in_a_pickle

Thanks collinsmi, I guess I've been a bit wrapped up in myself for the past couple of days it never crossed my mind that what I'm doing has positive effect on anyone else. Nice to know.

I found the avatar the day after I signed up to the site, it made me laugh, thats just how a dog looks at you when you tell him to drop something! He he.

Tazman53

pickle you have passed some major major tests for how early you are in sobriety! Hold your head high and when that urge hits you and you are feeling a bit weak, just tell that urge Bull Crap!!! If I could handle a drinking meeting only sober 3 days, I will wait the 5 minutes for you to leave!!!

You know pickle early in sobriety it is very crucial to stay focused on your self, but I found in AA as I had more sober time under my belt and continued to work the steps that what actually helped my sobriety and happiness was working with other alcoholics and helping others.

As you spend time in AA you will hear some one say "You have to give it away to keep it!". Sounds crazy at first, but one of the best ways for an alcoholic to stay sober is working with another alcoholic helping them either get or stay sober! I have found this to be so very true, the craziest part to me is, the more I give it away, the more I get back in return.

in_a_pickle

Thanks for the support Tazman.

I reckon that at the moment I'm not having as much trouble staying sober as I'll have over the next couple of weeks (months? Years?) as I have a bit of momentum going. I still feel really odd, spaced out, physically weak, dull head ache, etc, feelings which conspire to inspire.

I'm not going to lie to you, I was sitting in that bar looking at all the beer thinking, "I could down that, all I'd have to do is walk up to the bar and buy a drink". I seriously wanted a drink, and I still wanted a beer when I got home. My body wants it but my heart and mind are refusing to give in.

Tazman53

Honesty is key in getting and staying sober, I felt just like you, I got out of detox after 5 days and it was a mental battle the whole way home to not stop and get myself a 12 pack! I mentally obsessed about drinking on and off a lot in the first month I was sober.

What helped me through those early days and still helps me daily is the fellowship and the 12 steps of AA. When I got out of detox they told me if I wanted a chance to stay sober I needed to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor! For the first ime in many many years I followed directions and here I am over 9 months later, still sober & happier then I have been in over 30 years and I owe it all to the fellowship and the 12 steps of AA and my willingness to do what ever it took to stay sober.

collinsmi

Fulfill a few simple requirements every day and soon it won't be such a big deal. Doesn't bother me not to drink, don't want to drink anymore. There isn't any more of that conflict. Yet I know from past experience, that if I let up on my program I will be drunk again, sooner or later.

collinsmi

Not that I got used to not drinking, something happened in there somewhere. I just didn't WANT to anymore.

GrouchoTheCat

Boy, do I identify, the amazing thing was that I did not realize just how mocus I was until I got beyond it and at 7+ months I am still getting clearer. I just can't believe what a fog I was in.

in_a_pickle

I hope to get to that stage collinsmi. Ank thanks once again tazman.

Short term memory loss, its driving me crazy! I keep forgetting why I walked into rooms, where I put my coffee cup etc. Yesterday I went to get some papers out of a cupboard and ended up having a shower instead. I keep laughing at myself, but will I ever remember why I was laughing at myself?

barb dwyer

hoo boy.
we did a whole thread on that one time.

I was so relieved to find out about PAWS I couldn't sit still (that's a pun)

CarolD

Here is a link to PAWS

http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm

and another about alcohol and brain functions

http://www.alcohol-drug.com/neuropsych.htm

You too can recover...
er ah....what's your name again?

barb dwyer

Carol - LOLOL

fuster

Hello, Pickle-san. How are you?

You will observe strange behavior or events (or both) in your life as you stay off booze. I was knocking over glasses of water and tripping on my own shoes for a while.

If you can slowly lose the preoccupation with what others think of you, that will help. Easier said than done. When you are within your own mind you are in enemy territory. When you find yourself thinking a lot, it is time to grab a friend and talk. If you can meet face to face it is even better.

There are many things outside of yourself that will cause you to want to drink. If you can wait a mere ten minutes, the urge becomes less. What you need to focus on right now is putting together a bunch of 24 hours without drinking. One day at a time, 24 hours a day, one foot in front of the other.

You might try reading the forward chapter in the Big Book by Dr. Silkworth (The Doctor's Opinion). It is what got me curious about AA and it launched my odessy into the world of sobriety (plus in-patient treatment). After 13 years without a drink or a drug, I continue to go to AA (and CA) meetings every week. As Dr. Silkworth says, we alcoholics have a disease characterized by an allergic reaction to alcohol, such that we have cravings for it so strong that, by ourselves, we are helpless to avoid drinking. We can stop, that is easy. But without a psychic change brought about by a program that includes a belief in a power greater than ourselves, we eventually start once again drinking.

barb dwyer

"Pickle - San"

in_a_pickle

Thanks guys,

What you said about the allergic reaction was what I was talking about with the guy from AA the other day.

Day 5 nearly over which marks something of a milestone for me, the longest I've ever gone without a drink is five days. So when I wake up tomorrow morning I'll be in new territory.

barb dwyer

wooHOO!!!

you can do it!

Tom

Good job, Pickle. I'm about to join you in that 5-day club after today is over.

Tazman53

Congrats Pickle, are you hyped about your first AA meeting?

in_a_pickle

Yes Taz, I'm looking forward to it. I've been put in touch with a couple of people who attend the local meetings and they've been great, really supportive and open. I've really thrown myself onto the wagon and I'm wonderfully suprised how willing people, complete strangers, have been to help.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I kind of wish I'd taken these first steps last year when I first contacted AA and then chickened out.

See I can remember that but I can't remember where the hell I put my keys..

Tazman53

LOL I can relate to that, I always put my keys in my pants pocket, as long as I am wearing my pants I have my keys.... same with my wallet, please do not ask me where the remote is though!!!

One of the very reasons AA works is that in order to keep what we have gotten from AA we have to give it away! The primary purpose of AA is for us to stay sober and to help those out there still suffering to get and stay sober.

Do not get me wrong, you will find an occasional jerk in AA, but they are the ones who need to work their program harder and the best way to handle them is to set an example for them of how they should be with out judging them.

collinsmi

Let me know how the meeting goes! Also curious about AA in Japan in general. Sounds like a very different culture.