contempt prior to investigation is ignorance"
ie: determing if it is or isnt right, without investigating it, is not too smart. Ya never know, you just might have something to say that will help one of THEM!
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
the bottle beat me in the front doors..keep drinking,it will do the same for you,
but you could learn the easy way,just give it a chance for 90 days and if you are not better,AA will refund your misery
but you could learn the easy way,just give it a chance for 90 days and if you are not better,AA will refund your misery
Philippines/Canada
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Left Coast
Posts: 454
Do you often drink more than you intended too. Do you have a desire to quit drinking? You qualify to be a member of AA. You also don't need to volunteer the nature of your consumption or problems if you don't want too. No one will compare, maybe just envy
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
jadopa I will back up every thing every one else said. I have always felt that my disease is out to kill me! My disease will tell me anything to keep me drinking or get me to drink again.
Several things you really need to know about AA, the most important thing is the only requirement for mambership in AA is a desire to stop drinking!
It does not require you to go to prison, live on the street, sell your body for booze, have 5 dui's, lose of family & everything material, only that you have a desire to quit drinking.
If drinking is causing you problems and you need help to quit and stay stopped then AA is the place to be (or any other recovery program that works for you).
I have only had one dui and that was 20 years before I quit, I have never been locked up, I did not lose my family (1 month away from it), I did not lose very much materially. But I know that if I had not quit drinking when I did I would have in a year or less had nothing left but my bottle.
The longer one drinks the harder it is to stop, AA is there for people that want to stop drinking, that is it.
I drank for 40 years, I can relate to that feeling right now, I could relate to that feelinig after drinking for 30 years and wanting to quit. The problems in my life due to alcohol took a lot of years to catch up with me, it took me 30 years to become a full blown alcoholic, I was unable to see the problems alcohol was causing or would cause in my life.
Trust me when I say that people who come into the rooms of AA that are not full blown alcoholics are not shunned, they are looked upon as the lucky ones, the ones who saw thier problem far quicker then some of us, we still love you and will help you just as much as the person living out of a shopping cart that wants to quit.
All of us have a common problem, we share a common solution, what works for the old wino also works for the soccer mom who wakes up with a bad hang over and realizes she has a drinking problem.
There is no ranking system in AA, just love and understanding, we share our experience, strength and hope with all who seek it.
As others have said, do not look for the differences, look for the similarities, all alcoholics have many similarities.
Several things you really need to know about AA, the most important thing is the only requirement for mambership in AA is a desire to stop drinking!
It does not require you to go to prison, live on the street, sell your body for booze, have 5 dui's, lose of family & everything material, only that you have a desire to quit drinking.
If drinking is causing you problems and you need help to quit and stay stopped then AA is the place to be (or any other recovery program that works for you).
I have only had one dui and that was 20 years before I quit, I have never been locked up, I did not lose my family (1 month away from it), I did not lose very much materially. But I know that if I had not quit drinking when I did I would have in a year or less had nothing left but my bottle.
The longer one drinks the harder it is to stop, AA is there for people that want to stop drinking, that is it.
I feel like I sabotage myself everytime I say I want to quit, because the next thought that comes to mind is when I can get more. Therefore being that I am not truly committed and my life is not ruined, why would I waste their time.
Trust me when I say that people who come into the rooms of AA that are not full blown alcoholics are not shunned, they are looked upon as the lucky ones, the ones who saw thier problem far quicker then some of us, we still love you and will help you just as much as the person living out of a shopping cart that wants to quit.
All of us have a common problem, we share a common solution, what works for the old wino also works for the soccer mom who wakes up with a bad hang over and realizes she has a drinking problem.
There is no ranking system in AA, just love and understanding, we share our experience, strength and hope with all who seek it.
As others have said, do not look for the differences, look for the similarities, all alcoholics have many similarities.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 32
I often say to myself, that if I could change one thing in my life, it would be to quit smoking before I became fully addicted. Both Phycologically and Physically. I would go back and stop when I was in that stage were it would have been easier. Am I correct in assuming that this will end the same way. I have tried to quit smoking, that is the hardest thing I have ever done. I went 1 year and 2 months while I was pregnant and breast feeding. The day that I could start again, without hurting my son physically, I started smoking again. I dont want this to be a train wreck waiting to happen, because I feel like it is just a matter of time before something happens that I wont be able to take back.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Jadopa alcohlism is a disease, there is no cure for it, the only way to arrest the physical effects of it is total abstinance from alcohol.
The mental portion is a real bear!!!!
Those who white knuckle it simply do not drink, I tried this a lot, I was always miserable, sitting around thinking about drinking and not drinking. I was irratable enough to where even my wife would suggest I get a drink!!!!!
The other choice is recovery, changing ones self in a posotive manner, learning how to deal with ones past and how to live life happily without drinking. Recovery is not easy, but it is well worth the effort. I found recovery and so much more in AA.
The mental portion is a real bear!!!!
Those who white knuckle it simply do not drink, I tried this a lot, I was always miserable, sitting around thinking about drinking and not drinking. I was irratable enough to where even my wife would suggest I get a drink!!!!!
The other choice is recovery, changing ones self in a posotive manner, learning how to deal with ones past and how to live life happily without drinking. Recovery is not easy, but it is well worth the effort. I found recovery and so much more in AA.
Retired Pro Drunk
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
A few things:
1. The ONLY requirement is a desire to stop drinking.
2. There is no point system for suffering.
3. Don't focus on how you are different.
One thing I've learned over the years in AA and from being in treatment 3 times (once for 5 months) is that the faces and places are always different. What I feel inside is EXACTLY the same as everyone else.
AA is the right place for anyone who wants to stay sober. That's it. (PERIOD)
1. The ONLY requirement is a desire to stop drinking.
2. There is no point system for suffering.
3. Don't focus on how you are different.
One thing I've learned over the years in AA and from being in treatment 3 times (once for 5 months) is that the faces and places are always different. What I feel inside is EXACTLY the same as everyone else.
AA is the right place for anyone who wants to stay sober. That's it. (PERIOD)
Last edited by justanothrdrunk; 01-15-2008 at 08:48 AM. Reason: Extra "period" added for emphasis.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Newton Iowa
Posts: 157
You said as soon as you try to quit you start thinking about how to get more? That sounds like a problem to me.
I like to think of it as a train flying down the tracks. I can see the end of the tracks a mile ahead. The train is gaining speed every second. I know I am going to have to jump. Should I wait till the last minute or jump now?:wtf2
I like to think of it as a train flying down the tracks. I can see the end of the tracks a mile ahead. The train is gaining speed every second. I know I am going to have to jump. Should I wait till the last minute or jump now?:wtf2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 32
How hard was it for you to tell that first person? I think I might want to tell my Mom. You know a heart to heart with her. I dont talk to anyone like that, so its kind of a scary proposal. I would like to tell her that I am going to go to some meetings. That I just dont want this to get out of control. She has alot to deal with and I hate to be a burden. She thinks I have it all together. I feel like I am so blessed with my life, that I should'nt have anything to complain about. My husband loves me, my son is my life, my job is good, my friends and family are wonderful. thanks for the ear.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
How hard was it for you to tell that first person?
Who you tell is up to you, but it does make things easier and if you are like me most folks in your inner circle already know that you have a drinking problem. Family is a good place to start, but there is no real need to "Tell all". Just telling them you decided you have a problem and need to do soemthing about it is good enough for now.
Do not let any one tell you that you do not have a problem, they are not living your life! If you think you have a problem then you do.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 57
Just to share another experience, Jadopa, the very first AA meeting I went to I listened to a share by some guy who had lost his wife and children, had been homeless for years, in and out of jail...and even though the point of the story was that he had now been sober for 15 years and had regained everything he lost and more, blah blah blah, all I could tell myself was "I'm not as bad off as this guy was, so I don't belong here." And so I went straight out and got drunk.
To this day I don't have any horror stories about my drinking to compare with what many people at meetings bring up, and I even stopped drinking on my own for almost two years before I slipped and started going to meetings.
But meetings are the one place where I can always find people with whom I share one thing--I was obsessed by booze, even when I wasn't drinking. I'm not an AA fanatic, but going to meetings, working the steps with a sponsor, all of that has really enriched my life. And it's a lot cheaper than therapy...
To this day I don't have any horror stories about my drinking to compare with what many people at meetings bring up, and I even stopped drinking on my own for almost two years before I slipped and started going to meetings.
But meetings are the one place where I can always find people with whom I share one thing--I was obsessed by booze, even when I wasn't drinking. I'm not an AA fanatic, but going to meetings, working the steps with a sponsor, all of that has really enriched my life. And it's a lot cheaper than therapy...
Last edited by Yardbird; 01-15-2008 at 02:03 PM. Reason: Spellering
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Berea,Ohio
Posts: 397
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop.Do you want to quit or do you want to stay in the realm of where you currently sit,when you are ready to say you have had enough and want something more, we will be here.
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