thiskidknows

I have been reading the 12 steps, just the headings and it mentions god alot, I lost faith in God along time ago.

I am CofE was christened used to go chruch, but when I was 9 I lost my faith in God and refused to go. Sorry I'm going off the point.

If you have lost faith in God and don't believe that a powerful creator would then become a destroyer and then a healer, why would he destroy something to then become a healer, thats the same as someone hurting you to the extent it ruins ur life forever and then asking for forgiveness isn't it?

The reason I'm posting is will the 12 steps work if u have lost faith in God? and also because I don't understand some of the meanings behind each step. I know I probably shouldn't worry myself with each one, but, if I start something I need to know and understand the basics. sorry, anixety of the unknown I think.

parentrecovers

just take it one step at a time. start with number one -

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.

the god thing works itself out. aa is not meant to be a complicated program. don't make it so.

blessings, k

thiskidknows

I complicate everything don't I, why do I do this, why can't I just take it as it is, black and white and stop looking for the grey..why do I over anaylis everything. I really annoy the heck out of me.

parentrecovers

you don't have to complicate it. you have choices. hugs, k

Dee74

Lol. don't over analyse the fact that you over analyse, or you'll start resembling me !

there are lots of atheists and agnostics in AA, LC...lots of people find the group itself fits their conception of the Higher Power needed...anything greater than ourselves...kinda like your focus on your nieces and nephews I guess...

go to a meeting like you've planned to and see what it's like

D

Live

Actually I have found some people call God....good orderly direction....and it is usually said now that it is higher power as you understand that.

So, no, you do not have to be of religious faith of any type to work with the 12 steps.

I could not work with anything or anyone who dictated a religion of any kind to me.

thiskidknows

I did it again didn't I, analysed why I over analyse everything. ..that must be why I am a business analysis.

Thank you for ur replies, I will go tomorrow and sit in the back and just listen. gawd what am I like, already the nerves, panicing, i worry about everything, including when i have nothing to worry about..

I didn't even understand the higher power...every person is higher then me..i'm in the gutter with the rats, although their higher then me.

I feel so low, I just want to feel ok, even if not happy, just content.

SaTiT

it worked for me...

Not only did I lost faith..
Not only did i didn't belive there was a god.
I freaken hated god..if there was a god.
and i question it and i question it..

i just had to keep it very simple and i got a sponsor.
I kept going back to AA no mattter what..becuase i was
a rebel without a cuz.lol
"Keep coming back no matter what"
that's was all my sponsor told me to do and that was all
he wanted me to do. So i just had to follow instructions.
The guy kind of knew what i was going through..perhaps
he felt like I did.
He actaully prevented me from working the steps.
or told me not to worry about them..becuase i guess
he knew i had a hell of a time with the god thing..

maybe he knew i had a hell of a time of just wanting to
live another moment. i tried to committ suicide already
once before.
I went to AA becuase the folks in there protected me.
i was their baby. i was the youngest person there and
yep..i got totally babied and loved. Not so much telling
me to do anything. But if anyone should give me a hard
time..the old folks would step in really, really fast and
if i acted out..they would tell me to chill out. No punishments,
no guilts, no shame..just chill out.
They love me unconditionally, they gave me plenty of space.
All they ask of me was to keep coming back and maybe
i could kinda laid off the juice.

There was a shade with all kinds of stuff that the group had..it was stuff people gave away so we could use the money for a BBQ..so I hang out in there and just cleaned it between the meetings. my grand sponsor would just chill between the meetings. And i would help him mop the floor and stuff like that..becuase he was an oldman in his 70's. He kept the doors opened pretty much all day.he tell my jokes and war stories..he was in WWII.I don't know..a week later we restack the struff again and take inventory again. what da ???...oh well,
old people lost their marbles i guess...

My sponsor asked me to do a gradtitute list when I ask him
about the steps...what da ???? he's crazy too.
I was sleeping my car at the time..what the heck did i have
to be greatful for ??...crazy sponsor asking me to the damness thing..

SaTiT

Here's the kicker..okay
I wasn't homeless...i just didn't wanna go home.
Becuase I home was a wreack and it gave me the
hee bee geebies.. i wouldn't live alone..so i slept
in my car at a rest stop..becuase there was noise
and people around all the time.

i heard my grandsponsor say oneday. "clean house"
So I went home and clean my house..lol
yeah kind of like what i did with the old man...
just chill and clean stuff.

i was that guy that shows up to meetings
with a damn sports cars and the newbies would trip
becuase i had money and a sports car.
I grew up in the west side of town and my alki father
is an ECO...He was also the dean of our church.
I knew the bible like the back of my hand

i was misaerable as hell..the material success or money
didn't bring me happiness..somebody freanken lied to me.
I wanted to died..

but the oldtimers knew better..

Peter

LC you sound like you have the same problems I had when I first saw the Steps.

I did not like the "God" words and I demanded to know what all 12 Steps meant right away.

Just like liveweyerd said I had to superimpose "good orderly direction" over the God words everytime I heard or read them. It may seem difficult to do right now but it really isn't hard at all if you give it a try. Don't let prejudice prevent you from finding the help that is available.

Best of luck to you in whatever you do

collinsmi

Your ideas about God are pretty much par for the course for someone coming in to AA. They are similar to what I felt and believed. As someone else has said, this program requires throwing many lifelong conceptions out the window. You don't have to do it this minute, though! Doing the second step helped me form new ideas about God, and the first step got me ready for the second step.

In my experience, there is a lot more to the steps than what is listed on page 59 - 60 and on those boards and posters in AA meeting rooms, e.g. 1). We admitted we were powerless over alcohol- that our lives had become unmanageable.

Well, exactly how does one go about doing that? Just say out loud "I admit I'm an alcoholic, and my life sure got unmanageable"? That is not how I did the first step. I did some reading, writing and studying. I got specific instructions from a sponsor who had already done the first step. He used the big book as source material.

Live

Oh, I can think of higher powers as ideals...such as justice, truth, beauty, love, compassion etc. I don't worship them as traditional worship goes...but those are things bigger than me, as a human I cannot be perfect at any one of them...but they are things to admire and strive for. Just knowing that I have alot to learn makes the idea of higher powers acceptable to me...as I will never attain perfect knowledge or wisdom either.

KatieMay

I hit 40 days sober tomorrow. I've only been to one AA meeting but I'm on here every day. I work from home and am Isolated because I'm on such a restricted driving suspension with all of what's gone on. Shut down a lot, really, but ok for now. Less anxious and on good meds from my Dr. I was too anxious to go to the meetings, didn't feel normal and it was a women's only meeting but one of them gave me the 'little big book' and I have read a lot of it. It talks about those who don't believe in religion or God. Good information and perspective. We are all part of a bigger system, if that helps give you a basis for thinking it out, rather than the 'God thing'. It might help you. This was a super group, too. I really like the women's only thing. Being around men would make me a wreck, disclosure-wise. I have no sponsor yet. I'll go, but my pace is just plain weird. I'm used to being 'out of pace!' 90 meetings in 90 days would never work for me... But 40 days, wow-- I couldn't get through 40 minutes at a time 40 days ago. But still, I can't look at a drink or go by a liquor store without wanting it so bad I can hardly stand it. I don't kow if that'll ever get better but I know I can't or I just won't stop once I start. I hope you do ok, you sound strong. Don't beat yourself up for nitpicking. We all do that and we are our worst enemies, aren't we? All that we go through and still we kick the heck out of ourselves! Be kind to yourself and try to start healing-- KM.

Tazman53

LC read more in the BB, you will find that it is spelled out that where ever God is mentioned that it is really a "Higher Power of your understanding". You are not alone in your feelings about God, many have avoided AA thinking AA was some sort of religion or associated with some religion, it is not. Here is what I share with a sponsee who is Aethiest, Agnostic, or simply despises religion as far as what thier Higher Power of thier understanding should be:
LC look up God in the dictionary, in a nutshell God is a Higher Power.

BTW if you really want a better understanding of the steps why not ask some one to be your sponsor at the next AA meeting you go to?

fraankie

change your screenname to
"thiskidknows"

time takes time with the other stuff
besides
something that always struck me
someone shared
"i am a spiritual being experiencing a human condition"
so
focus on yourself
i don't think we can answer why God does this or that
it's called "faith"

best
fraankie

thiskidknows

Frankie, I done as u suggested...others have also asked me to change my name..so its done...