Should I call him...then what?
get it, give it, grow in it
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Should I call him...then what?
SHOULD I CALL My SON?
If so what do I say? The space between us is so great that I don't even know what to say to my only child any more. He knows how sad I am and that I miss him, yet he still doesn't try to connect. Should I keep trying to connect?
After not knowing for a couple of months, I think that my 23 yo son is living at his dad's, my ex, because his dad called last week to say he was coming to live there. That is just 15 min. away. My son has been estranged for the last several yrs. only talking to me a few times a yr. and never coming to visit even though he lives in the same county. He recently lost his job & apt., broke up with girlfriend, lost his band, etc. What DO I SAY?
If so what do I say? The space between us is so great that I don't even know what to say to my only child any more. He knows how sad I am and that I miss him, yet he still doesn't try to connect. Should I keep trying to connect?
After not knowing for a couple of months, I think that my 23 yo son is living at his dad's, my ex, because his dad called last week to say he was coming to live there. That is just 15 min. away. My son has been estranged for the last several yrs. only talking to me a few times a yr. and never coming to visit even though he lives in the same county. He recently lost his job & apt., broke up with girlfriend, lost his band, etc. What DO I SAY?
get it, give it, grow in it
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
parentrecovers, thanks for reminding me that my truth from my heart is all that is needed. It would be nice if no outcome was expected. But I do have expectations to reconnect and have a relationship with my son. However, as long as he's an addict the reality is that most likely just isn't possible
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
My Mom is a practicing alcoholic, and will die soon from the disease. She lives in a Government subsidized retirement apartment complex, and cleans houses for extra money.
Part of my amends to her are calling her every weekend. It's usually not heart to heart, and more often than not she's tied one on before I call (10:00 AM Saturdays). But I do it, every week, and she looks forward to it.
Part of my amends to her are calling her every weekend. It's usually not heart to heart, and more often than not she's tied one on before I call (10:00 AM Saturdays). But I do it, every week, and she looks forward to it.
get it, give it, grow in it
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Today when I think on it I can feel some anger. Anger is not an emotion that I've ever been comfortable expressing. I'm angry at my son for treating me with disregard; I am angry at my son because he abandoned me; I'm angry that he communicates with his dad now & not me even though his dad was a jerk when he was growing up; I am angry that he is a drug addict. My anger is expressed as sadness. I have not expressed anger to my son, Only unconditonal love. For me that is the role of mother. In reality no matter what I express, it doesn't change anything in the relationship. So I know, I must remember to change the things I can, myself and accept the rest. It is a bitter pill to swallow. I haven't tried to call yet I guess avoidance has become a two-way street.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
