Paulos

can't believe I slept most of Christmas, ever since I've gone off booze I've had less energy... upsetting indeed... 24 days with having no drinks and went over to my neighbor's house and I ended up having a few drinks... well at least I know how to stop those cravings now, not like I went back to booze and am dying for it... well ... o well, I'm upset about lots of things but I'll do my best..

findingout

"Rome was not built in a day
Opposition will come your way
But the hotter the battle you see
It's the sweeter the victory, now

You can get it if you really want
You can get it if you really want
You can get it if you really want
But you must try, try and try
Try and try, you'll succeed at last"

- Jimmy Cliff

Tazman53

Paulos if you weren't dying for it you would not have drank it. You did well with the 24 days, if you did 24 days on your own, imagine what you could do with some help!

CarolD

Well....
I had to want to be sober
more than I wanted to drink.

I so hope you will find sobriety again

Rimmy

Hope things are back on track Paulos. Don't let a few drinks drive you down a path you don't want to walk.

Music

Reference your post about "Har, Har, 20 solid days." When I read that I thought to myself, "he's going down." Ego Paulos, ego!! The way to get rid of those cravings isn't by taking a drink. It's about learning to think differently so that the cravings aren't a big thing. Getting help so when the cravings hit, there's someone to call to talk to, or somewhere to go to be with people who can assist you through the tough period. Doing it your way is what got you here in the first place. If you keep doing what you always did, you'll keep getting what you always got!! EGO!!!

mike_mass

Hang in there...I would avoid the neighbor over the New Year.

Cathy31

So so true...I can relate. And the worst is our ego doesn't allow us to see where we've gone wrong... AA works for me. Today I would not dream of picking upa drink at a neighbour's house - I would not pick up a drink ANYWHERE because not only do I know that I am an alcoholic, but I also know that I have a mental obsession that says 'this time it will be different' and a physical allergy which means that, eventually, may be not first time, but it will come, once I pick up a drink, I will develop the phenomenon of craving and drink til I pass out/fall down and countless destruction that follows. This knowledge for me is paramount.
Cathy31
x

Tazman53

Music said a mouthful which I must agree with.

Paulos do you REALLY want to quit drinking?

If the answer is yes then quit trying to stop drinking Paulos's way, I tried Martin's way for 10 years and failed every time, it was all due to EGO!!!!!!

Join a team!!!! A recovery team where everyone helps everyone! A team with no rules! A team where there are no leaders, where everyone is equal! A team whose primary purpose is to stay sober and to help other alcoholics achieve sobriety! A team of people who are there for 2 reasons only, to stay sober and to help others stay sober.

Jfanagle

Paulos,

Interesting way of assuaging the desire for alcohol; "well at least I know how to stop those cravings now." There are in fact always many options when faced with pain.

In the case of a severe headache one method would be a loaded gun to the head, although that cure may be a “wee bit” drastic and without "satisfactory results in the long run" but it is a way to stop the pain. However since so many others have used and suggest aspirin, I will follow the route that those ahead of me have taken.

Just my musings, I do hope you find a path that yields a better life for you. You seem like a bright fellow, damn shame to waste that intelligence.

Best of luck,

Jon

Paulos

Thank you Rimmy, yeah I haven't had anything to drink in a while, and I told you Taz I wasn't dying for it just the holidays were tough... always an excuse though, for me I'm doing good lol.

Dee74

I wouldn't catastrophise this...
but I would look at what your mid to long range plans are Paulos...I know you want to quit...but you've gotta walk the walk to beat this...that means no reason is good enough to drink.

No excuses.

Great on the 24 days tho...see you in a month on your 30

D

Miss Pink

Dont think he is catastrophising...more like minimizing.

Maybe its just not the bad...yet.


Good luck Paulos! I hope you want to want it soon!

Dee74

Paulos isn't the one catastrophising, no.
I'm finding this thread heavy handed - makes me want to run anywhere but to AA.
I wonder what it's like for Paulos ?

D

chip

Hey Paulos
Hang in there! I hope you can get back on track.
chip

Rimmy

Paulos,

If you happen to agree with this, by all means don't stop posting your feelings. You had a few drinks, you stopped and you shared it. That's what these forums are for. I've been posting my mistakes for 2 years.... Everyone that posted in this thread want's the best for you.

If you don't agree with this, then I just posted to say I hope your doin' all right today

User_Name

I've said a few times before Paulos, I think you and I have a lot in common in terms of our drinking. I can always relate to your thoughts. A little more than a year ago I was able to put together about a month without booze, but then relapsed and never tried to stop again. I am now working a program (AA if it matters) and I have about a month. I'll tell you when I stopped last year and wasn't working a program I didn't feel very good about anything, but I didn't drink. It was hell, cravings, depression, anxiety. Now, I am working a program and have about the same amount of time. I feel soooo much better about everything and I attribute that to having a plan and a program. I have sober friends, have sober fun, I am experiencing less depression and anxiety, and I am gaining knowledge about how this disease works so I know how to tell if my mind is playing tricks on me.

This is just my experience, and I wanted to share it with you. Hope all is well!

Music

"At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way."


It seems as though with the onset of PC, and the idea that to be honest enough to tell someone what we see going on is mean spirited and condescending, the above statement from "How It Works" in the Big Book is ever more pertinent. So I say this. If going to AA is more of a threat than drinking, you apparently have more drinking to do. Some people just aren't desparate enough to consider the possible truth in what someone observes. Being defensive is one of the symptoms of denial, which is a barrier that stands in the way of success.

Rimmy

What you went through is like how I feel a lot

Tazman53

Paulos that 24 days was an awesome display of self will, you should be proud of that.

If you really want to stay stopped though you should look into some sort of recovery program, if AA is not for you then try SMART or some other program, why fight this alone? Life, drinking or not is so much better with other people in it with the same goals as you.

When I was drinking before I finally reached the point of isolationism because no one drank like I did I always hung out with fellow drinkers. Why because they helped me to justify my drinking.

When I finally decided I really wanted to quit drinking and stay stopped I started hanging out with people just like me, they had a drinking problem, they had quit drinking and stayed stopped by hanging out with other people who had quit drinking and wanted to stay stopped. Staying stopped I have found to be so much easier being with people who did not drink and did not want to drink.