Change4life

I joined the lions club so I could become more invoved in the community and help people.

Thee induction is next week and I just found out it is a 4hr open bar. I am very concerned about this, because I have to go> there is no way out of it.

Im trying to get my girlfriend to come with me. If she is there I wont drink cause she hates it and I barely know these people and dont want to make afool of myself. i am not sure how to handle the situation.

ANY SUGGESTIONS?

miss communicat

beth,

when i first got sober, my priorities had to change.

I had to pass on the notion that I needed to be anywhere where there was an open bar.

In fact, i have learned in the many sober years since, i am not NEEDED at any social function. I am not that important.
I also learned that in choosing where I want to be and where I don't want to be, I owe nobody an excuse.

I learned to check myself first, for motive and for spiritual fitness before joining groups and starting relationships and making agreements. My first priority and relationship is to serve a higher force. My second priority is to maintain spiritual and physical fitness, and to do this, i must remain sober. Saving the comminity and the world, for me, comes later, once i am strong and healthy.

These last few days you have had a rough time. I hope you check in with your truth before you allow yourself to feel thus obligated.

Caring about you and proud of the beautiful spirit inside you!

CarolD

Are you certain about this?

I was a guest twice at Lions Club meetings
recently..no alcohol was served...dinner was

However..
If you go...your plan to take a sober person along
is excellent.

Hugs

Change4life

I cant not go the dinner is in honor of me. How would that look.
People are paying 40$ to come to a dinner in honor of me and to welcome me into the club.

BP44

Sounds like you're concerned for your sobriety. And if you are concerned that this may be dangerous, then you are basically saying," I'm not spiritually fit for this function at this time" There are some social functions that I don't think I will ever be fit enough to attend. Drunken batchelor parties and the like are a thing of the past. I personally don't feel uncomfortable being around normal drinkers. I do not like being around people that drink like I did. Here's and example...my in-law's family functions always have an open bar. They all drink normally. One maybe two drinks and they are all done. I drink my coffee, tea, or water. I am fine with that. But I don't need to go to a keg party. Nor do I need to go hang out in a bar for the sake of sitting in at the bar to look at the scenery. I can go into a bar if I have a purpose for being there, social function, company function, reunion, etc. But I have to be in good spiritual fitness. To know that takes an honest look at where I am. You asked how will it look if you don't go. The real question is how will it feel to pick up another a white chip?

chip

Hello Bfree,
Here's what I would do:
- Pray about it.
- Try to get out of it. I'd go so far as to lie to get out of it. Sudden "illness" has worked for me in the past.
- If I decided to go, I'd go with a sober friend who is strong in their recovery. I'm in AA, and I'd ask my sponsor to go with me. He's been sober for 24 years, and I think he could help me keep on the right path.
- If I went, I would make sure I had an "escape plan", so I could disappear if I started feeling weird.
- When I go up to the bar for a coffee or a pop, I'd consider telling the bartender that I'm an alcoholic. This would make it REALLY awkward later if I had an urge to order a drink.
- I'd show up right before dinner was served, and avoid "cocktail hour".
- I'd find an excuse to leave early. I might even get my wife to call me during dessert with an "emergency".

Whatever you end up doing, I hope you will stay sober. I hope you get through this. Life is full of challenges for the sober alcoholic. The trick is to figure out how to pass through these challenges without relapse. I'd go to any lengths to stay sober. The bottom line for me is that if I was really worried that I'd slip, I'd lie to get out of going in the first place.
chip

Dee74

I kinda have to agree with miss c on this one Beth...you've had a really hard time recently, been really strung out - I know you're strong, but I'm really not sure you need to put yourself in an open bar situation right now on top of everything else going on...it just screams nooooooooooo at me.

nothing is more important than you and your continued health...and that includes expectations like this that you feel you have to meet.

if you do go, please take some of the suggestions here to heart.

D

Tazman53

If this is what it is about then I would do what my sponsor tells me to do in situations like this, "Check my motives" first, I am really solid in my sobreity so what may be good for me may not be good for others. If it is a "dinner to honor and welcome me" then I would (keep in mind I am solid at this moment in my sobriety) go to the dinner and simply drink either coffee, iced tea, or coke. At the end of the dinner I would see how things were going with this open bar.

I still make sure I have a way out, no matter what, I drive that way I can leave when I think I should. If I started to feel in any way I might want to have a drink, I leave.

If you feel you can handle going then all you need to do is keep a coke in your hand, no one is going to ask you if you want a drink, because you already got one. Taking your girl freind or an AA friend is an excellent way of not being uncomfortable. take note of how many people do not drink!

I was shocked, when I was drinking I thought every one drank, looking back on it I lived by the bar at events like this so the only people I saw were people drinking. Now that I am sober I have found that a lot of people do not drink and there are a lot of folks that only have one or two drinks and that is it, they do not want another drink.

CarolD has some great suggestions for going to places where drinking is going on. Just make sure you keep sobriety your number one priority and leave if you have to.