maya23

i dont want to go into details about my failure.. i'm young, have a heathy liver according to the docs, but im worrying- am I one of the people mentioned in the aa reading that just can't commit to the simple programme??? what am i going to do??

Miss Pink

If you want what they have, do what they do.

If you dont know what that is, ask. Get a sponsor, and tell her "I want to be sober, I am willing to do what you tell me".

Then do it.

And NO....you are not one of those people...unless YOU choose to be.

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our program...."

barb dwyer

nice, Miss Pink. Well said.

User_Name

I asked my sponsor the same question when I had a rough couple of days and was flustered and depressed. He told me that I'm very good at looking for excuses to drink, and that this was just another way of my mind tricking me into a drink. My mind has played some crazy tricks on me and I realize that my disease wants me to drink, and I have to make sure I am doing what I need to do (the next right thing).



The serenity prayer is an awesome way to get through times when you are worried. I repeat it in my head until I start to calm down. This is what I do, and so far it has worked. Maybe next time you start to worry you can give it a try?

bonsai12

Maya23,

Like you I thought I was one of those people that couldn’t commit to this simple program. I walked into AA determined to do anything. I got a sponsor started to work the steps and said to myself I'm going to give it my all for 6 months and if this doesn’t work for me I can always go back to being miserable. What did I have to lose, nothing? I mean the booze and drugs were always going to be there and I certainly wasn’t going to miss out on anything and I certainly wouldn’t be missed. I gave drinking 100% now it was time to give my recovery 100%. That was almost 7 months ago and today there’s no way I'm going back.

My life is incredible today, better than it ever has been. I went through all 12 steps, now I’m looking for 12more…..

jimhere

I used to think I was one of those. I was in and out of AA for ten years before I got sober.

I personally have not met anyone who can't commit. I'm sure there are ones like that, but I haven't encountered any of them. I have met many, myself included who won't for whatever reasons. At first my reason(s) were "Im not that bad yet," or "I can stop if I have to..." I had to smash every reservation I had and the only way I could do that was by drinking them away. The last two or three years I was drinking I wanted to quit, but couldn't. At the end I thought I was crazy.

When I finally did get sober, I too was afraid that I was one of those that were constitutionally incapable of grasping the truth. Thank God for good sponsorship. When I told my sponsor my fears, he said "You are just blowing smoke up your own ass. The fact that you can admit that not honest is being honest."

So I know that I am capable of seeing the truth. I need help sometimes, because my thinking can be delusional, but I can see the truth. I would guess that you are no different than myself. Hopefully alcohol has done its job and you are ready to commit. In case you are wondering about that-willingnes is expressed by action.
Jim

maya23

thank u guys. i know i can do it i just wish some1 would take me 2 aa...i need someone 2 hold my hand when i go... but im compleley alone.

CarolD

Gee Maya,

Good to see you are here and sharing with us!

Sugah

maya, call the hotline in your area. Ask that someone meet you so you don't have to walk in alone.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

stone

Sugah said it Maya, someone will be happy to go with you to some meetings. People did it for me when I first started going, I was a complete wreck.

Believe me, you aren't a failure. It was when I asked for help that it started to get easier.

CarolD

maya,

This is excellent...please click on the link below

Alcoholics Anonymous UK Newcomers

Miss Pink

call your local AA number. Tell them you want to go to a meeting and ask if someone can go with you. THey do it ALL the time....they will be MORE thanhappy to help.

Show the world your stronger than you fear, walk thru it.

maya23

thanks. iv binned my drink and i know il be full of shame. but im adamant that i, as we all do here, have an illness. its not my fault no-one is sympathetic towards alcoholism..

maya23

p.s:
the only thing i can now do is continue to stash my food. i can't self harm again, mum saw my wounds... so il stop eating.

Rowan

Keep posting and reaching out, Maya. I know you're in a frightening place, and I've been there too - I really DO understand. Sometimes we just gotta reach deep down inside ourselves and do whatever it takes. PM me anytime if you wish to discuss this. I'd be happy to listen and to share my own experiences.

maya23

thanks, but at least starving myself will again attract sympathy..

Rowan

Have some sympathy and compassion for yourself, and accept help, Maya. you don't need to do this alone.

maya23

i have sympathy for other alcoholics, but my family are embarassed of me. its weird, im purposely going to starve myself because then mum and dad won't shout at me!

CarolD

Did you watch the video link I posted above?
I do think you would benefit from that action.

Tazman53

Maya going anorexic is not going to improve things, trust me I know, I have an anorexic daughter, it is not uncommon for anorexics to also be alcoholics.

Simple question for you, do you want to kill yourself via anorexia or alcoholism?

My daughter only started to get better once she acknowledged to everyone that she had a problem and became willing to accept help. Just like her dad with his booze, she isolated in her room, she exercised and would not eat, I isolated in my garage and drank.

Pick up the phone if you do not want to die and call the AA hotline, as already stated, there will be no problem at all for someone to go to meetings with you, you would be helping another alcoholic stay sober by giving them the opportunity to go to meetings with you. That is the primary reason AA works, is one alcoholic helping another alcoholic get and stay sober.

You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by picking up that phone.

Many of us have a difficult time commiting to the simple program of AA...... until we have had enough to drink!!!! I went to my first AA meeting about 4-5 years before I finally got sober, I was not ready!!!!

I was not yet convinced at that time that alcohol was killing me........ slowly it was killing me, I had to drink enough to where I had no choice......... I had to drink to feel normal! Even then I continued to drink, I drank until I had a moment of clarity and knew for a certainity that I was going to lose everything materail and family and then I was going to die from alcoholism before I would reach out for help.

I was not as lucky as you though, you see I was so far along that I was incapable of seeing that AA was my salvation, I called my insurance company, they got me an appointment with a drug and alcohol specialist. I saw him and got put into a medical detox, in there they told me if I wanted a chance to stay sober I needed to go to AA, I needed to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor.


My butt (Bumm) was totally kicked by alcohol, I was at the point of being willing to do anything to stay sober. I went to the meetings and I got a sponsor.

Today thanks to AA helping me to find a Higher Power I understood, the steps of AA, & the Fellowship, I am free of the urge/need to drink and free of self. I am happy today beyond my wildest dreams!

All it takes is a phone call to not die.