User_Name

Just checking in to say this is day 30 without a drink or drug. I never thought it was possible for me to go a single day without drinking. I'm using AA as my method of recovery (after trying my way for some time), and it seems to work pretty well, although I'm still not very good at sharing. I usually will just listen if I'm called on (any advice on how to open up more?). I am doing a 90/90 since a lot of people deem that to be very important, heck, what else do I have to do at night anyways? I'm just excited and very glad that things are starting to get a little better for me. I've lost about 15 pounds, visited my family more in the last month than I probably have in a year, and have met people who I truly believe are my friends at AA. 3-4 people I see at work have said "I don't know what you have changed, but you look great!".

The most important thing for me is the "one day at a time" phrase, and "this too shall pass". These have saved my butt a bunch of times in the last 30 days and I am grateful to have learned them. Once again, thanks for the support everyone, and don't drink today. :ghug3

mike_mass

way ot go!

Rimmy

30 days is a true accomplishment. I'm working my way to it after 2 years of trying... I think I can I think I can I think I can

Congratulations on this!

sugErspun

Congrats user_name!

Are you getting involved in the program of action in AA? (Unity, Service, Recovery - 3 equal parts).

Unity = meetings, fellowship
Sevice = carrying the message (even helping set up/tear down meetings when new)
Recovery = the steps outlined in the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

Thanks for the update.

Rowan

Congratulations on your 30 days! I'm so glad you are here to share it with us

Impurrfect

congratulations on 30 days...that's a huge accomplisment. When I went to meetings, it took me more than a month to open up and share.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Tazman53

First of all congrats on your 30 days, second:

I had a little chuckle at that one, a guy with over 5 years shared about how sharing was very hard for him since he had moved to our area from where he originally got sober, he said we were all great and he knew he needed to get back into sharing because he had some things built up he needed to get out.

So the topic for the evening was sharing!!! My grandsponsors wife said she hardly said a share longer then to pass her first 3 years in the rooms!

Shares come easy to some, and hard for others, it is nothing to worry about.

The 2 most important things to share in my book is:

1. Something that may lead you to drink that you would like advice on, usually this is a great topic for a meeting.

2. A solution to a problem!!!! AA is where folks come to find solutions to their problems related to alcoholism, if all anyone did was share problems with no solutions we may as well go to a bar and drink them away!

In meetings where I really do not have any experience in a topic or problem I will pass, why waste time sharing if I have nothing to share.

The most important time to share is when in your heart you know you need to share! This is your HP either working through you to pass a solution to some one who needs it, or your HP moving you to share a problem you need help with.

User_Name

To be quite honest, I'm still confused with a lot of what people are talking about, which is part of the reason I don't talk that much. I am showing up 30 minutes early and helping stack chairs at the end. As far as the steps go, my sponsor told me the first year is really just learning how to live sober, and he said if I can get step one down 110% that is enough for the first year. So at this point I am just working on step one, and coming to terms with the fact that I truly am powerless over alcohol.

I never really thought my life was unmanageable, yet I am starting to realize that a lot of my problem is denial that I was the problem, not everyone else. For example, on my ex-GF's 21st birthday I spent 4 hours in the back of a police car. I didn't think I was sitting there because I was the a-hole, I thought the cops were the a-holes and I was the victim. I never paid bills on time and was always stealing and scraping to get by. I stole from my own Grandma: her pills, her money.

I do know that I am powerless over booze. When I was drinking I had a little ritual I would go through in my head before I had the first one. I would think to myself "is there anything else I need to get done today, because as soon as I have this one, pretty soon I won't be in any shape to do anything important". The last two years of drinking I would only buy 12 beers a night and try to limit myself. I was driving drunk every night after the 12 were gone to go get more since I couldn't stop until I passed out. It was always a crapshoot if I was going somewhere that required me to be on my best behavior. Sometimes I was able to act normal, but more often than not I wound up embarrassed, or ended up picking a fight with someone. It's weird, sometimes when I was drunk I was the nicest guy in the world, other times I'd get angry and want to scrap with someone. I still haven't figured out why I liked to try to act like a tough guy. The only thing I can think of is that I'm physically big and wanted people to be afraid of me, although what it really boils down to is that I was scared and didn't want people to know.

CarolD

Congratulations!

Tazman53

User_Name I sent you a PM, but if you feel you are ready to work on step one now then tell your sponsor you want to start to work on it, the steps are not something to drag ones feet on, when you are ready is when you should start working them and as soon as you finish one you should be working on the next. This is the way I worked them, the way my sponsor worked them and his sponsor.

In the early days of AA when success rates were VERY high it was common for someone to go through the steps entirely the first time in a week! A year of spinning ones wheels on step one would have had me drunk in about 2-3 months, I would have never made it to step one.

1963comet

30 days is great.

I think step 1,2,3 really go together. When I accepted step 1, I did step 2 and 3 right away. I knew I needed help from my HP.

One day at a meeting, some one will walk in, and be on there first day like you did. And you will be able to answer questions for them.

sugErspun

user_name - that was quite a share in itself. Thank you.

To add on Taz's post:

Only thing I know about sponsorship:

Start on the title page of the big book and read together the first 164 pages and talk about it.

I bet if you and your sponsor set aside 1 hour per week to read the book together and do what it says, then you could be sponsoring someone yourself before you know it. The steps will make living sober a reality, it isn't so much something that is learned as something that is experienced. I know that probably doesn't make much sense..but as Joe and Charlie would say : The book is a text designed to transmit an experience.

fyi--AA the institution, takes it name from a book titled Alcoholics Anonymous which was released in 1939 - was the how and why the first 100 members got and stayed sober. Just my opinion of course, but the whole program of AA is in that book, if you are not reading it and doing what it says to do, you are leaving out a very important part.

The fellowship takes it's name from the book.

Treasure2Find

I read one of the posts here about the steps and some confusion. Going on the theory that I can stay sober for a year without the steps implies that I’m not really an alcoholic, or not too alcoholic. To be honest if I could stay sober for anything like a year why would I need a sponsor or need AA to begin with? I’ve tired to stay sober for a year I made it two days.

Big Book Pg 34 Ch 3
We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year.

I would never have a sponsor that asked me to stay dry for a year without the steps. Had I asked this type of sponsor to help me I would be dead today. This kind of sponsorship contradicts everything the Big Book tells me to do. Bottom line this is a program of action this isn’t a program of sit around and rest on my laurels.

I wouldn’t bank my life on the lets stay sober for a year before we start the steps theory.

Learning how to live sober came with living the steps. Staying sober for a year without the steps would be like having a car with no engine. How the hell could I even be expected to stay sober a year with out the spiritual tool kit or an engine to work on? I wasn’t sure if I should post this but watching someone getting shot and doing nothing to prevent it would be the same as pulling the trigger myself.

User_Name

I appreciate the input and the PM's. The fact of the matter is I don't really know if my current sponsor has the time or willingness to guide me correctly. I am new to AA, and I don't know the protocol for working steps, what I should/shouldn't be doing with the program. I agree that 1,2, and 3 go together. I have a concept of a HP, but I don't think I could put it into words. There have been some things that have happened to me that I can only attribute to a HP. I actually have someone who I plan to ask to help me do a moral inventory, since I don't really even know what that involves. Thanks again!

sugErspun

You seem to be in the right place. For me, a sponsor guides me through the steps. That is really it. If I get some nifty life advice, and friendship out of it, then all the better. I never got 'it' until I had a sponsor who just had me read the book and do the work. I have been in and around AA for 7 years, had up to 2 years without drinking...and went out. Another year - and went out (drunk for no reason).

Something has changed this time, and it actually feels like I am doing less. I let go of 'staying sober' because I cannot stay sober. Regardless of my HP conception etc- all I have done differently this time is work with a man who has something I want (happiness, peace, serenity - above and beyond sobriety), read the book and do what it says to do. It is really that simple.

If your sponsor is unable to guide you through the steps and through the book. I would suggest asking someone else - there is no harm in it, only harm avoided.

When I hear someone say "sobriety is the by-product of something much more" I understand. It took 7 years but it didn't have to.

All the best and thank you for posting.

Treasure2Find

This is exactly why I wasn’t sure of posting what I posted. Now it seems instead of going with the year theory it sounds like your going with your own theory. I got a sponsor one that I could relate to but someone who knew the Big Book. My sponsor can quote the book page for page and has a real message. These are usually the guys know one likes because they tell it like it is and they tell it out of the big book.

I asked him if he would sponsor me, he asked if I was willing to go to any length and I said yes. He agreed to sponsor me and I asked him if we would be doing some step work and he said my only job here is to stay sober and bring you through the steps. He then asked me if I had a Big Book and a 12 and 12. Good luck with your search and your 30 days….