Paulos

Thank you for your pity/support you guys, one of you said don't stop posting your feelings so ok... but damn think of it ... I joined soberrecovery LAST January and here I am THIS January, my alcoholism has improved as in consumption and how much I drank, but ... that's it so far, I can't get a whole month in...

CarolD

Hmmm...
I see you are a Video Game Sage

This one is not a game but...

Alcoholics Anonymous UK Newcomers

Good to see you again

Paulos

I'm from USA.

CarolD

The UK and USA share a language
well....sorta.

You will be able to understand most of it I think.

Paulos

thanks I think. hum... jeez... so depressed...

Tazman53

Carol that is a fantastic link, it lays out the hope that one can find a solution.... heck it put a tear in this old mans eyes!

Paulos there is a solution, there is no reason for you to be depressed or alone any more, there are people who know what it is like to be trapped by alcohol that have found a solution for it and they would love nothing more then to show you the way they found to stop drinking and be happy not drinking.

Paulos

Yeah and now I have some new issues... and old issues that are hard for me to face..... all the old days of contractors always being at my house... new additions... new annoyances... now my former stepfather getting out of jail on parole and being at my house... and with a door being installed right next to mine so it's like a god darn apartment... everyone with their living quarters, I never wanted my house to be like that... so yeah things are on my mind, hit my punching bag so hard it fell off the ground... day 7 without booze/nicotine, I really could easily ooze back into it... but no, I'm better than that.

Sugah

Do you work, Paulos? And if not, what kind of social life do you have? You sound very isolated where you are, and fearful, with the renovations, of becoming more so.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Paulos

Yeah I'm a home type of guy, if I had a social life I'd be an alcoholic forever though. The renovations by the way are in MY HOUSE AND I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL BAD ABOUT IT HAVING A SOCIAL LIFE OR NOT!!!!!!

Tazman53

You know Paulos when I was at the worst part of my drinking I did it all alone, I had no social life, all I did was isolate and drink! Drinking was my world! Being alone was my world. In order for me to get and stay sober I had to stop isolating, I had to change, I had to be a MAN and admit that my way of isolating and doing everything on my own did nothing but keep me drunk!

In order to be able to change I had to be MAN enough to get out of my isolation that kept me drinking, you see I was scared of the real world, as a result I hide in my garage and drank!

I had to become a MAN and that meant doing things I was afraid to do, I had to be MAN enough to put out my hand and ask for help and when given advice like going to a recovery program like AA and socializing with other sober alcoholics, I had to MAN up!!!!

Oh sure I could sit in my garage all by myself and claim "I am a man, I can do this all by myself", but in reality I was not a man, I was a coward who was afraid to ask for help, I was not man enough to step out of my garage and deal with the world!

I became a MAN when I put my hand out for help and was MAN enough to get out of that garage and into the world. My MANHOOD truly began in AA, you see I had been hiding from being a man by staying in my garage and by drinking.

Paulos

hum........ life sucks............... I suck.........

nandm

I felt the same way each time I tried quitting on my own.

The only thing that changed how I felt while trying to maintain sobriety was finding a program of recovery. The program helped me to not feel miserable inside while not drinking.

Just my two cents worth. Sorry you are feeling so rotten. Many of us have been there