Gettingstronger1

I just have a couple questions and if it is not OK for me to post here, please let me know. I love my AH from the very bottom of my heart. He is a good man, works fulltime so I can work part time and spend the rest of my time with my baby girl.
He has given up drinking and stayed sober in the past but had a bad relapse after our baby girl was born. He lied about it for months, had a couple bad episodes, all of which I thought would be enough for him to change. Finally, he drove drunk with our baby girl in the car. He was very remorseful and claimed he wanted to change. Not three months later, he was arrested with his second DUI while driving home to watch our baby so I could go to work. HE came home with the same remorse and passion to get better. It has faded, He has gone to a counselor 3 times and is tkaing antidepressants. He has done a program online called smart recovery probably two or three times.
Does he have any hope? Can alcoholics feel love? IS there anything I can do to help him? I'm afraid that if he doesn't begin to show more of an effort in recovery I will leave. THe only reasons I stayed before was so he could worry about his recovery and not have to worry about our relationship. However, endangering the life of our baby broke a boundary for me. (I had told him, "If you need to drink, then drink but not around me and not around our baby....don't bring us into this.")
ANyways, I'd appreciate any thoughts.

Pinkcuda

Of course there's hope for him. Yes Alcoholics do feel love. Yes he probably has a strong desire to quit drinking and be the best father he can. The only wrench in the whole plan is Alcohol. He's powerless! It has him, hook, line, and sinker.
I don't know what kind of counselor he's going to, but if the counselor isn't an Alcoholic he's wading into unfamiliar waters.
Best bet is another Alcoholic. Somebody who's been in your husbands shoes and who can show him the path out of this mess. It's hard to explain this to a non Alcoholic who may not understand the grip Alcohol has on us. It's not a matter of just quitting or controling it. This stuff will follow usto the gates of hell if we let it. It has killed much better and stronger men than myself and I'll always remember that. I personally went to A.A. and found someone who has taken his machette and cleared a path to sobriety. I followed it. Your Husband and Babys father is more than welcome to follow that very same path. There's room for everyone.

tellus

Of course we can feel love.

The problem is his alcoholism is clouding is priorities. 'Cuda is right, this thing has done in the strongest people. Is your husband in any sort of treatment? AA, RR, SMART (face-to-face), even just corresponding with another alkie? Odds are, he loves you and your baby girl more than anything in the world, and hates himself for endangering her. He wants to change, I assure you.

But if you feel he's endangering your daughter... maybe your leaving will be the kick in the pants he needs.

CarolD

I see you are using our Friends & Family forum on this
situation ...and Yes it's ok for you to post here too.

Before I became an alcoholic...I spent 10 years dealing with
my young adult son and daughters various addictions.
No matter what I did ..they continued to slide down
and Al anon helped me immensley.

I finally turned them over to God's care and stepped away.

No...there is no happy ending to our story.
All I can tell you is I had to do this drastic action
for my stability. Financial Mental and Health.

It's my experience that love does not win over addiction.

Blessings to the 3 of you

Gettingstronger1

I apologize, that was a stupid question to ask if alcoholics can feel love. THank you all for your posts.

CarolD

You don't need to apologize ...it's ok to ask questions.
I understand your concern and it's a bad situation you are in.