I've been away for a few days
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: OKC
Posts: 44
I've been away for a few days
We've had a ton of stuff going on in my family over the last week and I haven't had time/energy to post. The good news is that my four week sobriety anniversary will be October 8. And with all that's been going on, it's a monumental achievement!
My paternal grandmother passed away a week ago and it's been very hard on my dad, sister and me. My dad was her only child and she helped raise my sister and me after my parents divorced and my dad was awarded custody. This was 30 years ago - he was one of the first fathers to get custody back then in our state.
The three of us spent the day that she died with her, though she was already dead at the hospital. And then we planned her funeral which was held on Thursday. We'd never been so involved in planning a funeral, but I must say that it was a comfort to make selections and plan the service. And it was a really lovely service.
My dad is not in good shape mentally or physically. He's been a binge drinker as long as I can remember. Alcoholism runs in his family, though they were functional drinkers. No doubt it's the roots of my alcoholism and co-dependency. He and I have had talks about it and he says he wants to quit. I'm encouraging him to visit AA or Celebrate Recovery for support. He knows I quit and am very happy with the decision.
He is now upset with my grandmother's estate. She left him, my sister and me as co-trustees who must agree on how the income and principal from the estate is used to help him. At first he seemed fine with it. Now he doesn't. My sister and I love him very much and would never let him go without and we promised our grandmother we'd take care of him. But I think his alcoholism is playing tricks with his mind. I warned him that heavy drinking can make people paranoid and unable to discern between deception and reality.
It's soon yet so hopefully he'll come around. It's soon for all of us.
Anyone been in a similar situation? Any words of wisdom? Any thoughts would be appreciated at this time. Thank you!
My paternal grandmother passed away a week ago and it's been very hard on my dad, sister and me. My dad was her only child and she helped raise my sister and me after my parents divorced and my dad was awarded custody. This was 30 years ago - he was one of the first fathers to get custody back then in our state.
The three of us spent the day that she died with her, though she was already dead at the hospital. And then we planned her funeral which was held on Thursday. We'd never been so involved in planning a funeral, but I must say that it was a comfort to make selections and plan the service. And it was a really lovely service.
My dad is not in good shape mentally or physically. He's been a binge drinker as long as I can remember. Alcoholism runs in his family, though they were functional drinkers. No doubt it's the roots of my alcoholism and co-dependency. He and I have had talks about it and he says he wants to quit. I'm encouraging him to visit AA or Celebrate Recovery for support. He knows I quit and am very happy with the decision.
He is now upset with my grandmother's estate. She left him, my sister and me as co-trustees who must agree on how the income and principal from the estate is used to help him. At first he seemed fine with it. Now he doesn't. My sister and I love him very much and would never let him go without and we promised our grandmother we'd take care of him. But I think his alcoholism is playing tricks with his mind. I warned him that heavy drinking can make people paranoid and unable to discern between deception and reality.
It's soon yet so hopefully he'll come around. It's soon for all of us.
Anyone been in a similar situation? Any words of wisdom? Any thoughts would be appreciated at this time. Thank you!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I have no experience dealing with a drinking parent.
I do hope he will follow your good example.
Congratulations on your sober time....
I am so sorry for your loss..
Prayers of comfort for you and your family
I do hope he will follow your good example.
Congratulations on your sober time....
I am so sorry for your loss..
Prayers of comfort for you and your family
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 63
the only advice i have is just not to discuss the estate stuff when he's either drunk or hung over... i know i'm an idiot during those times. i wish you the best, and sorry to hear about your grandmother 
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