Reality Check
Not the center of the Universe
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Reality Check
Just got back from my regular Wednesday night meeting, in a good mood as I always am after a meeting, and found a message in my email inbox telling me that a friend from the past had OD'd on a combination of Valium and alcohol. I feel uncomfortable about quoting the whole email but the last lines were:
> They're pretty sure she didn't mean to, but still.
> She was only 46.
I hadn't seen this person in over ten years but I do remember her. Same age as me too. Of course, I would never have let it get that bad. Bull#$*%!!! I couldn't have stopped it from getting that bad. Thank God we could.
"Jails, Institutions, and Death" kids. If you are thinking they just say that to scare us, well, that's not your best thinking.
> They're pretty sure she didn't mean to, but still.
> She was only 46.
I hadn't seen this person in over ten years but I do remember her. Same age as me too. Of course, I would never have let it get that bad. Bull#$*%!!! I couldn't have stopped it from getting that bad. Thank God we could.
"Jails, Institutions, and Death" kids. If you are thinking they just say that to scare us, well, that's not your best thinking.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
.I am so sorry to know yet another
died an unnecessary tragic death.
That combo of valium and alcohol
was my breakfast for several years.
Prayers of comfort for all wo loved her.
died an unnecessary tragic death.
That combo of valium and alcohol
was my breakfast for several years.
Prayers of comfort for all wo loved her.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Sometimes, people come into our lives just to teach us how permeable this existance is. The slow daily suicide of addiction is a harsh teacher.
When JimHere says this is a matter of life and death - he means it.
You friend... proves it.
I try to take these events as the teachings they are,
and thank the Creator for what I learned from that person.
Mortality ... is always a kick in the face.
I know I joke around a lot, and am flip about almost everything, but ... in the six years I tended bar - 31 people died. Please, though - don't ever think I don't keep that fact in the back of my mind at all times. I'm of the type that figures we can go off the cliff laughing, or screaming. I mean - it's our mortality- we're going off the cliff no matter what, right?
I choose ... laughing.
Every now and then - The Infinite ... sends me a reminder that more of us DON'T make it .. than do.
You just delivered it.
Prayers.
When JimHere says this is a matter of life and death - he means it.
You friend... proves it.
I try to take these events as the teachings they are,
and thank the Creator for what I learned from that person.
Mortality ... is always a kick in the face.
I know I joke around a lot, and am flip about almost everything, but ... in the six years I tended bar - 31 people died. Please, though - don't ever think I don't keep that fact in the back of my mind at all times. I'm of the type that figures we can go off the cliff laughing, or screaming. I mean - it's our mortality- we're going off the cliff no matter what, right?
I choose ... laughing.
Every now and then - The Infinite ... sends me a reminder that more of us DON'T make it .. than do.
You just delivered it.
Prayers.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pugetopolis
Posts: 2,384
Sorry to hear this nolonger. I've had to bury a few close friends over the years. Another one of us who doesn't have to drink anymore, I'm sorry to say.
Like Carol, I used to wash valium down with whiskey on a regular basis. Or seconal, or quaaludes. Or percodan. Sometimes I would get behind the wheel blitzed out of my head on these combinations. I developed a bad speed habit in an attempt manage alcoholism. I injected massive amounts of methamphetimine. It's a wonder my heart didn't explode.
They say God looks after fools and drunks. I've been both.
Jim
Like Carol, I used to wash valium down with whiskey on a regular basis. Or seconal, or quaaludes. Or percodan. Sometimes I would get behind the wheel blitzed out of my head on these combinations. I developed a bad speed habit in an attempt manage alcoholism. I injected massive amounts of methamphetimine. It's a wonder my heart didn't explode.
They say God looks after fools and drunks. I've been both.
Jim
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Last night at my home group one of our members told us that the guy he shared a room with in rehab hanged himself. He was shocked cause they were out of rehab 3 months and this guy was a *star* so bright and engaged in the program. Turns out shortly after leaving he decided to try some controlled drinking, left AA and the rest is history.
How very sad both stories are- and how very predictable.
Your disease is patient. It will wait for you...and it's primary purpose is to destroy you. Make no mistake. It's like that for all us. There ARE no exceptions.
How very sad both stories are- and how very predictable.
Your disease is patient. It will wait for you...and it's primary purpose is to destroy you. Make no mistake. It's like that for all us. There ARE no exceptions.
Not the center of the Universe
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Originally Posted by barb dwyer 
I'm of the type that figures we can go off the cliff laughing, or screaming. I mean - it's our mortality- we're going off the cliff no matter what, right?
I choose ... laughing.
I choose ... laughing.
The topic of our table last night was expectations. Expectations and the second step. When I started recovery, I had only negative expectations about the whole deal. I didn't want to be "one of those people who go to A.A." because I knew just what they were like although I'd never actually met somebody who was an A.A. member. I didn't want to become a person who wore their religion on their shirt sleeve but I feared that was exactly what was required. I just could not imagine a life without alcohol (or some other drug) that would be anything but grey and joyless. I didn't really want recovery, I wanted to get people off my back.
That's not what I found. I could have found it if I had focused any or all of the people and ideas that met my expectations. I didn't do that. After my first couple of N.A. meetings, I chose to focus on the positive message, the positive people and yes, the laughter. Happy laughter for the most part, some rueful laughter for sure, but not very much bitter, cynical laughter. I found out that I did want what those people had and came to believe that I could have it if I did what they did. Recovery was not what I expected at all and recovery continues to exceed my expectations today, if I let it.
I just don't know a sure fire way to open the locks on another person's heart and mind. But that doesn't mean that it's not worth trying.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
findingout my condolances on your friend and prayers for the family.
The sad thing about alcoholism is that the majority of us die in our bottles to where a few of us can live. When we are in our bottle for many years we lie to our selfs, we are invincable, booze is our friend, it is always there for us when ever we need it.
Alcoholism is the only disease that one of the main symptoms is the denial of the disease, for many of us right up until it is to late or we are dead. Why God granted this alcoholic that moment of clarity to see my future if I kept drinking I really do not know, nor do I question why, I simply accept there is a reason.
The sad thing about alcoholism is that the majority of us die in our bottles to where a few of us can live. When we are in our bottle for many years we lie to our selfs, we are invincable, booze is our friend, it is always there for us when ever we need it.
Alcoholism is the only disease that one of the main symptoms is the denial of the disease, for many of us right up until it is to late or we are dead. Why God granted this alcoholic that moment of clarity to see my future if I kept drinking I really do not know, nor do I question why, I simply accept there is a reason.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 565
Thanks for that findingout always sad to hear about the death of a friend so young.
Here's another: By 4AM Tuesday morning, there had already been 4 DWI fatalities here in Albuquerque. We usually average over 300 DWI related crashes a year.
Makes me so happy I never killed anyone or was arrested. A bullet sobriety will definitely help me dodge.
Here's another: By 4AM Tuesday morning, there had already been 4 DWI fatalities here in Albuquerque. We usually average over 300 DWI related crashes a year.
Makes me so happy I never killed anyone or was arrested. A bullet sobriety will definitely help me dodge.
Pure Radio Rental
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Off course, of course.
Posts: 952
Two of my very close friends died from addiction in the mid- 1990's.
I still go to their gravesites every Christmas season, they are buried within a mile of each other.
The finality I feel when I go is almost overwhelming.
Plus I notice people don't bring flowers and notes like they used to.
I once wrote "Impressions dissolve with time".
How I wish that wasn't the truth.
I still go to their gravesites every Christmas season, they are buried within a mile of each other.
The finality I feel when I go is almost overwhelming.
Plus I notice people don't bring flowers and notes like they used to.
I once wrote "Impressions dissolve with time".
How I wish that wasn't the truth.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
When I was just shy of two years sober, I got a call that a friend, woman I had grown up with, had lost her seventeen year old son from the same combination. I hadn't seen her in years but had been very close to the family. If the death of someone in their forties is senseless, I don't know what that makes this young man's -- wasn't even old enough for his first legal drink.
Anyway, I overheard his mother say to someone at the wake, "He knew better than to mix them." She's still dying, one drink at a time.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Anyway, I overheard his mother say to someone at the wake, "He knew better than to mix them." She's still dying, one drink at a time.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Silly Rabbit
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 956
it's just so terribly sad... so sad. i remember when i was 20, my friend sam died the night of my birthday. she drank so much that after she passed out, her central nervous system just shut down. she had been at a frat party, and the boys put her in a room to sleep and she just never woke up. they didn't check on her, and she wasn't found until the next day. three months later, my friend bennett died at a party i was supposed to be at. he had a combination of xanax, alcohol, and methadone in his system. he was found on their couch the next morning.
it didn't even slow me down, i just drank to not feel over it. i sit here, 17 months sober, and i feel like crying thinking about them. i miss them, my heart breaks for their families, their friends. my heart breaks for your friend's family, their friends. i thank god that i am sober, young, alive, and able to feel today. thank god for these miracles, however commonplace they seem.
i'm so sorry. big love, and big prayers.
it didn't even slow me down, i just drank to not feel over it. i sit here, 17 months sober, and i feel like crying thinking about them. i miss them, my heart breaks for their families, their friends. my heart breaks for your friend's family, their friends. i thank god that i am sober, young, alive, and able to feel today. thank god for these miracles, however commonplace they seem.
i'm so sorry. big love, and big prayers.
Pure Radio Rental
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Off course, of course.
Posts: 952
Originally Posted by Emimily
it's just so terribly sad... so sad. i remember when i was 20, my friend sam died the night of my birthday. she drank so much that after she passed out, her central nervous system just shut down. she had been at a frat party, and the boys put her in a room to sleep and she just never woke up. they didn't check on her, and she wasn't found until the next day. three months later, my friend bennett died at a party i was supposed to be at. he had a combination of xanax, alcohol, and methadone in his system. he was found on their couch the next morning.
it didn't even slow me down, i just drank to not feel over it. i sit here, 17 months sober, and i feel like crying thinking about them. i miss them, my heart breaks for their families, their friends. my heart breaks for your friend's family, their friends. i thank god that i am sober, young, alive, and able to feel today. thank god for these miracles, however commonplace they seem.
i'm so sorry. big love, and big prayers.
it didn't even slow me down, i just drank to not feel over it. i sit here, 17 months sober, and i feel like crying thinking about them. i miss them, my heart breaks for their families, their friends. my heart breaks for your friend's family, their friends. i thank god that i am sober, young, alive, and able to feel today. thank god for these miracles, however commonplace they seem.
i'm so sorry. big love, and big prayers.
Be proud. There is so much out there to miss.
Remember- this moment contains every moment!
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
FindingOut wrote: I know, hon.
*hug*
Thank you Barb. I always try to find laughter as well. But sometimes, it's just not there. What really makes me sad is that there is no requirement for anyone to die from this disease if they can only open their minds and hearts to the solution. The problem seems to be that the same key doesn't fit all the locks.
*hug*
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