mike_mass

Have a huge cup of coffee with lots of sugar and cream instead, better than a beer IMHO.

Octoman

Sounds like a good plan to me Mrsmurph

You have a good weekend too. Try not to get too upset and enjoy being sober (even if for a little while).

God Bless

Pipes Mcgee

Read your statement above, here. Does this sound like the statement of a normal, social drinker? You say that you want, so badly, to have one or two beers,.....but, have you EVER just wanted one or two beers? What makes you think that you will ever be happy stopping at one or two beers? Look how "not drinking" ruined what should have been a nice, pleasant meal? I'd say drinking is totally dominating your thoughts. That is not the mind of a social drinker. And willpower has nothing to do with an alcoholic not drinking. Nothing. The part of the brain where willpower manifests is a totally different part than where addiction does. That is why alcoholics cannot seem to stop. Thats why,..to alcoholics,..for a long long time,...quitting seems hopeless. I ask you this,....if quitting had anything to do with willpower,....how would anyones drinking ever get to the point of "hopeless"??

GrouchoTheCat

Hey MrsMurph,

I like having you around and as far as I am concerned, you can keep showing up here for as long as you wish!

laurenlanai25

hey mrsmurph!

everyone has said some wonderful things!! the only thing i can add is this;
while reading your post it reminded me of something i once read! maybe it will help!

"when i was controlling my drinking i wasnt having fun, when i was having fun i wasnt controlling my drinking!"

that just made sense to me! when i was controlling it,or shall i say trying to, i was constantly watching other people drink and counting their drinks too! i wasnt doing it intentionally but i was doing it. i was always comparing myself to them, well if they can have one more so can i, they seem to be ok! dont get me wrong my drinking got me into a whole lot of trouble but at the time i thought i was having fun, at least until the morning and i awoke with every emotion you could possibly feel! i have to remember that i cant compare myself to someones outsides! just because they look like they are having fun i dont know what keeps them up at night!!

good luck on your journey and i hope you find your path to happiness!!!

f911

After over 3 years of sobriety, which is now routine and somewhat easy, I occassionally think I can enjoy some mild, controlled drinking. That's when I come to this board and see all the "experiments" that people in the same situation have tried and failed. I am thankful that they post these failures so that I may learn from them and not make the same mistake.

jane

chip

Welcome PipesMcgee

Welcome *Amelia*

I hope the two of you will keep posting and reading in this forum.

Mrsmurph-
It sounds like you have a good plan. One day at at time works for many of us. I appreciate your honesty. Not all of us get the willingness to quit right away. Focusing on one day at a time is a solid plan. You may want to pray for the willingness to enjoy sobriety. Once you get the complete willingness, you may find that pure sobriety is BETTER than being able to have 1 or 2 beers. Willingness can lead to acceptance. Acceptance can be the cornerstone for a new and abundant life of sobriety.

I wish you contented and happy sobriety.
chip

Pipes Mcgee

The only other thing I can really think to say on this subject is that I never wanted to have just one or two beers. To me, that was never "drinking". For me, finishing two beers during a football game meant they just finished up the coin toss.

barb dwyer

example:

this happened ... ummm... tuesday.

my next door neighbor lost her job. she called me over (which, in *my* new neighborhood means she leaned out her window and yells *barb! come over!* LOL
so I did.
she said, I don't know if you can handle sitting here with me, but i'm gonna get drunk and I don't want to be alone.
she's ... not an alcoholic.
so I told her if I got uncomfortable I'd leave.
agreed.
so we sit on her front porch -
and she drinks a tall boy.
*
tht's it.
she went to bed.

that's (I think) how normal people do it.
I just ... sat there for a while.
trying to figure out where the actual 'drinking' happened.

OF COURSE I didn't get aq craving ... it was OVER too quick.

LOL

Dee74

LOL normies wouldn't get why I'm *killing* myself LAUGHING over here....
thanks BD



D

BP44

A complete and thorough first step alleviated all of those gray areas I had regarding the drinking game. Some of those you are posting here. The " why can't I just drink like normal people" and "maybe it will be different this time, afterall, I haven't had a drink in a while" or " I've educated myself on alcoholism, I know better now" The list goes on. And they are lies that my alcoholic mind tell me to justify the insanity of the first drink. Some of us, me included, had to go back out there after a period of sobriety to be convinced that we will NEVER be able to drink like normal people. Last weekend I was out on the lake with some other alcoholics and we cruised through an area called "cocktail cove". Now in years past I would view all the partying and be saying to myself " That looks like fun, I wish I could be partying liek that again " Still resistant to a complete life without alcohol. But today, I look at that scene, utter drunkeness, complete with thong bikini clad women funneling beer, and the first thought I have is.....I'm just not impressed. I've done it all before. And I know all about that. What I don't know about is recovering from a fatal disease. And that is what I am impressed with today. Working with other alcoholics to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind, body and spirit. If you hope you can drink, then I hope it for you. But if think you are an alcoholic and want recovery, there is a solution.

GrouchoTheCat

Barb, that was way too FUNNY! (ROFLMAO)!

One Drink !? What's the point!!??

(sounds like the way my better half drinks, one or two and she's out like a light)

Thanks for the laugh, and Murph, that was NOT how I drank!

Also, I have heard folks say that they would rather err on the side of sobriety, at least that way you might miss some of the ""good times"" but you will never be hung over, never get a DUI, never get locked up for drunk and disorderly, never have liver disease, never wind up with family that won't have anything to do with you...

HHHMMMmmmmm...

barb dwyer

Groucho ! (good to see ya)

yeah - she's 'on a binge' ... she's had A beer every day for ...three days.

I have no idea what that's all about.

Fluttering

It takes what it takes...

hopefully watching you she may see recovery works

sober4achange

Oh I'm so with you, I too want to be a "normie", unfortunately as much as I try to "control" havign 1 or 2 beers, within 3 days I'm drinking 1 or 2 cases again. You are here because you already figured it out, you can't CONTROL your drinking, it controls YOU! Just take a bit and think about the past time you have said "I'm only going to have a beer or two" how did that work out? I'm thinking not very well or you wouldn't be here I had dreams all night about drinking and so wanted a beer when I woke up because it tasted so good in my dream!

Dinosaur

I know exactly what you mean. I would like to have a beer watching a game or go for a couple of drinks after work. The thing is, if 1 beer makes me feel nice and 2 makes me feel twice as nice, 8 will make me feel 8 times as nice. It'll also make me ill. I had to re-sit that lesson about 10,000 times before it actually dawned on me what I had to do, whether I liked it or not.

carl11

I had 47 days sober until last Friday/Saturday…..I said hey, just chill for a while, drink some raw teas…they won’t get me drunk etc….3 were in the house…well when the 3 were gone did I stop?…no and frankly I never intended to deep down…woke Saturday and started drinking again…I cannot drink at all..I drink to get drunk…period. If you can have 2-3 and stop, then cool…not for me.

Octoman

Brilliant Barb. That really bought a smile to my face too

ForeverHopeful

Mrs. M, I wish I could be that way, too, and have often fooled myself into thinking I could. Problem is that on a rare occasion, I can. Most other times it turns into a bottle or two of wine or a six-pack or two. Self-control is a tough thing, but mine usually goes right out the window after the first drink...

GlassPrisoner

"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death. "


Been there done that. Bought the T-shirt. I

hope you find out soon, and make a decision one way or the other.

Alcohol's sneaky, it sneaks up on you. I just woke up one day, 40 something, a full blown alcoholic that would go into withdraw if I didn't have booze in me. At least, that's how it seemed....