Alcohol and creativity
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Folkestone, Kent
Posts: 2
Alcohol and creativity
Without alcohol, my brain feels like a block of ice. A block of ice, burgeoning with all these ideas waiting to be unlocked. Like a prism waiting for that beam of light to hit it, so it can turn that beam of light into the colours of the rainbow.
Alcohol is like warm water, melting the ice: if anyone here knows how an electromagnetic works, that's the closest I can describe my desire for alcohol. On its own, an iron bar is merely an iron bar. But surround it with an electrical current, and it becomes an magnet: an electromagnet. Only then will it be able to trap things in its field. That's how I feel about alcohol: without it, I am a skeleton. Like Frankenstein's monster, apply the current, which is not electricity but alcohol, and I come alive. I can trap the ideas swimming in my mind.
I recognise that there is a link between alcohol and anxiety. I can see the logic behind this. Ideas, dreams, thoughts... these are things we naturally want to hide. It is in our nature to hide them, to protect our vulnerabilities and our thoughts as they can be used against us; a primitive mechanism carried over the way remainders are carried over from a sum.
Anxiety, alcohol, inhibitions... it seems like they are all interconnected and that when you push one button, another button pops out. And for every button than you push in,another button will always pop out. So it is self-defeating. There is no way to push all the buttons in, and keep them in, at the same time.
Thank you for listening. Any... any feedback, anyone who understands, any tiny little crumb at all, would be appreciated.
I'm tired of being drunk, but I don't want to be sober and paralysed either.
Alcohol is like warm water, melting the ice: if anyone here knows how an electromagnetic works, that's the closest I can describe my desire for alcohol. On its own, an iron bar is merely an iron bar. But surround it with an electrical current, and it becomes an magnet: an electromagnet. Only then will it be able to trap things in its field. That's how I feel about alcohol: without it, I am a skeleton. Like Frankenstein's monster, apply the current, which is not electricity but alcohol, and I come alive. I can trap the ideas swimming in my mind.
I recognise that there is a link between alcohol and anxiety. I can see the logic behind this. Ideas, dreams, thoughts... these are things we naturally want to hide. It is in our nature to hide them, to protect our vulnerabilities and our thoughts as they can be used against us; a primitive mechanism carried over the way remainders are carried over from a sum.
Anxiety, alcohol, inhibitions... it seems like they are all interconnected and that when you push one button, another button pops out. And for every button than you push in,another button will always pop out. So it is self-defeating. There is no way to push all the buttons in, and keep them in, at the same time.
Thank you for listening. Any... any feedback, anyone who understands, any tiny little crumb at all, would be appreciated.
I'm tired of being drunk, but I don't want to be sober and paralysed either.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: brooklyn, new york
Posts: 1,639
well, get away from your very lucid description of your addiction
if your head was a block of ice
well, you would probably have a great view of the artic thru 3 feet of ice
man, oh, man
the electromagnet thing, etc
ok, i go for the empty feeling
but
that is the john barleycorn talking
see, you get me doing it
a good idea
write pros and cons of drinking
pen a 1 year goal plan
make a list of priorities
if you find time, go to an AA meeting
and
start new
take control of your life
that's what it's all about
reality
best
fraankie
if your head was a block of ice
well, you would probably have a great view of the artic thru 3 feet of ice
man, oh, man
the electromagnet thing, etc
ok, i go for the empty feeling
but
that is the john barleycorn talking
see, you get me doing it
a good idea
write pros and cons of drinking
pen a 1 year goal plan
make a list of priorities
if you find time, go to an AA meeting
and
start new
take control of your life
that's what it's all about
reality
best
fraankie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: media, pa
Posts: 243
the thing w/alcohol is that its disinhibiting effects are temporary, while the physical damage is not. Any substance that changes the nervous system might provide some relief, but at what cost?
my aunt has been in allanon for decades, and she's said alcoholics are generally 'sensitive'. makes perfect sense. alcohol regulates that sensitivity or anxiety.
we are sentient beings and have the ability to overcome alcohol's (or DOC) instant gratification.
for me, i'm done romanticizing weed's benefits because that only makes me long for it. now i focus on the detrimental and deleterious effects that herb has on me.
my aunt has been in allanon for decades, and she's said alcoholics are generally 'sensitive'. makes perfect sense. alcohol regulates that sensitivity or anxiety.
we are sentient beings and have the ability to overcome alcohol's (or DOC) instant gratification.
for me, i'm done romanticizing weed's benefits because that only makes me long for it. now i focus on the detrimental and deleterious effects that herb has on me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
Originally Posted by x1n3ohpd122y 
Without alcohol, my brain feels like a block of ice. A block of ice, burgeoning with all these ideas waiting to be unlocked. Like a prism waiting for that beam of light to hit it, so it can turn that beam of light into the colours of the rainbow.
Alcohol is like warm water, melting the ice: if anyone here knows how an electromagnetic works, that's the closest I can describe my desire for alcohol. On its own, an iron bar is merely an iron bar. But surround it with an electrical current, and it becomes an magnet: an electromagnet. Only then will it be able to trap things in its field. That's how I feel about alcohol: without it, I am a skeleton. Like Frankenstein's monster, apply the current, which is not electricity but alcohol, and I come alive. I can trap the ideas swimming in my mind.
I recognise that there is a link between alcohol and anxiety. I can see the logic behind this. Ideas, dreams, thoughts... these are things we naturally want to hide. It is in our nature to hide them, to protect our vulnerabilities and our thoughts as they can be used against us; a primitive mechanism carried over the way remainders are carried over from a sum.
Anxiety, alcohol, inhibitions... it seems like they are all interconnected and that when you push one button, another button pops out. And for every button than you push in,another button will always pop out. So it is self-defeating. There is no way to push all the buttons in, and keep them in, at the same time.
Thank you for listening. Any... any feedback, anyone who understands, any tiny little crumb at all, would be appreciated.
I'm tired of being drunk, but I don't want to be sober and paralysed either.
Alcohol is like warm water, melting the ice: if anyone here knows how an electromagnetic works, that's the closest I can describe my desire for alcohol. On its own, an iron bar is merely an iron bar. But surround it with an electrical current, and it becomes an magnet: an electromagnet. Only then will it be able to trap things in its field. That's how I feel about alcohol: without it, I am a skeleton. Like Frankenstein's monster, apply the current, which is not electricity but alcohol, and I come alive. I can trap the ideas swimming in my mind.
I recognise that there is a link between alcohol and anxiety. I can see the logic behind this. Ideas, dreams, thoughts... these are things we naturally want to hide. It is in our nature to hide them, to protect our vulnerabilities and our thoughts as they can be used against us; a primitive mechanism carried over the way remainders are carried over from a sum.
Anxiety, alcohol, inhibitions... it seems like they are all interconnected and that when you push one button, another button pops out. And for every button than you push in,another button will always pop out. So it is self-defeating. There is no way to push all the buttons in, and keep them in, at the same time.
Thank you for listening. Any... any feedback, anyone who understands, any tiny little crumb at all, would be appreciated.
I'm tired of being drunk, but I don't want to be sober and paralysed either.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
I'm a writer, and I've been a writer, in one manner or another, since I can remember. The first testament (and I intend no pun) to that is a journal I found, started when I was five years old.
From the time I was thirteen or fourteen years old, I felt like you. Twenty years later and in the latter part of my addiction, I spent all my time filling notebook after notebook, all while altered in some way. When I got sober and I began working steps, I was told to write my fourth step. I balked!! No way! Not only would the tap not flow while I was sober, I was afraid it would trigger me and make me want to pick up.
But I did it. I didn't create any fourth step masterpiece, but I did it, and something happened. In the process of finding out who I was and what drove me, I was able, with a lot of spiritual help, to alter and recreate who I was.
Long story short, I have a manuscript of somewhere around three hundred fifty pages. I have a fairly large portfolio of poetry. I have essays that make me shake my head in wonder. How did these words flow through me? I don't write so much as take dictation these days, feeling very much like a channel of creativity rather than a "producer" of art.
Two final things:
Those notebooks? I went back to them a few months ago. What I thought was great stuff was fractured and mostly incoherent. At some point in time, I plan to use what's salvageable in a memoir.
And the stuff I've written since becoming unjammed? Three pieces have been published. One won an essay contest. Several others have been accepted for and presented at writer's conferences.
Oh, I lied. There's one more thing. I had to see my connection to the universe, had to embrace that connection on a spiritual level, and humbly accept the gift in order to melt that ice without a tequila or opiate or cocaine blowtorch. And the really cool thing is that I'm able to operate in a state of awareness. Booze and dope may have "helped" me get it flowing, but it muddied it, dulled it, and very often destroyed it -- just as it was doing to me.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
From the time I was thirteen or fourteen years old, I felt like you. Twenty years later and in the latter part of my addiction, I spent all my time filling notebook after notebook, all while altered in some way. When I got sober and I began working steps, I was told to write my fourth step. I balked!! No way! Not only would the tap not flow while I was sober, I was afraid it would trigger me and make me want to pick up.
But I did it. I didn't create any fourth step masterpiece, but I did it, and something happened. In the process of finding out who I was and what drove me, I was able, with a lot of spiritual help, to alter and recreate who I was.
Long story short, I have a manuscript of somewhere around three hundred fifty pages. I have a fairly large portfolio of poetry. I have essays that make me shake my head in wonder. How did these words flow through me? I don't write so much as take dictation these days, feeling very much like a channel of creativity rather than a "producer" of art.
Two final things:
Those notebooks? I went back to them a few months ago. What I thought was great stuff was fractured and mostly incoherent. At some point in time, I plan to use what's salvageable in a memoir.
And the stuff I've written since becoming unjammed? Three pieces have been published. One won an essay contest. Several others have been accepted for and presented at writer's conferences.
Oh, I lied. There's one more thing. I had to see my connection to the universe, had to embrace that connection on a spiritual level, and humbly accept the gift in order to melt that ice without a tequila or opiate or cocaine blowtorch. And the really cool thing is that I'm able to operate in a state of awareness. Booze and dope may have "helped" me get it flowing, but it muddied it, dulled it, and very often destroyed it -- just as it was doing to me.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Worcester
Posts: 789
Ok, I agree that alcohol fueled my day dream machine...but those day dreams were just that, a lot of dreams. In sobriety I actually create things and am able to assess them in a sober way. You may want to get the input of people who know you about how creative you actually are when using.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR x1n3ohpd122y
Your post reminded me of the messes I made
when trying to paint with LSD or alcohol in my system.
Swirls of unformed mass in weird colors....
to call them Abstracts was delusional...
I do hope you find answers to your drinking..
Recovery Rocks!
Your post reminded me of the messes I made
when trying to paint with LSD or alcohol in my system.
Swirls of unformed mass in weird colors....
to call them Abstracts was delusional...
I do hope you find answers to your drinking..
Recovery Rocks!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Hello X and welcome.I've noticed that when drinking my mind was in overdrive.In a discussion i always had a strong opinion and even better,in an argument could more than hold my own.I could know what was about to be said and launch my own attack immediately.Now my brain doesn't seem to click into gear so quickly and sometimes don't have too much to say.However,i have much more peace of mind and consider more my response.So many times i have overeacted,at least now i am thinking for myself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
without alcohol in my brain..I have total focus.
my focus cuts right through the fog just like a lasar beam or a spot light.
it's under more control and grace
with alcohol in my brain..it like a cluster f*@K.
yeah i can shoot a bunch of paint balls on the wall and call it art too.
if i have to get loaded to like a peace of art..that's a sign..maybe the
art is crappy. if I have to catch a buzz to enjoy a peace of music..
maybe the music ain't so good.
I use to think my guitar playing was good when i was loaded while
I was playing...good god hearing myself on playback is a different story.
I think it's a cammon thing..i use to get stoned out of my freaken mind
too ...to try to get in touched with god.lol
my creativity has increased ten fold since I got sober. it has more
percision, control, grace. why ? I'm more awear. I control my brain.
I'm the master..not my brain.
my focus cuts right through the fog just like a lasar beam or a spot light.
it's under more control and grace
with alcohol in my brain..it like a cluster f*@K.
yeah i can shoot a bunch of paint balls on the wall and call it art too.
if i have to get loaded to like a peace of art..that's a sign..maybe the
art is crappy. if I have to catch a buzz to enjoy a peace of music..
maybe the music ain't so good.
I use to think my guitar playing was good when i was loaded while
I was playing...good god hearing myself on playback is a different story.
I think it's a cammon thing..i use to get stoned out of my freaken mind
too ...to try to get in touched with god.lol
my creativity has increased ten fold since I got sober. it has more
percision, control, grace. why ? I'm more awear. I control my brain.
I'm the master..not my brain.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
I've supplemented my income, if not completely depended on art as a living most of my life.
the five years I drank ... I created not one single thing.
I'm sober a year - and I'm drawing for the first time again.
the five years I drank ... I created not one single thing.
I'm sober a year - and I'm drawing for the first time again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fluttering About
Posts: 3,760
The fog will lift and the compulsion willbe removed...It does feel like many other buttons pop out when one is pushed it...especially in the beginning...in time calrity comes, in time the creativity returns.
it did for me..Even after many 24 hours there are still a few butons that can bget pushed but today i have many tools to use and the compulsion is no longer an issue..But I can sure remember how tough it was in early recovery.
you articulated it very well.
Hang in there and I'm glad you are on board with us.
it did for me..Even after many 24 hours there are still a few butons that can bget pushed but today i have many tools to use and the compulsion is no longer an issue..But I can sure remember how tough it was in early recovery.
you articulated it very well.
Hang in there and I'm glad you are on board with us.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
"x1n3ohpd122y",
I drank long enough to realize that everything I thought I had and was, was only in my head, no one else could see it because all of what alcohol made me think I was lived only in my head.
What I have today others can see and enjoy or benefit from, when I was drinking what they saw was a drunk who thought he was "all that"!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
I have often wondered which made my self delusions of granduere bigger, weed or grass Paul, grass always made me think I was the most witty person upon the face of the earth when in reality the only people who thought I was funny or witty where the ones I was smoking dope with, every one else thought I was an idiot!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
I program (computers) a LOT better now that I don't drink.
My piano and keyboard playing has also become much better.
And, since I've entered recovery, my endless train of "great ideas" has reduced. Looking back, most of them were just empty pipe dreams anyway. They would've consumed all of my time and energy, and most likely yielded very little.
My piano and keyboard playing has also become much better.
And, since I've entered recovery, my endless train of "great ideas" has reduced. Looking back, most of them were just empty pipe dreams anyway. They would've consumed all of my time and energy, and most likely yielded very little.
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
Creativity is not something that I can speak to, HOWEVER I have come to realize that when I was drinking, for some unknown reason, I seemed to date MUCH BETTER LOOKING WOMEN!
What's that all about??
Jon
What's that all about??
Jon
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by Jfanagle
Creativity is not something that I can speak to, HOWEVER I have come to realize that when I was drinking, for some unknown reason, I seemed to date MUCH BETTER LOOKING WOMEN!
What's that all about??
Jon
What's that all about??
Jon
Coffee Drinker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Lobstah Land
Posts: 1,122
Ah,
But if you continue to subject that iron bar to a magnetic field, it will become magnatized, altered on an atomic level.
We have a saying, a pickle can never become a cucumber again.
By the time I started wondering if I had crossed that invisible line into alcoholism, it was already recieding rapidly into the far distance.
I had already lost control.
I must thank you for your analogy. Now I know that I am a Magnetic pickle!
Go to an AA meeting.
Ted
But if you continue to subject that iron bar to a magnetic field, it will become magnatized, altered on an atomic level.
We have a saying, a pickle can never become a cucumber again.
By the time I started wondering if I had crossed that invisible line into alcoholism, it was already recieding rapidly into the far distance.
I had already lost control.
I must thank you for your analogy. Now I know that I am a Magnetic pickle!
Go to an AA meeting.
Ted
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