How Bad Do I Want It????
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Out of my mind
Posts: 113
How Bad Do I Want It???? Most of you know I got fired from my last job and I am desperate to get a new one since I have a little boy with no medical coverage and a new house with a mortgage.
Being a character in God's sitcom, I went on an interview Monday and it went GREAT...great except for the fact that it is in the Accounting department of the largest Anheuser Busch wholesaler in the state in which I live.
As I entered the conference room for the interview, I could see decorative displays of every Anheuser Busch product known to man and outside the plant is a huge neon Budweiser logo...my old nemesis.
The job is paying over 60K per year with awesome medical benefits and standard 40 hour work week. The people were great and the owner is a friendly, playful man who was taken by my confidence and wittiness (HA, if he only knew). I got an e-mail today basically telling me I got the position but we had to iron some options out.
I lie here tonight, not being able to sleep.
I HAVE to take the job but a part of me feels like I'm selling my soul to the devil. So many people are being killed by beer companies...right? I don't know. I'm very torn.
I am 36 days sober today and I know that if I do take the job, I will need to be going to lots of meetings. The "URGE" to drink has passed me but the temptation to drink has not been staring me in the face every day. I wouldn't be in the facility where the beer was kept...but it would be a constant presence.
Lastly, I have an interview on Jan 10th for a position that I've already had a phone interview for and is a similarly profitable position in a WiFi newly public company. It's the same distance from my home BUT the hours would be more demanding.
Any insight would be helpful.
Any similar stories or situations would be doubly helpful.
Thanks,
Denise
PS...(For Admins) It's very frustrating that whenever I take a little time to write a post, I am prompted to sign in again and then end up losing the entire post!! A few times I've written long, heartfelt posts, only to have them disappear. I decided to re-write this one. I hope something can be done about this soon. Thank You.
Being a character in God's sitcom, I went on an interview Monday and it went GREAT...great except for the fact that it is in the Accounting department of the largest Anheuser Busch wholesaler in the state in which I live.
As I entered the conference room for the interview, I could see decorative displays of every Anheuser Busch product known to man and outside the plant is a huge neon Budweiser logo...my old nemesis.
The job is paying over 60K per year with awesome medical benefits and standard 40 hour work week. The people were great and the owner is a friendly, playful man who was taken by my confidence and wittiness (HA, if he only knew). I got an e-mail today basically telling me I got the position but we had to iron some options out.
I lie here tonight, not being able to sleep.
I HAVE to take the job but a part of me feels like I'm selling my soul to the devil. So many people are being killed by beer companies...right? I don't know. I'm very torn.
I am 36 days sober today and I know that if I do take the job, I will need to be going to lots of meetings. The "URGE" to drink has passed me but the temptation to drink has not been staring me in the face every day. I wouldn't be in the facility where the beer was kept...but it would be a constant presence.
Lastly, I have an interview on Jan 10th for a position that I've already had a phone interview for and is a similarly profitable position in a WiFi newly public company. It's the same distance from my home BUT the hours would be more demanding.
Any insight would be helpful.
Any similar stories or situations would be doubly helpful.
Thanks,
Denise
PS...(For Admins) It's very frustrating that whenever I take a little time to write a post, I am prompted to sign in again and then end up losing the entire post!! A few times I've written long, heartfelt posts, only to have them disappear. I decided to re-write this one. I hope something can be done about this soon. Thank You.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
What interesting twists and turns life can take. I am not even going to try and tell you what I think you should do as I do not walk in your shoes. What I can offer is my experience, strength, and hope.
I don't know if I would have been able to work for a beer distributor in my early recovery. Not because I would feel I know there are many people that are able to drink without the insanity that overtakes me when I do. I am not against alcohol for that reason. I have actually bought alcohol as gifts for my normie friends while in sobriety. I don't think twice about eating dinner the bar section of a resturant if that is what is available, or walking down the liquor aisle, it no longer has an effect on me. I do think that if I were in an emotionally difficult place I would avoid those types of places as I would not want to put myself in a position of risk. So today for me to work for an alcohol distributor would not be a problem for the most part. If I had a choice though I would take a job that paid less, had longer hours, even was harder over the alcohol job simply because there are ruts in the road of life and I would not want to be in a position of having to be around alcohol in times of great stress. In life we can not hide from alcohol, it is everywhere, TV, billboards, magazines, everywhere. But I can take steps to protect myself when I know I am more vulnerable.
I do believe you will make the decision that is right for you and your son. Take care and I wish you the best. Keep us posted with your decision.
I don't know if I would have been able to work for a beer distributor in my early recovery. Not because I would feel
like I'm selling my soul to the devil. So many people are being killed by beer companies...right?
I do believe you will make the decision that is right for you and your son. Take care and I wish you the best. Keep us posted with your decision.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Hi Dee -
I'm glad to see you still here ans posting regularly.
You know - I haven't a CLUE.
I couldn't consider any kind of position like that period.
Easy enough for me to type considering ...
nobody is OFFERING me one.
There's my 'standard' answer that ... NOTHING is worth risking my sobriety.
No man.
No job.
No status.
NOTHING.
I had to learn that the hard way.
Having already lost more than one house - that's not the stigma for me it once was.
Well.
They're not LOST - I mean, I know where they ARE ...
I just don't have any CLAIM to them any more.
HOWEVER:
I *have* had some indirect dealings with that company in the past, and they have ALL been amazingly positive. (ex horse trainer) You might be suprised to find that THEY have a better system and program for recovery and support than any other.
Never know.
This would take a great deal of prayer and time sitting watching my child before I made any leaps I couldn't get out of.
You're in my prayers, and I hope all the best for you.
ps -
the best way to save a long post (this from the KWEEN of the lengthy post)
is to 'select all' and then 'copy' it, THEN go up and refresh the page first. Sign back in - then 'paste' the post back ... that's the only way I can do it while staying on the page.
I'm glad to see you still here ans posting regularly.
You know - I haven't a CLUE.
I couldn't consider any kind of position like that period.
Easy enough for me to type considering ...
nobody is OFFERING me one.
There's my 'standard' answer that ... NOTHING is worth risking my sobriety.
No man.
No job.
No status.
NOTHING.
I had to learn that the hard way.
Having already lost more than one house - that's not the stigma for me it once was.
Well.
They're not LOST - I mean, I know where they ARE ...
I just don't have any CLAIM to them any more.
HOWEVER:
I *have* had some indirect dealings with that company in the past, and they have ALL been amazingly positive. (ex horse trainer) You might be suprised to find that THEY have a better system and program for recovery and support than any other.
Never know.
This would take a great deal of prayer and time sitting watching my child before I made any leaps I couldn't get out of.
You're in my prayers, and I hope all the best for you.
ps -
the best way to save a long post (this from the KWEEN of the lengthy post)
is to 'select all' and then 'copy' it, THEN go up and refresh the page first. Sign back in - then 'paste' the post back ... that's the only way I can do it while staying on the page.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 226
Well Dee,
I've actually felt just how you did. I'm not sure you’re selling your soul to the Devil but I do know how you feel.
Our circumstances are a bit different because when I took a job as an Alcohol Distribution Supervisor I had already been sober years via the 12 steps. I didn’t work in the office I worked directly with the booze, the smell, broken bottles, alcoholic employees who didn’t have programs. I didn’t work for the company for very long, long enough to get something else but it really sounds like you have a great opportunity there. If someone offered me a position like the one you mentioned I wouldn’t hesitate.
You see alcohol is the answer and the problem to all I face. The more I drank the farther I got from God but the closer he got to me. So when I worked for the booze company I made sure all those alcoholics out there got there booze on time and as fresh and tasty as a newly baked doughnut. I looked at it as a chance to do some service.
It’s a job Dee, keep going to mtgs, work with a sponsor, put the steps of recovery in your life and you may just find you’ll want a career out of this place. Congratulations!!!!!!!
All Good Things,
I've actually felt just how you did. I'm not sure you’re selling your soul to the Devil but I do know how you feel.
Our circumstances are a bit different because when I took a job as an Alcohol Distribution Supervisor I had already been sober years via the 12 steps. I didn’t work in the office I worked directly with the booze, the smell, broken bottles, alcoholic employees who didn’t have programs. I didn’t work for the company for very long, long enough to get something else but it really sounds like you have a great opportunity there. If someone offered me a position like the one you mentioned I wouldn’t hesitate.
You see alcohol is the answer and the problem to all I face. The more I drank the farther I got from God but the closer he got to me. So when I worked for the booze company I made sure all those alcoholics out there got there booze on time and as fresh and tasty as a newly baked doughnut. I looked at it as a chance to do some service.
It’s a job Dee, keep going to mtgs, work with a sponsor, put the steps of recovery in your life and you may just find you’ll want a career out of this place. Congratulations!!!!!!!
All Good Things,
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Dee not knowing if your sobriety is on solid ground it is hard for me to say, if you are shaky about the situation I would highly reccommend talking with your sponsor, praying and meditating on it, the answer will come, you just need to make sure it is coming from the right source, not you.
No you are not, you are no more of a devil then a sugar salesman is.
There are people (I find this hard to beleive) who drink normally, a beer at lunch every once in a while and maybe 3-4 over a weekend, then there are folks like me, alcoholics, I am the problem, not the alcohol.
I'm selling my soul to the devil.
There are people (I find this hard to beleive) who drink normally, a beer at lunch every once in a while and maybe 3-4 over a weekend, then there are folks like me, alcoholics, I am the problem, not the alcohol.
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Well, for what it's worth:
I would write down a list of pros and cons for each job. And then pray on it.
I think that what Barb said about the company would be on my list of pros.
Also, I would have to strongly consider the hours as a big factor. With you being a single Mom, time away from your son is important to consider.
Please let us know what you decide!
Karen
I would write down a list of pros and cons for each job. And then pray on it.
I think that what Barb said about the company would be on my list of pros.
Also, I would have to strongly consider the hours as a big factor. With you being a single Mom, time away from your son is important to consider.
Please let us know what you decide!
Karen
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Brighton UK
Posts: 328
I have done some consulting for a beer company - was quite interesting. Their employees could buy beer at cost price and their was a bar on the premises which served free beer after 5-00 pm each evening. I guess for a recovering alcoholic that is alot of temptation, but nothing like working in a bar. As for feeling as if you would be working for the devil I have to disagree. Millions drink and enjoy alcohol sensibly without having problems. It's like legal medical seditives, they are used constructively but also abused - pharmaceutical companies are not responsible for this.
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Right here somewhere
Posts: 509
Alcohol (beer) doesnt kill people. Alcoholism kills people.
If the job is here, you need it, God is telling ya something. If you find it interupts your sobriety, quit. Cant count on what you dont have, or might have, look at what you do have.
If the job is here, you need it, God is telling ya something. If you find it interupts your sobriety, quit. Cant count on what you dont have, or might have, look at what you do have.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
December -
that was my 'downside' thinking about it -
as a bartender - we LOVED to see the beer reps some in.
They bought rounds.
and rounds
and rounds.
although - almost never - did THEY drink.
The only time I EVER saw ANY of the beer company reps drink -
was when they chose my bar for a going away party for one of their own.
Not everyone is an alcoholic.
I know.
So far out of my perception it may as well me a myth.
Personally -
I couldn't handle that.
being in a bar .. at all.
far too potent a trigger for me.
and my only dealings with that company,
other than as a bartender -
was through the horse industry.
That was an entirely different lifetime for me.
that was my 'downside' thinking about it -
as a bartender - we LOVED to see the beer reps some in.
They bought rounds.
and rounds
and rounds.
although - almost never - did THEY drink.
The only time I EVER saw ANY of the beer company reps drink -
was when they chose my bar for a going away party for one of their own.
Not everyone is an alcoholic.
I know.
So far out of my perception it may as well me a myth.
Personally -
I couldn't handle that.
being in a bar .. at all.
far too potent a trigger for me.
and my only dealings with that company,
other than as a bartender -
was through the horse industry.
That was an entirely different lifetime for me.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
This may fall under "the exception that proves the rule," or not -- you decide.
My husband's sponsor was living in his car when he finally, after many treatments (some involuntary), decided enough was enough. He was a former banker, now unemployable, and he was too proud to tell anyone in the rooms he was living in his car. It was wintertime, and it was cold, and he was desperate for a job. Looked everywhere. Finally, he went back to the bar where he drank, told them he'd sweep the floor if that's all they had for him, and they gave him a chance. Sixteen years later, he's still there -- and still sober.
When I say that he'd had enough, that he was willing to go to any length to stay sober, I must add that he immediately got a sponsor, immediately began working steps. When it came to his 4th step, he listed his "pride," (that he didn't tell his sponsor he was homeless, didn't want to accept any help that might have been offered) but by that time, it was irrelevant, as he'd found a place to live, however humble.
I also know a guy who got sober while owning a bar, and another while owning & working in a restaurant that served alcohol. I know folks who got sober while spouses and children in the home continued to drink.
I'll say a prayer, Dee, that you can make the decision that's right for you.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
My husband's sponsor was living in his car when he finally, after many treatments (some involuntary), decided enough was enough. He was a former banker, now unemployable, and he was too proud to tell anyone in the rooms he was living in his car. It was wintertime, and it was cold, and he was desperate for a job. Looked everywhere. Finally, he went back to the bar where he drank, told them he'd sweep the floor if that's all they had for him, and they gave him a chance. Sixteen years later, he's still there -- and still sober.
When I say that he'd had enough, that he was willing to go to any length to stay sober, I must add that he immediately got a sponsor, immediately began working steps. When it came to his 4th step, he listed his "pride," (that he didn't tell his sponsor he was homeless, didn't want to accept any help that might have been offered) but by that time, it was irrelevant, as he'd found a place to live, however humble.
I also know a guy who got sober while owning a bar, and another while owning & working in a restaurant that served alcohol. I know folks who got sober while spouses and children in the home continued to drink.
I'll say a prayer, Dee, that you can make the decision that's right for you.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Out of my mind
Posts: 113
As usual, all your comments were comforting and insightful and provoking...Thank You.
I will let you all know if I get the official offer. If I get it, I will have to take it.
I was feeling a bit hypocritical because all the research I've done over the past month and all the stories I hear, makes me realize that there is no "good" use for alcohol. Now I will be working (possibly) for a company whose sole purpose is to distribute alcohol.
I don't know if it's God opening a window or the devil opening a pit to hell.
Prayer...lots of prayer
:praying
Denise
I will let you all know if I get the official offer. If I get it, I will have to take it.
I was feeling a bit hypocritical because all the research I've done over the past month and all the stories I hear, makes me realize that there is no "good" use for alcohol. Now I will be working (possibly) for a company whose sole purpose is to distribute alcohol.
I don't know if it's God opening a window or the devil opening a pit to hell.
Prayer...lots of prayer
:praying
Denise
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Dee...
When I want to share long writings
I type in Word then C&P to where ever.
On the job situation...I'd take the best offer.
You can always switch if it does not work out.
Blessings to you and Sean
When I want to share long writings
I type in Word then C&P to where ever.
On the job situation...I'd take the best offer.
You can always switch if it does not work out.
Blessings to you and Sean
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
Don't feel like a turncoat. You are not at war with Alcohol. The book warns us not to condemn Alcohol as an institution as there are those that will rely on us someday. They may view us as "Prohibitionists" as opposed to someone that is desiring a better life because we don't mix well with Alcohol.
I must say that this will put your fitness to the test. Maybe this is God and his desire to see what you're made of. I'd take the job. That's my 2 cents.
I must say that this will put your fitness to the test. Maybe this is God and his desire to see what you're made of. I'd take the job. That's my 2 cents.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
I can share what a friend shared with me a long time ago
his first sober job was in driving a beer truck
he walked in the warehouse and there was millions of bottles and cans of beer
then the thought came to him,there`s just not enough booze here for me
he took the job and is still sober today 23 yrs later...but he don`t drive a beer truck anymore....
if you want to stay sober,and do the work we do to stay sober,I believe it don`t matter where you work-you`ll stay sober
his first sober job was in driving a beer truck
he walked in the warehouse and there was millions of bottles and cans of beer
then the thought came to him,there`s just not enough booze here for me
he took the job and is still sober today 23 yrs later...but he don`t drive a beer truck anymore....
if you want to stay sober,and do the work we do to stay sober,I believe it don`t matter where you work-you`ll stay sober
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
If you're seeing red flags at all about taking this job, maybe something someone told me one time might help you. Goes like this:
"Your HP isn't giving you those red flags to decorate with."
"Your HP isn't giving you those red flags to decorate with."
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
Originally Posted by bballdad 
if you want to stay sober,and do the work we do to stay sober,I believe it don`t matter where you work-you`ll stay sober
That's it exactly bballdad. The we work do to stay sober.
Dee..are you doing the work we do to stay sober or just hanging on?
If you are hanging on - don't take the job, you may get drunk and it would be just a lot of wasted paperwork.
If you have had the alcohol problem removed, or are working towards that, you have nothing to worry about.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
Originally Posted by Dee_Sober4today
PS...(For Admins) It's very frustrating that whenever I take a little time to write a post, I am prompted to sign in again and then end up losing the entire post!! A few times I've written long, heartfelt posts, only to have them disappear. I decided to re-write this one. I hope something can be done about this soon. Thank You.
Hope that helps.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by Dee_Sober4today
PS...(For Admins) It's very frustrating that whenever I take a little time to write a post, I am prompted to sign in again and then end up losing the entire post!! A few times I've written long, heartfelt posts, only to have them disappear. I decided to re-write this one. I hope something can be done about this soon. Thank You.
PS...(For Admins) It's very frustrating that whenever I take a little time to write a post, I am prompted to sign in again and then end up losing the entire post!! A few times I've written long, heartfelt posts, only to have them disappear. I decided to re-write this one. I hope something can be done about this soon. Thank You.
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