THIS time I don't FEEL as ready...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,202
THIS time I don't FEEL as ready...
I know I've been clogging these forums with the same bull crap each time, but this time I feel less comfortable with not drinking and I know if I try I'll fail, god if I could only WEEN off it...
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Cutting back doesn't work for alcoholics Paulos. It might seem okay for awhile, but you won't be able to maintain it for the long term.
What I do know is that you have to be truly committed to not drinking to make it work. It's hard to do and takes a lot of work every day. I hope you can find the motivation you need.
What I do know is that you have to be truly committed to not drinking to make it work. It's hard to do and takes a lot of work every day. I hope you can find the motivation you need.
Next stop: real life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 990
I'd better get my butt off SR then, if it's sober people only.
I wish I could wean off too, Paulos, but I don't think that's possible. Ultimately, I think we either drink, or we don't. No middle ground.
I wish I could wean off too, Paulos, but I don't think that's possible. Ultimately, I think we either drink, or we don't. No middle ground.
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Originally Posted by Paulos 
I know if I try I'll fail,
If you don't try, then you have already failed.
It took me a long time to even begin to understand about the process of recovery--but one thing that helped me get to where I am today--I never quit trying.
:Jumprope: Hang in there! 
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Are members allowed here who are not sober?
If you are interested in quitting and are
here for support and information...certainly.
And ...
.
If you are interested in quitting and are
here for support and information...certainly.
And ...
.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome to the Alcoholism forum.
In here we share our experiences strengths and hopes as it relates to the issue of Alcoholism.
Please feel free to participate and tell us about your own particular method of dealing with alcohol,bearing in mind to always be respectful of other members and to whatever method they might employ for staying sober.
There are many roads to recovery and we don’t all choose the same one.Remember it is not our place to try and decide what is best for another.
The written word is a powerful instrument.It has the power to heal as well as to cause injury.Please share responsibly.
By helping to maintain an atmosphere of encouragement and support we can all hear a message of hope and walk away with something useful.
In a spirit of unity all of us are winners.
__________________
Peter
Welcome to the Alcoholism forum.
In here we share our experiences strengths and hopes as it relates to the issue of Alcoholism.
Please feel free to participate and tell us about your own particular method of dealing with alcohol,bearing in mind to always be respectful of other members and to whatever method they might employ for staying sober.
There are many roads to recovery and we don’t all choose the same one.Remember it is not our place to try and decide what is best for another.
The written word is a powerful instrument.It has the power to heal as well as to cause injury.Please share responsibly.
By helping to maintain an atmosphere of encouragement and support we can all hear a message of hope and walk away with something useful.
In a spirit of unity all of us are winners.
__________________
Peter
Last edited by CarolD; 11-25-2007 at 09:36 PM. Reason: Added Info
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
it's the guys who haven't yet made up their minds who might just get the most out of SR in my opinion
keep posting Paulos...it might seem insurmountable now...but the one day - heck one minute - at a time thing really does help
D
keep posting Paulos...it might seem insurmountable now...but the one day - heck one minute - at a time thing really does help
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Dear Paulos
You are welcome here. I don't think you'd be here if you didn't want to do something about your drinking. If drinking is a problem for you, and you need support, this is a good place to find it.
When I came to SR, I was still drinking. It was the love and encouragement of the other SR members that helped me quit. I also found that people were honest with me here. Sometimes the honesty hurt, but it helped me see my situation for what it really was.
My plan was to ween myself off alcohol at first. I wanted to "cut back". When I tried to do this, I hit a new low of disappointment with myself. I found that I truly did not enjoy drinking when I was trying to control it. In the end of my drinking days, I drank because I had to drink... there was no joy in it.
I realized that by drinking, I was clubbing myself over the head again and again... It was a vicious cycle, and alcohol was in control as long as I drank it. My addiciton was winning the battle as long as I fed it. "cutting back", "weening myself off" or "controlled drinking" were all ways that I was fooling myself into continuing a horrible path of self destruction.
Like many others before me, I realized that I'd be better off if I didn't drink. Things were rough for me when I quit...but...they got better. Getting the alcohol out of my system allowed me to build a new life on the foundation of sobriety. I wouldn't trade it for the world. If you are willing, like many others, you can be free of the craving and compulsive drinking that is dragging you down...
The bottom line for alcoholics is that abstinence is the only way to recover.
Alcoholism is progressive, and it can end 3 different ways:
- Death
- Institution ( jail or sanitorium )
- Abstinence
If you are not willing, or not ready, I hope you'll keep reading stuff on this site. It can really help a person become willing and ready to quit.
Why do you feel that you arn't ready? From your posts, I gather that you are tired of hurting. When an alcoholic keeps drinking, things always get worse. Are you ready to stop hurting?
Stick with us, Paulos. It can get better for you.
chip
You are welcome here. I don't think you'd be here if you didn't want to do something about your drinking. If drinking is a problem for you, and you need support, this is a good place to find it.
When I came to SR, I was still drinking. It was the love and encouragement of the other SR members that helped me quit. I also found that people were honest with me here. Sometimes the honesty hurt, but it helped me see my situation for what it really was.
My plan was to ween myself off alcohol at first. I wanted to "cut back". When I tried to do this, I hit a new low of disappointment with myself. I found that I truly did not enjoy drinking when I was trying to control it. In the end of my drinking days, I drank because I had to drink... there was no joy in it.
I realized that by drinking, I was clubbing myself over the head again and again... It was a vicious cycle, and alcohol was in control as long as I drank it. My addiciton was winning the battle as long as I fed it. "cutting back", "weening myself off" or "controlled drinking" were all ways that I was fooling myself into continuing a horrible path of self destruction.
Like many others before me, I realized that I'd be better off if I didn't drink. Things were rough for me when I quit...but...they got better. Getting the alcohol out of my system allowed me to build a new life on the foundation of sobriety. I wouldn't trade it for the world. If you are willing, like many others, you can be free of the craving and compulsive drinking that is dragging you down...
The bottom line for alcoholics is that abstinence is the only way to recover.
Alcoholism is progressive, and it can end 3 different ways:
- Death
- Institution ( jail or sanitorium )
- Abstinence
If you are not willing, or not ready, I hope you'll keep reading stuff on this site. It can really help a person become willing and ready to quit.
Why do you feel that you arn't ready? From your posts, I gather that you are tired of hurting. When an alcoholic keeps drinking, things always get worse. Are you ready to stop hurting?
Stick with us, Paulos. It can get better for you.
chip
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
okay, now we're getting somewhere.
I coudn't even stopped and stayed stopped if I tired.
When you get a chance..try reading the wordings to the 12 steps.
Ya know...there's not one word or phrase in there that say....
"I stopped drinking out of my own will."
I don't know...I guess it can be shameful thing if i WAS one of those people.
but ya know..I AM one of those so call people that has alcoholism.
the next time you catch a cold or get sick....tell yourself this.
" i don't like having a cold or being sick"
see..if that changes the facts of you having a cold.
I coudn't even stopped and stayed stopped if I tired.
When you get a chance..try reading the wordings to the 12 steps.
Ya know...there's not one word or phrase in there that say....
"I stopped drinking out of my own will."
I don't know...I guess it can be shameful thing if i WAS one of those people.
but ya know..I AM one of those so call people that has alcoholism.
the next time you catch a cold or get sick....tell yourself this.
" i don't like having a cold or being sick"
see..if that changes the facts of you having a cold.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Paulos if you are wanting to quit drinking you know you are welcome here.
Next time you decide to go buy some booze why don't you grab the phone book, look up the AA hotline and give them a call instead, you will find a real person on the other end who is an alcoholic that has found a solution to thier drinking problem and would be very happy to talk to you and share with you how they quit drinking and stayed stopped.
Paulos we all love you here and know the pain alcohol is causing you, you have been trying a long time to quit using SR as your support system, why not double up the effort on your campaign and use AA for re-enforcement?
Paulos you are not alone and you can stop drinking if you are willing to try ANYthing to stop.
Next time you decide to go buy some booze why don't you grab the phone book, look up the AA hotline and give them a call instead, you will find a real person on the other end who is an alcoholic that has found a solution to thier drinking problem and would be very happy to talk to you and share with you how they quit drinking and stayed stopped.
Paulos we all love you here and know the pain alcohol is causing you, you have been trying a long time to quit using SR as your support system, why not double up the effort on your campaign and use AA for re-enforcement?
Paulos you are not alone and you can stop drinking if you are willing to try ANYthing to stop.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,002
Paulos,
First of all, I'd like to commend you in being honest. I like how you admit that you do not want to give up drinking. Many of us at the beginning of treatment thought of every excuse why they could not quit. You just laid it on the table honestly.
I assume that you are young. The younger generation in AA, from what I've personally seen, struggles with the ideals of the program. However, I know many young men and women who have 1 to 5 years of sobriety and range from ages 17 to 25. There is a kid I know in the program who is 14 years old and got sober when he was 11!!!
I'll make the point that I've made in the past many times in here, and in meetings. Alcoholism untreated leads to death. Not maybe, not usually, definitely. If I haven't of done anything about my alcoholism, I would of lost my family, my friends, my job, and eventually my life.
I have seen first hand alcoholism take lives. I carried the casket of my uncle who died of alcoholism, he was 53. What was even sadder was that there were only 20 people at his funeral. Most of those 20 people didn't really know my uncle, they were there to support my grandmother who just lost her only son. Only 1 out of his 3 kids showed up. He died pretty much alone. His drinking damaged his relationships with his family and friends. This disease is absolutely mortifying, and the damage it leaves behind with loved ones effected is equally mortifying.
Keep coming back, and listen to those who have sobriety.
Tom
First of all, I'd like to commend you in being honest. I like how you admit that you do not want to give up drinking. Many of us at the beginning of treatment thought of every excuse why they could not quit. You just laid it on the table honestly.
I assume that you are young. The younger generation in AA, from what I've personally seen, struggles with the ideals of the program. However, I know many young men and women who have 1 to 5 years of sobriety and range from ages 17 to 25. There is a kid I know in the program who is 14 years old and got sober when he was 11!!!
I'll make the point that I've made in the past many times in here, and in meetings. Alcoholism untreated leads to death. Not maybe, not usually, definitely. If I haven't of done anything about my alcoholism, I would of lost my family, my friends, my job, and eventually my life.
I have seen first hand alcoholism take lives. I carried the casket of my uncle who died of alcoholism, he was 53. What was even sadder was that there were only 20 people at his funeral. Most of those 20 people didn't really know my uncle, they were there to support my grandmother who just lost her only son. Only 1 out of his 3 kids showed up. He died pretty much alone. His drinking damaged his relationships with his family and friends. This disease is absolutely mortifying, and the damage it leaves behind with loved ones effected is equally mortifying.
Keep coming back, and listen to those who have sobriety.
Tom
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 190
I found it easier when I quit trying to quit and surrendered.
I believe a surrender brings a period of reprieve,
a window of opportunity to engage in the program and complete the work.
Even Bill Wilson could get dry on occasion.!
Quitting is an act of willpower, willpower is useless.
The harder a fly struggles in a web the more tangled it becomes.
Surrender is the opposite,
its an acknowledgment that willpower will not work.
The end result is a stopping effect on active drinking, ....for a time.
I believe a surrender brings a period of reprieve,
a window of opportunity to engage in the program and complete the work.
Even Bill Wilson could get dry on occasion.!
Quitting is an act of willpower, willpower is useless.
The harder a fly struggles in a web the more tangled it becomes.
Surrender is the opposite,
its an acknowledgment that willpower will not work.
The end result is a stopping effect on active drinking, ....for a time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Newton Iowa
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by Paulos
-.-..... got drunk again, well... hope I can start my campaign again... I feel strong this time.
Maybe you just need to suffer a little more. When you have lost enough, it gets easier to stop.:praying
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
I don't know..suffering is not a requirment, but if you insist no
one is going to stop you, and even if people did step in and
try to froce you to stop..you're going to figth them off.lol
it's pretty simple actaully...it really has nothing to do with
wheather you're a bad person..yes we all done stupid and crazy
things when we were drunk and in the grip of alcoholism
and there's no excuse for it.
the simple thing about it is....your body has a craving for alcohol
you mind has the complusion becuase there's chemicles going
into your brain too. Your brain is addicted to it.
You know these informtions.
Anyway...if you keep on listening to your brain and reaction to what
your brain wants...it's going to kill ya. All of the lack of self worth
or selfpity is part of the mechanisms that keeps you drinking or
in the cycle.
There's a part of you in there somewhere that knows. that's
why you're reaching out. Some people say follow your heart.
Not you're head that shoots out a bunch of chemicle or conjor crazy
thoughts to generate off the walls emotions to keep you in the cycle.
when people say "get out of yourself"
They are merley saying...get out of your head.
well...I know drinking isn't working today no matter how long I've
been clean and sober.
one is going to stop you, and even if people did step in and
try to froce you to stop..you're going to figth them off.lol
it's pretty simple actaully...it really has nothing to do with
wheather you're a bad person..yes we all done stupid and crazy
things when we were drunk and in the grip of alcoholism
and there's no excuse for it.
the simple thing about it is....your body has a craving for alcohol
you mind has the complusion becuase there's chemicles going
into your brain too. Your brain is addicted to it.
You know these informtions.
Anyway...if you keep on listening to your brain and reaction to what
your brain wants...it's going to kill ya. All of the lack of self worth
or selfpity is part of the mechanisms that keeps you drinking or
in the cycle.
There's a part of you in there somewhere that knows. that's
why you're reaching out. Some people say follow your heart.
Not you're head that shoots out a bunch of chemicle or conjor crazy
thoughts to generate off the walls emotions to keep you in the cycle.
when people say "get out of yourself"
They are merley saying...get out of your head.
well...I know drinking isn't working today no matter how long I've
been clean and sober.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
Getting Sober...
Hi Paulos,
I was another one close to death from my alcoholism. The last four years of my drinking was an every day drunk after I got home from work. I had no choice...the alcohol ruled my body and if I didn't have the first drink I could not control the incredible shakes.
I finally went for help and was detoxed in a hospital setting. I also got help for depression. I was dead serious about quitting...I wanted a life back...even if I was going to be depressed.
I do have a healthy body except for aging things like arthritis & such. I am very happy sober, my husband is sober, and together we make a diffrence in our life together.
You are welcome here as long as you have a desire to quit drinking. We aren't doctors, but we do share our experience, strength, and hope with others that they may find their way to sobriety.
Keep coming Back,
kelsh
I was another one close to death from my alcoholism. The last four years of my drinking was an every day drunk after I got home from work. I had no choice...the alcohol ruled my body and if I didn't have the first drink I could not control the incredible shakes.
I finally went for help and was detoxed in a hospital setting. I also got help for depression. I was dead serious about quitting...I wanted a life back...even if I was going to be depressed.
I do have a healthy body except for aging things like arthritis & such. I am very happy sober, my husband is sober, and together we make a diffrence in our life together.
You are welcome here as long as you have a desire to quit drinking. We aren't doctors, but we do share our experience, strength, and hope with others that they may find their way to sobriety.
Keep coming Back,
kelsh
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