Thought I was codependent, decided I'm an alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 16
Thought I was codependent, decided I'm an alcoholic
I've been a long time lurker on this site & have made a couple of posts on the family forum about my brother. Since then I have started going to Alanon. Have gone maybe 6 times in about 8 weeks.
So I started the first step admitting I was powerless over alcohol, thinking this meant I was powerless over the craziness of my family. I also started to read "Under the Influence". Well guess what? I'm an alcoholic.
It's understandable why I never knew this before. My whole family drinks & 2 brothers are now in their 50's & are really no longer "functioning" alcoholics. So no one in my family would even begin to think of my drinking as a problem. I usually drink about a bottle of wine 1 to 2 nights a week. My husband also drinks (1 to 2 beers a night, maybe more on weekends). Although my husband actually drinks more then I do, there is a big difference in the way we drink. He'll be ready to eat after a couple of drinks & I will want to keep drinking. I also blackout & have horrible hangovers. Consequently, I don't like to drink too often & when I go out I'll use extreme will power & have 1 or 2 drinks (sometimes I'm not able to do this & I am totally depressed about it). Needless to say, I'm usually not crazy to go to those type of events. It's more like work. I really had no idea everyone who drinks wasn't spending the same amount of energy keeping their drinking under control the same way I was. Maybe I've been so mad at family members because I view them as not trying hard enough to keep functioning.
I've decided to quit drinking. I haven't had a drink in 7 days. I don't know if I will go to AA. I haven't mentioned this at my Alanon meeting. I don't know if I haven't because it's hard to admit or it didn't fit into last week's topic.
Does anyone have any thoughts or advice for me?
So I started the first step admitting I was powerless over alcohol, thinking this meant I was powerless over the craziness of my family. I also started to read "Under the Influence". Well guess what? I'm an alcoholic.
It's understandable why I never knew this before. My whole family drinks & 2 brothers are now in their 50's & are really no longer "functioning" alcoholics. So no one in my family would even begin to think of my drinking as a problem. I usually drink about a bottle of wine 1 to 2 nights a week. My husband also drinks (1 to 2 beers a night, maybe more on weekends). Although my husband actually drinks more then I do, there is a big difference in the way we drink. He'll be ready to eat after a couple of drinks & I will want to keep drinking. I also blackout & have horrible hangovers. Consequently, I don't like to drink too often & when I go out I'll use extreme will power & have 1 or 2 drinks (sometimes I'm not able to do this & I am totally depressed about it). Needless to say, I'm usually not crazy to go to those type of events. It's more like work. I really had no idea everyone who drinks wasn't spending the same amount of energy keeping their drinking under control the same way I was. Maybe I've been so mad at family members because I view them as not trying hard enough to keep functioning.
I've decided to quit drinking. I haven't had a drink in 7 days. I don't know if I will go to AA. I haven't mentioned this at my Alanon meeting. I don't know if I haven't because it's hard to admit or it didn't fit into last week's topic.
Does anyone have any thoughts or advice for me?
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
I am happy that you recognize you have a drinking problem.
Coninue reading "Under the influence" and try to get a copy of the AA basic text also.Excellent reading.
Keep posting here and try to keep an open attitude about going to AA meetings one day. They really helped me
Coninue reading "Under the influence" and try to get a copy of the AA basic text also.Excellent reading.
Keep posting here and try to keep an open attitude about going to AA meetings one day. They really helped me
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
mmm..there's like an old AA slogen.
Sometimes people come through the back door of AA..that'll be through al-anon.lol
I also to go the ACOA section and read those 13 traits of ACOA.
it pretty much nail on it the head...it helps me understand more.
so I've trying to cover as many bases as I can with this thing call alocholism.
I came to this conclusion due to much pain and suffering.lol
You know..that damn elephant in the living room all these years.
I've been infected by it ? born with it ?..who knows....
Basically it all overlaps and is like a web to me.
Just trying to live life without the disease messing with me.
Reparenting myself, my thought process, my perception of life.
I had a pair of glasses on backwards that's totally fracture as you can say.
So i just do first things first..i don't drinking or using no matter what.
I work my steps ..they're bascailly the same 12 steps.
I can't imagine working the codi 12 steps drunk anyways.
I'll only be attracted to people that's about as sick as me...makesense ?
Sometimes people come through the back door of AA..that'll be through al-anon.lol
I also to go the ACOA section and read those 13 traits of ACOA.
it pretty much nail on it the head...it helps me understand more.
so I've trying to cover as many bases as I can with this thing call alocholism.
I came to this conclusion due to much pain and suffering.lol
You know..that damn elephant in the living room all these years.
I've been infected by it ? born with it ?..who knows....
Basically it all overlaps and is like a web to me.
Just trying to live life without the disease messing with me.
Reparenting myself, my thought process, my perception of life.
I had a pair of glasses on backwards that's totally fracture as you can say.
So i just do first things first..i don't drinking or using no matter what.
I work my steps ..they're bascailly the same 12 steps.
I can't imagine working the codi 12 steps drunk anyways.
I'll only be attracted to people that's about as sick as me...makesense ?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our Alcoolism Forum!
7 days is a good start..Congratulations!
I too used the info in "Under The Influence" to quit.
I continue my recovery with God and AA.
Works great...:
Keep in focus You too can win over addiction.
7 days is a good start..Congratulations!
I too used the info in "Under The Influence" to quit.
I continue my recovery with God and AA.
Works great...:
Keep in focus You too can win over addiction.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
finally I can tell you that I know first hand of another lady who started off in alanon while her husband went to AA, this went on for about a month, then who was sitting beside her husband in a closed meeting? She was..... I found this kind of odd, her husband is a good guy and is working a good program so I really was surprised she stayed once the meeting started, she picked up her surrender chip that night, like you she had thought her husband was the only one with a problem.
I know quit a few folks who are in AA & alanon, but most of them have been going to AA for a lot of years and started going to Alanon as weel when one of thier kids picked up a few to many genes from the parent.
Last night in a meeting I went to a father and son both picked up 12 year chips!
I know quit a few folks who are in AA & alanon, but most of them have been going to AA for a lot of years and started going to Alanon as weel when one of thier kids picked up a few to many genes from the parent.
Last night in a meeting I went to a father and son both picked up 12 year chips!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Hi Finally!
I spent four years thinking my problems were because my BF was an alcoholic. I blamed him for always being out and not wanting to come home.
Then one night I went out with the town drunk and I fell flat on my face. I woke up sore and embarrassed and I looked at my ABF and said I have to stop.
He hasn't recognised his alcoholism yet but I am working hard in early recovery (after two slips).
I would love to think that one day he will join me in the rooms - whether we are together or not - but that is not something I can control.
Welcome to SR!!! It's a great place.
I spent four years thinking my problems were because my BF was an alcoholic. I blamed him for always being out and not wanting to come home.
Then one night I went out with the town drunk and I fell flat on my face. I woke up sore and embarrassed and I looked at my ABF and said I have to stop.
He hasn't recognised his alcoholism yet but I am working hard in early recovery (after two slips).
I would love to think that one day he will join me in the rooms - whether we are together or not - but that is not something I can control.
Welcome to SR!!! It's a great place.
Coffee Drinker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Lobstah Land
Posts: 1,122
I know a guy who left the alanon meeting to get a cup of real coffee in the aa meeting in the next room (the alanon's only had decaf).
He got his coffee and started to listen to the speaker. He heard this man tell his story and he's been in AA ever since.
Ted
He got his coffee and started to listen to the speaker. He heard this man tell his story and he's been in AA ever since.
Ted
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 16
8 days! 1 Friday night! - actually 2 but the first doesn't count as I was hungover LOL
Thanks for all the replies. It is so helpfull to get feedback. I had no idea it would be.
Thanks for all the replies. It is so helpfull to get feedback. I had no idea it would be.
Last edited by finally; 05-26-2007 at 08:31 AM.
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